What do you do after you've been in a brainwashing program and you're released into the world again as a fifteen year old? "We Can't Be Friends" by Cyndy Etler addresses her experiences after "The Dead Inside" as she reintegrates with the general populace with Straight, Inc. still in her head.
I really appreciated that we heard more of this story. Of course, at the end of "The Dead Inside", you're left thinking, "Thank goodness she got out! It must have been all stars and rainbows." This book clears up that misconception. Swinging from one end of the pendulum to another as she vies for acceptance and love, I wept for this girl as I read. This book is heart wrenchingly beautiful and ultimately leaves you with a feeling of hope while simultaneously telling a dark, relatable story.
I highly recommend it for anyone who read "The Dead Inside". If you haven't read the first book, you may find Cyndy's second story far-fetched and perhaps even not relatable. This is definitely best experienced as a duo.

Cyndy Etler's We Can't Be Friends: A True Story is a raw memoir of the author about her coming to high school after being locked up at Straight Inc. for sixteen months, enduring psychological abuse, spitting from other youths, and not being able to have contact with anything from the outside.

Not gonna lie, I wasn't thrilled when I started reading this.
Now, that may just be because this is the companion book to The Dead Inside, which I actually have not read yet.

So Cyndy Etler just spent 16 months in Straight Inc., a tough love rehab center. (I don't know much about the center because it's mostly addressed in the first book)
From what I gathered, Straight is a no bullshit center that mentally destroys the patients. They tear them down, calling them druggie. Including Cyndy who smoked pot once and had a sip of alcohol. They referred to her as a "dry druggie" meaning that she is addicted before she even had a choice. Which honestly I find ridiculous, but that's on the treatment center, not the author.

We Can't Be Friends picks up as Cyndy is getting out of Straight. She's still attending AA meetings, but how does a 15 year old make it through a meeting where she has no peers... She finds a young people addiction group which she begins attending and that starts her slippery slope with boys. These boys only want one thing, sex. Which she learns rather quickly that "no" meant virtually nothing to some of them, but it's okay because she felt loved for a few minutes.

This book also deals with a lot of popularity issues. The cover itself even begs the questions "How far will you go to fit in?" I feel like that's something every teenager goes through, which is why it was so relatable. No one wants to be the odd one out, everyone has to have someone and honestly I feel like that was one of the biggest overall topics for the book. You can't let others love you before you love yourself.

All in all, I think this was a testament to finding yourself, discovering who you want to be and how you want to get there.

Huge thank you to Sourcebooks Fire and NetGalley for providing me with a copy!
I'm currently working on getting an author Q&A with Cyndy herself!

Mark your calendars, We Can't Be Friends hits shelves October 3rd!

Cyndy Etler's previous memoir focused on her time being forced to attend a rehab facility (despite her lack of addictions). This focuses on her leaving Straight and attending high school and multiple addiction meetings under the continued impression that she is an addict. It's a tough read but if you have also had abusive parenting you can identify and feel for Cyndy. At the end of the book she speaks to teens about to care for themselves and it's great to see that she has come out of her experiences able to speak out and help young people.

Horrifically truthful, this book tells the true story of Cyndy Etler after her experience in a Rehab Center called Straight Inc.. After Cyndy’s release her life remains turbulent and the amount of times Cyndy mentioned she wished to return to the horror that was Straight left me sick inside.

The effect this book had on me was mostly psychological. I kept wanting to reach out to this girl that kept rushing into bad situation after bad situation and to just be there for her. To be one of the few people in her life that didn’t have some sort of ulterior motive. Gosh there are a couple of people I wanted to strangle for treating Cyndy the way they did. But I especially wanted to reach out when she called herself a druggie or when she felt like she wanted to go back to the hellhole that was Straight. That’s when I got really frustrated. Maybe even more then that though was when it felt like she had to do certain things to fit in or to be liked and that that hurt a lot to see.

My favorite parts of this book were the little lights of hope that came when she talked about those people who lead her into writing. Those parts made it so I couldn’t help but smile. It made me feel that now finally she is at the place where she is meant to be.

This book is inspiring because it is one where you know that despite her many struggle Cyndy made it out of Straight and eventually does start to heal and then goes on to write her story. This is hard book to read, but it is an important one and I am happy to have read it. What Cyndy went through was only one story out of the many Straightlings that entered through Straights halls and that’s the scary part, it was all real and it affected more kids then it ever should have.

We Can't Be Friends

A True Story



by Cyndy Etler

SOURCEBOOKS Fire

Sourcebooks Fire



Biographies & Memoirs , Teens & YA

Pub Date 03 Oct 2017

Disclaimer due to strong language, and intensive subject matters I would not reccomend this book to children under the age of fourteen.

