Cover Image: The Secret Lives of Introverts

The Secret Lives of Introverts

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Member Reviews

This book gives an insider view of the introvert’s inner world and offers tips on leading life as an introvert. Although I was aware of most of the content because I’ve been actively reading up on the topic, it was still a good read. If you are someone who hasn't checked out Introvert, Dear and other similar sites, you will enjoy it more.

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I didn't feel like I learnt much from this book. I already knew that I was an introvert and had read around the subject. I would say this title is more for someone who doesn't understand what an introvert really is and would be a good introduction in that respect.

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For someone discovering for the first time what introversion is, I think that book could help a lot since it gives a lot of advices as well as testimonies from introverted people. But as someone who is already familiar with the subject, the book didn’t teach me anything new. But I would still recommend it to introverted people since the book covers a lot of subjects such as what introversion is but also introversion in love or at work.

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It's an intersting look at what makes an introvert. As one, it was cool reading all the aspects of a fellow introvert. There are parts that I just skimmed because I didn't care about or because I didn't understand and I focused on what I could actually get. It's a good read, info-filled, worth the time.

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i really wish i could give this book to all the people in my life that don't understand that it actually is a big deal for me to do specific things and go into some situations that they handle effortlessly. If only those people would be willing to read this type of book!

i Personally really enjoyed seeing other people having similar "problems" with some social situations or other people in general. Its nice to read and with that see that i am not alone with those things and they they are actually not really problems or issues but rather just something that a lot of people have to try and work with or around since sadly our world is build around the half of people that have no problems being loud and about.

Good and informative read!

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At the moment I will only give a rating to the book and I hope it is possible for me to write down my reviews on Amazon. Barnes and Noble and Goodreads. I am very grateful to you because your publications are great, especially in the topics that interest me most. Thanks and blessings.

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The Secret Lives of Introverts explains why introverts behave in the way that they do, but also with tips to navigate life's challenges such as work, love and play. I wasn't sure that I would learn much from this book, as I was an introvert but could handle living in an extrovert's world (just), but explanations of how our brains operate, looking at our rich inner world and most interestingly for me, how to deal with 'an introvert hangover' was fascinating. With Jenn Granneman's anecdotes on how to deal with situations and encouragement to be who we are, I really enjoyed this book and I will certainly be looking at this again and again for help when I need it. I look forward to seeing what else Jenn writes.

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Not to brag or anything but my platinum Introvert membership card was recently upgraded to diamond status by scoring 100% on Jenn Granneman's signs I may be an introvert. You're more than welcome to join our club. We meet in a quiet coffee shop that's closed to the general public during our meeting once every blue moon when all three of the people of our offshoot of the organisation hasn't already had too many meetings or been peopled out that week. Actually, you're more likely to find us at home reading or Netflix and chilling (although chances are we are really binge watching and relaxing) and texting you.

Famous introverts are listed in this book and include J.K. Rowling, Felicia Day, Audrey Hepburn, Dr Seuss, Ernest Hemingway and Steve Wozniak, so if you've ever had introvert shame, throw it off and know you're in excellent company. If you're not sure if you are an introvert, some of the following may be signs that you are:
* "You do your best thinking when you're alone"
* "You often feel lonelier in a crowd than when you're alone"
* "You're better at writing your thoughts than speaking them"
* "You avoid small talk whenever possible".

If you're not an introvert yourself then I'm sure you know one. We're the blur you see escaping social events after our social meter maxes out. We're the ones who will be incredibly passionate and talk with you at length if you've managed to navigate your way through the labyrinth, cross the disintegrating rope bridge suspended above the lava lake and scale the mountain past the dragons to reach our inner core of trust. If you'll failed to make your way into our inner friendship sanctum then we will most likely struggle to provide a coherent one word answer to your questions. Or maybe that's just me??

