When I Am Through With You is a psychological thriller that leaves you wanting answers to the many choices that were made. Ben and his friends on a school camping trip encounter various obstacles that lead to a disturbing dark novel and death with a twisted plot and uncertain ending. You need to read Stephanie Kuehn.

Stephanie Kuehn plots a taut and troubling story. Her protagonist, Ben Gibson, is vile. He is sick both physically and spiritually, a multiple murderer by choice and emotionally flat-lined. He makes Hamlet or Loki look fluffy.
The backstory is a little hard to swallow but necessary for the dramatic tension. Yet, it's hard to put down When I Am Through with You. I didn't and I know I will still be thinking about it weeks from now. And I will look for her other work.

An excellent wordsmith, Kuehn can be almost painterly in her descriptions,. "The afternoon stretched, lingered and overstayed its welcome..."- a perfect description of an isolated Covid quarantined day.

If We Were Liars suited you, this one should be on your short list.

I did not finish this book, and will not be writing a formal review. It was just too dark and disturbing for me.

I never posted the text review for this:

I have very mixed feelings about this boo, which is about the result you want with a book like this for the most part.

On one hand, holy baskets, Ben, you poor baby. I desperately want to cuddle you in a blanket, give you some hot chocolate, and schedule you for the intensive therapy you really, really freaking need, you poor abused and neglected baby who tries and fails so hard. I really appreciated how complex his characterization was, and everyone's was. Because as much as I felt for him, I also had plenty of occasions of "Really, Ben, really? You're making *that* life choice," and "Dude, way to be a douche," so it wasn't just a mindless tragedy-jerker, either. Kudos to Kuehn for really presenting the "hey, I killed my girlfriend, and you'll see how I could do it from a psychological standpoint and believe it, yet you'll genuinely feel for me" story right. This was a hard needle to thread, and she did it really well.

On the other hand, I spent the last third of the book going, "When is the girlfriend going to die already? Commme onnn, do iitttt. There's like fifty ways you could've already killed her. What about that? That's a great way to kill her!" Then, I was shocked when I checked the page count towards the end and saw it was only 304 pages. I would've guessed it was at least a hundred pages longer. There are definitely some parts of the story that felt a little bulky to me, and while it was technically in the fast-paced range, it also kind of dragged in parts.

But, then again on that third mutant hand, the characterization was on point, probably partially because of those things.

tl;dr: In my heart, this is is probably more of a 3, but because of the characterization and technical, I'll do it as a 3.5 bumped up to 4.

P.S. for diversity representation, Ben has chronic migraines from a traumatic brain injury, and takes medications for it as well as deals with major obstacles because of it.

P.P.S. As much as I hated Ben's mother, I think I hated his bio dad almost equally, if not more. Wtf, jerkface.

For me personally I hate unreliable narrators and assholes and this book is just too full up with those things. But it was also well written and had lots of twists and interesting stuff going on so I could see many people (read: teenagers) enjoying it.

This was a super strange story. I never connected to any of the characters. They were all pretty unlikeable especially Ben. His hard life did not endear me to him because he was so nuts. No decision made by these characters made any sense. From the villains to smart kids. They all did competely non-sensical things that just led to my confusion. Also I kept feeling like this story was set outside the US despite it being set in California. The "orienteering club" and Ben's constant talk of the "states" totally lost me. Even the dramatic ending left me feeling unsatisfied.

A book about an unlikely group of high-schoolers on a camping trip with one of their teachers, when things go terribly wrong, due to their own over-the-top high schooler antics. This book was GOOD and I’m a little mad at myself that I didn’t get to it sooner. I went into it thinking it was going to be one type of story, before quickly learning it wasn’t that at all. I was addicted to getting through chapter after chapter. Then, I thought I had it figured out for sure. Nope, totally flipped the switch on me. I was invested in this story. There were moments that just seemed a little TOO convenient and unrealistic, that I couldn’t suspend my disbelief, but overall, great book. I am very interested in reading more from this author.

I enjoyed this book because of the adventurous setting; however, it makes me not want to go camping ever again. There were different subplots in this book, and I enjoyed the different characters. There was enough going on to hold my interest, and the beginning of the book definitely makes you want to keep reading. I would recommend this for high school students and above. It's a little too old for my middle school students.

This book was given to me in order for me to post an honest review.

In spite of his inexperience, Ben's teacher asks him to help out with the orienteering club. By October, the team is heading up a mountain for their first trip. Four days later, a few hike out. Some of them never will. And at least one of them is Ben's fault.

This isn't a tense, creepy thriller, but it's a thriller nonetheless. Some of it is teens being teens, but also teens being people with conflicting desires and needs and issues. Teens weighing their own desires against what they believe is love, or help, or codependency.

