Cover Image: How I Lost You

How I Lost You

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Member Reviews

I don't read thriller/suspense often, but now and then they call to me. This one was okay, but didn't really have me on the edge of the seat. I couldn't get into it.

Sorry for the long delay in feedback. I'm working on clearing out my Netgalley backlog. I am DNF'ing all books that just don't work within the first 50-100 pages. Trying to find the joy in reading again by going through the hundreds of abandoned books here.

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Twisty psychological thriller that is every mother's worst nightmare come to life. It does require a bunch of suspension of disbelief, but overall this is a solid suspense novel sure to please those who like the genre.

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This kept my attention as I cared to know how it all played out. The ending was tense but also a little out there and a little hard to believe.

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Thank you so much to NetGalley, Atria Books, and Jenny Blackhurst for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for a review!

I gave this book a chance but at this time I was unable to get into the story. I will try again sometime in the future as I really don't like not finishing a book!.

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I hate it when I get a book and then forget about it. I mean, something drew me to that story. But then, something drew me to another story. And then another. And before I knew it, original story was somewhat forgotten. Admit it, you've done the same thing. Luckily, though, this one made its way back onto my radar. Because it would have been a shame to miss it.
Emma/Susan has done her time. No matter that she can't really remember what she did. She was tried and convicted of the most horrific crime imaginable - killing her baby. But now she's out and trying to build some semblance of a new life. Then the pictures start coming. Somebody is determined to dredge up a past she'd rather not think about. Soon, though, she begins to have doubts. Is her inability to remember that terrible night actually her mind trying to tell her she didn't do it? As she begins to dig deeper, someone seems determined to stop her. Too many secrets, too many unanswered questions to just let it go.
This is a good story, predictable at times but gripping nonetheless. There were many things I figured out along the way but just as many that threw me for a loop. The ending did become a bit muddled with too many characters doing too many things in an effort to wrap it all up. My fault for rushing to get to the end, I suppose...

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Short and quick review for this Sister Read

I read How I Lost You with three of my Traveling Sisters. The group started with seven of us and only three of us were left standing. This one tested our ability to suspend disbelief throughout the whole story and pushing us over the edge with the ending. It was fun and entertaining and there was some great tension that kept us going to to see how this one played out. It brought out a great discussion and we really enjoyed reading this one together.

Thank you, NetGalley, Atria Books and Jenny Blackhurst for a copy to read and review.

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I found the narrator's naivety (especially because it was written in the first person) to be quite annoying, and the whole plot unbelievable overall. I don't mind suspending disbelief if the rest of the novel is strong, but I just couldn't get into this one and unfortunately gave up after the first third.

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I wouldn't say I had high hopes for this novel which is the way I am with all thrillers, but this one was a whole new low. There were so many things about this story that I didn't like. I really did not like Susan/Emma. While I understand she was stuck in her grief over her child and was confused with the turn of events, she was extremely naive and didn't show an ounce of intelligence at any point. She behaved in a way that just didn't make any sense to me - and this includes her ability to fall for every guy that she meets. It made me so annoyed to see her develop an attraction/feelings for someone who she literally met only twice and knows nothing about. Also, considering the circumstance, it really didn't make sense that she was indulging in romantic fantasies. The story is told from 2 different perspectives: Susan/Emma, and an unknown character named Jack. I have to say that I actually liked Jack's story more than Susan/Emma's ... even though the former ended up having the smallest part in this novel. The story started to segue into another plot about halfway through, which is a common trend. However, this other direction really made no sense to me. Suddenly, Susan/Emma is pursuing this instead, hoping that it will somehow lead to clues about her son (but how this would even happen when they are two unrelated things, I have no idea). Then at the end of the novel, there is that big reveal.... and it was so disappointing. It was such a failed attempt at trying to tie in 2 plot lines that really didn't go together. And suddenly, all of these random names were dropping and identities were changing and it just really got too much. I just found myself very disappointed with the entire novel in terms of its story line. I'm giving this a 1/5 stars.

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This book scooped me right up from the very beginning and didn't set me down again until the last page. It was interesting and suspenseful and entertaining. Blackhurst did a great job developing her quirky characters. This is a solid pageturner.

*I received an advance reading copy from the publisher in exchange for my honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.*

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This is the first novel I have read by Jenny Blackhurst, and honestly I'm not familiar with her work. This was an interesting read. I thought it was very well written, but on some level I found it to be very complex.

There were an overwhelming amount of characters in this novel. So many at times I found it hard to keep up. Specifically when we're taken to the past and we learn about Jack. Some were well developed, while others I had a hard time differentiating between them. I thought that Jack's character was portrayed well, as a spoiled rich kid who thought he was entitled to anything and everything. On the otherhand, I can't say that I connected to Susan's character all that much. I'm not sure what it was, but maybe it was the lack of emotion we got from her at times.

