While I liked Half, I'm not sure I loved it. This was a different book for me. I never felt as invested in the characters together as I felt like I should. Individually, both seemed wonderful and intriguing. Together I just didn't get the spark I needed to feel like I was invested in them working things out. Maybe I just didn't get to know each of them enough individually, to be able to see just how they fit together.

The world building is beautiful, the writing overall was really good and I'd definately read this author again. This was perhaps just not the book for me.

This was bittersweet but also beautiful. I liked it a lot. The story in set in our world but there are many fae creatures that live among us. Luca is an oddity. He's half human and half fae. As a result he's very ill. Something in his Fae half does not work right and that blood is poisoning his human half. Luca has spend several years wandering around the world looking for a cure. He hasn't been able to find one so he comes home to live his last years out.

His father and sister are full Fae and they want him to see Kin, a healer who is a mix himself (but of a different kind). Luca has pretty much given up home but he goes to see Kin anyways. The attraction between the two men is instant. They begin spending time together and fall for each other. Along the way they try to deal with Luca's physical problems and when Kin comes up with a possible cure they have to deal with the fallout. They get together pretty quickly and often I have problems with that in my books but in this one it really worked for me. They both know from the beginning that their time might be limited and they embrace what they have right away.

I'll say right now that this book is probably going to be a love or hate kind of book for many readers. It's a serious read with a very melancholy tone to it. The book is an ongoing discussion of death and dying, grief and love, and quality of life. I know the topic will be too heavy for some but I loved it. I work with terminally ill people and the discussions that Luca & Kin have are things I see every day. We don't do death very well here in the US and so many want to do every last thing medically possible for their loved one but somewhere along the way they lose sight of who their loved one used to be. The person that they were. Sometimes people will go against that person's wishes and keep just a shell of them alive. That's how their grief works. I LOVED how this author tackles this issue. How she lets Luca find a voice for himself. How she lets the others be angry but then accepting. I especially loved how she didn't take the easy way out and give Luca a magical solution that fixed everything.

This is the first time I've read this author and I thought her writing was beautiful. It's lyrical and haunting in places. She set the tone for this book so well. I tabbed a bunch of places where I thought passages were especially well done.

I really recommend this if you're looking for something outside of the box. This is a beautiful love story but does not fit the style of a typical romance. The topic is heavy but again, I thought parts were really beautiful.

**Review copy provided by publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review**

Before I start this review I feel the need to add a trigger warning which this story doesn't have but for me there needs be one. TW for serious disease/disablity, which is potentially terminal.

This is a debut novel and I was drawn to the premise of an urban fantasy with faeries and the while I enjoyed a lot of things in the story ultimately it was an OK read for me.

I loved the writing style, it's very lyrical, poetic and reminds me a bit of Alexis Hall's writing which I absolutely love.

Eli Lang tells a tender love story, subdued and quiet and in a way I missed there being a stronger conflict at the center of it. The mood was melancholic and self-reflective throughout the story and while I liked it and also felt it was too much at times.

Both main characters, Luke and Kin are interesting and well developed. The focus falls on Luke and his struggles to come to terms with his fate which leads to a lot introspection, thoughts on life and death, im(mortality), the meaning of love. I very much enjoyed how the author explored the complexity of human relations, the difficulty of building and maintaining meaningful connections with the people around.

The romance between Luke and Kin was something I really liked in the story. There was an easy, natural flow to it with the inevitable setbacks and both characters making mistakes and trying to overcome them. We see two people coming together and learning to be together and making compromises and ultimately respecting the decisions the other persons makes.

A major plot in the story was Luke's relationship with his sister and I felt it overshadowed the main plot at times. There was a lot of going back and forth in both relationships (Luke and Kin; Luke and his sister) and some repetition which I found annoying. This affected the flow of the story as a whole making go all too slow at times, nothing much happening.

I was the drawn to the (urban) fantasy setting and found it interesting but in the end it felt underdeveloped. I was left wanting to learn more about the world of the different faeries.

The ending is a bit unconventional when it comes to romance though it was fitting and came as not surprise. It's a sort of HFN ending, not too optimistic but focused on the now and enjoying the good things while they last without thinking much of the future.

Despite the issues I had with this story, still I found it to be a very tender, imaginative romance beautifully told. It was not quite the right book for me but I loved the author's writing style and I want to read more of her books in the future.

