4➕★
I did not ponder much whether a memoir about a beloved husband’s battle with pancreatic cancer and its inevitable outcome was a book topic I wanted to embrace. Generally speaking, who would?

The author and I are close in age and I’m a fan of her writing. There was much to relate to as we share many personality traits and quirks. Up to the half way mark I enjoyed the narrative chronicling life before Jim, and then how they met and married.
But then comes the diagnosis and treatment decisions and challenges. It’s brutal at times and heartbreaking, yet life-affirming at the same time.

At the point she mentions Atul Gawande’s essay Letting Go, I was recalling his excellent book Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End. Although at its core The Best of Us: A Memoir is a love story, it’s also a glimpse into an end many of us will have to face for ourselves or with someone we cherish. Perhaps there is a Jim or Joyce in your life walking this lonesome journey and you need to know what they are up against. Maybe you’re a Joyce and sharing her journey to the other side would lessen the sense of isolation that comes with so much devastation and loss. Could be you’re wasting precious time and need a wake up call.

She remembers “the days when we had all the time in the world” and writes if only we could “learn the lessons of cancer without having cancer.” This homage to a most courageous man and his choices and battles while living with dying might be a catalyst to take those lessons to heart and push beyond personal barriers. They loved to travel and had many plans to go places that were never realized. Near story’s end I broke down one of my own walls and purchased airline tickets to escape to somewhere I’ve never been before. Jim and Joyce will be in my thoughts when I get there. Perhaps, with gratitude in my heart, I’ll write their initials at some secret location. For now I’m going to go tell my husband how much I love him and that he should buy that guitar he’s been lusting after.

Thank you Joyce Maynard, NetGalley, & Bloomsbury publishing for this ARC which will be available Sept. 5, 2017

The Best of Us will stay with me for the rest of my life. Joyce Maynard's later-in-life love story resonated more deeply with me than did C.S.Lewis' 'Surprised By Joy'--and that says it all! The beauty of Maynard's writing provides the perfect framing for her memoir of love and loss. Brave enough to share her greatest fears and failings. Maynard's language from the heart captivated me and her struggles and triumphs had me reexamining my own life, finding new hope and opportunities in unexpected corners.

I loved this book and may have to track down Ms. Maynard at a live reading to get a hardcover copy signed--and I never do that!

Bravo Maynard--and thank you for writing on!

Catherine Finger

In a nut shell this is about Jim, Joyce and what they learnt as they travelled the weary path of battling pancreatic cancer.

Within the early stages of this book we are initially taken for a wander down a memory lane that shares with us the tender love story between Joyce and Jim, two independent, successful people who fell in love in their late 50’s. It’s the story of the changes made in the couple as they learn to lean on each other and support each other through what were trying, harrowing times.

Jim and Joyce found each other later in life. Joyce was determined to not let love and the institution of marriage change who she was as a person. If she wanted something, she didn’t discuss it with Jim, she just went ahead and did, from unimportant things as her work schedule to buying a house, sight unseen on the other side of the country. Jim was a lawyer who very much enjoyed the good life that such an income could afford for him. On paper it would seem that they weren’t a match, but real life is tricky and plays games with us and sets aflame the heart’s desire. They married each other in a romantic setting surrounded by love and family.

A year into the marriage Jim was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Of all cancers, it’s one of the cancers that you really don’t want. This then covers the bulk of the story, in which Joyce describes the journey from denial to acceptance and then the actuality of death over the course of nineteen months. It is heartbreaking and searing in its honesty. It is, however, an indictment to the American health system and how the rich can afford health care. It would have been a very different story if they hadn’t been rich and able to afford travelling from one side of the country to the other seeking out the best surgeons and medical treatment money could buy.

This story is more than the journey Joyce and Jim travelled as they fought to preserve his life. It shows clearly the journey Joyce took in becoming a better human being, committed to another person’s welfare ahead of her own whims and fancies. It reveals layer by layer the desperation she felt as she watched helplessly as cancer stole her husband away from her. It shows her growing dependence upon and need for her husband and further when he couldn’t fulfil the role he wanted to for her.

