When Alex wakes up in hospital, he finds himself locked-in in his body. His mind is absolutely clear, but he cannot communicate with his surroundings; neither can he move his body the least bit, nor can he show the doctors or his family that he is not in a coma. It takes some time for him to figure out what actually happened. Since he cannot ask, he has to rely on what his visitors share with him. First of all, his girlfriend Bea, but also his father and his sister. He obviously was climbing when he fell from the rock. Since is never wore a helmet, the impact left a serious damage to his brain. But slowly he comes to the conclusion that the different pieces of information he gathers while listening do not really fit together. There must be more about it.

Emily Koch surely has chosen a very special point of view for her novel. Giving a voice to a locked-in character is something you do not read that often. Yet, it made the story especially appealing since you as the reader were completely with Alex and had no chance of getting more information than the protagonist. Not all you learnt made sense, at times, you even suspected the girlfriend of having tried to murder him – just like Alex did. Thus, the choice the author has made is simply great and adds a special bit to the story.

It was an attempted murder, this becomes clear quite early in the novel, yet, it takes some time to really understand what was behind it all. The limited access to information really supports the suspense here. At some points I got a bit annoyed, wishing it all to advance a bit more quickly. However, imagining this as a real life event, there is nothing one could do to accelerate it, so even though I was curious to get to the solution, it was a good decision to delay it.

A risky point of view which I find quite innovative. The plot was solved convincingly and the author found a way out of the story that I absolutely liked.

Alex  Jackson is a 27 year old journalist from Bristol, he loves rock climbing and as we first meet him, he is a prisoner in his own body following a climbing accident.
The story is told from Alex's perspective, and the first thing we find out is that although
his medical team believe he is in a vegetative state and completely unaware of anything around him, Alex is actually suffering from locked-in syndrome - aware of everything going on around him, but unable to move or respond in any way. He's been like this for around 2 years - he's measuring time by listening to the conversations going on around him from his Dad, his sister Philippa, his girlfriend Bea and his care team, amongst others.
 
When the story starts, Alex has, understandably, given up hope and is wishing for death. As he hears snippets of various conversations around him, he realises that his accident is being reinvestigated, as a possible murder attempt. This sets him thinking - after all, he can't do anything else, and he starts to try and work out who could be behind this - who would want him dead? He can also hear conversations about turning off his life support, which is the stuff that horror movies are made of and made me shiver to think about.
 
I found this book extremely engaging and found it very hard to put down. It is the thing of nightmares to be trapped in your own body, unable to communicate, and this is conveyed very well in Emily Koch's debut thriller. Full of tension, twists and turns, and genuine frustration for Alex not being able to do anything about his suspicions, it's a must-read for 2018 and is sure to be a massive hit!

If I die before I wake was an intriguing title and that's what had drawn me to the book to begin with. It got me thinking what does it mean? Alex is in a coma after been out climbing and throughout the book he has more questions than answers. As a reader we get to find out what happened to Alex and how he ended up in a coma. This was the first time I've read a book about someone trying to work out whether what happened to them was an accident or whether they were murdered. It was an interesting concept and I did want to know what happened but for me it lacked actions and was slow build up. I liked Alex and I warmed to him straight away, I liked his friend Tom and would of liked to hear more from him bug the other characters I couldn't warm to. I'm looking forward to seeing what Emily does next.

Thanks goes to net galley and the publishers for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review.

I was given an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest and independent review.
A thought provoking book with a refreshing and novel approach to the telling of a story. The narrator Alex is in a coma following a climbing incident, aware of what is going on around him. I found it a bit hard work in places mainly due to the pace but overall it was a good thriller, with a slow drip feed of information and clues being revealed.
4 Stars

If I Die Before I wake is a psychological thriller, but don't be fooled this isn't one of your garden variety psychological thrillers, this book has so much more to offer the reader and made for such a compelling read. In fact I would go as far as to say it's got to be one of the best psychological thrillers I've read in a long time, and I have a feeling this book is going to be HUGE. If I Die Before I Wake is an impressive debut from Emily Koch and when I read a novel that stirs up so many emotions, sympathy, anxiety, and deep sadness to name but a few, then the author has done their job well in my book.