Reviews by the Wicked Reads Review Team

Erica – ☆☆☆
Eli Lang is a new-to-me author. I wasn't sure what to expect after reading the blurb and deciding to read the story. After reading it from start to finish, I'm still unsure of what I read. I had a difficult time falling into the story, never truly connecting, and this has me feeling conflicted as I write my review.

With a slower pacing, without much of a set-up, I felt confused, as if dumped into the middle of a second book. The author does release some of the information in bits and pieces throughout the novel, but never enough to clear up the confusion. Not that Half has a complicated storyline, but the world-building is so piecemeal, I had a hard time connecting.

Well-written, a beautiful story, with an intriguing concept, Half never gripped me. It was an issue of ‘not my cup of tea’ mixed with execution issues – the way the information was delivered.

Luca is half-fae, half-human. He's living with a terminal illness as his human side and fae side conflict within his DNA. Health failing, after scanning the world for help, Luca has given up all hope. However, his father hasn't, turning to Kin to find aid.

Luca, while having no hope of a real cure, connects with Kin, who is trying to cure him. The romance blooms quickly, instantly, between the two, with an edge of sadness. Luca has a conflict of conscience – take a cure, not knowing if it will work, with the risk of being immortal if it does. A large majority of the novel is spent with Luca contemplating this decision.

All in all, no matter how beautifully written, there wasn't much going on in the novel, with the exception with the confusing fae world-building. The story revolved around Luca's illness, his relationship with Kin, whether or not to take the cure, and family ties.

There was a great deal of description and flowery prose. While this gives off a beautiful, ethereal feel, I felt it bogged down the pacing, drawing out an already slow book. My reading style leans more toward a faster pace.

I do believe this book has an audience, which will highly appreciate it. However, I don't believe I am said audience.

3.5

Oh man, what to say about Half? It's absolutely, devastatingly, hauntingly beautiful. The writing and language in this book is amazingly poignant. The characters are similarly lovely. The dilemma the main character finds himself in, the decision he has to make and the effect it will have on the people he loves is a gripping one. And that final decision was the harder, certainly literarily rarer one and I appreciated that. I think it's one disabled readers should get to see more often.

However, it's basically insta-love, leading to insta-relationship, there isn't a lot to the plot considering how long the book is, and a lot seems to hinge on decisions of the past. It's also very slow. Slow in a contemplative way, not a boring way, but it's certainly not action packed. In a very real way I kind of felt like all the lush language got in the way of telling the story. It's evocative, but tended to stall the forward movement. I do look forward to more of Lang's writing though.

This started out as a four star read but ended up with two stars. I hate to critcise books too harshly but it was just far too long. The content of the story stretched and stretched and in the end it felt far too thin and incredibly boring.

And this is a shame because the writing is beautiful and poignant. The story has a haunting feel to it with the fey and their other way of being, and how they exist on the margins of human life.

Luca is half fey and half human, but something is making him ill and killing him. His father who is also fey sent him away to find a cure but he has returned home, prehaps to eventually die. He is now distant from his sister and lives a life of loneliness on the margins of both fey and human worlds. Then he meets Kin who might have a cure but this cure has side effects and Luca might not want to take a chance.

The world building was creative and I enjoyed reading about the fey. The story focuses on Luca and his relationship with Kin. It shows how their love and attraction for each other deepens but as it does so the question of a cure becomes more acute and challenging. The story also focuses on the realtionship between Luca and his sister and a kind of healing is needed here as well.

The entire story revolves around the 'will he or won't he ' try this cure. And after a while the question began to grate because nothing happened. The entire story is focused on the emotional side, exploring the deep feelings of all the characters but it lacked action.

So by the end, despite the beautiful prose, I had enough. It was getting tedious. Great writing, not so great story. Alas.

Copy provided by Riptide Publishing via Netgalley.

Half is one of those books that sticks with you long after you read it. I'm pretty sure not everyone will be affected by Kin and Luca's story the same way. That's the beauty of books that aren't easy to read from an emotional stand point. They make you think and feel and the best ones make you ask what if?

There were a lot of layers to Half and quite a few perspectives to consider. What would you do to save someone you loved? What would you do if you were offered a cure that may or may not work? What if that cure changed you? How do you come to terms with the guilt you feel for not always being the person someone needed and the frustration of knowing that it may be too late to make up for it? There's no right or wrong answer... unless you're the person living with the decision you make.

