I thank NetGalley and Bloomsbury Publishing for a prepublication copy of this book. Maynard is an excellent writer so I asked to review this memoir.  As usual, she writes well – clear, descriptive, incisive.   However, this book is very difficult for me to review because I like her novels so much – and this book is something else.  There were three parts for me.  The first part details where she was in life.  She had been divorced for decades, her children were grown, she was living in Marin county in a lovely home, had a second home in Guatemala, and was dating whatever came along on internet dating sites.  She moved from one man to another within hours, always looking for the perfect marriage partner that she knew existed from her dreams, from tv or her imagination.
There is a very funny part where she was on one of these dates and the guy asked her to go to dinner on Friday.  She responded that she could not because she would be in Italy (at a days long writing seminar – paid for by her Italian publisher).  He said, “Take me along,” and she said ok – not even knowing this guy’s middle name.  He showed up, hot, angry, unwilling to participate in any of the activities of the seminar.  After 4 days and advice from a fellow participant, she told him to leave.  He did with foul, mean language and left her his bar and restaurant bills.  
At this point, I was ready to give up on the book.  Did I really want to read about all her wretched immature sexual adventures?  But I stayed with it for a few more pages because I could not believe that Maynard could fill a whole book with such drivel. 
Second part – she agreed to other internet dates, including a man named Jim who said in his self-description that he was Jimbunctious.  (I did not make this up.)  She was so busy with other men that she could not give time to Jim.  After a couple of attempts at dates and some soul-searching and an initial lengthy phone call, they decided that they will be a couple.  We then get pages of lively description of how much they are in love and the
wonderful adventurous life they live. They hike, they swim, they travel the world and sit out on the patio at sunset and talk. They went to her home in Guatemala She bought a farm in New England with land where they will settle forever.  They got married there.  Her three children love him; his three children are pretty cool to her at first.  They hiked, swam nude, rode motorcycles, did outrageous things and were on their way home one night when Jim told her that he was in pain.   
	Part Three – a few days later, Jim was in terrible pain so they headed off to the doctor to start a year and a half search/exploration for a cure; they searched for the right doctors, treatments, alternative doctors, clinics, drugs, just one more treatment while Jim fought pancreatic cancer.  Maynard gives us blow-by-blow of this fight.  This final section is so tiring, perhaps because it is obvious that Jim is not improving and they seem to have such false hope.  
For two adult educated people (Jim is an attorney) to spend so much time and money and effort when the outcome is so obvious was not realistic.  Go home, enjoy yourselves and do anything you can and take the hand you were dealt.  
	So, the first part rates a 2/5 because there is some real humor there, the second fantasy part gets a 5/5 because she describes such endearing love and attention.  The last part gets a 3/5 for determination.  Overall, I gave it a 4 out of 5 but I would not read it again. 
Frankly, I think a lot of book clubs would enjoy discussing this book, mainly because of some parts I have not detailed in this review.  The book covers love, some really touching moments, anger, frustration, death, second marriages and merged families, perfect companions and searching for the miracle cure.  Who doesn’t want that?

I've been reading Maynard from the beginning (what a long time that is!) and I've always liked her non-fiction better than her fiction.  Her life has always been her best, if sometimes exploitative, subject so I had high hopes that her book on the sad journey she took with Jim would be as well written and thought provoking as it turned out to be.  True, Maynard and Jim had the financial resources most do not, which allowed them to have adventures and experiences, but can anyone begrudge a dying man the opportunity to do whatever he can?  Can anyone fault Maynard for sharing this?  I can't.  This is a hard book to read, like others of the genre, but it was important to me to read it because honestly it's another chapter in the life of a woman I feel I've grown to know.  If you have read her before, you'll recognize her straightforward style.  Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC.  This doesn't have a happy ending but there is joy laced in and out.

Reviewed on goodreads.  Story is very personal to me. I went through the same thing with my beloved husband who died around the time Jim died. Joyce articulates so many of my feelings and thoughts.  You feel like you may be going crazy for some of them.  PC is brutal beyond belief.  It was a hard reading for me but also a bit of comfort.