Jenn's message to the world is that it's okay to be an introvert. I've personally celebrated my superstar introvert powers for many years, despite the extrovert evangelists surrounding me telling me I wasn't good enough, chatty enough, smiley enough, basically any kind of enough. Seriously, they were actual evangelists, pastors even, who loved to tell me in great detail how much I sucked because I didn't fit their mould. Needless to say, they're happily hanging out in their mould and I broke away from their abuse (yep, claiming it for what it was) and I've never been more at peace with myself than I am now. I definitely don't see horns on every extrovert's head. This is just an example of what doesn't work if you're an extrovert trying not so subtly to convert an introvert.

In The Secret Lives of Introverts Jenn Granneman takes us on a journey into the minds of introverts everywhere and shines a light on what makes us tick; in our mind, in the workplace, as lovers and friends. We learn that we are even different to extroverts on a neurochemical level. Common misconceptions are myth busted, our strengths are celebrated, and we're taught how to turn our weaknesses into attributes that work for, not against, us. Yet this book isn't just aimed at introverts. There are specific sections throughout the book that explain to extroverts why we behave in ways that often baffle them and how they can champion and understand us.

I'm one of those people who practically hiss when labels are thrown about but in this book the introvert/extrovert labels are used to explain, not condemn, and it's made clear that we all sit along a spectrum. No one is completely one or the other. Carl Jung is quoted in the book as saying, "Such a person would be in a lunatic asylum."

My main complaint with this book was that I got sick of hearing about Introvert, Dear, the author's blog/online publishing platform. I would have much preferred for there to be a disclaimer at the beginning of the book saying that all quotes, mentions of articles and surveys were from this source unless otherwise stated.

Instead it sometimes felt like I was going to read somewhere on each page, "in an Introvert, Dear article" and it started to bug me so much that it got to a point where I wondered whether it would have been more useful for me to visit there to pick and choose articles and areas of interest rather than read the book. I got over my annoyance and decided to make it a game instead, like Where's Wally? except it was Where's Introvert, Dear? Perhaps I should have made a rule that allowed me to have a piece of chocolate each time I found the magic words ... 🍫🍫🍫

I found there were some chapters that didn't relate to me or no longer do and it seemed sometimes that the book was aimed at people who are working or in a serious relationship for the first time. However, even the chapters that didn't personally apply to me still held my interest. I'm a sucker for books referenced in other books so I loved that and now have a list of follow up reads to explore.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley (thank you so much to NetGalley and Skyhorse Publishing for the opportunity) in exchange for honest feedback.

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I love this book! I only wish it had been written years ago. I feel it spoke directly to me and answered so much for me as a happy Introvert. I devoured this book and read it through 3 more times to make sure I bookmarked everything that applies and my bookmarks are many. I am so grateful to the author.
I can identify with the absolute demanding need for solitude without interference from anyone, the introvert hangover ( I can't take more then an hour of social gatherings) , the need for deep conversation rather than chit-chat, and being misunderstood !!!!! ( I just need to be alone), and none of your family or friends understanding my need and happiness with my solitude.
And Resting Sad Face! It is immensely gratifying thing to realize that others have had that, too. For decades now rude men, people in stores, family and co workers have been telling me to smile. As a woman over 50 I learned long ago that is a form of control and is abusive but the authors descriptions here validated my feelings are correct and its a form of hate against strong women who do not conform to societies ideal of what a woman should do to please others . that maddening factor in every woman's life who is a happy introvert was validated here and very much appreciated.
It takes great courage to care for one's self according to one's deepest needs and withstand the scrutiny of others in this overtly silly social society we live in of sheep like conformist. Being a Introvert means not conforming and that is what I embrace and nurture in myself. The author validates this for me as I learned over the years that to live as I want means living within a very enriching absolute solitude and that my preference for not "visiting the world of people" is valid. The book talks about how you choose when to participate, when and who to give your energy to. How draining people are to us and why we must recharge with complete utter blissful solitude.
I am embracing: exquisite care of my sensitivity and introversion by deciding how and when to participate. After years of building a quiet private life that makes me innately happy the author speaks here on how to maintain our quiet lives and thrive in our own quiet environments. The author talks about how to arrange your life around your needs as a introvert and why people fight us every step of the way . She gives us well researched information on how to cope with our careers, noisy social events and what types of Introverts we may be. . This is the definitive book on Introverts. It is the book to keep on your bookshelf and Kindles to refer to and use as a guide to understanding yourself and accepting that you can function as a happy introvert and not conform to a society that goes against your deepest needs.
Very well done and with gratitude to the author for this outstanding book. Thank you for the ARC which did not influence my review. . A excellent read and I thank the author for her time , expertise and sharing this book with the Introvert community. I love this book!

