The content of the book was interesting, but I didn't particularly enjoy the writing. I felt that there was too much build-up.

Most of the book is a ramble — if you like personal blogs, you’ll like this. I love personal blogs, and I’m always fascinated by how other people feel and think, so I enjoyed it. But one line really struck me and has continued to resonate with me. In the beginning of the book, when Fred is just beginning to become Seda, he’s asking his wife Kristin about her clothes and jewelry. Kristin tells him that being a woman isn’t about wearing nice things, it’s about constantly putting others first. It’s about doing the 10,000 invisible things that let her husband concentrate on his one job, and then she says:

“It’s not possible for you to be a woman…. If you were, you could live with this and not make any outward changes. You would just be who you are on the inside to hold our family together. For us.”

If he were really a woman, she says, he wouldn’t upend everyone else’s security and stability to live his best life. That just stuck with me, all the invisible things we woman do and all the ways that we take care of others’ needs. A husband — even a husband who considers his wife his equal — depends on this invisible wife work every time he asks “Honey, where are my shoes?” or “We’re out of shampoo!”

Kristin has been doing this for her husband when he decides to begin his transition, and throughout the book, that’s what she continues to do, putting her kids and her husband-turned-wife and her boyfriends and her extended group of friends and family (even the ones who are offended and upset by Fred’s transition to Seda) first. The whole book is raw and honest, and by the end of this, I just wanted to shake everyone around her. DON’T YOU GUYS SEE WHAT SHE’S DOING FOR YOU!?!?!? Do you see all this invisible household work? Someone is doing it all, for you.

When Kristin Collier’s husband comes out as trans, they both have questions about what it means for their marriage. Will they stay together? How will the children react?

Housewife explores the changing dynamics of a family. It explores Collier’s reaction to those changes and the effect it has on her as a woman. Who is she now that she has a wife?

A lot of the language discussing trans people (e.g., transsexual, FTM and MTF) felt outdated and jarring to me. I don’t whether this is because of differences in how trans issues are discussed in the US vs. Europe or the US vs. Ireland. Maybe it’s a personal preference of Collier and her family. I’m not sure, but as the memoir progressed these terms appeared less often and trans and transgender took their place. Maybe these words are an indication of the time these events took place, the time of Yahoo groups. Maybe the choice of words show how far Collier’s knowledge had come throughout this experience. Maybe it’s a combination of all these things. This did occupy my mind for a significant portion of the book. It made going with the flow of the story difficult. It pulled me out of moments and made it difficult to step back in to them. It played a large part in my frustration with the book.

I admire Collier’s candour and her willingness to share the complicated, confusing and oftentimes painful moments. Housewife may help spouses of trans people, in the way that Collier couldn’t find books that helped her through the journey. This is why she wrote it, to help others. But as a cisgender woman, who isn’t in this situation, I found it a frustrating read. I wanted to hear from Seda, I wanted to be reading Seda’s memoir.

Thank you for this book. I find the topic interesting, but I did not like the book. I found it to be boring and I did not finish it. Sorry. I will not write a negative review. Good luck with the book.

This book takes on a very interesting topic. However, it is peppered with some strange poetry, new age stuff, and just not at all necesary to tell things. Spoiler- the relationship fizzles, but they still live together. It is confusing and ro me it seems like the author is only interested in doing whatever it takes to get supported financially by someone she is not in a true relationship with.

Long drawn out book about a man who wants to be a woman and how his wife, kids,family members and friends handled it. Book could have been shorter. I skimmed a lot to get to the end. Thanks to Netgalley for the advanced copy in return for my honest review.