The Best of Us by Joyce Maynard is a free NetGalley ebook that I read in late July.

The author meets her 2nd husband, Jim, on match.com and tells of his awesome, athletic, thoughtful personality and their honest, meaningful conversations, their own written vows, and world travels alongside stories from her own life during the writing and production of 'Labor Day' as a book and film. However, two and a half years after their marriage, Jim was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and goes through a series of doctors, vacations, diets, and treatments before his Whipple procedure surgery to remove a tumor near a vital vein. The story turns very emotive and heartfelt, and I felt a whole lot of sympathy for Maynard and her being responsible "for the museum of Jim."

This memoir is a later-in-life love story between Joyce and Jim, who passed away last year. Joyce writes honestly and beautifully - I love her 'voice". Her story is full of a passion and zest for life, with hard-won wisdom about what a partnership really means. By the end I felt I knew Joyce and Jim and I cried at her loss. 

Joyce found Jim, her soul-mate, in her late 50's, after being alone for 25 years. They married, and were dealt a devastating diagnosis after only a year of marriage. As with any love story, there are highs and lows, moments that are flattering and not-so-flattering. Joyce tells it like it is, she speaks the truth and doesn't spare herself. It's a portrait of a marriage between two imperfect people who adored each other, and reinforces the hope that's its never too late. 

Unfortunately, its also a story of navigating the reality of pancreatic cancer, with the physical and emotional toll on both patient and caregiver. The denial, the false hope, the endless hours of research, the selective hearing of patients and loved ones, and the trips to the top surgeons and oncologists - plus the fraudulent unnamed "Dr. Miracle". Joyce questions now if every decision was the wisest. The burden on the patient and family to navigate these choices when there are differing opinions among medical professionals is tough and hindsight is always 20/20. When is it time to say enough? Were the surgeries and treatments worth it? Are doctors 100% honest about the benefits/risks and the chance of success? But refusing treatment or surgery when you have that sliver of hope is tough....there are no easy answers when you're in the midst of making these choices. I do know if I had cancer I'd want Joyce to be my advocate - she is a force of nature and unstoppable.

But this book isn't all about illness, it's also a joyful book about loving life and living with abandon and generosity of spirit. For those who aren't dealing with end of life issues (yet - we all will sooner or later.) the take-away is to embrace the moments and people in your life, take nothing for granted. Knowing what Joyce had with Jim made the loss even more heartbreaking. To find such love after so many years, only to have it snatched from you in such a cruel way.

I read this cover to cover in one day and that's with spending 5 hours with my elderly mother. I'm not sure Joyce would approve not being totally present while reading on my iPhone app as mom considered her next Scrabble move - lol - but I couldn't tear myself away. 

I first read a novel by Maynard this past year, loved it, so quickly read a second. I then found her on FB and was touched by her heartfelt posts about her husband's illness and death. So when I received an e-mail from Netgalley I eagerly snapped it up. I am so glad I did.

A stunningly moving memoir. So honest and raw and thought provoking and sad. Much more actually.  The kind of book you never want to end. Thank you Joyce Maynard for showing me ways to get through life! And thanks to NetGalley for the arc.

4➕★
I did not ponder much whether a memoir about a beloved husband’s battle with pancreatic cancer and its inevitable outcome was a book topic I wanted to embrace. Generally speaking, who would?

The author and I are close in age and I’m a fan of her writing. There was much to relate to as we share many personality traits and quirks. Up to the half way mark I enjoyed the narrative chronicling life before Jim, and then how they met and married.
But then comes the diagnosis and treatment decisions and challenges. It’s brutal at times and heartbreaking, yet life-affirming at the same time.

At the point she mentions Atul Gawande’s essay Letting Go, I was recalling his excellent book Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End. Although at its core The Best of Us: A Memoir is a love story, it’s also a glimpse into an end many of us will have to face for ourselves or with someone we cherish. Perhaps there is a Jim or Joyce in your life walking this lonesome journey and you need to know what they are up against. Maybe you’re a Joyce and sharing her journey to the other side would lessen the sense of isolation that comes with so much devastation and loss. Could be you’re wasting precious time and need a wake up call.