If I Die Before I Wake is a narrative delivered entirely from the perspective of 27 year old Alex Jackson, what makes this an unusual read is the fact Alex is in a coma after a climbing accident. The medical staff, family, friends and his girlfriend are coming to the conclusion that there is no hope for Alex, but in the deep recess of Alex’s brain he is able to hear what is going on around him. Although Alex is not able communicate his thought of feelings to anyone in his “locked in” condition, he share his thoughts, concerns and fears with the reader. Emily Koch has described Alex condition with great thought and consideration, Alex distress and frustration at his situation give the reader a sense of urgency, you want him to find the answers to his suspicious accident before time runs out.


All the characters in this novel are depicted through Alex’s eyes and I found myself wary of most of them at some point, but you also get a sense of family values, friendships and love as he reveals more details about those closest to him. This is not a fast paced book by any means, but if you love a book that builds on the suspense and finds you desperate to reach the conclusion just because you have no idea where the author is leading you then this is the book for you.

An intriguing and captivating read that I would highly recommend

Alex, lying in bed with a tracheotomy helping him to breathe and a pipe going into his stomach to feed him, has woken up after a long spell of being comatose. He is disoriented and cannot understand how or why or even where he is and it takes some time for him to realise that he is in a hospital bed connected to all these pipes because; “Alex Jackson, twenty-seven, is believed to have fallen twenty metres when he was out climbing with friends on Saturday morning”. What is not clear for him at the beginning of this “awakening” is that he can understand everything that is going on around him, but unfortunately, he cannot communicate. Nothing works; he tries to open his eyes, but even these will not respond to the command he’s sending them.

How did this super-fit young man with his whole life ahead of him land up in this situation? He hears the police come in and discuss his case with the doctors and nurses so realises that it was not an accident, but something quite more sinister. He was pushed off the ledge just as he reached what should have been that last minute of triumph.

The doctors consider Alex to be in a vegetative state and so nobody realises that he can hear what is being said in front of him and it is this that sets him off on the task, using his journalistic training to work out who wants him dead and more importantly, why they want him dead.

Visualise being an individual with locked-in syndrome, fully alert and aware of your environment, trying to ascertain who it is who wants you dead., Could it be your angry girlfriend who has discovered “that letter” you thought you had hidden away so carefully? Or your climbing buddy, Eleanor, who thinks that because you are unconscious, that she can use the opportunity to confess that she had a crush on you. Or is it someone from your past? Or someone who didn’t like what you’d written about them in an article for the newspaper you worked for? However, you know that the only two people who you can really trust are your father and sister, Philippa, who no matter how hard you try, cannot understand that you are very much aware of your surroundings and while trying to work out who tried to kill you, hear them discussing turning off all means of support if you contract pneumonia again.

One of the cleverest book storylines ever! I had to read way into the night because I knew there was no way that I could sleep until I had reached the last words that come in the brilliant explosive finale.

Treebeard

Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.

Thanks to NetGalley and Random House UK for an ARC of this book!

If I Die Before I Wake is the debut novel of Emily Koch, and it's pretty good for a debut. It has a very interesting storyline told from a (sort-of) unique perspective. What's really remarkable about it, though, is that it isn't easy to create a 320-pages long book when you're writing the entire thing from the perspective of someone in a vegetative state who can do nothing but listen, think, and occasionally feel. And yet, Koch manages to spin a page-turning tale that doesn't get boring at any point.

The story itself is quite good. It addresses a gamut of very real, raw human emotions and thoughts, and makes it quite easy to associate with the characters. The suspense, twists, and turns are also well done, definitely managing to evoke a good amount of surprise. Alex's feelings, struggle, and emotions come across especially well. As one of those "if you woke up in a coffin" type of situations, it is quite disturbing. But I did think that it could have been executed even better because, to be honest, his outlook and emotions seemed a little too calm to me. The feeling of being trapped in your body, unable to move while your mind is screaming at you to do something (to the point where you hallucinate that you're actually doing it only to find out you hallucinated that too) is much more terrifying than the story depicted. And it probably would have had much more reading value if it had gone that extra bit on what Alex really felt.

What brought the rating of the book down for me was the first half and the end. The first half tends to jump a lot between different events of the past. While a little ambiguity in the order was the aim (I think), it just got a little too messy to be easily followed. The second half really picks up though and was good enough to compensate for the first. Until the few pages at the end.

A story of this type is meant to be a little abstract in its delivery, I suppose. That's part of its beauty, and can really make for a great read that evokes crazy amounts of varied emotions. But that kind of chaotic order is also very difficult to achieve. That's where If I Die Before I Wake was lacking. It was abstract and even hit the right emotional chords. But it did so with very little conviction. As a result, the book (that was probably meant to leave you in thinking about it for a long time) ended without much impact.

