A devastatingly moving story about the day the author’s 9-year-old brother drowned on a Cornish beach, its immediate aftermath and the nearly 40 years since, during which the family had not spoken about it. Richard has only the vaguest memory of what sort of boy his brother was, his relationship with him and what happened that day. He starts to conduct a forensic examination of his brother’s belongings, documents such as school reports and diary jottings, and a sometimes brutal interrogation of everyone involved, in the hope of building a complete picture and in particular his part in it. He doesn’t pull his punches, especially with regard to his own ambivalence towards Nicky at the time and his deep-seated feeling of guilt. None of this makes for happy reading, especially given the family’s attempt to continue to give the surviving three sons the same kind of childhood they were enjoying up to that moment. Very well written, painstakingly honest and with great insight into the different ways different people process information and impressions, and build memories. Richard has created the most accurate picture he can of his brother Nicky for those who knew him and those who did not, the only thing he can do for him now and an undertaking of love. I hope Richard at least emerged from the experience of writing this memoir a calmer and more peaceful man.

Review copy courtesy of Random House UK, Vintage via NetGalley, many thanks.

I never quite got gripped by this book but plodded through it expecting to at some point. I can imagine that it was a quite cathartic experience for Richard Beard to write following his 9 year old brother Nicky drowning in 1978 when the family were on holiday in Cornwall. The Mum, Dad and remaining three brothers just didn't talk about the subject again until Richard decided that he wanted to know more about what happened so started investigating the incident when in his late 40s.

The book is basically Richard doing detailed research work to find anything about Nicky and the surrounding and conditions on that fateful 1978 day. This included finding family photos, Nicky's old school books and reports, talking to people who knew Nicky and who were there on the day. Also finding out about tides and the lifeboat rescue process. It was all quite detailed but didn't make for interesting reading to me.
I almost think that there's another book as to why such young boys were sent to Boarding School at age 7 or 8. In fact there are numerous books already on that subject and the damaging effects it had on many young children who carry mental scars into adulthood. It seems to be quite a common thing to do (thankfully less so in 2017) for families of upper-middle classes. I was also horrified to find that the family returned back to the same spot, and even the same beach, the evening of Nicky's funeral to finish their holiday. Even swimming off the same remote beach where Nicky drowned.

There is a lot of introspection in this book by Richard about the fact that he was in the water with Nicky when he drowned but didn't save him. And seemingly, no one else jumped in either to save him. That does make me sad as Richard is analysing the situation as an adult and not a child of 11. I do hope that researching and writing this book has given Richard and his family some peace. Although I did wonder how his mother had reacted to his writing as I am not sure that her or Richard's father (now deceased) come out in the best of light at times.

The Day That Went Missing by Richard Beard

I was incredibly moved by this book which in reality is like a cold case investigation – not only of the facts surrounding the death of Richard’s brother but also the in-depth analysis of how the family effectively erased Nicholas from consciousness. Clearly the death of a child is sad but what is even more heart-breaking is how the family coped with this event, and in particular Richard as it is he that conducts the investigation.

Richard does not spare himself neither does he chose to castigate or cast blame on others, he merely examines what facts he has, any tangible evidence he can find and any verbal witness statements from a wide, but limited range of people, including his family.

Through this forensic examination one hopes that Richard can find some resolution, some comfort because this self-analysis has given us a text which is unbelievably brave; well-written and insightful.

Thank you for an inspiring book Mr Beard.

Thank you NetGalley for providing an ARC of this book via my Kindle in return for an honest review.