She remembers “the days when we had all the time in the world” and writes if only we could “learn the lessons of cancer without having cancer.” This homage to a most courageous man and his choices and battles while living with dying might be a catalyst to take those lessons to heart and push beyond personal barriers. They loved to travel and had many plans to go places that were never realized. Near story’s end I broke down one of my own walls and purchased airline tickets to escape to somewhere I’ve never been before. Jim and Joyce will be in my thoughts when I get there. Perhaps, with gratitude in my heart, I’ll write their initials at some secret location. For now I’m going to go tell my husband how much I love him and that he should buy that guitar he’s been lusting after.

Thank you Joyce Maynard, NetGalley, & Bloomsbury publishing for this ARC which will be available Sept. 5, 2017

The Best of Us will stay with me for the rest of my life. Joyce Maynard's later-in-life love story resonated more deeply with me than did C.S.Lewis' 'Surprised By Joy'--and that says it all! The beauty of Maynard's writing provides the perfect framing for her memoir of love and loss. Brave enough to share her greatest fears and failings. Maynard's language from the heart captivated me and her struggles and triumphs had me reexamining my own life, finding new hope and opportunities in unexpected corners.

I loved this book and may have to track down Ms. Maynard at a live reading to get a hardcover copy signed--and I never do that! 

Bravo Maynard--and thank you for writing on!

Catherine Finger

In a nut shell this is about Jim, Joyce and what they learnt as they travelled the weary path of battling pancreatic cancer.

Within the early stages of this book we are initially taken for a wander down a memory lane that shares with us the tender love story between Joyce and Jim, two independent, successful people who fell in love in their late 50’s. It’s the story of the changes made in the couple as they learn to lean on each other and support each other through what were trying, harrowing times. 

Jim and Joyce found each other later in life.  Joyce was determined to not let love and the institution of marriage change who she was as a person. If she wanted something, she didn’t discuss it with Jim, she just went ahead and did, from unimportant things as her work schedule to buying a house, sight unseen on the other side of the country. Jim was a lawyer who very much enjoyed the good life that such an income could afford for him. On paper it would seem that they weren’t a match, but real life is tricky and plays games with us and sets aflame the heart’s desire. They married each other in a romantic setting surrounded by love and family. 

A year into the marriage Jim was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Of all cancers, it’s one of the cancers that you really don’t want. This then covers the bulk of the story, in which Joyce describes the journey from denial to acceptance and then the actuality of death over the course of nineteen months. It is heartbreaking and searing in its honesty. It is, however,  an indictment to the American health system and how the rich can afford health care. It would have been a very different story if they hadn’t been rich and able to afford travelling from one side of the country to the other seeking out the best surgeons and medical treatment money could buy. 

This story is more than the journey Joyce and Jim travelled as they fought to preserve his life. It shows clearly the journey Joyce took in becoming a better human being, committed to another person’s welfare ahead of her own whims and fancies. It reveals layer by layer the desperation she felt as she watched helplessly as cancer stole her husband away from her.  It shows her growing dependence upon and need for her husband and further when he couldn’t fulfil the role he wanted to for her.

It is a moving tribute to a once in a lifetime kind of love story.  It examines both the tribulation and the trials of bad news and it celebrates whole heartedly the good news and the moments of success against this creeping killer.  It never strays into sugary sentimentally and yet it truly reveals the agonising hell that cancer is. This is not a romanticised look at cancer.  It’s raw and painful and the journey is a weary one, and it doesn’t end with a happily ever after.  It is well worth the read.

This book was a beautiful love story with such a tragic ending. It broke my heart and I wish there would have been many more years for y'all to be together.

This was a well written and heartfelt book. I could relate to Joyce's journey to finding love later in life as I am single at 53 years old and it has not been an easy road. Their love story is beautiful and sad. I cannot imagine losing someone I love that much.

