Hello people of the internet!!! On today’s ‘Monday Memos’ we’re going to review a new book by New York Times Bestselling Author Marieke Nijkamp. You may recognize Marlene’s name due to the popularity of her 2016 debut book ‘This Is Where It Ends’, as well as the editor of the anthology Unbroken: 13 Stories Starting Disabled Teens which will be released in the fall of 2018. Today we have the privilege of reviewing her latest book ‘Before I Let Go’, which was released on January 2, 2018 and was provided for review by Sourcebooks Fire. This will be a spoiler free review however I will discuss how the ending affected my opinion of the book. So now let’s get to the review. Ready? Ok, let’s go!!!

‘Before I Let Go’ is a Young Adult suspense novel surrounding the suicide of a bi-polar young teenage girl name Kyra in the small town of Lost, Alaska. When Kyra’s best friend Corey returns to Lost after moving away for several months, she begins to realize that the town is very different than she remembered. Corey is shocked to find that she is now treated like an outsider by people who have known her for her entire life, and feels that there is an aura of secrecy surrounding the town. However the thing that Corey finds the most shocking is the fact that everyone in town speaks very highly and lovingly of Kyra, despite the fact that Corey always saw that everyone in town mercilessly tease and abused Kyra her entire life. Corey begins to suspect that there is more to Kyra’s death than what she has been lead to believe, so she decides to investigate the story herself. Throughout the story Corey finds out dark secrets about the town and herself that she had never considered before. Corey also finds that she has enemies and allies in the town that will play an important role in uncovering the truth.

So now we’ve reached the point in the review where I tell y’all if you should buy this book or not. Honestly, this book is a little difficult to recommend because it was a solid 5 star read until I reached the ending of the book. Now this book does have some problems throughout, such as the fact that Corey is not a very likeable protagonist because of the way she treated Kyra after she moved (which is made even worst by how mentally ill Kyra is, and the fact that Corey knows this but still treats her this way). The book also contains several pages where the writing suddenly changes to a script style (like a play would have) which was really jarring and completely unnecessary to the story because it didn’t tie in with anything. However a positive point of this book is that we do get to see a lot of diversity with the inclusion of asexual, pansexual, and homosexual characters, as well as a very detailed accounting of Kyra’s mental illness that helps us really understand and fall in love with her character. The author truly does an amazing job of pulling you into the mystery of Lost and keeping you engaged throughout every twist & turn that comes our way. Unfortunately this is all ruined by the ending of the book. As soon as Corey solves the mystery we reach the climax of the book and then the story just ends. It does not resolve, it just ends. After all of the build up and great storytelling that the author does, this ending is just so disappointing that it honestly ruined the whole experience of the book for me. Because of this, I have to give this book a solid 2.5 smiley faces out of 5, which truly saddens me to do because this story deserved so much more.

I’m not sure what to say about Before I Let Go. I’m confused by it, I’m stunned by it, I’m frightened of it.

Nihkamp’s story is a twisty one that seems simple—a girl returns to her home town to mourn her recently deceased friend—but it’s so much more. It’s a meditation on love, on the nature of grief, but most of all, it’s an examination of stories themselves. The ones we build for ourselves and others.

I can’t say I loved the book—the characters aside from Corey and Lyra were very flat and one-dimensional. I get that the two girls were the protagonists, but I didn’t care at all about any other characters. But, I’ll be on the lookout for Nijkamp’s next work: her ability to evoke atmosphere and to drive home a poignant message resonated with me.

I received an ebook copy of Before I Let Go from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

It was interesting to read about a character that was bipolar. At times I had a hard time connecting with Corey as she searched for answers about her friend. Parts of the story didn’t seem very realistic. It was a pretty good read.

To sum up my feelings on this book, I would simply need to say, “Meh.” It didn’t feel like a thriller/suspense story which is what it is being billed as. Honestly, a lot of it was just WEIRD. The townspeople were cult like and Kyra’s gift was never really explained. I’m not a huge fan of magical realism which this book contains in multitudes. I didn’t really connect with Corey, and in fact her decision to completely abandon her so-called best friend and then be all self-righteous after her death was grating. Also, the entire town shunning Kyra because she has bipolar disorder (for years) is extremely problematic. Nijkamp’s writing flows well though. Others may well enjoy this book, it just wasn’t for me.

I. Read a lot of books but this one I struggled with, I found it very confusing at times, and I had to reread the last few sentences every time to remember where I was up to
I expected a fast paced thriller from the publishers notes but was disappointed
This resulted in me not being able to complet this book

This book is a tough one for me. I'm honestly not sure how I feel. While I was intrigued it also fell a little flat for me.