All in all, If I Die Before I Wake is definitely worth a read. I won't say that the author will make my watch-list. But she definitely has a style and genre choice that I would opt for and enjoy (once the chaos has a little more order). In the meanwhile, I'd recommend readers to give Emily Koch's debut novel a shot, especially if you:
- enjoy slightly obscure literature
- like fiction and want to experiment with new styles
- are interested in crime fiction

This was a thought provoking, intense read. Alex is in a coma, assumed brain dead following a climbing accident, yet the story is told by him, and we see and feel what he is experiencing. I was willing Alex to wake up the whole way through and wondered how his "accident" had happened. I had no idea how the story was going to end, and I thought it was really well done - I had no idea who was responsible and actually had my hands to my face when it was all coming to light! I loved the relationships between Alex and his girlfriend and his family - they seemed very real. The descriptions of people and events are vivid, accentuating the other senses as Alex can't properly see people, which adds to much of the tension. A great read to start the year, and one I recommend. Thanks to netgalley for the advance review copy.

Alex is in a coma, in a vegetative state, living only through liquid nourishment fed through a tube and a breathing tube in his trachea. At least, he *was* in a coma, now his brain function is pretty fully restored, except that he can’t get his brain to transmit commands to any part of his body, so he is powerless to let anyone else know that he can hear, feel and understand – and sometimes even see, though shapes tend to be dim. But his sense of smell is working just fine and he is able to identify visitors to his room through the sounds they make and the way they smell.

Alex then, has locked in syndrome. Not an especially new thing for a crime book, I have read others, but I must say that this one is done very well indeed.

Everything we know, we know from Alex or from the things his visitors say to him when they come to the hospital. We are fortunate, then that Alex used to be a journalist with the Bristol Post, and even now, after 2 years in a hospital bed, he still orders his thoughts as if he were writing a story for the paper.

He was injured in a rock climbing fall, though he doesn’t really remember much at all about the accident. His mind struggles to piece together events in his life and we understand his story through his recollections of memories and from flashbacks as well as what he hears from those who visit. Sometimes the visitors are talking to him; sometimes they talk to each other, or themselves.

It’s quite a sobering thought, listening to Alex describe his care regime and the different attitudes of his doctors, caregivers and even the local cleaner, and how they treat him when they believe he has no awareness and (wrongly) believe that he can feel no pain. I thought this was an especially strong element to the book and something that could have been dull was vividly brought to life here by Emily Koch in an original and quite startling way.

The central characters in Alex’ life and his regular bedside visitors are his father, his sister Philippa, his live in partner Bea and her parents, and their friends Rosie, Tom and Eleanor.

Bea has stuck by him all this time, despite the fact that she and Alex have had ups and downs in their relationship, but Alex is aware that with no signs of improvement it will soon be time for them to seriously consider withdrawing from treating him if he gets another serious infection, and in his head he is reconciled to that fate, thinking it is only right that Bea should be allowed to live a full life.

Except that it becomes clear that not everything is as he thought it was. Perhaps his accident was no accident at all. He learns that the police are re-investigating; apparently there is ‘new information’.

At the same time Bea is feeling stressed and receiving hang up calls. Sometimes she thinks she is being followed. Alex is determined to try and break through his condition so that he can look out for Bea and piece together every scrap of information he can garner to make sense of what is going on.

There’s a striking counterpoint between what has happened to Alex and the consideration of his treatment or otherwise, and the fact that Alex’s mother died of cancer and that Alex was the one his mother trusted to make sure the family understood that she did not want to undergo further treatment. This gives more depth to the story and the characterisation and allows the reader to feel an emotional pull that is stronger than I expected.

There is a hefty tension throughout the book but alleviated by lighter moments as the plot twists and turns towards a very striking denouement.

Koch pulls the story together very well and manages to keep the reader interested and engaged right up to the end. I liked this a lot more than I thought I might, and that is because the writing really delivers on this format.

Bravo, Ms Koch, you nailed it. A stunning debut.

Can you imagine what it would be like to hear people talking around you while assuming that you can’t hear them? The idea scares and intrigues me. I guess I would like to know what people say about me when they think I can’t hear them. At the same time, I am terrified because I don’t know what I’d find out. What if the people that I consider as friends say mean things about me? I know they probably do but I would rather pretend that they don’t.