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I can't say that I really learned anything new with this book, but it did reinforce that I am a HARDCORE introvert. And it's always nice to read a book that praises people who are quieter and don't often see recognition. I thought that three chapters on relationships went a little long, but I really enjoyed the chapter on the introvert hangover. The struggle is real, y'all. I really related to the author; she shared a lot of the same struggles I've gone through in my life. I felt this added a lot to the book because I knew she understood introverts.

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Interesting read to understand introverts and their behavior

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It's like the book was written for me. I agree with so much of this book. Good read for introverts and people who want to understand them!

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One of the best books I have read on introverts. Granneman runs a website called Introvert Dear and it gave her access to a huge community of introverts. The book isn't an examination of what an introvert is but rather a book of techniques and tactics that introverts use to survive in their worlds. It was fun to read and I was constantly commenting (to myself because I'm an introvert), "So true!" and "Yes!" and my digital copy is highlighted to death! I definitely need a physical copy because this is a book I will go back to again and again!

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Readers of Susan Cains "Quiet" will find themselves equally at home in "The Secret Lives of Introverts." Jenn Granneman takes the time to explain what an introvert is and isn't, dispelling myths and revealing truths, and generally championing the role of the introvert in today's extroverted world. Introverts unite! Quietly and separately! FYI-Librarians do not spend much time alone, unless you're a solo librarian in a library with few patrons. A librarian is actually a very people centric job.

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As an introvert myself, I found the dissection of an introvert's personality quite interesting. More so, it was reassuring I'm not as odd as I thought. At times the author tended to be repetitive, but overall, it is a helpful book for not only introverts, but extroverts working with or in a relationship with an introvert.

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As a introvert myself I highly enjoyed reading this book because it gave me alone time~ But joking aside it is a very well written informative book with lots of good explanations and suggestions. I bookmarked a number of pages to reread when I am feeling frazzled from the social world and want to step back and relax.

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This is a wonderful book for introverts and those who love them. I especially enjoyed learning about how introverts process things differently than extroverts as it explained why I can't always come up with a quick answer. I loved this book and recommend it for all introverts who wonder why they can't seem to be more like extroverts, and why they shouldn't try to be.

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Thanks to NetGalley for the free digital ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. Check out all my book reviews at www.myliterary2cents.blogspot.com

Author Jenn Granneman gives a look at what life is like as an introvert. She explains the different types of introverts and provides a quiz for potential introverts to take. Through many polls and interviews, she shows us the common misconceptions that introverts face about their quiet lives. She explains a little of the science of what makes an introvert "tick". She even gives tips for people who are extroverts dealing with a introvert co worker, friend, or family member.

Notes about the author/writing style: The author's writing style was neither too complicated or too simple.

What I loved about the book: I enjoyed reading the comments from introverts that the author had interviewed. I especially loved how the author's main theme of the book was that introverts are not weird, shy, or somehow a lower human form - they just need space and alone time to recharge.

What I disliked about the book: Anytime I am so uninterested in a book that I "skim" over sections without reading it entirely, I give a book a 3 star rating. Most of the book was very interesting, but I feel like a lot of the information was redundant and I found myself just reading the headings in many chapters. I also didn't really need to read parts of the book that were directed towards unmarried people who are looking for companionship.

Who should read this book? All introverts need to read this book. Since there were lots of helpful hints for extroverts dealing with introverts, they should read this book too.