I am voluntarily reviewing a copy of We Can't Be Friends through Sourcebooks Fire and Netgalley:

We Can't Be Friends is the follow up to Cyndy Etler's Memoir The Dead Inside.

We Can't Be Friends is the story of Cyndy Etler's adjustment from her time in Straight Inc, to home.

She talks about struggling with getting back into High-School life and the lack of support she gets from her family when she is first taken out of Straight Inc. She is surprised she doesn't get in trouble constantly at school because Straight Inc had been a place of constant punishment. In Straight the kids rarely got to see daylight.

But Cyndy struggled with issues with her weight to the point that she becomes thin enough that her period stops.

Cyndy Ehler talks about the temptations she faced and the struggles but also the triumphs.

I give this book four out of five stars.

Happy Reading!

I received this book from Netgalley. I honestly feel like this book took a lot of bravery to write. Cyndy is so amazing for sharing her story with us readers. I can't even imagine how tough it was for her to go through everything she did. She was so honest about everything, her 'addiction', her rapes, etc. This book was so interesting to me, I wanted to keep reading to make sure teen Cyndy turned out okay. I'm so glad to know that she's fine and that she's writing these great books for us to read. So proud of you

I was excited to get back into Cyndy's world--I had only recently finished The Dead Inside and was hoping this sequel would answer some of the questions I had--mainly, how does Cyndy "snap out" of her Straight brainwashing? While I thought this was an enjoyable read, I didn't exactly get the answer to my question. I also felt it was almost too realistic at times, and I"m VERY interested to know what her current relationship is with her mother. This book brought up more questions that just weren't answered--what happened with the baby sister? Why was Cyndy so shunned by EVERYONE? When does she get that "Eureka!" moment? I guess I have to wait for book three for those answers?

I did not realize that this was actually a true story until I was halfway through the book.

Loved, loved the storyline - not so much the characters (or in this case the people in it), but this was a gritty, tough, somewhat inspirational and honest book.

Cyndy Etler is not your normal kid. She’s been subjected to deprograming, molestation, rape, a bad home life and the rest of the baggage that comes with a troubled life. This book is based on her life story and experiences in her teen years. Set in the 80s, there were many references to pop culture and fads at the time really placing the reader in the story. Readers should be aware that the book contains language and explicit sexual content. While a very dark story, it kept you reading to find out how Cyndy would survive and make her life better. For those struggling with addictions or other difficult teen issues, this may be a good read for you.

Disclaimer: A free copy of this book was received through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Cyndy Etler got out of Straight Inc. a cult-like program masquerading a rehab. Cyndy thinks she is cured, but her troubles aren’t over. She enters her old school friendless and alone, and her new Straight ideologies aren’t helping her to fit in.

Etler tells a powerful story - hers. She tells it in a way where I often forgot I was reading real events. Her writing is rich, interesting and poignant. Etler always knew she was a writer and she is perhaps one of the best I have ever read. While it is just as easy to enjoy this book as it is to enjoy any contemporary fiction, it’s important to remember that this was real.

The Dead Inside ended where most stories like this end, getting out and away from the terrible abusive place. We Can’t Be Friends shows us that it isn’t over. Too many fiction stories end with a neat bow, the abuse is over so everything is okay. Etler’s voice is so important because things don’t just go away because they aren’t happening anymore. Etler writes about how she struggled to fit in, how she couldn’t imagine life outside of Straight, how she tried to find the love she never got everywhere, and sometimes those places ended up being the wrong places.

I said in my review of Etler’s previous novel “I do feel that the story was cut a little short.” and We Can’t Be Friends was what I wanted. This offers a far more satisfying end. You can see how Straightling Cyndy Etler becomes the brilliant author she is in the present. The transition period is made far more clear, even if much of the story was painful to read.

I ached for a young girl who felt she had no one to help her and in truth had very few resources. It’s heartbreaking to see parents who won’t help and friends or boys who turn cruel. Etler’s story is powerful and sad. It sheds a light on very real issues, some of which are still horrifyingly real.

Cyndy Etler has been through Hell. This is a story about how she made the first steps to recovery. She is brave, candid, fascinating and most importantly Cyndy Etler is a writer. You will get lost in her life as she tells you her story. It is rare that an author can tell their own story so vividly that it reads like a well-thought out piece of fiction but Etler provides one of the best-written memoirs I have yet to read.

Don’t stop after reading The Dead Inside because that is not the end of Cyndy’s story. It’s barely the beginning. Students, professional counsellors and ESPECIALLY parents of troubled teens need to read these two books. This in invaluable insight into the mind of a teenager struggling to survive and it shouldn’t be wasted.