That's about all I've got... Read Half with an open mind and heart and a box of tissues probably wouldn't be a bad idea. Also, it's probably worth mentioning that even though this book is about fairies, that's about the only paranormal aspect.

Link will be included when review posts.

Blurb from GR:
"Living between worlds has never been comfortable, but it’s where I’ve always fit: between human and fey, illness and health, magic and reality.

I’ve spent the last six years looking for a cure for the nameless sickness eating me up. If I believed there was one out there, I would keep searching. But there isn’t, so I’ve come back home, where my past and present tangle. Come home to live . . . and to die.

But my father insists I meet Kin. He’s a healer, and determined to help, even though I’m not so hopeful anymore. But Kin isn’t what I expected, in any way. He sees me, not my illness. He reminds me of what it’s like to be alive. And I can’t help falling for him, even though I know it isn’t fair to either of us.
Kin thinks he has the cure I’ve been looking for, but it’s a cure that will change everything: me, my life, my heart. If I refuse, I could lose Kin. But if I take it, I might lose myself."

As you can see from the above blurb Half is the story of a man part fey and part human who is living with chronic pain and illness. The fey side of him is battling his human side and slowly killing him. After traveling all over the world for the last six years in search of a cure, he’s finally come home, ready to live out what ever time he has left in the house his mother left him, surrounded by the familiar. Only his father has sent a request through his sister that he meet with one last healer. So he goes, even though the thought of getting his hopes up yet again brings him tremendous anxiety.

I have no idea how to review this book. On the one hand, I found the writing to be so, so lovely. I was drawn into this story almost immediately, and read the first 30-40% straight through. Then for some reason I hit a point where I wondered why Kin and Luca were so into each other. It almost felt like I was missing something. Their relationship moved way too fast. Strangers one minute, lovers the next. In fact the first time they meet and go home together is all off page. There is no scene of them emotionally and physically connecting, just a hint of it at the beginning of the next chapter.  For a minute I wondered if they had actually had an intimate encounter or just came home together and passed out. Later on it is mentioned, in the context of finding a cure for Luca’s illness, that Luca had swallowed Kin’s semen, so… yeah. I think Luca and Kin’s relationship would have benefitted from more time spent getting to know each other and maybe one or two partially open door love scenes of them connecting intimately.

Then I started wondering when I would get a better handle on the world building. There are facts thrown out about the fey like bread crumbs; they can’t stand iron, mer people are mean and aggressive, brownies like to cook home style meals, etc… But mostly I relied on my imagination and past reading experiences to fill in the blanks. I don’t think the world was set up in a way that gave a clear vision on who the fey were, what their society looked like and how exactly Luca did or didn’t fit in with them. It was more confusing than anything.

My favorite part of Half has to be Luca’s reconnection with his sister. That and the ending, which to be honest I was not expecting. I’m kind of hoping that the ending means we will see more of these characters in this world. Maybe a deeper look into the fey world that will answer all of the questions still floating around in my head.

In the end, I can say this was an interesting read, and although I didn’t love it, I am glad I took the time to pick up something by a new author.  

Favorite Quote:
“My heart of hearts always worships you.”

A new and unique story. I really enjoyed Lang's writing style and the world and plot here. I actually would have loved exploring this world more. I'm not sure if this is meant to be more than just a single book -- the ending is . . . not exactly an ending, considering everything, so I'm hopefully there's another?


A bit more on the sweet side. With the exception of one brief, and fairly tame/vague, sex scene towards the end of the book, everything else was fade-to-black.


Overall: Enjoyed it, but I did want to explore this world, and the characters, more. I'm hoping that there's plans for another book (or more). Please?!

Luca is very sick and he knows he doesn't have long to live. After spending the last few years searching the world for a cure, he returns home without an answer and without hope. Just as depression is fully settling in, Kin walks into Luca's life and everything is set on its head.

The interesting plot, the dynamic romance, and the wonderful world building, while perfectly written, did not matter in any way in this book. Emotion and the pull between hate and love, depression and happiness, and every other feeling in between, were the stars of this book. Luca and Kin's pain, their love, and their sorrow leapt out of the pages and yanked me firmly into their lives and their stories. This is a book that will alternatively have you laughing and crying as the emotion firmly overwhelms you, and that was a truly beautiful thing to read.

