Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp is the story of best friends Kyra and Corey. One girl is dead and one is trying to figure out why. It's a magical story about love, loss, hope and secrets but the story just happened to fall flat for me.

Corey arrives back home to Lost, Alaska in the wake of her best friends death. Her best friend being Kyra, the Bi-polar town outcast that everyone tries to have sent away. Lost is a town that doesn't like change or anything unpredictable and those are the two things Kyra brings to their doorsteps. Kyra killed herself because of her Bi-polar, or so it seems, and Corey sets out to figure out the truth. The entire town is hiding something, including Kyra's parents. They tell Corey that while she was gone, they came to love an appreciate Kyra, but at what expense? They tell Corey she is now an outsider and they don't want her there anymore. But she can't leave without the truth and the town won't let her leave WITH the truth.

This book had such an interesting plot and it was sad and made me angry but aside from those few things, it really did nothing for me. It hurt my heart so very much to give this book the low rating that I gave it. I ADORED the authors first book and it will forever be in my collection but Before I Let Go, sadly will not.

There were also some good points to the story. Otherwise why would I have given it the rating I did? The friendship between Kyra and Corey was beautiful yet fragile. Then you have the mystery behind Kyras death and Corey's unwillingness to accept anything at face value. I also truly loved the descriptions of Kyra's art(despite how she felt about it) and her love of stories. I feel like a character is more realistic when they have an obsession or passion. The book was also set in Alaska. That is pretty rare and I loved that. Trust me, there were a bunch of positive parts to the story, it just didn't live up to my expectations and felt a little boring to me.

In the end, I will still recommend this book to people. I would probably say read Before I Let Go first if you haven't read her previous book that way you might spare yourself and disappointment. Also, the ending was pretty anticlimactic. It just... ended.

Overall, I gave the book 3/5 stars.

The unique setting and cryptic letters scattered throughout the story were intriguing, but the writing itself seemed choppy and disjointed. Corey and Kyra's characters just never developed enough to fully grab my attention or commitment as a reader. I don't see most teens making it through this text.

Like many interested in this books, I've been wanting to read this because of This Is Where It Ends. But I have come across something quite different.

Corey hears of her best friend's death with surprise. Kyra, who has suffered for a long time for being bipolar, had promised she'd wait until Corey could visit her. Just a few days until then, she wouldn't have broken it after enduring the secluded Alaskan town of Lost Creek by herself for over half a year. Back in her hometown, Corey learns Lost doesn't treat outsiders well, for she is now an outsider herself.

I had to think longer than usual before deciding how to rate this book. I ended it doubtful even whether I liked what I read. That's why Id say it's a 2.5 rounded up. It's not a simple read. It floats from genre from genre as Corey investigates more about Kyra's passing, but it takes too long to define what it is. I know many books that succeeded in this lack of definition but Before I Let Go was a disappointment.

You will feel a little creeped out because the setting is "claustrophobic", as Corey herself calls. You will feel intrigued, because there are too many things that don't fit the official story surrounding Kyra's last months alive. You will feel frustrated, because Corey can only look back, which won't change that Kyra is gone. You will feel many things, and that will make you keep going. That's what made me. It was a book that made me believe things would get somewhere that would make it brilliant.

Unfortunately, it builds too much tension for a development that I'd call absurd. Many times I would question everything about it so absurd it was getting. But that's what the story is, it's absurd. And again, unfortunately, they don't recognize it. I actually like those stories that are simply so unbelievable anything can happen. Before I Let Go still takes itself seriously, making the climax too lukewarm. I guess Nijkamp has this flaw when developing her plot, because I also thought This Is Where It Ends turned a bit too lukewarm for the plot it had, only the characters there and whole setting saved it for me. Before I Let Go can't count much on either.

But what bothered me the most was Kyra's bipolarity. The way she developed this part made me too uncomfortable. I can't spoil things for you going into details but I don't approve her approach and would rather if she had taken time to differentiate things better.

What I did like here:

Nijkamp brings again diverse characters to the main roles.