Enjoyed reading this one. Intriguing, mysterious. I only gave it 3-stars because I feel like the story was a bit slow & could've benfitted from more detail. However, I would recommend it to others who would enjoy this story!

To start, let me say that I LOVED Marieke Nijkamp's YA debut This Is Where It Ends and could not wait to read this book. I began reading with very high expectations and to be honest, I was underwhelmed - at least in the beginning.

The story takes place in Lost, Alaska. Corey and Kyra are teen girls - best friends - who find themselves being separated when Corey is forced to move when her mother takes a job in Winnipeg. This is more troubling for Kyra, who has bipolar disorder. Corey, it seems, is the only one who loves Kyra in spite of her illness. The town dislikes her and treats her accordingly. The book tells the story of the girls in snippets of time both present and past. When Corey comes back to visit seven months after her move, she finds a town that is completely different than the one she left. In this case, different does not equal good.

The beginning of the book seemed monotonous to me. However, about one third of the way in, I became engaged. I was fully invested by the halfway point, and by the end, I couldn't turn the pages fast enough as I raced to the conclusion. Nijkamp did NOT disappoint with this book. By turns, it is a story of love, friendship, support, abandonment and loss. Don't let the YA label put you off - there is something for everyone in these pages. Definitely worth the read!

This book kept you guessing! When Corey learns her friend Kyra has died, and returns to Lost Creek to pay her final respects, she never expected the homecoming she received from her hometown. The entire book peels another layer off the story of how Kyra was finally accepted, and how it killed her. Small town suspense at its finest.

I received a copy of BEFORE I LET GO on Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to the publisher and author.

Five stars and here's why:

BEFORE I LET GO is BRILLIANT. Marieke Nijkamp delivers the most compelling and original modern-day suspense story that leaves you with the shivers. Seriously. It’s been days and I’m still thinking about it.

I love the premise. It’s difficult to go into detail without giving away the important parts, but it’s a page-turner and I devoured it in one sitting. The story format is unique and the diverse set of characters will keep you intrigued until the very end.

The bottom line: Sometimes you can feel like a stranger in your own beloved hometown. In the span of a week, Corey tries to figure out what happened in the few months she left her hometown, Lost, for school. She tries to solve what really happened to her best friend Kyra and to the town and that’s when everything glitters is not gold and her friend’s death may not be what it seems.

If you’re looking for a happy ending, this book isn’t for you. The story is unsettling, thrilling, and mysterious, but at the same time, it will captivate you. I loved it and can’t wait to read more by this author. Highly recommend.

**Thank you so much to Sourcebooks for allowing me to read this in exchange for an honest review!**

what i liked
*There are a lot of flashbacks. We will be reading from the present and then jump back to the past to when Kyra was alive, which definitely gave her character more depth.
*It seems like it wasn't a suicide right off the bat. Why else would Corey be so confused as to why Kyra did it? This leads to a very interesting storyline as Corey tries to figure out what actually happened to her best friend.
*There are parts of the story that are just told through phone calls or letters. I loved those, especially because they were usually with Kyra.

what i disliked
*The whole town somehow liked Kyra as soon as Corey left. The flashbacks prove that Kyra was literally the talk of the town while Corey was there and she was constantly picked on. It didn't make sense that suddenly everyone loved Kyra and saw her for who she was while Corey was away.
*There was a lot of confusion for me surrounding the ending. It didn't make much sense, and I wish there was more explanation. However, I feel like it was supposed to be this way? I don't know, but it made me like the book less.
*It was extremely slow until the last 10%. I wish it wasn't, but I felt like nothing happened until the very end.

Corey returns to the town she grew up in after her best friend falls through a crack in the ice and drowns. She wants to know the truth about Kyra’s death and even if it hurts. Lost Creek is a town built on secrets and you need to be careful when you visit. It is the town where it all happened and where the inhabitants seem almost brainwashed or hypnotized. Be careful! Something in this town might come to steal your life away.
The book tells the story of a special person, the town she lived in and its inhabitants. I can imagine events like this happening in real life and it makes me feel a little sad. In addition, I feel for anyone struggling with mental health issues. Life can be hard enough without any extra pressures. It also made me consider of the great works created by artists during some of their episodes.
The time Corey spends in the time seemed a little drawn out to me. On the other hand, I thought the author did a great job of incorporating a bit of philosophy, history and medieval interest into the storyline.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a digital copy of the final manuscript in return for an honest review.