My only complaint with this book was it was a bit too long. It dragged in places. Luca spends most of the book stumbling around, trying to overcome the current bombshell that just dropped on his head, which quickly became repetitive. I found that I needed to put this book down and walk away for a bit--I even stopped to read another book for a few days midway through Half--so I could muster up the energy to read Luca's latest round of depression. Yes, some of the emotion was so heavy on my shoulders that I needed to back away to give myself time to breathe and process, but mostly I stepped away to regain my interest in what was overall a very well written story. If I didn't like the book, or if I didn't think it was worthwhile, I wouldn't have returned to it, let alone finished reading it. This book was definitely worth my while.

Wow. Eli really has a way with writing.
It didn't feel like a story, it felt like a mood. The concept and the characters are so gripping. This really was an emotional journey. I was already crying at 18%. I think I could see this as a movie. Kind of like that movie (book) A Walk to Remember but with fey.

Kin is beautiful, Inside and out. I thoroughly enjoyed his character and these two together. It felt like a slow burn, even though it really wasn't.

I can't really describe how this authors writing makes me feel, the way the words are constructed, it almost makes me feel nostalgic. It's my first Eli book and I would definitely read more by this author

Half wasn't like I expected and I'm not sure how to review it, because I really wanted to love it.

Eli Lang is a talented writer and I loved her writing style. I liked Luca and Kin, but they never swept me off my feet or made me forget my surroundings. Somehow I did not fall in love with the characters like I did with Eli Lang's world-building and writing. So this is what makes reviewing this book so hard. Half is so character-focused that you need to love the characters and care about them to be sucked into the story.

I would have loved to read more about the different kinds of fey. That really was my favourite part and especially Luca's sister Saben was intriguing.

But while I overall liked Half, I never got to the point where I was dying for Luca and Kin to work things out because I never felt like I really got to know them. That spark, that special something that made me love either of them was sadly missing. I will say though that I liked how the conflict was resolved. Anything else wouldn't have felt right.

To conclude: Half was enjoyable with great world-building, and I'll definitely pick up other books by this author. But this one wasn't quite for me.

In essence this is a book about the balance between love and acceptance, selflessness and selfishness.

It centers on Luca, who has a mystery illness that essentially means he has weak/dizzy spells, and coughs up blood. We don't really find out a lot about his illness, how it developed, or how he's been coping with it up until the start of the book.
The book quickly gets into him visiting the healer Kin that his father recommended, which is essentially his last hope after six years of not being able to find a cure. Kin and Luca end up falling for each other and start a relationship, which increases the stakes of finding a cure for Luca.

The relationship bordered on instalove a little bit too much for my taste, but it was sweet and the conflict over the possible cure for Luca also felt real.

Speaking of the cure, this book absolutely did not go where I thought it would. I'm not sure if I like where it went or not, but it definitely did surprise me. I kept expecting things to happen, but they never did, and it was a little refreshing to not entirely know where the story would go.

This is a story about family and relationships with the MC's illness being the vehicle to explore connecting and reconnecting with loved ones. Whilst the book may not have gone where I thought it would, or even where I may have wanted it to, it was definitely a refreshing and important look on the choices people can make.

I was provided a copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I am at a loss as to how to review this book. It turned out the be nothing like I was expecting. I am left with the question: What was the point of this story? I don't truly know the answer, but it's possible the point is a few things. Luca is able to reconnect with his Fey sister, Saben, after Luca has been away for years searching for a cure for his illness. He and Saben were very close when Saben was a little girl, but when Luca left, they grew apart, especially since Saben is fully Fey and Luca is half Fey, half human. Another possible point is that one should never give up on finding love, even when the situation seems hopeless - don't give up.

Kin is a healer and he meets with Luca to see if there is anything that can be done. That's a long story that I won't go into as you should read about it on your own (if you choose to read this book). Amidst all this, Kin and Luca fall in love and Luca and Saben reconnect.

This is a well written story, however I am still at a loss as to what it really is telling me. The ending made things no clearer. I gave it 3 stars because the book is technically better than a 2 star rating, however if I am to rate it strictly on the "story" and not the writing itself, it would be closer to 2 stars, and that's because I am left with all these questions!!!! So many questions. This is a different book than I am used to and I can't wrap my mind around it. I doubt this will leave you with the warm and squishy's (is that a word?) at the end.

Half is interesting, because it's not your typical happily ever after story. It poses a lot of questions about life, love, and relationships that truly make you think and consider what you would do if given the chance to live forever. There was a little ambiguity in regards to Luca's condition. It would have been interesting to learn more about that, but I understand it's not the main point of the story. Overall, great job. I look forward to more from this author.

