Jen Waite had been in New York City pursuing her dream of becoming an actress for two years when she started working at a restaurant for extra cash. It was here that she met Marco Medina, a handsome Argentinian bar manager, and they fell head-over-heels in love. All the clichés: a green card, a successful business venture, a baby on the way, an idyllic wedding on the beach in Maine. And then the whole thing fell apart. “Marco was always an illusion; the best magic trick I’ve ever seen,” Waite marvels.

She’s written her story up like a thriller, a Gone Girl narrative of gradual revelations and the desire to get even. Chapters alternate between “Before,” when she still had what she thought was the perfect existence, and “After,” when she started to suspect that Marco had a secret life. I use the term “thriller” as a compliment: the dialogue is spot-on and this is a remarkably gripping book given that the title and blurb pretty much give the whole game away. More than that, it’s a fascinating psychological study of the personality of a sociopath and pathological liar. Surviving to tell her story and train to become a therapist for women who have been in her situation is Waite’s apt revenge.

I read this book in one sitting. It grabbed me from the first sentence. It was emotionally gut wrenching to read. The all too familiar emotions and scenarios were like flashbacks as I read. I found myself nodding so many times as the author experienced each cycle of feelings. Any woman who has been through a traumatic relationship needs to read this story. It is healing.

A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal by Jen Waite was provided to me for an honest review through netgalley. Thank you to all parties for letting me take part in this heartbreaking journey of love, lose, and rebuild. What would you do if the man you married turned out to be nothing like you thought he was. Every girl wants her dream guy and what Jen Waite got was a total nightmare with a side of sunshine in the form of a beautiful little girl. First off I love the setup of this book. The before and after headings made it extremely easy to fallow. You get to see how the romance started how the love bloomed and in the end how the whole thing falls to pieces. This story is one of love and lose where Jen did everything right thought she was living the perfect life only to have to start over. Although I have a background in psychology and have a very good understanding of the husbands disorder I find it really hard to find one redeeming quality in him. Although I understand sickness I don’t feel that anything positive will be done seeing as the husband does not wish to receive help. Over all I feel that this is an honest read that everyone can relate to in some cases even live through nicely done 5 stars all the way.

Jen Waite's marital memoir reads more like a psychological thriller. The chapters alternate between "before" and "after" she discovers an incriminating email that leads her to a path of discovery. "Before" chapters tell of the fairy tale romance, with some red flags about her husband that are obvious in hindsight; "after" chapters are the story of a mother of a newborn who is suspicious, lied to, and eventually crushed by the realization that she has fallen in love with a manipulator rather than her soulmate.

The alternating chapters help build the suspense and make this book extremely readable. That's a great compliment to the writing and editing because I was riveted throughout the book, but didn't end up feeling triumphant at the end. In fact, I felt a little uncomfortable after finishing the book. The description says that Waite discovered her husband was a "textbook psychopath", but as far as I can tell, this was her own diagnosis after her obsessive internet research in the fog of a broken heart. Psychopath is a pretty heavy label to throw around and publish about your child's father. I think that's the part I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around is - the book description and the tension-building way that the memoir is written feel a bit sensationalized when all is said and done. I found it entertaining and compelling, and I'd love to see the author try her hand at writing fiction. She really knows how to keep a reader invested in the story. It's impressive how easily she taps into the heat of the moment as she was sorting through all of her feelings. I've been through similar stages in my life and often we try so hard to forget these painful moments that it's hard to effectively describe our suffering after the fact. She does this beautifully as the reader suffers through her emotions with her through the good times and the bad.

I loved this book so much that I read it in a day! It was vulnerable, compelling, and even a little funny. Many times, I forgot it was a memoir. I specifically loved that the author went back and forth between the "Before" and "After". It kept things interesting - especially when the author started to realize when the affair started. While I hate that this happened to the author, I admire her honesty and her strength. This book is both heartbreaking and hopeful and I definitely recommend it!