The storyline was interesting and I have to be honest and say that the ending was so convoluted that I really didn't see it coming. At least not all of it anyway. Some of it was a bit much for me. All that aside, I did find that it was a fast paced read and I did enjoy this book. It was entertaining and definitely a page-turner.

I want to thank NetGalley, Atria Books, and Jenny Blackhurst for the opportunity to read this novel in exchange for my review.

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This is one of those books that is so scary simply because it’s every parents worst nightmare come true. Imagine waking up and being told you killed your baby and you have absolutely no memory of it. That’s precisely what happened to Susan, the main character in this absolutely, terrifyingly fabulous novel.

I was tense through the majority of this book, but in such a good way, if that makes sense. It kept my mind so occupied trying to figure it all out and I didn’t want to stop reading because I didn’t want to take myself out of the story. It’s definitely one of those books that you just want to drop life for and sit in a chair and read from page one to the fabulous ending.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves a fabulously delicious psychological suspense novel written by an extremely talented author. This is one I will be thinking of for a long time to come.

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Man I was pulled into this story and it was hard for me to stop reading. A mother's worst nightmare happens to Susan and you just can't help but to read to find out if there will be justice.

Susan has been in a Institute for killing her newborn son, yet she doesn't fully remember doing it just that she woke up with him dead.
She has felt guilt ever since then and has pushed everyone away. She is starting a new life, with a new place, new name, just everything is new. She wants to fly under the radar so no one should know who she is exactly. Yet when she ends up getting a picture of a young boy who could be her child it opens up a secret that has been going on for a long time. How truly well do you know someone if you think you have your life in order?
That is the question that Susan has to figure out because what she uncovers is all connected in one way or another to the death of her son. We see how Susan doesn't give up trying to get the answers to what happened along with finding out who is sending her things to do with her son in the mail.

We go back and forth between Susan in the present day to a group of boys in the past and it all leads us to an amazing ending. I loved how the plot was a steady pace and how I was easily pulled into the story line. I can not imagine what Susan went through four years ago, she is a strong character. As far as characters go I felt that they were done really good and the situations they were in really shaped them.

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unfortunately this book fell a bit short for me. this psychological thriller had me turning pages, but hoping for answers that would get me to the end. it started of promising and I was excited, with plenty of ideas and 'maybe's but that died down quick. it suddenly became unrealistic and the story was unreliable. It was enjoyable, but not something I would rave about. I'd get it on sale, but probably wouldn't recommend it.

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I must admit I have very mixed thoughts about How I Lost You by Jenny Blackhurst.

I was immediately grasped by the story opening of young mother Susan Webster standing before the parole board of a psychiatric hospital, awaiting her fate after being in the hospital for several years for killing her 3-month old son Dylan, during a psychotic break due to post-partum depression. Released with a new-identity, Susan, now known as Emma Cartwright, tries to start her life over and move forward.

Confused as to why Emma would want to start her new life in a small town where people notice and talk about new members to the town rather than move to a large city where few care who you are, was one of the first things that didn't ring true for me. More confusing were the alternate chapters about a group of rich, entitled boys doing bad things which escalate to horrible things as they grow. What do these boys, and their actions have to do with anything?

Emma soon starts receiving pictures, notes, and personal belongings which indicate her son Dylan is alive. But who knows who she is (duh - small town!) and why would they send her these things? She grabs on to Nick, a young man who came to question her and who she immediately decided was a journalist, to help her figure out what is going on.

Questioning what really happened to Dylan and who might be behind it, not knowing if Susan/Emma actually committed the crime she was convicted of, unsure of her sanity, these are things that keep a reader wanting to read on to find out what really happened. But there were so many dissonant, things in the story, things that just didn't ring true, turned this book into a mish-mash of bits that were forcibly pulled together into a story so incredible, evil, and difficult to believe.

How I Lost You started out with great promise, and entertained me for awhile, until the unbelievable machinations in the middle and end as the author blends the stories of Emma and the group of young me left me with that "Really? REALLY?!?" reaction.

I thank NetGalley and Atria Books for allowing me to read this book in return for an unbiased review.

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Emma Cartwright formerly known as Susan Webster has just been released from jail. She was there for killing her twelve-week old son, Dylan. She has no memory of that day and was told by doctors that she had a disorder that caused her post pardem depression that lead to her killing her son.

Days after getting out of jail with a new identity living in a new town she gets a letter with her old name on it. Inside is a picture of a young boy who looks eerily similar to her son, but this boy is toddler. She begins to doubt that Dylan is dead and that she could of possibly killed him.

She begins to investigate with the help of her best friend and a reporter who showed up in her life at the exact time she needed help.