For my reviewing style, the way I think, this is a hard book to review without spoilers but that’s what I’ll endeavour to do. If you are concerned at all, treat this review as a spoiler.

Luca is the sole narrator of Half, he’s ill and he’s finally come home after six years of travel to die, or to live his life, it depends on how you look at it. Apart from just seeing the world, as nineteen year olds are known to head off and do, Luca spent his time away trying to find a cure for what ails him but with no success. He also spent time away because he needed to extricate himself from the fey and their peculiar ways. He is half – the son of a human mother, who died before he left travelling, and a sidhe father, who is alive but the reader doesn’t get to meet. Luca grew up with his mother but spent some holidays with his father and his sister, Saben – same father but Saben’s mother is also fey. His father is the leader of the sidhe and to have a half child is not considered good form. As a result, Luca has never felt at peace in one world or the other. That his father does care in his way, that Luca did spend time with him, is big in the fey world because a half is usually a ‘secret’ or unaware they are half fey, living with their human parent, not being claimed by the fey parent and oblivious to the little quirks they may (or may not) have.

There’s some interesting concepts and world building in this book. Like a lot of books, the fey live longer than humans, but in this world the fey are allergic to/affected by iron. Iron is in a lot of different things in everyday life, so when the fey are trying to live among humans iron is unavoidable. Driving a car is impossible, travelling in one is too, or trying to make a cup of tea with a kettle – everyday activities for a lot of humans, all difficult and trying experiences for the fey. Because Luca is half human he can handle iron. He can drive. He can mix with humans without them knowing a thing, whereas full fey have an otherworldly feel and vibe about them and are somewhat neuro-atypical in communication style, even Luca is a little quirky in that regard at times.

The fey use Luca as a conduit to the human world, he runs errands for them – some metal may need removing from a stream, an older farmer may need his fields glamoured and some apples or fruit picked, some travel into town may be required to pick up goods, tools may need to be bought or used that only Luca can manage, an apartment may need to be gutted of iron. In return the fey pay Luca in food, coin and other goods. Oh, and the brownies bake the best pies and don’t expect much, if anything, they just like Luca. He lives in a house his mother left to him, so he doesn’t need a great deal and it’s better he live without the stress of a regular job, one that could be high pressure or complex in nature. The errands help him feel like he contributes, and while he may have tried to escape the fey for a while, even warded his house against them, there is a realisation that they are who he loves and feels the most at home and comfortable with.

This book is also very much about the relationship between Luca and his sister, Saben. It appears to Luca that their familial connection has been damaged by the time he spent away. How Luca feels about this, about Saben, who he now sees as regal, cool and aloof, truly a leader’s daughter, is unsettled and unsure. Furthermore, he can’t reconcile why Saben has moved into an apartment in town. Why she isn’t living in nature – away from fumes and iron and progress – where it’s easier for her to live. Their relationship is important and like the rest of the book, well developed and written. Okay, sometimes I wanted to tell Luca to get a clue about all his relationships but he is who he is, they are who they are, and understanding the dynamic of the people in this book is integral to being able to immerse yourself in this particular world.

Luca’s father sends Saben to let Luca know he has an errand for him this time. The errand is Luca himself. His father wants him to see a healer to help him with whatever is making him sick – think fey naturopath. Kin is also other, not fey but yokai/ningyo. Luca has seen the healer once before very briefly in a club, dancing with his scales visible and so beautiful – humans would see them as make-up or sequins but Luca knew better. From the very beginning Luca is interested but when he knows Kin is the healer he is inclined to be wary. But Kin is gentle, kind, he listens and is practical. He’s holistic in his healing approach, and he never promises anything. The rather cure-weary Luca likes Kin because he sees and hears Luca as a person first, not just an illness or a patient. It’s like Kin’s eyes can see into Luca’s soul. Things change, though, as Kin and Luca fall for one another – Luca not wanting to have someone in his life when it could be shortened. Kin wanting to give something to Luca, something that may be a cure and may well have significant… side effects.

Half is not heavily dialogue or epic fantasy driven – it’s more thoughts, interpersonal tactile actions, philosophical concepts, quiet little character nuances and development, ill health, love in numerous ways, and family. The writing is effortless and pretty, thought provoking and definitely loving. The tone is melancholy but hopeful, the ‘hopeful’ will largely be dependent on the individual reader’s thoughts and feelings. I have to bite down on more I’d like to say but I don’t want to taint the story.