This was a bit of a strange one. I was drawn to it because it was set in Alaska & for some reason that setting always appeals to me.

Corey & Kyra were best friends. They lived in Lost- a small settlement going through hard times as the mineral mining was running out. Corey was a scientist & Kyra was a dreamer & a collector of stories. She was also bi-polar.In their small community this meant she was treated with fear and suspicion. During her manic phases she found some release in startlingly realistic paintings.

When Corey's mother gets another job the friends have to part. Swearing to keep in touch Corey goes on the an exciting new life at a boarding school that she fits into perfectly. Although letter flow between the two friends they do diminish.

Corey had planned to go back to Lost for a visit when she gets the shocking news that Kyra is dead. On arriving back in Lost she finds that the community's attitude has gone through a complete change. She refuses to believe that Kyra had taken her own life and she searches for the truth- a dangerous path.

At times I got a bit tired of this one & at others I couldn't put it down. It's a bit of a mixed bag but well worth a read.

Thanks to Netgalley & the publisher for letting me read & review & review this book.

I can't say I disliked the story, but I had hang-ups with the character development, plot and pacing. Okay, so these are all rather important aspects of a novel... so I'm trying to figure out why I wanted to keep reading. One factor was definitely the remote setting of Lost, Alaska. The town itself felt like the perfect place for a mystery... especially when the townsfolk were acting so bizarre- I was intrigued by how "off" everything seemed.
Nijkamp has a style of writing that is forthright, nothing frilly- yet still conveys emotion in the reader.
"The stars we see in the night sky are so far away that it takes years for us to see it when they die. I can't help but wonder if Kyra had burned out long before I left- and if we simply hadn't seen it." I felt like I had to find out how it all turned out. This novel sheds some light on mental illness- and what it means to live with bipolar disorder. How it is often easier to segregate yourself from others for the sake of self-preservation. Kyra is tired of protecting everyone by pretending everything is okay. I felt exhausted just reading about the pressure she experienced in everyday life.
When I think about what turned me off of this novel, the list is noticeably longer. First of all, Corey. One-dimensional... though she was committed to uncovering Kyra's story, I didn't find her to be memorable. I wanted to know more about who SHE was, not who she was with Kyra.
By approximately half-way through the novel, I felt a monotony in the "suspense"... i.e.) the reaction of the townsfolk to Corey and her determined questioning to get to the bottom of the mystery of Kyra's death. It all started to sound very repetitive and I found myself skimming to get to the end more quickly. The ending felt unlikely and somewhat contrived (though I'm still not clear on the genre).
Mixed emotions, but ultimately I don't plan on purchasing this one for our library.
Thank you #NetGalley for the opportunity to review this title. "Before I Let Go"

This was an amazing read. The story grabbed you from the beginning and kept you captivated. I would recommend this book.

I would like to thank Netgalley and Sourcebook Fire for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.

WOW!! Just WOW!!

Very suspenseful! I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to finish this book. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next and solve the mystery as to what happened to Kyra. This is a pretty dark read and it didn't end how I thought it would but I liked that it kept me interested and invested in the story.

Nijkamp deftly handles the complexity of adolescent emotion in this coming of age story placed in a small Alaskan town. Her vivid descriptions of the rugged beauty enhance the story, providing the perfect backdrop for this stirring tale. In painting the beauty of friendship between Corey and her best friend Kyra, she illustrates the longing of the heart for connection and unconditional acceptance. Kyra's bravery in learning to manage her mental health challenges stand in stark contrast to the inability of her family and friends--and her best friend Corey--to embrace her as she is.

The twists and tension ratchet up as the story unfolds, and I couldn't pull myself away until I'd finished this story.

I look forward to what comes next from Marieke Nijkamp!

I truly could not put this book down. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, but it quickly veered away from that and I suddenly could not let go of this main character. Nijkamp was able to develop every single character (both dead and alive), and nothing felt like it fell flat as the story moved along. Even as the book began, I was I was immediately pulled in by narrator and then pulled further down the rabbit hole by the slightly off town and it's citizens. It was a novel full of intrigue and it excites me for future novels from Nijkamp.

Not great. I couldn’t get into the story at all as it moved too slowly. Failed to grab my attention at all, and I struggled to get through it.

Very catching summary and online cover - I really think that this book will attract readers from book clubs, as well as young women. I'd recommend marketing the interesting environment that the book's writing creates. The cover is a bit generic for my liking.