When I first picked this book up, I thought it would a fluffy, possibly steamy read. That didn't turn out to be the case at all. Don't get me wrong, it starts out more on the light and feel-good side, but quickly I realized that there was more to the story than the premise implies. Audra, our heroine, received a life saving heart transplant two years before and suddenly the world is open to limitless possibilities. She no longer has to live one day at a time, just clinging to hope and a promise of a real future. Unfortunately, it came at the cost of her heart donor Emily's life and the guilt that comes along with that isn't easy to let go of. So she reaches out to Emily's brother Jake with a plan to enlist his help and come to peace with her gift.

Audra and Jake meet and make a plan to re-create his sister's photographs in order for Audra to "walk in her shoes" through her experiences. At first, I was seeing this solely as a healing process for the two of them while they developed feelings for one another. Simple, cut and dry. Well, I discovered that this was heading down a little bit of a darker path. Jake was moody, broody, and not very communicative. There were brief flashes from him, he'd give her a little bit of himself and then retreat all over again. He offers to give her piano lessons, and then eventually stands her up when their feelings start to blur past friendship. There is clearly something in his past that he's hiding, something that he's unwilling to share that's making him feel incapable of offering Audra love.

Audra is crushing hard on him, but their relationship is filled with secrets and complications. I enjoyed her at first, I thought she was a little bit awkward and sweet and her idea to honor Emily was commendable. But later, she started behaving...I don't know what else to call it but immature. First with her peeking at his very private journal and then hiding that fact. On one hand, I understand that he's not exactly being open with why he's keeping his distance, but that was such an invasion. What she discovered was more than a little disturbing, and she just somehow told herself to brush it under the rug as well. 

But worse, when he finally does open up to her, she goes behind his back once again and uses the confidence he gave her to start snooping in the mystery surrounding his family.This is where things started to go a little OTT for my taste. I'm not going to go into what occurs after this, but what happens with his family was really out of left field. And I didn't feel as if anything was explained or resolved conclusively.  I think the premise was a promising one, and I liked that it led me in a different direction than I anticipated. It was unpredictable. The writing was engaging and the characters dealt with serious life and death issues, some were addressed with delicacy. For example, the unexpected tragic twist with Audra around the middle of the book I really appreciated. Her emotions and reactions felt genuine and were emotionally complex. But when it came to Jake's history, and how that story arc unfolded, that's where it lost me. 

I admire this author's writing and I'd definitely give a different book of hers a chance, but I think that all the pieces of this one didn't quite fit right for me. It's hard, because there really was a lot I liked here, just not consistently. If you're looking for a New Adult book with mystery, and a tortured, brooding hero then this could very well be the book for you. There were lighthearted moments, as well as introspective and emotional. I'll be keeping my eye on this author in the future.

My Review:
Seriously? How can this possibly be a debut novel for this author? This book was BRILLIANT! OMG, there is so much depth and thought to this story. It completely and totally blew me away. In fact, I'm buying a print copy of the book because I want to re-read and just pull out the plethora of incredible quotes that are in this book. Plus did you see that cover? So gorgeous!

So...enough gushing. Let's talk about this story. The premise is incredible. If you haven't done so...read that story description and let me guarantee you...it lives up to the promise of that storyline. There's a ton of emotion to this story, but you'd expect that from the premise, but the author took it even deeper. She did an amazing job with this one.

This book is all about life and death and living to our full potential with the moments we have...because you never know when they're going to end. There is a lot more than just Audra's physical condition. There are so many other stories happening alongside her condition with Emily's heart and Emily's brother, Jake. I loved it all so, so much. 

And that's before we get to Audra and Jake, both of whom have really difficult emotional scars from what they've been through. Jake, especially, is really closed off...but it's a long time into the story before all the details of that are all revealed. I had ideas of what was coming, but I didn't expect the depth of just what all the details are. It was really fabulous. But when they're together, it's magical. I loved the scenes where they were recreating Emily's done-it list. But the scenes at the piano were breathtaking too. So many scenes in this book that just took my breath away. It really was a beautiful, deep book that I can't wait to read it again.

I highly, highly, highly recommend this one. If that storyline appeals to you at all, you're going to like it. The author has such an incredible voice. I loved every minute of reading this one. Go...buy it right now. You don't want to miss this one!

I received a complimentary copy of this book in return for an honest review.

The Heartbeat Hypothesis by Lindsey Frydman
4.5 stars!!!

“Our hearts have been friends for a very long time.”