Extras –

There is very little on-page sex, twice I can remember a coming together of mind and body between Luca and Kin, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. It was perfect, but if you prefer rampaging hormones and you need regular sexual activities you may well be disappointed.

This is a unique read, refreshing, just what I was looking for, with a different take on fey and the world. Thank goodness for new ideas and new writers who come armed with them.

I really like both of the MCs – Luca has a resilience and strength, a degree of understandable stubbornness within him. When Luca is ill, it is heartbreaking, but he doesn’t wallow. And Kin, Kin is someone special. Anyone who doesn’t allow illness to define someone, to get in the way of love, even when it can hurt, is wonderful in my mind. Kin is very calm and laconic for the most part, he allows his actions and support to speak volumes. He is the perfect healer. I can understand both aspects of what Luca and Kin face. Like Luca, Kin is half human however, he had two mothers. When Kin takes Luca to visit his remaining mother, it was pivotal and poignant.

Initially I didn’t know how I felt about Saben, but I liked her, she is strong and does what she does to show she cares for her brother in ways I won’t discuss.

There are a few areas in this book that could have been tightened up, I’ve deducted half a star. Yes, I would have liked something more concrete on Luca and Saben’s father, I could have done without some repetition – yes, Kin is beautiful and lean and lithe, I understand Luca is sorry – but at the end of the day, I don’t really care because I loved this story. I think this is the author’s first book, I could be wrong, but it’s a great way to start and I feel lucky to have read another fresh, new author. Welcome to the genre, Eli Lang.

Overview:

You have to know what you’re wanting when you decide to read Half. It isn’t flashy or grand, except in respect to life, because life’s pretty amazing and there’s some beauty to be found if you look. This book is not fast and snappy, it is deliberately paced, thoughtful, lovingly written with an eye for detail about chronic illness and those it affects, about acceptance of self and others. The narrative is gentle, lush, melancholy, offbeat, philosophical and gloriously poignant. It ripped a hole in my heart and broke me down on more than one occasion, I had to stop and compose myself because it hits very close to home. I cried. I felt a great deal of emotion and it made me think about some scenarios I prefer not to, but it also authenticated things I know to be true – that living for the moment, seizing the day and making little but personal memories are all unbelievably important. If you are up for it, love is a beautiful thing with the right person by your side, and they’re worth fighting for. Like other personal situations how you feel when you are ill trumps what others feel, although they deserve to be considered as well because it impacts everyone who loves you, not just the one.

It’s not easy for me to say who I’d recommend Half to. I guess I would recommend it to people who want a love story, as opposed to a romance – because there is a difference. One that uses unique and refreshing paranormal/fantasy themes to explore humanity, acceptance of who we are and what we have, and asks questions of us, making us listen and think. If you are unwell, have ever been unwell, or loved someone who is/was, Half should resonate with you. If you’ve ever said, “I’m sorry” your fair share of times for being sick or feeling bothersome to those you love, and you feel the need for acceptance and to belong but not at the cost of your independence, you’ll probably identify with Luca. If you’ve ever loved someone who is ill and at times felt useless, you’ll possibly identify with Kin, Saben and Riyad. Riyad, Luca’s friend and father figure… what a beautiful soul. I could read a story about his life.

Because I know romance readers need to know, the ending is not an unhappy one, but it’s not typical either – I can’t say any more. Just know that it fits within the framework of the story. Half is a fantasy book but at its heart beats a beautiful love story, one that transcends illness and worlds, and I loved it. That cover? Perfection. 4.5 Stars!

This is my review from Goodreads, which will be cross-posted to my blog in February (at which point I'll update with links).

This is a book about a terminally ill character who is half-fey and lives in a world populated at least as much by magic as by humanity. His theory is that his fey heritage and his human heritage are somehow incompatible, and that's why he's sick. After he's been getting worse and worse, his family insist he talks to this guy called Kin, who is a different kind of healer. This being on my 'canon queer characters' shelf, you can probably already see where this is going -- Kin can't heal him, but they do fall in love, so it works out on one level.

As someone who is chronically ill and keen on fairies, there was a lot that I enjoyed about this book. While my health problems are thankfully not killing me (just making being alive somewhat painful), I could definitely empathise with Luca on his bad pain days when he talked about his aching joints and reluctance to move. I also enjoyed the magical aspect of the book, although I have to admit, I found Lang's approach to fairies and so on to be very unlike a lot of the folklore I've read and seen used in other books, and as a result, it was a bit tricky to keep all the different types of fairies straight in my head or to follow what the various terms were being used to mean in this context.