It is a moving tribute to a once in a lifetime kind of love story. It examines both the tribulation and the trials of bad news and it celebrates whole heartedly the good news and the moments of success against this creeping killer. It never strays into sugary sentimentally and yet it truly reveals the agonising hell that cancer is. This is not a romanticised look at cancer. It’s raw and painful and the journey is a weary one, and it doesn’t end with a happily ever after. It is well worth the read.

This book was a beautiful love story with such a tragic ending. It broke my heart and I wish there would have been many more years for y'all to be together.

Honestly before this book review I knew of this author's name, Joyce Maynard, but I didn't know anything about her. I do love her honest, no holds barred, writing style. She is a person that gets straight to the point, although at times in this book I struggled to stay pulled into her world, as she so obviously wanted us to be. I love memoirs so I was pulled into reading this books as soon as I saw it was a memoir and as soon as I read the back story.
This book goes through the story of Joyce's marriage to the love of her life, Jim Barringer. Jim and Joyce meet through an online dating forum. From the first time they speak they have a connection, which will not too much later, develop into love. It's a love that Joyce feels is real and true, especially in Jim's case, which is why she accepts his proposal of marriage.
Not long after they are united in marriage they become united in the fight to defeat Jim's diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. It's a fight that most people who get this form of cancer, do not win, but Joyce can not give up. They go through treatment after treatment, including the well known painful Whipple Surgery, to no avail. Unfortunately, Jim succumbs to Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, with Joyce by his side, which is where she stayed all throughout his battle.
As I stated earlier, I love her writing style, but at times the story felt like it was being drawn out and I couldn't stay focused. Her story was one I will not forget, because it touched my heart. To watch a loved one suffer can be unbearable. I have seen a loved one die from a long drawn out illness, but never cancer. I feel like she described this with such detail I almost felt like I was there, which was good and bad. I hurt just thinking about what she went through, and how life must have changed so much with her "guard dog" gone.
I would definitely recommend this book to people who love memoirs and those who just want to give it a try, because it's definitely worth it.

As a NYT bestselling novelist and memoirist, Joyce Maynard shares the chasm between tender happiness and searing heartbreak in her memorable love story, “The Best of Us: A Memoir.” When Maynard married for the second time, at age 59, she had no way of knowing time with her beloved second husband would not be long, Jim’s life would be cut so short, after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Before Maynard met Jim, her life as a successful author was busy-- she traveled internationally on various writing assignments, taught writing workshops, and spent time visiting family and friends. The relationships with the men she dated, hadn’t worked out leaving an empty loneliness.
There was an acceptable trend for single women to adopt children from foreign and third world countries. Many celebrities are often seen happily pictured in the media with their adopted children. Maynard wrote candidly about her adopted African daughters, and revealed a side to these families people seldom hear about.

Maynard found the love of her life with Jim, an attorney, a divorced father of three adult children. Maynard, long ago divorced, also had three adult children. With Jim, their life together was soon full of excitement, fun and travel as they combined their lives together. Both were transformed and united in a genuine loving connection. It didn’t seem like Jim’s daughter or son accepted her very well. Maynard overlooked Jim’s son’s immaturity and terrible rudeness on their wedding day, refusing to let anyone or anything spoil the occasion of their beautiful day.

After Jim’s diagnosis, we realize this couple had the means to afford the best doctors and treatments available Travel from one part of the country to another was stressful enough. Some of the treatments (available to wealthy patients) seemed experimental. Their newly purchased home in Hunsaker Canyon sounded really nice, the dreams they had for family visits including grandchildren, were hopeful.
Although Maynard’s story was heavy with Jim’s diagnosis of Adenocarcinoma pancreatic cancer, (the worst kind)—Neuroendocrine cancer, the easier type to treat, is what claimed the life of Steve Jobs. The message of their strong enduring love will live in memory and warm her heart for the rest of her life.
*With thanks and appreciation to Bloomsbury USA via NetGalley for the direct e-copy for the purpose of review.

In 2011, when she was in her late fifties, beloved author and journalist Joyce Maynard met the first true partner she had ever known. Jim wore a rakish hat over a good head of hair; he asked real questions and gave real answers; he loved to see Joyce shine, both in and out of the spotlight; and he didn’t mind the mess she made in the kitchen. He was not the husband Joyce imagined, but he quickly became the partner she had always dreamed of.

