The case of the book that couldn't decide what it was. A mental health study. A supernatural look at prophecy. A study on grief and loss in the teen years. Learning to thrive in Alaska. I had such high hopes for this book purely based on the author's writing style and the fact that there was so much gripping build up, page turning suspense, spooky atmosphere, right up until the moment......that nothing happened. No closure, and not even in the you guess your own ending kind of way, but the kind of way where it just ended. Probably one of the most unsatisfying books I've read this year. So much potential just to go from a sprint to a face plant at the end.

I love thrillers, mystery, suspense, and books that use a little magic to move the plot along. I thought BEFORE I LET GO would smash all of those things. Unfortunately, it just seemed to sort of nudge and run away, leaving me feeling a little disappointed.

While the premise of the book was interesting and had a lot of promise, the execution fell flat. As a reader, I'm used to suspending disbelief in order to appreciate a story but this one had glaring plot holes and characters that just behaved the way no actual human would. Without giving too much away, I couldn't believe that Corey never once wondered to herself or asked anyone why they suddenly believed what they believed about Kyra. In the 7 months she was gone, what changed? How did everything begin?

It felt like the author was trying to do too much for her writing ability. She tried to create a creepy town, a mysterious death, friendships, and then threw in "I'm asexual, she's pansexual, and those two boys are gay". I love Queer literature when it's done right, but the quick "I'm asexual because I don't like to kiss" almost made me quit reading this book.

This just wasn't a satisfying read. I'm generally ok with being left with questions but when the questions are "Why wouldn't she tell her mom that someone tried to murder her??", I have to shake my head.

This arc was provided to me for free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

2.5 Stars

This is going to be a very confusing review because I don’t know what I just read. I can’t put it fully into words to describe this book. I was nervous picking this up because I wasn’t a big fan of the author's previous work, This Is Where It Ends. But I wanted to give it a shot because it looked like a type of YA Thriller. But unfortunately, it wasn’t for me.

This book follows Corey who has moved away from Lost Creek, Alaska and left her best friend, Kyra behind. Right before Corey comes back for a visit, she gets word that Kyra has died. Corey goes back regardless to Lost Creek to get answers but she is treated like an outsider and she discovers that the town of Lost Creek is holding deadly secrets.

This book had the potential to be a good thriller type of book, but it didn’t live up to my expectations. The characters weren’t interesting in the slightest, in fact, Corey irritated me to no end. You get glimpses of Kyra through confusing flashbacks and we see how lost and alone she really was because of her bipolar disorder. The author handled her illness pretty decently and it’s nice to see that kind of representation in books. But the characters lacked so much, the plot was just incredibly frustrating, and there are so many questions I have.


While this book left me disappointed, it still captured my attention throughout the whole thing. Which is exactly what the author's previous book did. May not be my cup of tea, but the author sure does know how to pull you in and not let you go.

I was very disappointed with this book. The cover and the description made it sound amazing, but it fell flat for me. I couldn't relate to any of the characters; they didn't feel like real people to me at all. Their behavior and the decisions they made seemed bizarre and made no sense to me. For example: several residents of the small Alaska town constantly talk about who is an "outsider" and who is "not one of us." This occurs in the flashbacks as well as the current timeline. I'm from a small town and know that this mentality certainly exists, but it's mostly unspoken, or spoken about with euphemisms. I've never heard people actively discussing who is "not one of us"--definitely not as often as these characters do. The dialogue seemed off, especially for the teenage characters. I almost put the book down several times but ultimately kept reading because I was interested in seeing what had happened. However, the conclusion was disappointing to me as well. I can imagine that some teens will enjoy this book, but It had me rolling my eyes from beginning to end and I expect most adult readers will feel the same way.

Corey and Kyra have always been best friends. Living in the tiny town of Lost Creek, Alaska. When Corey's mother moves the family to Canada, Corey promises to come back.

But things like school, a new town, new friends get in the way of the past and by the time Corey returns, it is for Kyra's funeral.

The town is no longer home to Corey. She is now an outsider. She doesn't believe Kyra would have killed herself and no one is giving her any answers. All Kyra wanted was to get out of this town and Corey is going to find out what happened to her and why everyone in town is acting so bizarre.