I've never been to Alaska to know how accurate, but her description made me feel there.

While I didn't like how she developed Kyra being bipolar, but I thought it was fitting how she described her isolation from the community and Corey's feeling toward the issue.

The setting is dark, the development was messy and a little dramatic but the book can be read in a day thanks to Nijkamp's style. If you're still in doubt, you can try it without wasting too much time.

Nijikamp proved she can vary her plots a lot, this has very little in common with This Is Where It Ends. It's not every author of contemporary YA who goes that extra mile.

The cover is spectacularly beautiful.

This book reminded me of The Accident Season by Moïra Fowley-Doyle, which I enjoyed more because of a better use of the absurd. Still, I'd say it's the best reference to anyone wondering whether to read Before I Let Go. I still plan to follow Nijkamp and look forward to her next novel.

Having read a book by author Marieke Nijkamp before I knew I had to check out her new novel Before I Let Go. A completely different vibe, but a mystery which is right up my alley.

One thing I will give Nijkamp is that these two novels I have read of hers both touched on hard hitting topics that are typically taboo. The first was school shootings and Before I Let Go touched on mental health. I love reading stories that go above the norm and have you finding yourself in territories undiscovered. I know some about mental health and the struggles that people go through, but reading different takes on it always gives me more insight. Before I Let Go follows Corey as she returns home to her tiny home town of Lost, Alaska to visit her best friend Kyra. Only Kyra died two days before Corey's arrival in an apparent suicide. Corey is sad and expects to be welcomed with open arms by the residence that all know each other so well, but it turns out she is unwelcome. Now labeled an outside the story follows Corey as she tries to piece together what happen to her best friend to lead her to suicide and why the town is acting so strange.

From the first step on Lost soil I was intrigued. Corey was met with so much animosity even before she questioned what was happening that you knew there was something sinister lying beneath the surface. Corey's character was strong and brave, especially for a teenage girl. I would not have been able to handle the situation quite like her. Normally I am not a fan of flashbacks, but this story would not have made much sense without. Between occasional chapters we got a glimpse of Kyra and Corey in the two years or so leading up to the current timeline. These flashbacks gave us a glimpse as to what could have led Kyra to suicide or why the town was acting so strange.

I mentioned how Nijkamp talked about mental illness. Kyra suffered from bipolar disorder and some other mental health conditions that stem from that, such as a deep depression. The flashbacks gave witness to how those highs and lows affected those around her and why some people just could not understand her personality, making her almost a pariah in the community. As the story continued we found out more about how those who did not understand Kyra's mental illness misconstrued things and forced her into ideas and actions they felt were making her happy. All of these things are topics that most don't talk about, let along write books about, but Nijkamp never backs away from them.

I loved Nijkamp's view of mental illness and the twisted story that weaved itself around Kyra and Corey. I never knew who to trust at each turn and found myself actually gasping at times and having to take just one more minute to find out what happen next. Needless to say I finished this book in two days. A real page turner. It even had a cult like vibe to it at times with the townsfolk, which is not typically the type of story I would enjoy, but somehow all these aspects fit together to make a truly interesting, deep, spine tingling mystery. While it may be labeled YA Fiction, I feel Before I Let Go is a good novel for anyone who likes mysteries and wants to be surprised at the end. Definitely pick up a copy.

When Corey moved away from her home town of snow covered Lost Creek, Alaska she promised her best friend, Kyra, that she would always stay in touch and always be there for her. As with most teens though Corey’s new life and new friends she made after her move kept her busy so she wasn’t the best with keeping in touch with Kyra. Corey did have plans for returning to Lost Creek very soon though and finally seeing Kyra again.

Unfortunately Corey receives a phone call that Kyra has passed away, she was found under the ice in the lake that should have been frozen solid this time of year. Some think that Kyra purposely went looking for a weak spot in the ice and a way to end her own life after battling mental illness for years. Corey knows she needs to return to Lost Creek and get some answers on just what happened to her best friend.

