I swapped my kindle back in 2018 and am unable to recover this title. I appriciate the opportunity that was given for review but sadly can't complete it for this title. Based on the works and promotional work on the blog tour I give this 3 Stars. Many thanks.

A very enjoyable and fascinating book that I was not sure about at first, but once I got into the characters in the story I was gripped.  I am hoping that there will be more books from this Author.

We Can't Be Friends is Cyndy Etler's second book which focuses on her life after spending 16 months at Straight, Inc., a program for troubled teens. This book picks up right after she's released from Straight, but Cyndy does reflect back and wrote about her experiences at Straight in the beginning of the book for those who haven't read the first The Dead Inside. You can jump right into this one, but I would still highly recommend you read The Dead Inside first. 

Cyndy struggles to adapt to the real world again after her time at Straight. It appears that everyone just automatically assumes she's healed and nobody seems to understand how difficult this is for her. She still has difficulties with her mother, who obviously has some serious psychological issues. In the book she shares experiences she has at home, with her teachers and counselors, events at school with her peers, and relationships with boys. She struggles with real life and wonders if she'd be better off back at Straight so she can feel safe again. Cyndy has an insane amount of scarring at a young age. It's to the point to where it's difficult for her to decipher from what's right and wrong, and from truth. I can't imagine how hard this must've been for her. The book was a little difficult to read at times and I felt much sympathy for her. It's like nobody is on her side and she can't catch a break. She needs to be loved and can't even get some simple support! It's good to know that she turned out to be an awesome human being who now helps counsel teens in need. 

I'll admit that I wasn't as invested in this second book as I was with the first, perhaps because I learned about Straight in The Dead Inside and was so shocked by how she was treated. How had I never heard about Straight, Inc. before then? I looked forward to reading this book to find out what life was like for Cyndy after Straight and that's exactly what I got. This book was written a little differently and shares Cyndy's experiences in chronological format after Straight. I think it was a little harder to read as a lot of thoughts are shared in between, but overall, it was good and I'm glad I read it.

4****

This book is extremely important, as it gives children and teens, and especially sexual assault victims, a voice that they don't otherwise have.

I did not get to finish the last tiny bit. Though I enjoyed what I did read.

I found this a difficult read as it was written from a teenage mindset, and even writing as an adult the writing was very young. I had expected a fascinating read which would allow me a great insight into the mind of a troubled teenage and the trials and tribulations of her life. Sadly the writing let the memoir down. It;s difficult to really review a book which is based on someone's actual life, as it feels harsh to form judgement. However nothing about this really gripped me, and I think it would be better suited to teenage / young adult readers.

I found this book very interesting. It gave me girl in pieces and purge vibes. It was a dark idea. Really liked it!

Although this was a good book, for me it was a hard book to read. Not due to the writing, but just all that this young lady had to go through. All of the people that should have helped her, turned their back on her. The damage that was done to Cindy in my opinion was appalling. But, she perservered. She is living a life SHE wants to lead. This is a good book for all. Many topics are touched, bullying, self-esteem, etc. Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and last but not least the author for allowing us into her world with the ARC of this book in return for my honest review.

Rough, honest, painfully realistic. A good book for someone working with youth or dealing with their own or their child's rebellion. That said, I would only recommend it to youth to read with caution, perhaps for that were already in an environment similar to the author's as a lot of her experiences are explained uncomfortable detail.

“This is what happened to my mind and my heart and my soul and my relationship with humanity.”
-Cyndy Etler (Mooresville Weekly article [http://www.lakenormanpublications.com/mooresville_weekly/entertainment/etler-s-memoir-breaks-free-of-straight-and-narrow/article_32e905a3-54da-52eb-bd3f-57c26ca1a1e3.html], May 31, 2013*)

Everything that you wanted to hope was going to be okay or fixed or normal after the ending of The Dead Inside for Cyndy Etler's life? We Can't Be Friends shows you just how much it is not.

The present tense narration continues in this follow-up/companion to The Dead Inside. Reading it as if it is currently happening, not something from years ago (even as you know it's in 1989/1990) makes everything that much more real. What's happening is something Cyndy - and you as the reader - are experiencing. You feel one less step removed from things.

So, so many times I wanted to ask the people in her life if they really, truly believed what they were saying, what they seemed to think of Cyndy. If they actually thought it was appropriate or remotely logical.  (Though there was one adult I did want to thank or hug or something.)

I appreciated that the author didn't try to just tie a big bow on things and pretend it was all neat and tidy once she left Straight. There is no way to spend sixteen months - especially not as young as the author was - under those circumstances, with that kind of daily treatment and not have it mess with your head. This memoir is incredibly honest and we see all the stupid, misunderstood, painful, confused, naive and needy things she does.

I understood Cyndy's mother even less here than I did in The Dead Inside. Cyndy could have a horribly low opinion of herself, but when people have spent sixteen months convincing you you're 'a druggie whore' and that you're always one step away from slipping back into addiction, it's kind of hard to think you're great. We Can't Be Friends shows you just how much Straight Inc harmed Cyndy Etler (and so many others) but also how much of a difference a few people (or birds, even) can make.