This book was told from past to present and I am really not sure how I feel about it. Kyra is bi-polar. I find it hard to believe that even in the backwoods of Alaska that having it would be so polarizing that she would be shunned.

This felt more like a ghost story that got way out of hand.

Netgalley/Sourcebooks Fire

Coming off of Nijkamp's initial story, I had high hopes for BEFORE I LET GO. What I got was...a bit of a thematic mess. To be fair, it's a thematic mess that kept me up late to finish, because it does still have the quick pace that Nijkamp established in THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS, but it leaves you a little dazed. The jumping narrative styles are interesting, but I'm not seeing where the purpose was. It's not specific scenes that seem to trigger it, nor characters. The letters and the calls, I can understand. It's the script pieces that don't mesh. There are a lot of fragments of genres in here, and it never solidifies into any one of them enough to explain the oddity that is Lost Creek. If magical realism was the goal, it achieved it--but I wasn't getting that vibe from the book initially. All in all, it's a nice little read, but it could have been so much more.

Corey thought she would be returning to Lost Creek, Alaska after a semester at boarding school to visit her best friend. Instead she's coming for Kyra's funeral. Corey determines to get to the bottom of Kyra's death. But things aren't the same in Lost Creek. Corey is now considered an outsider and no one will talk to her. Meanwhile, the whole town speaks of Kyra with reverent tones. Corey is convinced that something very weird happened while she was gone.

Before I Let Go is such a mind-bender of a book. Marieke Nijamp deals with issues of mental illness, suicide, death, loss, and fitting in through a creepy kind of magical realism.

I’m not really sure how I feel about this book. One the one hand, I was really invested in it. On the other, it’s not particularly the best story I’ve ever read. Nonetheless, it was interesting and I’m happy I read it.

I felt kind if "blah" throughout the book, and the ending was definitely disappointing. I think there were several promising premises but none really delivered.

This book was okay but unfortunately didn't live up to my expectations!😥 I am still intrigued by the author and will check out her other works. I like the cover but the book was just meh/okay to me but I appreciate the opportunity!

My thoughts while reading this book were mostly one simple word: meh. I never really connected with the characters, didn't care about the town or the mystery and thought the writing was choppy and distracting.

It's just such a mediocre book. No scenes stand out, no characters stand out, and at no point did I think, yes, this is worth reading. Everything is so bland, that I've already forgotten the name of the main character and the name of the town.

Marieke Nijkamp is probably simply not the author for me. I read "This is Where it Ends" last year and was similarly underwhelmed by the execution. When I spotted this book on Netgalley, I thought the premise sounded fascinating, otherwise I wouldn't have requested it, but the book just does not deliver.

The style is weird. Nijkamp decided to add random scenes written as a script even though none of the characters have anything to do with film, and it didn't fit.

None of the characters get any development and the mystery turned out to be predictable and boring. A small town in Alaska should be a fascinating setting. Creepy and isolated, you'd think it would be perfect for a mystery, but oh well. On top of that, the plot just wasn't credible. In fact, it all felt a bit off. The only reason I finished this is because I usually finish books I request, and because it's such a short read.

I'm really disappointed I didn't like this better.

Originally, I believed this to be another YA mystery, but <i>Before I Let Go</i> was a lot different than I expected it to be. Corey and Kyra grew up together, best friends in the small town of Lost Creek, Alaska. Seven months ago, Corey’s family moved away, leaving Kyra alone in the town that was unacceptiping of her and her manic episodes due to her bipolar disorder.

Corey gets a phone call that Kyra took her own life and immediately flies back to Lost Creek, only to find that town is completely different in MANY ways.

I had a lot of up and down feelings about this book. While I’m glad the plot focused on someone, particular a teenager struggling with bipolar disorder and depression, the way it was handled obviously ways terrible. I felt as though the ending had a lot more to be desired as well and there were a few plot holes to clear up too. Overall, interesting plot and new take on the genre.

An interesting read that captivated me from the first page. I felt like I was right there with the characters, the writing was gripping and intimate. This story reminded me of Thirteen Reasons Why, so if you’re a fan of that, then I recommend this book.
I really loved the setting of the book, the small winter town in Alaska, and I especially loved the friendship between the two girls, Corey and Kyra. The plot is a devastating one, but it has a valuable lesson for the reader which I appreciated.