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp is a young adult mystery read. After finishing this book I’m beginning to think that perhaps Marieke Nijkamp is just not an author for me. Last year I read This Is Where It Ends and while the idea behind the story was one that I was really taken in with the execution of the book left a lot to be desired for me and unfortunately now I can say the same with Before I Let Go.

I think really my biggest issue with this book came with the character development which was pretty non-existent. Corey is really the only character that felt developed and I find myself hard pressed to say even that as all that is repeated is she and Kyra had been close so now instead of owning up to her own mistakes she is determined to find who is at fault for Kyra’s death which should be touching and emotional but instead I just disliked Corey and found myself not caring if other’s were at fault or not.

Now as far as the mystery is concerned in this one it is buried within the repetitive nature of Corey blaming the town and eventually does come to light. It’s one that I might have been really taken with as there was a creepy and disturbing vibe but if I blinked while reading I would have missed it as that part of the story wasn’t developed very well in my opinion. So as sad as I am to say this one just wasn’t for me and as much as the ideas behind Ms. Nijkamp’s stories appeal to me I think this may be my last attempt.

I received an advance copy from the publisher via NetGalley.

Honestly...I just couldn't get into this book. It's extremely well written, but started slowly enough that I just couldn't get emotionally involved. HOWEVER. As I said, it IS well written, and will still suit many readers. I just wasn't the right one for this book.

Before I Let Go is a suspenseful thriller about a young woman whose death is mysteriously hidden from her best friend. When Corey returns home to Alaska she finds that her best friend, Kyra, dead. It appears that she has committed suicide, with the entire town trying to stop Corey from finding out the truth. Young adults will enjoy this thriller about friendship, mental illness, and fighting to what you know is right.

Interesting look into grief and memories of place versus the stories we choose to tell ourselves and others.

I've heard so much praise for Marieke Nijkamp and her book This Is Where It Ends, although I haven't read it. I might in the future, but as a Virginia Tech graduate, stories of school shootings just sit wrongly with me. Before I Let Go however, was my opportunity to discover what this author was all about, through a safer (to me) story line. This story does chronicle depression and suicide, so I wanted to note this in case this is not a safe story line for some.

Before I Let Go follows Corey, a former Alaska native who has moved to Canada for school. As she prepares to return to her former home to visit her best friend Kyra, she receives the startling news that Kyra has committed suicide. Heartbroken and confused, Corey decides to keep her plans intact, returning to Lost Creek to try to get answers about Kyra's mysterious death and attend her memorial. But upon arriving, Corey discovers that things are not quite right. She doesn't know her town anymore, or the people in it. And worst of all, she doesn't understand why they suddenly idolized Kyra, a previous outcast due to her mental illness and outbursts.

When Corey starts asking questions, the townspeople turn on her, claiming that she doesn't understand and that she abandoned Kyra in her time of need. As Corey pieces together what happened, she comes to realize that Kyra became a tool for the townspeople as they forced her to prophesize the future through her depressive painting episodes. Kyra fell more and more into herself as they exploited her illness, ultimately giving in to her depression and trying to escape, but the people of Lost Creek would not let her. Corey tries to bring the truth to light, but the townspeople make an attempt on her life and try to chase her away. All that Corey has left of Kyra are some possessions she left hidden for Corey to find.

This book was a mental rollercoaster, that's for sure. Told through letters, first person POV, and even script format, the emotion is raw and real. The plot itself was a little empty, but I think that was the point. It wanted to hone in on feelings versus actions. I will say the different formats of writing were confusing and difficult to piece together. I think it was also a little too drawn out, this took me a lot longer to read than I was expecting, and although that is common for heavy books, it was not THAT heavy that I needed over 10 days to read it.

Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Thanks to SOURCEBOOKS Fire for access to an advanced digital copy of this book!

Just two weeks before Corey is due to go back to her tiny, remote hometown to visit her best friend Kyra, she receives the devastating news that Kyra is dead. Corey immediately flies home to see Kyra's family and attend the funeral, but finds she is now treated like an outsider. Corey cannot accept that Kyra's death was a suicide, and the more she looks into the last several months of Kyra's life, the more sinister things seem. Will Corey find the truth, or will the town of Lost hold on to it's secrets forever?