The Heartbeat Hypothesis is the debut book of Lindsey Frydman and what a debut. As soon as I started reading this book I clicked with the story and the voice of the author, I then had to go back and check that this was in fact a debut and that is the biggest compliment. This story just flowed with ease, I was immediately transported into this NA gem and the author held me emotionally captive until the very end. Reading this book was effortless, emotional, captivating and I loved every single second.

“Everything is finite, isn’t it?
“Nothing lasts forever.”

When I have read “transplant” books in the past, more often than not the focus is always on the recipient and you never really hear much about the donor or the donor’ family. More often, never the twain shall meet, but sometimes they do keep in touch and The Heartbeat Hypothesis is not only a celebration of the life of the recipient but also that of the life of the donor. This side of the story was emotional for me, a life captured through pictures and yet I felt like I knew her and that is testament to the author.

“Sometimes grief is the price you pay for love.”

Audra was the lucky recipient of a heart at the expense of a young woman called Emily. Audra had reached out to Emily’s family and they had responded. Because of this she found out that Emily’s brother was at the same University as her and his name was Jake. Audra had also looked for any information regarding Emily, she wanted to know more about the heart that was beating inside her and because of her delving she came across Emily’s Instagram page. Emily’s Instagram was covered in whacky photo’s or random exploits that really brought her bubbly personality to life or were they just a front…a mask? These photos were taken by #MyFavoritePhotographerJake and were named her done-it list. 

“Nothing in life is permanent. All of it will eventually disappear…Maybe we’re supposed to know that…accept it, and live our lives differently because of it. Rearrange our priorities based on the finite number of heartbeats we have left.”

Audra decided that she wanted to recreate Emily’s done-it’s as a kind of homage to the woman that had a given her life and it is here that Jake and Audra meet.

“And on bad days, when his aura of sadness blazed like an alarm he couldn’t turn off, I felt like I was doing everything wrong.”

Jake was a conundrum, one minute he was friendly, next he was detached, then he was curious, then he distanced himself. It was like someone was switching a light on and off constantly and you never knew what “Jake” was going to turn up. I was torn between his grief and him being uncomfortable knowing that his sisters heart was beating in the woman in front of him to him just being confused, insecure and hiding something. It was this raw honesty in Jake as a character that made him all the more intriguing. I was desperate to know the man underneath and I loved the way that Lindsey Frydman slowly lets us in.

“I thought I knew what loneliness was…But you can’t know lonely until you’ve lived the opposite.”

This is a story that will tug at every single heart string, from budding friendship to best friends, to grief, to guilt, to learning to move on from the past and embrace a future you never imagined you deserved. A book that has honest, real and relatable characters even if their lives are anything but. Lindsey Frydman delivered an exceptional read as a debut, a little towards the end I felt some plot lines were a little rushed hence the 0.5 deduction, but apart from that, this was a perfect read for me. I loved everything about it.

www.theromancecover.com

Book given in exchange of an honest review on Netgalley.

This was not the book I was expecting, and I don't mean it in a bad way. I was expecting a cute love story, where a girl fell for this sexy photographer (with an amazing back...yes the cover got me), but I got a much deeper story.
Audra's life hasn't been easy,and she now has a second chance, but she still has some heartbreaks in her future. 

A girl with a borrowed heart that tries to find meaning in life and unexpectedly she finds it with Jake.

He is broken too and together they find a little place where happiness is possible. But life is not that easy and they have to overcome their problems in order to move forward.

Jake was a peculiar character, full of mystery and unpredictable reactions. Even when we get to know everything about him, he was still unknown in some ways.
It's hard to explain, but I felt like he had so much more to tell, like we had a lot more to explore about his personality.

Overall, a beautiful yet sad story about loss, love, life and death and how everyone is connected. About embracing every moment like it was your last because you never know when it will be.

The heartbeat Hypothesis is such a romantic theory, she saw it as an explanation of why she was given a second chance and a incentive to live her borrowed heartbeats to the max. 
I though about it in a different way. I imagined making a choice of living a calm life and not spending your heartbeats too fast and live longer; or experiencing everything you ever wanted and maybe having a shorter but more fulfilled and happy life. 

It's a tough choice, most of us live hanging between the balance but there are some who live on either side.

I found this to be a really sweet and honest read. Often I felt like there was something missing from the story, something more I wanted either from the plot or the characters I'm not sure. I had some issues with Audra in the beginning as I felt her voice was a little too immature but it grew as her character did throughout the story. I liked how the plot was handled, it was very well written. I enjoyed the situation with Kate and how it wasn't just a pseudo-serious thing to shake up the plot, she wasn't in the accident and all better. Her death really impacted Audra and her journey throughout the remainder of the story. 