Before they met, both had believed they were done with marriage, and even after they married, Joyce resolved that no one could alter her course of determined independence. Then, just after their one-year wedding anniversary, her new husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. During the nineteen months that followed, as they battled his illness together, she discovered for the first time what it really meant to be a couple–to be a true partner and to have one.

My Thoughts: I am a big fan of the author, and have read a couple of her memoirs already, so I was happy for the opportunity to travel with her and her husband on this journey.

I could relate to being single a long time after a previous marriage, and how sharing one’s life with a partner, even someone you truly love, would have its adjustments.

Imagine, then, that once the two of them had found compromises and wonderful ways to be together, how truly devastating such a diagnosis would be. I admired the way they made a full time job out of searching for treatments, and how this new journey in their partnership would open up new ways to be together. Their “new normal” was not what they had wished for, but it was what they had. And they were together, working toward a common goal.

One thing I’ve learned about Joyce Maynard’s writing: she speaks her truth, even if it does not always put her in a flattering light. She tells of her flaws and foibles, her missteps, and even the negative feelings she might have about her situation. Who wouldn’t want a less challenging road to travel? But it was their road together, so it would be the path she treasured.

As death drew close, the author writes: “I was a different person than the woman I’d been eighteen months earlier. Grief and pain had been harsh, but they had served as teachers. We had been through a conflagration, the two of us, and I would have given anything to have avoided it, but we’d emerged like two blackened vessels from the forge.” The ordeal “had turned us into two people we might never have become if the disease had spared Jim. Better ones, though only one of us would survive this.”

As I reached the final page of The Best of Us, tears flowed as I took in the beauty of a love discovered later in life, a love that lasted just a few years, but turned out to be a forever love. 5 stars.
***My e-ARC came from the publisher via NetGalley.

Joyce Maynard is a controversial figure in literature but that doesn't make her unworthy of love. Luckily, she fell in love in her 50s, but as is often the case - the love ends in a heartbreak with the death of her love, Jim.

The Best of Us is Joyce's story on her journey to find Jim and the journey after Jim, It's heartbreaking and honest. Kudos to Joyce for being so open.

Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and Joyce Maynard for the opportunity to read and review this book.

I was unfamiliar with Jocye Maynard's previous works and thus came to this one with no expectations. I find that her style draws the reader in right way. I saw somewhat of a kindred spirit in Joyce's descriptions of her hard won, independent life; a life that she was loathe to give up, even for a man that she deeply loved. I loved the way the story unfolded, first the journey through Joyce and Jim's meeting and the early days of their relationship, their families, their careers, their adventures, all of things that were so important to them in their BEFORE life. Then comes the diagnosis of cancer and everything in their lives becomes about beating, treating, and living with the disease. Joyce's honesty about her life, her feelings, her frustrations was heartrending and beautiful. Although her story is difficult and at times very, very sad, I still saw it as a story of hope. It definitely made me interested in reading her other works and I will be picking up some of her earlier memoirs.

Reading a 'personal experience' book seemed like a good idea at the time. Some years back, a member of my family had a bout with pancreatic cancer, and I was curious how others went through the process. But the disease is both an uphill battle and an uphill climb. I almost put this book down a couple of times but am glad I didn't. Maynard's writing is clear and honest, sleek yet warm. She lures the reader inside her relationship with Jim, her husband, the patient, and brings him so alive that the reader comes to mourn him too. I learned some things about the disease, the procedures, and a great deal about deep relationships that work and why they do. This book is honest, reflective,, informative, and well-written. Can't ask for more than that.

This is indeed a poignant story of a marriage cut short by a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and for the author, a catharsis and a validation of everything they did to prolong her husband's life. However, as someone who has lost dear friends to the same disease, I kept thinking of most people who do not have the luxury to shop doctors, take wonderful trips, and search for cutting edge treatments, traveling across the continent several times. Was his quality of life worth it? However, her writing is heart-felt and candid.

Fans of Maynard will enjoy this latest memoir about the love and death of her second husband.

Thank you for netgalley for providing me an advance copy of this book in exchange for a fair review.