First let me first say it is difficult to give this book a fair rating and review because it is definitely not my cup of tea. I guess I would classify it as magical realism crossed with psychological thriller; it is very dark and creepy, with strong sinister overtones and a touch of paranormal. It does draw the reader in, even as much as I knew it was not my kind of book, I wanted to know what really happened to Kyra, and whether Corey made it out of Lost alive. Overall, the writing was ok and, the characters of Corey and Kyra were pretty well-developed and it was well-paced. But something was just really off, or maybe it was just too weird for me. Another thing that seemed odd is that while most of the book is told in a first-person narrative by Corey, there are a few passages that are written like a script, which made it very disjointed and confusing.

I would not recommend this book to someone who likes lighter reads, realistic fiction, or lots of action. However, I would suggest it for those who like magical realism, psychological thrillers, and stories that are dark and disturbing.

Marieke Nijkamp is also the author of <i>This Is Where It Ends</i>

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free digital ARC of this book. This book is true to its title description. The reader won't be disappointed when reading this book.

This book was chilling, and not just because it took place during an Alaskan winter, there was just a piece of every page that didn't sit right with you while you were reading it and that was very intriguing. I enjoyed reading this book, through small glimpses into the past, fragments of letters, and what was going on in the present. It spoke many haunting truths about how people perceive mental illness and how what people believe is not always what is best. I feel like I was missing the core of who Corey was though, we read about her relationship with Kyra, but besides that I felt like I didn't know as much about her as I would have liked. Despite that I enjoyed reading this book and the unsettling feelings it gave me.

I enjoyed this one. It was a very fast read and had me hooked early on. This author seems to be able to write in a way that grabs the reader and pulls them in until the end. The plot was a little strange (and I don't want to visit Lost Creek any time soon), but it was still believable. The chapters were very short and the book moved along quickly. I enjoyed Marieke's first book and look forward to her next one.

What an intriguing tale with an unique sequence. I was glued to this book and had to find out Kyra's story.!! Loved the Alaska setting. Mental health needs more attention and this book can do that.

Following up to a highly successful debut novel can be rough. John Green even does a YouTube video about his fear that he'll never be able to follow up to The Fault in Our Stars. Therefore, when I was approved to read the ARC of Before I Let Go, I was willing to give some concessions to Marieke Nijkamp. I didn't really need to because the book is good. It has a creepy vibe from the second Corey arrives back into Lost Creek. I really enjoyed the creepy factor and wish that the author had capitalized on that more. Perhaps that is why portions of the book felt lackluster: I wanted more creepy and it just wasn't the case. But that was MY fault, not the author's. Another thing that I felt could have been better was delving into the mental illness aspect of Kyra. We get lots of hints and tiny stories, but again I was hoping for more. I don't know if what was included was quite enough to jolt my sympathy into place.

I thought the author did a great job of building up the plot. The slow pace is a reminder of how life feels after the death of a loved one, how numb you are, how mechanical your days become. Hints were dropped throughout the novel so, yes, you can guess the ending. I think you were supposed to be able to guess early on so you could frame the rest of what happened to Kyra in that context.

Nijkamp is also very readable. It's one of her strongest qualities that is consistent from book to book. Characters are relatable too. Even though they are quite different from me, I was able to feel like I could have passed them on the street of my own small town.

Something that I really did NOT like in the ebook edition but was happier with in the print edition was the script style chapters dropped into the narrative. I think script form doesn't translate well to digital text. So, if this was off-putting to you, don't let it stop you from picking up the book in print instead.

This book is completely different from Nijkamp's first. I can't wait to see what she comes up with next!

Ugh. I should have given more credit to the other reviewers on both Netgalley and Goodreads.
What I liked: the setting. I loved the idea of a YA book set in a remote, almost magically Alaska town/village.
What I didn't like: All the rest of it. The author attempted many things in this book - same sex relationships, a bizarre, twilight zone type town, an oracle, a mysterious death, mental illness...so, so many things. The first few pages had me hoping this was going to be real page turner, but it slowly turned into me forcing myself to finish it. I think the author tried to tackle too many things and the story just fizzles out.