Overall an enjoyable read I would recommend.

I LOVED this book! It was everything that I love in a book - a realistic romantic timeline, a great supporting cast, surprises, and a protagonist that I loved. 

What would you do if you had someone else's heart... not figuratively - you literally had a life saving heart transplant at the age of 16? Audra Madison was born with a hole in her heart - she always knew that, barring some miracle, her heart had a finite number of beats. However, when she is 16 she receives that miracle from a 17-year-old organ donor named Emily Cavanaugh. Two years after the transplant, Audra is a freshman in college and decides its time to do something to honor Emily - but it requires the assistance of Emily's brother, Jake. Needless to say, Audra has a very interesting freshman year.

The main character, Audra, was great, I really enjoyed reading the story from her perspective.  I really thought that Audra had a great view on life, and while she knew she should honor the reason she was alive she didn't let it dictate her entire life, she wasn't trying to be another person. I also found her quite funny, and at times found myself snickering at her inner-dialogue. 

I also really loved her roommate/best friend Kat; in a word, she was wonderful. She pushed her friend outside of her comfort zone, but didn't do it to an extreme, she was always on Audra's side and would only make her do things that were in her best interest. 

And now Jake Cavanaugh. Jake Cavanaugh was complicated, I really would have liked to know what was going on in his head. Jake had a very tough life, topped off by losing his sister so early in her life. His actions will make you laugh, sigh, and cry. I felt like some points of his life could have been more thoroughly explored/explained. 

Grab a few tissues because from about 50% on you will need them. A lot happens in Audra's life throughout the book, but she comes out in the end a better, stronger person because of it. This was a really great read, and I highly recommend it.

* Reviewed by CM McCoy for North of Normal Book Reviews

Everything I want in an aching romance!

THE HEARTBEAT HYPOTHESIS is a page-turning New Adult sweet romance by debut author Lindsey Frydman. I've known this book since it was a manuscript, and I instantly fell in love with it!

Jake may or may not help Audra honor the organ donor who gave her a new lease on life. It's a tough call, since he's still grieving his beloved little sister's untimely death...and since his dead sister's heart is now beating inside Audra's chest.

This is an angsty, beautifully painful, push-and-pull love story told in first-person, past tense with an ugly-cry happily(?) ever after. Heart transplant recipient and university freshman Audra takes nothing for granted and is determined to live every heartbeat to its fullest. For starters, she'll tackle her heart donor's Done-It list, a photographic journal chronicling a life lived to the fullest. Enter Jake--a photographer. THE photographer. Also, he's her donor's reclusive, reluctant, bad-boy brother...

There's so much I love about this book! The 3-day lump in my throat was a little painful, but I did enjoy wondering if I was living every one of my heartbeats to the fullest. Also, I updated my bucket list, and instead of simply checking things off, I started a done-it list (it's here--scroll down to the Done-It List). All because of this book.

Audra is a super-likeable, charmingly nerdy university freshman who grows wonderfully through her journey past her expiration date. Jake is the perfectly distant, damaged goods. Frydman writes with a sure hand and an authentic millennial voice. Veteran romance novelists better look out! This debut author puts some big names in romance to shame with this stunning debut.

The romance in this book is sweet. The heartache is real. The cry is ugly.

Fans of Colleen Hoover and Nora Roberts will devour this fresh and emotional romance. This book is appropriate for ages 15 and up.

THE HEARTBEAT HYPOTHESIS earns 5 North of Normal stars!

WOW! I just adored this story. It was heart-breaking, totally captivating, and emotional. 

I loved the circumstances, their finding each other, their support, and their need for each other even if they didn't know they needed each other. 

A few topics were glazed over which was a little frustrating, but it ended up working just find for the story. But I still have questions! 

This lovely NA romance was amazing.