I applaud the author for giving us two such honest, real memoirs. She doesn't shy away from things that might make her look 'bad' and it means we really get the full story, as painful, heartbreaking, and hopefully, ultimately, hopeful as it is.

*the author originally published her memoir Straightling in 2012



4.5/5 stars

I really had thought this was the first part of her story I didn't realize this was the second part so yes I was able to keep up with the basic of what the first part was and I did like the book but I think I would have got soooo much more into it with the first part and that was my fault so I will give this book a 4 stars but I need to go read the fist part!

This is Cyndy Etler's second book that is a memoir of her teenage years.
Much like the first book this is a tough read. We see Cyndy struggle through dealing with what happened at Straight and what happened to her before she was sent there. She's now home with her mom and little sister, and basically on her own dealing her sobriety and finding ways to cope with what happened. She's also now the only one in her whole school that is sober and because of that she is now the teachers favorite. We see her deal with having no friends and struggling for a purpose in life, and even dealing with food issues now as well. 

This is a tough read once again as it is a memoir and Etler doesn't sugar coat anything that happened to her. She's honest about everything she dealt with how and she really did struggle and wasn't given much help by her mom. She had to figure out everything on her own, and found other adults who would help her and lead her in the right direction. 

We also see her have fun and realize that she doesn't have to be super strict now all the time. She try's to do the normal teenage thing, and makes real friends for a little while and then things happen as they always do when your a teenager and you grow apart. Etler's book always leave me having learned something from her. I love how open she is about her struggles and her willingness to use them as a way to help other people. She's given a voice to those who don't get a voice very often in young adult books right now, but it's one that is very honest and helpful too so many young people.

I know this is autobiographical so I don't want to be too harsh, but it's difficult for me to imagine how someone who suffered something like this as a teenager, even as an adult seems to have the same toxic mentality (in many aspects) as an uneducated adolescent can have. I get you can be insecure and lack self-esteem, but if I recall correctly she is selfish and reckless herself. Even after everything. So I managed to read the whole thing but didn't really like it. Definitely not my cup of tea.

what.
what.
is this real life? This book is labeled a memoir, but it reads like fiction, because it blows my mind that these things happened to someone at a treatment program. I unfortunately did not get to read the first memoir documenting Cyndy's experience at the treatment center, but with the snippets in the book about that experience, I am blown away.

I went into this book having not read the predecessor and I was stunned at what came about. This story is told in unflinching clarity and truly blew me away.

Wow, reading this (as well as "The Dead Inside," Etler's first book about her life and time in Straight, Inc.) was...ROUGH. I can't imagine having to go through what she did. And yet, the way she writes about her experiences as a teenager trying to find her way in a world where everyone else is doing the same, makes it universally understandable. You may not be able to relate to her pathological fear of so-called "druggie" things, but you can see parts of yourself in her teenage awkwardness, her attempts at trying to fit in and meeting rejection. It bothered me at times how she wrote these books in a juvenile way, using weird slang words, but I get why she did it - that was who she was (a teenager, in the 80s) when this stuff happened to her, and the juxtaposition between her youthfulness and the insanity she lived through makes a big impact.

This is a brave, raw and fascinating memoir. This is the kind of book that will be passed around from teen girl to teen girl and checked out of every school library. In every middle school and high school in the nineties, the same books were always checked out of the library or passed around from friend to friend -- "scandalous" ones like the Sweet Valley High book where Jessica Wakefield runs away from home with her motorcycle riding boyfriend, or any young adult Judy Blume novel, and, of course, the coup de grace of retro juiciness, Go Ask Alice. Yes, Go Ask Alice was debunked as a fake diary but teenage girls just wanted the dirt even if it was written decades prior.

Cyndy Etler's We Can't Be Friends, however, is the real deal. It is a no-b.s. unflinching retelling of her high school life after graduating from a scared sober program in the 1980s. It stands on its own without needing to read her previous memoir, The Dead Inside. The period details are so on point that they must have come from Elter's journal entries or an eidetic memory for eighties culture. Cyndy's story of trying to navigate a sober life is truly heartbreaking because it's told so matter of factly and because she can't see past her wrecked self worth for so long. We Can't Be Friends could be an important read for someone who needs it.

This book is a bit difficult to review, as I haven't read the author's previous memoir The Dead Inside, but I still found it moving and profoundly touching nonetheless. If you have the opportunity and can read her first book prior to this one, you will likely get even more out of it, as she describes her experience inside of Straight, Inc in detail; this book picks up after the first one has ended and tells the author's story of life after the "rehab" center. At many points I was tearing up reading about how the struggle only continued once leaving such a controlling facility, and while I'm not the target audience for Etler's latest memoir, I think many teens will be able to relate to the various issues she encountered as they remain just as relevant today as they were when she experienced them. Highly recommended with caution for teens and young adults who may want to connect with the true story of a young woman who continued to rise above the odds and keep on keeping on when the going remained tough.

I apologize but I did not have time to read this book before the publication date but I enjoy the author and will definitely put a hold on at the library when it becomes available.  No review.

Unflinching, but very necessary.