Worth a read, especially for fans of Into Thin Air or other mountain-survival stories.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Unreliable from the start, Ben tells the story of what happened on the mountain in his own way, on his own terms, and apparently from his prison cell. So begins Ben's story and how he got to be on the mountain to begin with.

Suffering from migraines and depression and being the only caregiver for his unwell mother, Ben feels trapped by his life in Teyber. He reconnects with former teacher Mr. Howe to help with the school's orienteering club.

Rose, Tomas, Avery, Duncan Strauss (pot), Clay Bernard, Archie DuPraw (wild),

THOUGHTS: Drinking, drug use, descriptions of causal sex, and violence make this a book for more mature teens.

When I am Through with You is a dark tale about how Ben comes to murder his girlfriend, Rose. The story reads as if from Ben’s journal but without the journaling format. As the story progresses, Ben develops into a thoroughly unlikeable narrator. I became increasingly frustrated with Ben’s choices as the events leading to the death of Rose unfolded.

At times this book was so shocking that I had to intentionally put it down. When I am Through with You is the type of story that will affect adults differently than its intended young adult audience. Particularly those of us that have worked with children and teens.

I found this book to be surprisingly free of cliche and naked with emotion.

The intrigue of the story was enough to keep me going, and was enjoyable whilst I was reading it. After finishing, however, it didn't really leave a lasting impression.

This novel had great potential to be a gateway for older boys to get into reading. It had tragedy, angst, outdoors, and fights, yet it was simply not put together well enough to make it exceptional. After finishing this novel I felt let down and disappointed.
Kuehn’s characters were well developed, with backstories and emotional ties to one another. The problem is that some of these traits are developed too late, or after they would have been useful to know. Example: When Ben meets the “preacher” he gives a side thought that this played against the man, rather than helped been trust him. I was confused until, a little while later, Ben reveals that his mother’s boyfriend was a very religious man.
The other drawback to this novel is that most of the situations are highly unlikely in a real-life situation. Who would take a number of teens on hiking trip all by himself (especially when most of them are apparently disturbed) and then leave them on their own for most of the trip (knowing full well that none of them have hiking experience)? If the reader can get past this giant stretch of the imagination, the story is intriguing and fast-paced.
This review sounds quite negative, but I did enjoy the conversations between characters and the general story line. I would still recommend this title to teens who live on drama and lean towards the more emotional storylines.

Suggested reading audience would be Grade 9+.
Fast paced read which I didn't want to put down.

That book went in a direction that I did not expect at all. Prepare to become emotionally involved and overwhelmed by these characters and their struggle for survival.

This is a dark story with a lot of twists in it. Themes of mental illness, relationships, and growing up permeate, and overall is very somber. The author injects the story with hope, but it doesn't last long. Still the end leaves the reader with some hope and the idea that forgiveness is possible.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley for an honest review.

Actual rating 3.5 stars. This is a hard one to review because the writing is wonderful and keeps you engaged through the whole story. There was feeling of impending doom that made it even more engaging and real.

However, a personal complaint are the character's are so infuriating. They just kept making bad decisions over and over. Also, here were some deeper emotional things going on toward the end that I just didn't really buy into and I wish the ending had expanded further.

Still a very strong story with a creepy atmosphere feel.

I was excited that I was okayed to read this book. It read really quick. I'm not sure how I feel about it, I thought a few parts really dragged out and it was a little hard to follow. I would have liked more information at the end regarding the person telling the story.

Ben Gibson was the joint leader of an expedition into the mountains. He is now in prison for murdering his girlfriend. This is the story of how one led to the other.

This novel has some excellent reviews and I thought from reading those that I would really enjoy it. I think it's a shame that I did read them really, because this is actually a perfectly good story - it just isn't as amazing as it is portrayed to be by some readers.

Ben himself is quite an interesting character but I struggled a lot with some of the others, particularly Rose and Tomas who I just found not very well described generally rather than the quirky I think they were supposed to be.

The story itself is really built up but in actuality, it's not very original at all and even sends itself up by referring to other (almost identical) stories within itself.

Sadly, I found the whole novel predictable and ultimately unsatisfying as the twist I was expecting just didn't materialise. Not one I would recommend.

Ben and Rose have been an item throughout high school, ever since she announced that she was his girlfriend. So the big question is why...why did Ben kill Rose. From his jail cell, Ben writes out the story of their high school camping trip, and how half of them did not make it back alive.

This was a well written and engaging novel. I was captivated by the characters and how they interacted with one another. The end, after Rose was killed and Ben was in jail, wasn't what I wanted or needed from the story, leaving the whole thing feeling a bit unsettle. However, sometimes that's how books end. Overall, a three out of five stars.