Honestly before this book review I knew of this author's name, Joyce Maynard, but I didn't know anything about her.  I do love her honest, no holds barred, writing style. She is a person that gets straight to the point, although at times in this book I struggled to stay pulled into her world, as she so obviously wanted us to be.  I love memoirs so I was pulled into reading this books as soon as I saw it was a memoir and as soon as I read the back story. 
This book goes through the story of Joyce's marriage to the love of her life, Jim Barringer.  Jim and Joyce meet through an online dating forum.  From the first time they speak they have a connection, which will not too much later, develop into love. It's a love that Joyce feels is real and true, especially in Jim's case, which is why she accepts his proposal of marriage.  
Not long after they are united in marriage they become united in the fight to defeat Jim's diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.  It's a fight that most people who get this form of cancer, do not win, but Joyce can not give up. They go through treatment after treatment, including the well known painful Whipple Surgery, to no avail.  Unfortunately,  Jim succumbs to Stage 4 pancreatic cancer,  with Joyce by his side, which is where she stayed all throughout his battle.  
As I stated earlier, I love her writing style, but at times the story felt like it was being drawn out and I couldn't stay focused. Her story was one I will not forget, because it touched my heart. To watch a loved one suffer can be unbearable.  I have seen a loved one die from a long drawn out illness, but never cancer. I feel like she described this with such detail I almost felt like I was there, which was good and bad. I hurt just thinking about what she went through, and how life must have changed so much with her "guard dog" gone. 
I would definitely recommend this book to people who love memoirs and those who just want to give it a try, because it's definitely worth it.

As a NYT bestselling novelist and memoirist, Joyce Maynard shares the chasm between tender happiness and searing heartbreak in her memorable love story, “The Best of Us: A Memoir.” When Maynard married for the second time, at age 59, she had no way of knowing time with her beloved second husband would not be long, Jim’s life would be cut so short, after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Before Maynard met Jim, her life as a successful author was busy-- she traveled internationally on various writing assignments, taught writing workshops, and spent time visiting family and friends. The relationships with the men she dated, hadn’t worked out leaving an empty loneliness. 
There was an acceptable trend for single women to adopt children from foreign and third world countries. Many celebrities are often seen happily pictured in the media with their adopted children. Maynard wrote candidly about her adopted African daughters, and revealed a side to these families people seldom hear about.

Maynard found the love of her life with Jim, an attorney, a divorced father of three adult children. Maynard, long ago divorced, also had three adult children. With Jim, their life together was soon full of excitement, fun and travel as they combined their lives together. Both were transformed and united in a genuine loving connection. It didn’t seem like Jim’s daughter or son accepted her very well. Maynard overlooked Jim’s son’s immaturity and terrible rudeness on their wedding day, refusing to let anyone or anything spoil the occasion of their beautiful day.  

After Jim’s diagnosis, we realize this couple had the means to afford the best doctors and treatments available Travel from one part of the country to another was stressful enough. Some of the treatments (available to wealthy patients) seemed experimental. Their newly purchased home in Hunsaker Canyon sounded really nice, the dreams they had for family visits including grandchildren, were hopeful. 
Although Maynard’s story was heavy with Jim’s diagnosis of Adenocarcinoma pancreatic cancer, (the worst kind)—Neuroendocrine cancer, the easier type to treat, is what claimed the life of Steve Jobs. The message of their strong enduring love will live in memory and warm her heart for the rest of her life.   
*With thanks and appreciation to Bloomsbury USA via NetGalley for the direct e-copy for the purpose of review.

In 2011, when she was in her late fifties, beloved author and journalist Joyce Maynard met the first true partner she had ever known. Jim wore a rakish hat over a good head of hair; he asked real questions and gave real answers; he loved to see Joyce shine, both in and out of the spotlight; and he didn’t mind the mess she made in the kitchen. He was not the husband Joyce imagined, but he quickly became the partner she had always dreamed of.