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp takes place in Lost Creek, Alaska. The two main characters are Corey and Kyra. Corey and Kyra are best friends and promise to stay best friends even though Corey moves away.

Shortly before coming home for a visit, Corey receives a call from her mother. The news is devastating. Kyra is dead. She fell through some ice on a lake and drowned. Corey can’t believe it. It doesn’t make sense. It’s January. The lake should be frozen solid.

Corey heads back to Lost Creek to stay with the Henderson’s (Kyra’s parents.) What she finds is confusing and puzzling. The town seems to have embraced Kyra while Corey was gone. Not only did they embrace Kyra, but they seem to be pushing Corey away. Not wanting to answer her questions.

The book is both mysterious and puzzling. At times it even reads like a thriller, with sinister undertones. It is told in a random sort of way, with flashbacks of Corey and Kyra’s relationship, letters that Kyra wrote Corey, and events currently happening.

I like the book and enjoyed the unique storyline.

I received an ARC of the book.

Thank you for the advanced reading of this book.

Ok so the description of the book sounds great and full of twists and turns. Great my kind of read. However this book was not as exciting as it sounds. i was lost a few times on where the story was going. I found that it didnt go anywhere. this book I gave a 2 star because im just not fully happy with how it was written. I do feel that this author has great ideas and she thinks outside the box. I love how she tried to write about mental illness which not many do.

I received a free ecopy of this book in return for an honest review. Many thanks to @netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity.

Before I Let Go is one of those hard to classify stories. It presents, initially, as a mystery but if you go into it looking for a string of clues and a race to beat the author to a solution you are destined for disappointment. It’s not that kind of book. It is, however, a beautiful and poignant story about different kinds of loss.

At the outset, Corey, who has moved away from the town of Lost Creek, hears that the best friend she left behind, Kyra, has died in an apparent suicide. Not believing this, Corey gets on a plane, ostensibly heading back for the memorial, but actually wanting to investigate the events leading to Kyra’s death. On arrival, Corey finds the town and its people to be very different than she remembered.

There are eerie supernatural occurrences that at times can be unnerving to the reader. Thrown into the mix are some alternative sexualities and the treatment of people with mental health issues.

What struck a chord with me was that feeling of going back somewhere, knowing you have changed but not expecting that they will have too. That shock feeling of realising that people and places have moved on without you. It had a feeling of loss of innocence. People Corey trusted as a child now appear threatening.

I felt that in some respects this book failed to live up to its promise, some story threads lacked explanation, some themes weren’t fully explored but this was a book that pulled me in and wouldn’t let go. I lost some sleep finishing it. If you can set aside your expectations and let the story flow you will be rewarded with some beautiful writing.

Mixed Feelings

I went into this optimistic. It just missed the mark for me. It was not bad. It was not written badly. It just didn't work. It had an important message that I really do hope reaches people.
What I did like was the unsettled feeling I had about the town. It was sort of creepy and mysterious. It built anticipation.
The bad: I was left with so many unanswered questions. To many.


Thank you, NetGalley, for the ARC

Thank you to netgalley.co.uk for the free copy in exchange for an honest review.

First of all, I feel like I must warn readers that this book deals with some pretty weighty topics but I believe the writing dealt with it, the writing was easy to read and made the tough subjects a little easier to read. However, the reason I gave the book three stars because I was left feeling disappointed in the characters and their development. In my opinion, for a book that dealt with mental illness issues, the character development didn't feel right throughout the book. However, I thought it was a unique book.

This tells the story of Corey and best friend Kyra. Corey moves away from the small town they grew up in Alaska. Corey promises to return in the summer. A few days before that happens, Kyra dies suddenly. Corey makes her way back to the small town to uncover what actually happened to her best friend. This book was gripping and it had me turning the pages. Kyras bipolar disorder was accurately portrayed. It gives you room to think about mental illness and the misconceptions surrounding it. I would definitely recommend this book. I have found other books more gripping as this started off a bit slow but I think its a great read..

I had a really hard time sticking with this book. I could never really get invested in the characters of Corey and Kyra. While I appreciate the author's attempt to explore friendships affected by mental disorders, specifically bi-polar, I was left feel unsatisfied with the plot.