I couldn't finish the book.....I TRIED GOD I TRIED SO HARD but the actually story didn't live up to the description. I thought the idea was really amazing, and if it was carried out better it could've gotten 5 stars from me

A tragic and heartwarming story!
The Heartbeat Hypothesis by Lindsay Frydman, a standalone NA romance
I chose to read The Heartbeat Hypothesis because the excerpt sounded amazing. I’ll be honest, the cover didn’t hurt anything either! 
Audra was born with a hole in her heart. When she turned 16, she was lucky enough to find a matching donor and she was given a heart transplant. Two years later, she is in college and living a fairly normal life. But Audra wants to know Emily, the girl who once owned her heart. She begins stalking her Instagram page and sees that Emily had created a list of things she had done. She had each “done-it” photographed and she posted the beautiful pictures. Audra wanted to recreate her list as a tribute to Emily and gets in touch with the photographer, Emily’s brother Jake. Tragedy brings Audra and Jake closer together but it may also tear them apart. 
This story was beautifully written. The characters were complex and realistic. Many of Audra’s reactions to the events in her life were similar to what my own would be. The story goes in a direction I did not anticipate and it was refreshing that it was not predictable. Although some tissues were required, I never had a moment when I wanted to stop reading.  
Although there are some adult themes, this story could be read by a younger audience. This will become a favorite of those who enjoy Colleen Hoover and Mia Sheridan. 
I give this book 4.5 stars. I will be looking to get this on paperback as soon as I can.
I reviewed this book for the Just North Of Normal blog.     www.cmmcoy.com/blog

The Heartbeat Hypothesis was one of the best New Adult books I have read all year. The storyline was original and not just a kid friendly version. Frydman is not afraid to take the reader on an emotional journey. Really wonderful book. I've already purchased a copy for my library.

Certainly a unique story. Good overall writing. Kept me interested.

**I received a copy of Heartbeat Hypothesis from Net Galley and Entangled Publishing in exchange for a voluntary and honest review**
The Heartbeat Hypothesis by Lindsey Frydman is the author's debut novel and after reading this story I have to say that it was a great first novel. It did drag a big in the middle but what novel doesn't?(within reason)I would give the book a 4.8 stars for her first effort Jake did have issues with his parents but having finished the book he turn out to be a well adjusted adult.

What would you do if in order to keep living you needed a heart transplant? Would you want to know who was the donor or approach the donors brother with a request no matter how odd it would be? Audra Madison received a heart transplant from a young girl and when given the option to know who the donor was she decided that she did want to know and sent a letter with a request, she would like to complete the her "Done it list" on Instagram. Audra finds out that her brother is at the same college that she just started attending and approaches Jake with a request to not only finish the list but name it "Cheez its". Will he accept her request? What if she decides to attend a memorial for his sister and it causes not only bad memories for Jake's parents? How would you feel? or better yet would you even want to know the donor or their family? Its a tough question and The Heartbeat Hypothesis deals with the tragedy of the loss of a young life but how Audra and Jake seem to be destined to find each other and help each other grieve and move on with their lives. There is another side story with Audra's best friend, Kat and how it effects her when a death occurs and how she deals with the grief.

Jake Cavanaugh misses his sister terribly and as a junior majoring in Photography he encouraged Emily to do a bucket list of sorts with him taking the photos. When he is contacted by the recipient of her heart, he doesn't know what to think but he goes ahead with the meeting with Audra. Everyone has a skeleton in the closet but its his family who deals with emotions by medicating themselves and he also feels that he somehow let Emily down when he went to college leaving her at home. Little does he know but somehow his sister decides to figure out how to get Audra and Jake together using her "Done it" list. It will take everything he has to redo her list with Audra but it will help both grieve and move on to explore if they can have a relationship with both memories and making new ones for themselves.

You'll need a few tissues for the ending but all in all it was a great debut novel and I look forward to new books by Ms. Frydman.

I won't lie, the cover caught my interest with this book the most. I love photography and I was I excited to see how the author wound that theme into the main plot of this book. 

In general The Heartbeat Hypothesis was a good read. It had a steady pace that built slowly and Audra and Jake's friendship was given time to grow and develop. In essence it was a gentle read about two characters coming to terms with past events in their own lives and learning to live with the help of the other. 

I will admit I did expect it to be a bit more emotional than I found it to be. For some reason I expected a few tear jerking moments, but there wasn't. I also thought it ended rather abruptly. The book seemed to go off on a tangent and to get back to its original meaning it had to be sped up. While it answered all questions and tied everything together satisfactorily, I would have liked the easy pace to have continued until the end. 

Overall, for a debut book it was good. I might have gone in expecting more, but it was an easy read that was more about friendship developing than romance. It was a nice change from the usual romances I read.