Poignant, soul touching novel. I really enjoyed reading this book, 3ven though it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows....but life rarely is, and you see that here. It gives you quite a bit to ponder, maybe even teach you something about yourself as you read about a young mother whose life falls apart around her.

This book will tug at all the strings if you have any emotion and if you don't perhaps you'll fall in love with Marco. The book was well written and had a very good suspense hook especially for a memoir, however there could have been a bit less when 'researching'. I did feel like it made 'googling' seem like the thing to do instead of reaching out to medical professionals for proper diagnosis. Most adults know that the 'rabbit hole' of google will lead to bad things but there are new generations emerging that think that google is the end all and will take things into their own hands. (stepping off my soap box now)But this book is worth the read if you are the kind of reader that likes to peek behind the curtains into other peoples houses. I feel for Jen and wish her all the best in her future and think she should consider writing fiction because she can hook a reader in quickly and keep them on the line til the very last page.

I was a bit disappointed by this book. I expected a lot more from it. I expected there to be a lot more to Marcos behaviour. Jen decides that Marco fits the definition of a psychopath but I would have liked to know more about his behaviour. I could not empathise with Jen. I would have liked to understand her a bit better.

Psychopaths.
They say that one in 100 of us is one. Not necessarily grandly evil or murderous in the Hannibál Lector sense, we know now that the common-or-garden psychopath is nevertheless bad news to those of us who has ever been burnt by one. Jen Waite's story describes how she got burnt.

She meets and Marries Marco of smouldering Latin charm, convinced that he is The One, so site is she that this is Real Love. Friends and family warn her that Marco does seem to have a chequered emotional past. And he is an illegal alién. Unperturbed she sorts out his papers for him and makes friends with ex wives and children. She pours her life savings into his business. After all, this is True Love.

The fairytale marriage flounders soon after she has her first child. Unaccountably he withdraws his love from her. There are hints her post-partum body is no longer attractive. He must be burnt out, he must be sick. Perhaps more.vitamins are.the answer.But then there are hints that the perfect partner has a new lover......

What Waite is best is portraying the very peculiar kind of emotional damage that ensues once thus type of individual dpes move onto someone more useful to them. That someone so apparently empathetic, who seemed to put their partner on a pedastal can then discard them along wit the rest of.that week's trash.

How Jen deals with.this situation is something the reader.will have to.discover for themselves.

This story is delivered in the voice of someone who perhaps.embarked. on this as therapy in part: fairly or unfairly I would. like to have seen a little more detachment somehow. However I certaonly would wholeheartedly recommend this to anyone who may still be.coming to.grips with what happened to.them. Other than the therapeutic element this tale.does. come with the warning.that as an individual with something missing, even weaker individuals on this nice.little.spectrum - sociopath, malignant narcissist, or.whatever other epithet comes to. mind, these people are.always potentially dangerous. Legal.advice, protecting self and interests and other family members.must come.first in cases like these.

This honest and raw memoir really does read more like a psychological thriller in the fact that it goes back and forth in time, showing how their love story progressed until Jen finds out the truth about her husband. The whole time I was reading this, I was thinking the words narcissistic sociopath in my head! I felt very empathetic for Jen, but she does a great job laying it all out there. How much she loved her husband, how he basically fooled everyone with his charm, how she even seemed a bit paranoid about her accusations! At times I wondered if she didn't have a bit of post partum depression as well - but I just can't imagine having your world turned upside down like that, days after giving birth! It definitely takes a lot of guts to share such a personal story! Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this ARC!

This book is why people have trust issues. Jen goes from being on cloud 9 thinking she found her soulmate, when her life takes a dramatic turn, due to infidelity and lies. I really felt for the main character and if you've ever been cheated on or lied to by a significant other this book hurts.
The ending wasn't great although realistic; but then again after all the pain this poor lady goes through I'm not sure how you end this book another way.

BROOKE’S REVIEW

Jen Waite’s A Beautiful, Terrible Thing is a memoir about marriage and betrayal. Through the pages of the memoir, the reader travels through the early phases of Jen’s relationship with her husband Marco into her burgeoning discovery of his adultery, betrayal, and eventually psychopathy.