    Before they met, both had believed they were done with marriage, and even after they married, Joyce resolved that no one could alter her course of determined independence. Then, just after their one-year wedding anniversary, her new husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. During the nineteen months that followed, as they battled his illness together, she discovered for the first time what it really meant to be a couple–to be a true partner and to have one.

My Thoughts: I am a big fan of the author, and have read a couple of her memoirs already, so I was happy for the opportunity to travel with her and her husband on this journey.

I could relate to being single a long time after a previous marriage, and how sharing one’s life with a partner, even someone you truly love, would have its adjustments.

Imagine, then, that once the two of them had found compromises and wonderful ways to be together, how truly devastating such a diagnosis would be. I admired the way they made a full time job out of searching for treatments, and how this new journey in their partnership would open up new ways to be together. Their “new normal” was not what they had wished for, but it was what they had. And they were together, working toward a common goal.

One thing I’ve learned about Joyce Maynard’s writing: she speaks her truth, even if it does not always put her in a flattering light. She tells of her flaws and foibles, her missteps, and even the negative feelings she might have about her situation. Who wouldn’t want a less challenging road to travel? But it was their road together, so it would be the path she treasured.

As death drew close, the author writes: “I was a different person than the woman I’d been eighteen months earlier. Grief and pain had been harsh, but they had served as teachers. We had been through a conflagration, the two of us, and I would have given anything to have avoided it, but we’d emerged like two blackened vessels from the forge.” The ordeal “had turned us into two people we might never have become if the disease had spared Jim. Better ones, though only one of us would survive this.”

As I reached the final page of The Best of Us, tears flowed as I took in the beauty of a love discovered later in life, a love that lasted just a few years, but turned out to be a forever love. 5 stars.
***My e-ARC came from the publisher via NetGalley.

Joyce Maynard is a controversial figure in literature but that doesn't make her unworthy of love. Luckily, she fell in love in her 50s, but as is often the case - the love ends in a heartbreak with the death of her love, Jim.

The Best of Us is Joyce's story on her journey to find Jim and the journey after Jim,  It's heartbreaking and honest. Kudos to Joyce for being so open.

Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and Joyce Maynard for the opportunity to read and review this book.

After meeting and marrying her soul-mate after a previous failed marriage and years of looking, Joyce Maynard new husband is found to have cancer. Sad story but a wonderful story of how they loved each other and grew to develop a deeper relationship because of their trials..

I was unfamiliar with Jocye Maynard's previous works and thus came to this one with no expectations. I find that her style draws the reader in right way. I saw somewhat of a kindred spirit in Joyce's descriptions of her hard won, independent life; a life that she was loathe to give up, even for a man that she deeply loved. I loved the way the story unfolded, first the journey through Joyce and Jim's meeting and the early days of their relationship, their families, their careers, their adventures, all of things that were so important to them in their BEFORE life. Then comes the diagnosis of cancer and everything in their lives becomes about beating, treating, and living with the disease. Joyce's honesty about her life, her feelings, her frustrations was heartrending and beautiful. Although her story is difficult and at times very, very sad, I still saw it as a story of hope. It definitely made me interested in reading her other works and I will be picking up some of her earlier memoirs.

Reading a 'personal experience' book seemed like a good idea at the time. Some years back, a member of my family had a bout with pancreatic cancer, and I was curious how others went through the process. But the disease is both an uphill battle and an uphill climb. I almost put this book down a couple of times but am glad I didn't. Maynard's writing is clear and honest, sleek yet warm. She lures the reader inside her relationship with Jim, her husband, the patient, and brings him so alive that the reader comes to mourn him too. I learned some things about the disease, the procedures, and a great deal about deep relationships that work and why they do. This book is honest, reflective,, informative, and well-written. Can't ask for more than that.

This is indeed a poignant story of a marriage cut short by a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and for the author, a catharsis and a validation of everything they did to prolong her husband's life. However, as someone who has lost dear friends to the same disease, I kept thinking of most people who do not have the luxury to shop doctors, take wonderful trips, and search for cutting edge treatments, traveling across the continent several times. Was his quality of life worth it?  However, her writing is heart-felt and candid.