Audra Madison knows she's lucky to have gotten a second chance at life when she received Emily Cavanaugh's heart. Now she's determined not to let anything stand in her way of living life to the fullest and creating memories that Emily should have been experiencing. But first she needs someone to chronicle her journey and there's no one she'd rather want by her side than Jake Cavanaugh. He's a photographer and just happens to be Emily's brother. But when secrets from the past start to unravel and Audra finds herself unable to stop from wanting to help Jake discover the truth of what happened to his sister once and for all, will she lose the man she's falling in love with?

I'm not usually one to read New Adult Romance unless I really like the blurb, which I did for this book, so I'm glad I chose to read it as it was a delightful read full of plot twists that made me sympathize with everything Audra goes through that shows her life's too short. Right from the beginning, this story immediately drew me in because of what the heroine is going through and what she wants to do to honor the life of the teenage girl whose heart Audra ended up with to save her life. 

The dialogue was intense due to the heroine's back story, believing she was going to die until she received a heart transplant. However, it was plot twists in what happens to Audra and what happens to the heroine's best friend that made this story a real page turner for me, even if they did make me cry. How much does the heroine have to endure before she finds happiness? Will she be able to help Jake overcome his past by finding the truth of what happened to his sister? Yet, there were also some light-hearted moments throughout this story that made me smile. Audra is good for Jake. She's the one person he can completely open up to about his past, which was needed to help him heal.

Both Audra and Jake were fantastic characters, and I loved every moment they conversed whether Jake was being friendly towards the heroine or whether he was being a complete jerk. Audra is strong and brave when it comes to everything she goes through and I liked that she didn't give up on Jake in the moments where he tried to push her away, because he believed he wasn't good enough to be her friend let alone anything else. Indeed, she's a fighter when it comes to her condition, dealing with her grief and showing Jake that he's not alone. That she's there for him, if he'll let her in. While Jake, he's been through so much and losing his sister was hard. He hasn't dealt with his grief and has closed himself off from getting close to people, yet Audra manages to break through his walls. And really, I was cheering for her every step of the way because Jake needed her.  

Overall, Ms. Frydman has penned a fantastic read in this debut book, which was filled with plenty of emotion that I felt along with the characters, especially the heroine. The way this story ended had me worried due to Jake's reaction to what Audra does when it comes to trying to find the answers he wants, but I was glad he made things right between them. Besides, what Audra did and what it led to helped him find some peace to his past in the end, which he desperately needed and deserved because of what he believed really happened to his sister. I would recommend The Heartbeat Hypothesis by Lindsey Frydman, if you're looking to read your very first New Adult Romance, or if you enjoy books by authors Sophia Henry, Ophelia London or Jennifer Blackwood.

Reading 'The Heartbeat Hypothesis' is like hearing a new voice that speaks out for teenage angst that's fully captured in its powerful, moody glory. But the subjects that Lindsey Frydman deals with here are difficult, heavy and weighed down with the solemnity of death, life and deception. 

Here, high school melodrama is eschewed in favour of melancholic episodes, wistful photographing of lonely landscapes and soulful conversations as teenagers live through and attempt to define how cosmic justice (if I could ever find a better term) has played a role in their lives. It's more than a search for identity now; their questions turn into a search for the reasons for living (deep, angsty stuff) as the beginning chapters made me hold my breath in anticipation of how things would develop between a girl who has been given a new lease of life with the heart of a dead girl and her brother who clearly hadn't yet sorted out his grief. 

Both Jake and Audra are damaged in their own ways and while I liked them to begin with, I think I couldn't understand the tangent the story took towards the end. I couldn't understand, least of all, why Audra suddenly poked her nose into Jake's business when she had no right to, leaving us with a so-called mystery that would never be solved. In fact, by the time I was through the last quarter, nothing seemed to fall into place except that after a string of tragedies, Jake and Audra kind of thought they could still belong to each other. Frydman's nuanced writing draws out Audra's emotions perfectly, yet only her motivations and sense of purpose are made clear. On the other hand, Jake himself and his family remained as frustratingly obscure as ever, without any light shed on the events a few years earlier that I'd frankly expected. 

Consequently, if I was overwhelmed in the beginning, I finished the story more bewildered than satisfied, wondering if there was some chunk of the book that I'd actually missed.

The greatest gift on earth is that of life, some would say that to be given a second chance at life, a new heart, a new ray of hope for your family is the best thing, but not Audra, not when she knows the young beautiful Emily had to die in order for her to live.

Audra reaches out to Emily's family, and she meets Jake, Emily's brother- the guy who should have "Brood" as his middle name. He's a photographer and she has this crazy idea of doing what Emily did based on the photos on her Tumblr page.