(I know what <i>I</i> mean when I use the term 'sidhe', but I couldn't figure out what it meant for Lang: a distinction of species, or of class, or what? It was a bit hard to pin down, though that might've been because my pre-existing knowledge was getting in the way and meaning I came to it with my own ideas.)

I have to admit, though, that the book didn't quite do for me what I'd hoped it might do. I didn't find the writing as convincing as I might have hoped, particularly where the romance was concerned -- it was a little bit too much like instalove for me, and was treated by the narrative as a foregone conclusion, which made it hard to see how it developed, which made it feel less authentic than it might have done.

It was a similar case with Luca's sister Saben. This was a relationship I was really interested in and would have liked to explore more, but I felt too much of it happened before the book began and was only hinted at, meaning what remained felt incomplete. Along with the terminology issues I was having with the fey, I felt I spent most of the first half of the book scrambling to keep up and put together the pieces of everybody's backstory, which were crucial to understanding them. It might have made sense to start the story a little <i>earlier</i> so that as readers, we could see more of that rather than having to guess at it.

My main problem, though, was more personal. One of the major themes of the book is Luca facing a decision whether to take a potential cure that Kin offers him, without knowing whether or not it will work but in the knowledge that if it does, he'll be immortal. I have to admit, it's probably my youth speaking when I say in his position I wouldn't have spent half a book agonising about that decision.

I've written enough immortal characters to know it isn't all it's cracked up to be, but I also know that being in pain all the time and unable to live your life, knowing that every day you're stuck in bed is one fewer days to achieve your dreams, sucks. It really, really sucks. If someone told me they had a cure and by the way it might make me immortal but nobody actually knows because it's a legend... well, I'd take it. After all, it's not like Luca knew for sure what would happen. To me, it would be worth the risk. For me, it wouldn't even be about not dying young, it would 100% be about having better quality of life in the meantime. For a character to be in pain that was so familiar and not to take every step to change that was odd to me.

Although I could understand Luca's position to a certain extent, I found myself taking Kin's point of view, not for selfish "but I love you and don't want to lose you" reasons or ideological "you have a responsibility to preserve your life" or whatever reasons, but simply because being in pain isn't something I'd choose for a day longer than I had to. This made for quite a frustrating read at times, and meant any of the scenes where he started debating it with himself dragged somewhat.

I realise for readers who don't have chronic pain, it might be easier to see his point of view, but frankly I couldn't make sense of a character whose pain was so relatable and yet whose reaction to it wasn't. Like I said, I think it's my youth showing; I'm too aware of growing up faster than I'd like without hitting the milestones I'd hoped to because my health got in the way. If someone offered me not only the chance to get better, but also more time, I'd leap at it.

Finally, I felt like some of the prose wasn't all that strong. There were some lovely moments, but other parts could have been more polished. It wouldn't have mattered if the characters and plot had been strong, but I don't think it helped me get into the story when I was finding it difficult.

That said, I still really like the concept of this book, and the fact that it's very casual about the queerness of the characters (the main m/m relationship isn't the only one), as if this isn't even slightly a concern or question in this setting. Also, despite the premise of having a terminally ill character, it still makes it onto the 'unbury your queers' shelf, even if one doesn't feel that would last too long beyond the end of the book.

A 3.5* read, but only because I didn't understand the ending. Ended up frustrated and a little irritated, tbh.

This is a tale that I think, but am not sure, takes place in our time, on our earth; I say this because cars are mentioned, but no form of technology and nothing else to make me 'see' it. Despite this uncertainty, which did not at all affect the read, it was a decent enough tale, though as the title of my review mentioned, I didn't get the ending and I ended up frustrated, a little irritated and even a little annoyed.

The tale is essentially about a young half fae-half human, Luca, who's dying because his two halves are working against each other. Six years ago, his fae father urged him to try to find a cure, meaning that he left behind all that he loved and valued, and people he held dear, and he's now come home a stranger and even more sick.

He meets a part-Japanese, part-something (it wasn't really explained, but I think he was part of an animal/species that lives in water) guy, Kin, who may well hold the cure to his illness and they fall in love, and Kin both generously, and a little selfishly, offers Luca a partial cure...and the remainder of the tale is Luca contemplating and deciding if he can accept; if he can pay the price that it'll mean to him to accept.