I read Joyce Maynard's book "At Home in the World" when it came out. I enjoyed reading about the story of a young promising writer meeting the famous J.D. Salinger and then living with him. Once upon a time, I had writing aspirations and a love for Holden Caulfield, so I understood how Maynard fell for Salinger. I felt it was sleazy for Salinger to exploit the very young Maynard. When I had the opportunity to read this book, I jumped on it, remembering how I had a favorable opinion of Maynard's prior work.

This book is a much sadder tome. It outlines Maynard's love affair, marriage and then death of her husband. Maynard's personality and aspirations are completely opposite to my own. I found myself not liking her or her new husband very much. I found reading about her trips, wine, fancy houses, cars and watches to be tedious. The story about her adoptive children was very sad. Maynard is clearly very impetuous and doesn't think things through before she jumps to the next new thing whether it is a child or a house.

I do admire Joyce Maynard and her husband for not succumbing to the lure of fad medicine. They did dabble with diet and "Dr. Miracle" but for stuck with the traditional treatment protocols. I also appreciated Maynard's thoughtful consideration as to whether extreme surgeries such as the Whipple procedure are the best choices. The Whipple surgery always alters the quality of the patient's life but only rarely cures the pancreatic cancer that it is meant to treat. Are a few extra months of life worth the pain the surgery inflicts? I felt these discussions were the best part of the book.

Joyce Maynard's memoir is compelling as she shares her intimate experience with her husband's battle with cancer. I would experience fleeting moments where I'd wish I'm reading a work of fiction and the pain is not real.
But it is very real....raw....heartbreaking...
We are reminded to treasure the things in life that truly matter such as family, love, a sunrise, a gentle touch....

I received this advanced copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Joyce Maynard's memoir of her time with her late husband before and during his cancer is deeply personal and extremely precise. For me, it was a bit of a slow start with loads of background information, but I feel like she wrote this more for herself, her family, and her friends. This is her way to remember and immortalize her husband, the great love of her life who she met later in life.

I felt like I could hear her voice through the pages -- as if she was sitting at a table across from me -- even though this wasn't an audio book. I feel privileged to have read her story, even when it did get repetitive and when the unfortunate outcome was clear.

I think this is a memoir that will deeply impact anyone who reads it, but especially so if they've experienced cancer in a personal way.

I'm now following Joyce on Facebook, and if she comes through Philadelphia on a book tour, I'd love to meet her.

This is very well written. I don't feel I can really review the book because this is the writer and the love of her life's' story. Who am I to say they should have done something different or more or less. It is sweet, tender and heart wrenching. What a great web of supporters they found some of which they never met in person. It's funny- Joyce gets angry when store clerks, office workers keep asking how her day is going or to "have a good day " or what plans she has for the weekend. She just wants to scream she's having the worst day of her life or that her husband has constant diarrhea or can't eat without excruciating pain. How can I review this very real story? Yes I would recommend to family and friends or anyone I know with a loved one going through the terrible roller coaster known as cancer. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read an advance copy for my honest review.

Joyce Maynard made me feel like I was in the novel and a visitor along for the ride. From the 1st page all the way through to the last paragraph, I felt the devastating blow of pancreatic cancer diagnosis and their year and a half hard fought battle against the ugly, painful disease of cancer. I have loved every novel of hers and The Best of us is no different. You will feel every emotion, every devastating setback and the love between husband and wife, if this doesn't make you feel.. you may not have the ability to.

I thought I knew what to expect when I requested this one from NetGalley but it was much more heart wrenching. The story was told with such brutal honesty that you couldn't help but feel for the author. This will stay with me for a while, I'm sure.

Be Best of Us is such a well-written memoir - but honestly, hard for me to read at times.
This book is just so raw and real that at times, it was almost too much to bear.

Believing that you are at the point of never finding love, I think for many of us is quite real.
Finding love and thinking you are going to be happy and together the rest of your life is a dream come true for some. Then losing it - the pain is unbearable.

Reading this, I felt like I was on this journey with her - the highs and lows.

Thank you NetGalley for this wonderful opportunity, and thank you, Joyce Maynard, for sharing your life with me.