From the onset of the book, it is clear that Marco will devastate Jen. He will tear her world apart. His charm is a mere mask for his lack of empathy and a true ability to love. Jen writes alternating chapters that toggle between “before” and “after.” This is before she knows about Marco’s betrayals and after.

While incredibly well-written, the non-sequential approach to this book proved frustrating to this reader. I felt like I knew the ending of the book from the start, and I just wanted to get to the plot’s exposition. It was hard to read into elements of their “love story” in between episodes of Marco’s gaslighting. I understand that the attempt was to try and show the clues that Jen may have missed, but it just fell a bit short to me. Still, a strong effort overall and a fascinating story for readers interested in stories of women overcoming adversity or anyone who has come out of a destructive relationship (or wants to).

PRAISE

“Like Big Little Lies, A Beautiful Terrible Thing is a startling reminder that fairy tales aren’t real. A master class in suspenseful storytelling, Jen Waite recounts the lies, betrayals, and infidelity she endured with unrestrained honesty and deft candor. I couldn’t turn away.”
—Jillian Lauren, New York Times bestselling author of Some Girls: My Life in a Harem and Everything You Ever Wanted

“How do we really know the ones we love? Sometimes we don’t, and in Jen Waite’s harrowing, deeply intimate memoir, she gradually comes to discover that the husband she adores might actually be a sociopath. As raw and ragged as the edge of a blade, what makes this book so chilling is that it’s truly possible to fall in love with evil, and it can happen to anyone. Be forewarned: you won’t sleep until you finish the last page.”
—Caroline Leavitt, author of Cruel Beautiful World and the New York Times bestsellers, Pictures of You and Is This Tomorrow

“Gripping from start to finish. A compelling and cautionary tale about how the longing to be adored and live inside a fairy tale makes you vulnerable to those charming sociopaths in search of someone to exploit.”
—Joe Burgo, PhD, author of The Narcissist You Know

AUTHOR

Jen Waite lives in Maine with her young daughter. She is applying to graduate school to become a licensed therapist, specializing in recovery from psychopathic relationships.

"Now I know why sociopaths are dubbed "human heroin." I have been shooting pure, unadulterated psychopathic love into my bloodstream for five years. I am coming down from a drug I didn't even know I was on, and the withdrawal has knocked me on my f**king ass."

Since reading Jon Ronson's The Psychopath Test, I've been curious about how the everyday, non-violent, non-criminal sociopaths who make up a disproportionate number of CEOs and politicians function in marriage. What do they look for in a spouse? Does the spouse know they're married to a sociopath? Can their marriage function?

In her memoir of her marriage and separation from a sociopath, Jen Waite performs a kind of magic trick. Waite employs the device of letting the story unfold from two perspectives: one set in the past as her relationship begins and develops, and one set in the present day. As the narrative unfolds, the past catches up to the present and the two perspectives converge.

Initially, something felt a little shallow in Waite's description of her relationship with her husband and her feelings toward him, from both her past and present perspectives. While there is a lot of affection and proclamations of love, something was missing: true introspection and intimacy. At first, I chalked this up to a fault in the writing and found myself questioning her memories of their relationship. Is this just a woman who wants to believe her husband is pathological? This is Waite's magic trick: by choosing to write from her past perspective without the benefit of the perspective she later gains, we are gaslit right along with her.

Then Waite's confirmation and acceptance that Marco is a sociopath comes and - WHAM - the writing style from both perspectives shifts to become more introspective and observant. This allows Waite's narrative to keep building momentum and lets us to experience her betrayal as she did - first from a place of questioning and uncertainty, then from a rawer, realer place of reckoning.