I got to 95% of the tale and kept turning pages waiting for the big YES! moment, because I was sure that any moment I was going to get it, or a miracle that would mean that Luca wouldn't be beholden to Kin. Unfortunately, as I read the last page, and went back and re-read and re-read again, I didn't understand how it ended. I didn't know if Luca was dying, or cured, or what his lifespan might be. I wanted to know that they had a future, but the way the author ended the tale meant that I didn't know if they had one. It made me angry.

The 3.5* rating is for the author's decent writing, and had there been a little less filler and a more satisfying ending, this could have been a 5* read.

ARC courtesy of Riptide Publishing, for my reading pleasure.

Living between worlds has never been comfortable, but it’s where I’ve always fit: between human and fey, illness and health, magic and reality.

I’ve spent the last six years looking for a cure for the nameless sickness eating me up. If I believed there was one out there, I would keep searching. But there isn’t, so I’ve come back home, where my past and present tangle. Come home to live . . . and to die.

But my father insists I meet Kin. He’s a healer, and determined to help, even though I’m not so hopeful anymore. But Kin isn’t what I expected, in any way. He sees me, not my illness. He reminds me of what it’s like to be alive. And I can’t help falling for him, even though I know it isn’t fair to either of us.

Kin thinks he has the cure I’ve been looking for, but it’s a cure that will change everything: me, my life, my heart. If I refuse, I could lose Kin. But if I take it, I might lose myself.

Luca is half human, half fey. He is very sick and has been for quite some time. No one that he’s seen can figure out what is wrong with him. He’s convinced that the fey half of him is poisoning his human half. He doesn’t know how long he has to live so when he meets the healer, Kin, it’s a mixed blessing. He loves that he falls for him but he hates that he won’t be able to live a full lifetime with him.

Kin didn’t expect to like Luca when he told Luca’s father that he would check him out to see if he could heal him. He was very wrong about that and almost immediately fell for the man. The connection was obvious from minute one so he’s determined to find a solution that will keep Luca alive.

Kin tells Luca that he thinks he might have found a cure. It’s really a legend about his people, the ningyo (they are water people/fey and have scales). The legend says that if you eat one of a ningyo’s scales then you will be immortal. Now, Luca wants to find a cure and live a long, full, happy life but he’s not sure that he’s willing to become immortal. Kin’s not sure that the scale will work but if it does, what will that mean for Luca? Is he willing to take the chance?

This was such a good but sad story. It was a very evenly paced story – nothing too, too exciting happens during the course of the book, but almost from the start I was intrigued by Luca and Kin and couldn’t put the book down.

Luca had been gone for six years traveling all over the world trying to find a cure and also living. He had finally decided that he needed to be back home with those he loved because he realized there is no cure to what he has. While he was once close with his sister, Saben, who is wholly fey, they are now near strangers. Luca hadn’t contacted anyone in the time he was gone hoping that they would forget about him as he knew he wasn’t long for this world. That kind of shot him in the foot and the strain it put on the relationship with his sister was a big one. I loved watching Saben and Luca kind of dance around each other at first and then finally start to get to know one another again. You could tell that they loved each other but there was a lot of hurt on Saben’s side as she had looked up to him and he left her. She had felt abandoned. Luca didn’t really know how to cross the divide but they managed it by the end of the book and I felt they had reached a point that they could both be happy with.

The main part of the story was the relationship with Luca and Kin. It definitely wasn’t a typical romance as it happened very quickly but it was still really good and very emotional. The decision that Luca had to make about the scale really effected everyone. Kin, of course, didn’t want to lose Luca. Luca didn’t want to lose Kin either but he wasn’t sure that he could live forever and be a happy person. That thought, however, brought him back to the fact that he thought he’d do anything to find a cure and now here it is staring at him in the face and he wasn’t sure he wanted it. I can’t say I blamed Luca for his indecision. I’m not sure I’d want to live forever. I loved the tension that this brought to the relationship – it was written in a really great way. I also loved the way they talked things out in the end and loved each other enough to respect Luca’s decision.

The story was an emotional rollercoaster that had me turning page after page. I’m not a huge fan of first person POV as we don’t get to read everyone’s thoughts and only get things from one angle, but I thought the author did a great job conveying Kin’s POV through Luca. I definitely recommend this book but I’d say only read it when you truly want an emotional read. It’s a very good book but it’s not a light and airy story.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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