Thanks to the author and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book really didn't live up to my expectations. It really was a mediocre book with a predictable ending. I expected a fast moving thriller what I got was a so-so story about friendship and mental illness. Not enough information was given about bipolar disorder and the reader was expected to know about the effects of this. The book dealt with small town communities and issues faced but this was a bit unbelievable to be fair. Would a previous resident really be made to feel unwelcome especially if they felt they had something to hide.

All in all I wasn't impressed and this isn't a memorable book for me.

This book brought up multiple emotions all at the same time. And a WTF feeling in the end!

I received an ARC of Before I Let Go from NetGalley.

I’ve only recently completed this book, so perhaps I should’ve waited a day or two before writing a review. However, I don’t want to sit with this story for even one more day—for fear I’ll forget it completely.

First off, I’ve read this author’s other book This Is Where It Ends, as well. As was also the case with this book, I recall being captivated by that story as well. I wasn’t in love with its characters—mostly because most of them were either forgettable or annoying—but I did find the story compelling.

That said, I also remember being very put-off by Nijkamp’s need to emotionally manipulate the reader.

Such manipulation is no less present in Before I Let Go. The only difference being, I couldn’t hate a main character more than I did Corey.

The basic gist of the story is this: Corey is forced home (to Lost, Alaska) by the death of her best friend, Kyra. Corey, finding it hard to believe her friend would take her own life, decides to investigate the circumstances once she arrives. However, upon doing so, she finds the people of Lost are less than eager to allow an “outsider” to rewrite the “legacy” they’ve so craftily created for Kyra.

What follows is a story that teeters somewhere between the supernatural and sheer coincidence—the reader is never truly sure which—as Corey unearths the town’s hidden secrets.

While I loved the use of Alaska’s haunting beauty as the backdrop to this story, Corey’s incessant need to understand and be given the truth got old in a hurry.

It’s like, hello, if you’d been a better friend, perhaps you wouldn’t need answers from all of these weird ass people!.

I just ...*sigh*.

I wanted Corey to either accept the loss of her best friend, and work through that, or understand the danger of getting to the bottom of whatever truth she was looking to find. I mean, seriously, some of the crap Corey gets into is just so far-fetched ...there’s no way any rational person is that stupid.

I know, anything is possible with a YA character, but come on! The number of times Corey puts herself in a situation that is obviously dangerous is beyond acceptable.

There were far too many moments when I felt like I was reading an episode of The Twilight Zone. Albeit, a really campy, and bad one, with no message or point whatsoever.

Even more annoying? The fact that no one truly respected the memory of Kyra; the only worthwhile, fleshed-out, character in the book.

Kyra’s voice, even from her watery grave, had more backbone and life than any of the seriously detestable people in her town.

If nothing else, her Bipolar Disorder was treated with respect and dignity by Nijkamp. That much I could appreciate.

This story could have easily been shorter. There was nothing life-affirming to be learned that couldn’t have been relayed in less time, especially since the ending leaves such a bad taste in your mouth.

Even so, I did enjoy Nijkamp’s writing style. She does have a way of grabbing the attention of the reader, and keeping them sucked into the story ...no matter how completely uninteresting (and depthless) its characters.

That said, great prose does not a great story make.

This one fell short for me because I could never connect with the main character (Corey) and, by the time the story concluded, I was left wondering if she’d served any purpose at all.

When I started this book I thought it was so good! The writing was wonderful, the bond between the two girls was strong, the Alaskan setting was beautiful. I put this down just after the halfway point because I needed sleep. I couldn't understand how this book was getting such low ratings. When I picked it back up in the morning, I couldn't stand it anymore. It was SO repetitious. Corey is staying in Lost for just under a week and it's the same actions and conversations over and over and over. No characters had any real depth except for Corey and Kyra. And then when I found out what actually happened, ugh. It was absolutely absurd!