Thanks to Penguin group for supplying me with an ARC via Netgalley :)

A Beautiful Terrible Thing is the title of author Jen Waite’s compelling new memoir, and accurate description of her five year marriage to Marco. Originally in the US illegally from Argentina, Marco was already in a relationship, and had a young son by a different woman, when they met at work. Marco was loving, charming and swept her off her in a whirlwind romance. Marco’s was her best friend and soul mate, they never fought or argued. After the birth of their daughter the illusion of her perfect marriage shattered when she found an email he had written to his 22 year old mistress.

Marco, the service manager of a busy restaurant, always had reasons and explanations to cover his tracks. All lies. Caring for a fussy newborn was stressful enough: Waite hysterically threw her clothes into a suitcase, and fled with her baby from her and Marco’s apartment in NYC, to her parent’s home in Maine. It seemed that she was making a snap judgment she might later regret. Eventually, with the help of her parents, who had insight and correctly figured the situation out, she would boldly move forward with her life.

It was when she was in therapy, she learned about narcissism and the psychopathic personality. Marco continued to “love bomb” her-- that is turning on his charm, love, and attention to win her back. Others came forward and shared some very unpleasant and disturbing news about her husband’s philandering; (since she and Marco’s were separated) it was assumed she was strong enough to hear the truth. Waite learned she only saw and believed what she wanted too, the “red flags” were there all along. It was terribly painful for her to examine the “before” and “after” details of their marriage, realizing Marco would never feel any remorse for the intense pain and agony she had suffered.
Waite is to be commended for sharing her true story for the benefit of others. ~ With thanks to Penguin Random House via NetGalley for the direct e-copy for the purpose of review.

2 stars

When you let yourself think that you are only worth what others see in you, then you will end up as the author of this autobiography has. She placed herself and immersed herself do much in Marco, a three time failure in his relationships with women. Letting one become so enraptured that you do not even see human weakness set Ms Waite up for what Marco did and what he was.

Marco was a sociopath and he preyed on women as he searched their flaws and weaknesses. He became in their minds the do all and end all of everything and the women, so many of them, fell so easily into the lair he set. Ms Waite kept on failing to notice that what was happening was emotional abuse. She kept on making excuses in her mind for why Marco did things that to others were blatantly evident of infidelities, of lies, of usage.

One does feel for the author. She was a product of what seemed to be wealthy parents. They did care for her and provide a security net, but sometimes that net did more harm than good. She was fortunate having them there at every turn. Many others going through the same turmoil had no one.

What bothered me about this novel was the weakness of this woman. She seemed to believe she was nothing without Marco, a man who humiliated, cheated on, and so disrespected her that he cheated on her while she laid in the hospital having his child. Yet, even then, she agonized over leaving him. Perhaps I just do not understand how a woman of today's world does that. However, that being said I was happy to see that she was in counseling. Hopefully, in years to come, through therapy she will come to see her own intrinsic value lies within herself not any man.

Well if this book didn't sum up my ex!!! Wow! Great book and left me wanting more! Loved it!

A Beautiful Terrible Thing
I wish I could say I loved this book, but it was a miss for me. I didn't feel connected to the characters. I wish Jen would of opened her eyes sooner, but I know love is blind. And in her case, severely blind. Marco is the worst. I'm so glad his paper time was short. This is a book about surviving the most brutal betrayal. I do wish we got more in the end. An epilogue at least. I think Jen says it better, Marco was her drug and she would do anything to keep the high. And she did for a long while.

Well told memoire that was heart wrenching and honest. Easy to read and hard to put down. Was relatable to anyone who has experienced betrayal from a partner. Jen does a nice job in telling a story but also educating the reader on psychopathology. What her exhusband did to her during the early months after giving birth to their first baby was shocking and offensive. It brought up memories of early motherhood for me and I couldn't imagine having to go through an experience such as this while in the throes of dealing with a colicky baby! Kudos to her to write about it and hopefully spare another person from the same fate.

This book was so good!! The Author dealt with a lying, cheating husband! The way it was written I felt I was there. I seriously stayed up all night reading this book. Highly, highly recommend!

I loved this book. I started it on a Friday night and just about ignored my entire family all day Saturday until I had finished it. Well done!