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I don't know what I was expecting of this book but for some reason I didn't think it would be self-help. I generally do not read self-help books but this one was actually quite good and helpful. As an introverted person, I do struggle with many of the issues that Granneman describes. Being an introvert in an extroverted world can be difficult at times and especially when the expectations for success feel designed to crush you. The chapters on dealing with the workplace were particularly helpful. For a lot of people, myself included, it's wonderful to be given advice that isn't focused on trying to force introverts to change and simply explores how we are different and how we can adapt to the unpredictability of society.

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"Say what you will about labeling. That little label changed my life."

Jenn Granneman, founder of the blog Introvert, Dear, a community site for introverts, collects advice, interviews, statistics about introversion, and ideas about how to make one's way in the world as one in this self-help-styled book.

Adjusting to a world that's not exactly geared towards introverts is a tall order. As comedian Amy Schumer writes in her popular memoir, "Actually, I don't know how we survive at all. It feels impossible." After I read Susan Cain's monumental study on introversion, Quiet, which was truly life-changing for me, I'm always on the lookout for other books related to the topic that can teach me something so simple yet profound about myself and others like me. Quiet was like therapy.

For Granneman, that helpful book was Marti Olsen Laney's The Introvert Advantage. It's oft-quoted throughout this one, as she shares how she started understanding more about her inborn temperament and how best to use it to her advantage instead of seeing it as a flaw, which is certainly how it feels at first and how many others try to make us feel about it. "I was too different - too messed up. The world was to much, too loud, too harsh."
In fact, her explanations of the difference between temperament and personality were incredibly thoughtful and meaningful, and I think a lot of people who struggle with their own introversion or criticize someone else's would do well to read and really absorb what she has to say. An introduction: "Introversion is a temperament, which is different from your personality; temperament refers to your inborn traits that organize how you approach the world, while personality can be defined as the pattern of behavior, thoughts, and emotions that make you an individual. It can take years to build a personality, but your temperament is something you're born with."

The book consists of sections addressing different introvert problems, wherein Granneman explains her own experiences with typical introvert issues, which is always helpful. It's good to hear from someone else's place of experience. She interviews other introverts for their feedbacks on the topics too, but their quotes appear seemingly unedited and read more like sometimes-rambling survey responses. In fact, when she conducts a survey through her website of relevance to one of these topics, she posts the results pretty much verbatim, and it's not fun to slog through. There's not as much streamlining of information as I'd have liked.

Chapters also address common misconceptions about what being an introvert means, and they seem intended and helpful for both those trying to figure out things about themselves or trying to understand others. Tactics and quotes from famous introverts, the likes of which include Bill Gates, Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, and even Barack Obama (I was pleasantly surprised by that one) provide some interesting perspective.

Then there are the thoughts from judgmental extroverts, unfortunately all too common refrains. "When I get older, I want to remember that I knew how to have fun when I was young," one extroverted friend is recounted as telling an introverted one. "Extroverts think that if something is fun for them, it should be fun for us, too. Although introverts can and do enjoy the occasional party, we generally have a different definition of fun."

A lot of the book, too much, I felt, is about relationships and dating. Although this is a potential minefield of problems for introverts, I kind of think it's something you have to resolve on your own, and any advice manual is going to fall flat in providing the right help because it's such a personal issue. Then again, I'm not a self-help reader so maybe all self-helpy type books are structured this way? Like giving ideas about problems that you clearly just need to work through and experiment with on your own?

Other segments are directed at extroverts reading for insights into how best to treat or interact with introverts. That's the "inside our hidden world" part of the subtitle, I guess. It seemed like a gimmicky addition, as the tips are reworked regurgitations of the chapter's content.
I found Quiet to be a more helpful and insightful book. This one has a fluffy, almost teen magazine feel - most chapters had a line like, Do you feel X way? Read on for more about why and what you can do about it. Maybe it's an unfair comparison. I'm not a self-help reader, as I said, and Quiet was not a self-help book; this one is. I'd just hoped to gain more insight from it and fewer vague or too-obvious, overused platitudes. Could be helpful for someone just beginning to figure out they're introverted and looking for any affirmation and encouragement in setting up a positive lifestyle.

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