This was like Sherlock Holmes on steroids. At first it was hard to see the big picture and how the different narrators related to each other but once I began to understand their relationship I was amazed. Susan started out as a wounded little bird and by the end she was stronger than ever. This won’t disappoint anyone who loves a good thriller.

5⭐️’s

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Susan Webster was found guilty of killing her infant son, Dylan, three years ago and was committed to a psychiatric facility. She has no memory of what happened. Now, she has been released under a new name and in a new town. She is now known as Emma Cartwright and lives in Shropshire. A young woman named Cassie was incarcerated with her and they have maintained a good friendship when they were both released. Cassie had been serving time for having murdered her hated husband.

Susan has received an envelope addressed to “Susan,” not Emma, and is afraid to open it. When she does, it’s a photo of a young boy of 3 or so and on the back of the photo is written “Dylan, June 2013.” It would make her think that Dylan is still alive. When she calls Cassie, she wonders if it could be from Mark, her ex-husband. But Susan thinks it must be a hoax.

Susan is approached by a man named Nick, a news reporter, and he offer to help her find out what truly happened to Dylan. Susan was having a difficult time with depression after giving birth to Dylan and was struggling with trying to nurse him and calm him. She was exhausted. She knows she could never have killed her baby. She loved him so much.

Susan, Nick, and Cassie begin an investigation of their own. But someone is watching them, sending clues to let them know that this person is on to them.

The story switches back and forth from current day with Susan to events that happened with a group of young men attending university in Durham and how they try to stick together even though there is a difference in their economic status.

The switching back and forth doesn’t really make sense until the reader gets further into the book and the puzzle pieces start to come together. Did Susan really kill her son?

I admire how the author put the pieces of the puzzle together one at a time while keeping the reader’s interest. There were some things that I questioned as I read the book. The biggest thing is, did anyone in the family see the dead baby? Do come read this book and see how quickly you can finish the puzzle. A good book.

Copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.

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I really enjoyed this book. I devoured this book in one day because I would not put it down. Susan is in a mental institute after "killing" her son. I use quotes around killing because Susan has no memory of committing this horrible crime! Now fast forward Susan is living as Emma Cartwright and trying to figure out what really happened to her son. One day she gets a piece of mail that contains a picture of a 3 year old little boy named Dylan........her baby's name was Dylan! So she has to prove that she did not kill her baby and in fact he was kidnapped!
I say go one click How I Lost You by Jenny Blackhurst now to find out what really

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I’ve decided to put this book down for now. I may come back.

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Talk about an unreliable narrator! Emma/Susan has just been released from a psychiatric facility for allegedly killing her young son Dylan- and then a photo arrives in the mail. Is it, as suggested, Dylan? What really happened? This psychological thriller has a couple of plot lines going that will eventually merge into an unsavory situation. It's always hard to review this sort of novel without spoilers but suffice it to say that while this one might start a bit slow it ramps up the tension. Emma/Susan is not the most likable character in the world but think about her situation and you'll be sympathetic. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. Try this one for a page turner where a mom is looking for the truth.

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How I Lost You by Jenny Blackhurst is difficult for me to score with ease, to be completely and totally honest. There are several things I loved about this book and others that felt more like a cliche. Aside from those few moments, I enjoyed reading this novel.

Susan Webster, a.k.a. Emma Cartwright, finds her head still spinning after serving her time in a psychiatric prison for the murder of her son. As a character, she is for the most part fairly well-written. Having suffered a psychotic break, she becomes an unreliable narrator and Blackhurst does an excellent job at describing the sort of incredulity that individuals suffering mental illness find themselves often faced with. Reading Susan’s point of view felt very much like my own after a break I had about two years ago, and for that reason I found her to be relatable – all the way down to the seemingly instant attraction to an otherwise unknown man.

In some reviews, Susan’s interest in Nick has been viewed critically. I, on the other hand, have been that desperate for someone, anyone, to possibly listen to me or give me time of day so I feel Blackhurst’s portrayal of Susan in such a circumstance is certainly realistic. Diminished capacity for judgment is a side effect of mental illness, one that often gets dismissed as a cry for attention.

The story unfolds fairly quickly and in ways that are, at some moments, unsettling. Many of these moments take place in the past, where flashbacks take us to the glorious lives of the Durham Elite. It is in these flashbacks that I encountered the one cliche that absolutely annoyed the piss out of me: a cult like gathering that seemed to come out of nowhere. Seriously, cults are beyond overdone.

I really found myself dancing between three and four for this piece, largely because of the typical use of the “cult” as a scapegoat. For the most part, this is the only bit that appeared to stand completely out of place, so I’ve decided to lean toward four. Thus far, I find Emily Bestler’s selections to be wonderfully appropriate to my tastes and I look forward to seeing more of her publications as an imprint of Atria and Simon & Schuster.

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