The question on my mind as I kept turning the pages was, "would Jake ever forgive himself for not being there to save his sister?" There is a shift of focus somewhere in the middle when it dawns on the reader that life brings down everyone, and grief consumes everyone in their own way and pace.

The Heartbreak Hypothesis takes you on a journey of love, forgiveness and most of all...healing from grief. It is not an easy journey but as Jake and Audra learn, it is a journey worth making.

I really loved this book.

Honestly, 3 stars is probably not indicative of how much I enjoyed most of this book. I say most because, for a good three quarters of it, I was really liking it. The writing was good, the story was engaging, possibly the only issue I had was how quickly they got together (I feel like a slowburn would have suited this a lot more). And then the last quarter happened. 

It started off with the reveal that Jake (the love interest) had been abused as a child, as in beaten to the point where he thought he would die. Implied multiple times this happened. And because we're all about using abuse as an angsty plot point apparently, this is only ever mentioned once. Never past that. 

Then, at the same time as he's telling Audra about this, he makes this comment: 

"But... what about your mom? I mean, was it just your dad who..."

"My mom couldn't stop him, even if she'd wanted to. Sometimes I don't know if she did want to."

Because if she'd wanted to stop him, wouldn't she have left? For her own sake? To save her children?

"She's mentally ill," he said, sliding off the bench. "But it's never been a good enough excuse for me."


Where to even start with this. The assumption that she didn't want to stop him because she didn't leave? The victim blaming? The implication that her having a mental illness was behind her not leaving? The fact that he thinks she's using that as an excuse not to leave? It's all messy. And I wouldn't have minded it so much if the narrative had called all these things out. But guess what. It does not. This is brought up this single time, and never challenged. Just thinking about this quote makes me angry and I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't rate this lower. 

Tack onto this, the fact that, at the end, his mother burns down their house, killing herself and his father, and that this is painted as her "cracking"? Even messier. 

There's also a point where Audra reads Jake's diary (violating his privacy much?) because she's so curious, and the contents of this diary imply that Jake has had or is still having suicidal thoughts. But don't worry (Jake says), he only ever thought about it, only ever planned where he might do it, he never really considered going through with it. And with that, this plot point is just brushed aside. 

With all this, I feel like this book had ample opportunity to explore a love interest with a mental illness. The question is, whether I would actually have wanted it to, given how much it demonises his mother who does have one (an unidentified one, too. So don't worry, we aren't just demonising a single mental illness! It's equal opportunity demonisation). 

So yeah. On second thoughts, I'm rating down.

"sometimes grief is the price you pay for love."

lindsey frydman's debut novel, the heartbeat hypothesis, pushes its characters to the brink with the amount of loss they suffer through. audra madison is a heart transplant recipient. two years after her transplant she's decided to honor the life of her donor, trying to recreate her "done-it" list. but in order to complete the list she needs a photographer, and she'd like to use the same photographer emily did, even if it turns out to be emily's brother, jake. 

audra knows that she is asking a lot of jake. and there are so many lines she crosses every time they get together. she wants to know about emily. she wants to know more about jake. she feels like she has no right to be asking these questions because emily died and she lived. and jake keeps blowing hot and cold and audra can't tell if it's that he hates her or if he hates that he likes her or if he just likes her. and the confusion is killing her, because the other terrible thing she's realizing is that she's half in love with jake and it seems to wrong, except when she's with him and there are those moments where everything just feels right. 

and then audra's best friend is killed in a car accident and jake's family dies and it's so over-the-top. did these characters really need to lose everyone in their lives? jake wasn't even on speaking terms with his parents and he had questions about how emily really died, questions that remain unsolved by the end of the novel. mainly because there is no real way to answer those questions satisfactorily, and also because how she died doesn't matter. she did and audra lived and that's what matters. 

so this book is marked by loss and depression and the knowledge that we only have a finite set of heartbeats. audra in some ways feels as if she is living on borrowed time, her heartbeats belong to emily. but emily's heart is audra's now. and it's her body and brain that keep it going. and maybe the heartbeats we have are finite. but that doesn't mean we can't savor every moment of them. through all the darkness, both jake and audra are drawn to light. the fact that jake is a photographer and is constantly working with light is no coincidence. 

their journey is one filled with shadows and hurt and pain, and they aren't left without scars. but in the end, this book is about hope. it's about finding all the light and using it to make something beautiful out of all the dark shadows. a photograph. a new love. art. something to hold onto.