Well, this is Alex’s story. He is in a coma and can hear everything around him. His sense of touch and smell are also still active. However, people around him don’t know this. They think that he can’t hear or feel anything. Alex ended up in a coma after a rock climbing accident. While in the hospital, he overhears something that makes him realize that his accident was actually an attempted murder.

The whole story is narrated through Alex’s POV which is interesting. It is crazy just how freely people talked around him including the nurses. At some point, I started wondering why people were having so many conversations around him. Honestly, it seemed like his friends and relatives couldn’t wait to get to his bedside to discuss him and the accident/investigation. I guess it makes sense in a way although it was a bit convenient. Don’t get me wrong though, I did like the concept. Sometimes, it is easier to unburden ourselves to people who aren’t really there. That is why people keep journals, write letters they don’t intend to send and make graveside confession. So the idea was definitely thought-provoking and in a way, realistic.

What I liked most about this book was the suspense. I had no idea who the villain was. It was hard to guess especially since there were no clear motives and the victim had a head injury and couldn’t remember the incident. The book also had a creepy vibe. The idea of Alex being the only one who knew that his senses were alive added a tense, creepy feel to the story. I knew that the killer was probably one of the visitors but couldn’t guess who it was. Needless to say, the reveal was unexpected and I definitely enjoy all the twists and turns.

If I Die Before I Wake by Emily Koch is a slow-burner. The premise is original and interesting. However, all current events take place in the hospital ward and the narrator is in a coma hence slowing down the pace. Nevertheless, as I have already mentioned, this was a riveting read. I liked Alex’s character and I think the author did a brilliant job crafting his persona. I was able to connect and sympathize with him. There were moments when his situation got so tense that I could feel my heart racing as I turned the pages. Alex really was a compelling narrator.

If you enjoy a good mystery with an interesting premise then this is definitely for you.

If I Die Before I Wake is a spellbinding psychological thriller. The frustration of being fully aware of everything that's going on whilst being completely paralysed is soul destroying.

Alex is a reporter with mountain climbing as a hobby. There is a glimpse of his home life with his girlfriend Bea, just before their world is turned upside down.

He wakes up in a hospital hooked up to medical equipments and surrounded by his family who believes that he is in a coma. He can feel and hear everything, but all his muscles are paralysed, leaving him incapable of communicating.

It looks like he had an accident during his latest climb. His father, his sister and Bea are regularly by his side, trying different tactics to rouse him. His brain is very active and the lack of physical response makes the situation impossible. Despair all round!

Bea has found a letter which makes her question their relationship, but Alex is baffled by the misleading content. It becomes apparent that someone is out to get him. Who? It's a real mystery and as the story evolves, he starts to piece things together, until he eventually comes to a plausible conclusion. He realises that he, and those he loves are in danger. The problem is that he can't warn anyone of the impending danger and he is at his wits end. Bea too realises that something doesn't tie up, but are they too late to stop any further damage?

This story is narrated in Alex's POV and is very well articulated. The family dynamics and their agony are projected realistically. The hospital environment and the different approach from each staff member are very well portrayed. Watching Alex going through all the different emotions is agonising. Whodunit? That question remains a constant right to the end when the puzzle is solved. It's a poignant story that kept me on edge from beginning to end. A great debut for this author.

I was kindly issued with an eARC and the views expressed are my personal opinion.

WOW! What a very different powerful story! It's told by Alex who is in a coma. He had a climbing accident. As he lies in his hospital bed he is aware of everything going on around him. He can hear but not communicate! Read on for a brilliant thriller as Alex tries to find out if someone tried to kill him, before its too late!

This book is very different. The narrator is in a coma but he can hear the conversations around him.. A clever concept for a book

The description of this book drew me in and I don't think that I've read a book like this before.

The main character of this book is Alex, and everything is told from his perspective lying on the hospital bed in a vegetable state trying to piece together what has happened to him from the bits of conversation that he catches from his visitors.

We find out that Alex was in a climbing accident and he wasn't wearing a helmet; he was stabilised after his accident but put into a coma to help him heal but he never recovered, everyone around him thinks he is unresponsive but he can sort of see and hear everything that is happening around him. His family cling onto the hope that he will come around and his girlfriend Bea fights for him and tries to find out what happened to Alex and how he fell.

The books pacing was fairly slow and I did find myself speed reading at some points as I just wanted to find out what really happened to Alex. I certainly didn't expect the "killer" to be who it was but it is explained clearly so you do understand why they tried to do what they did. This book did help pass the time on my journeys to work though and you could see what was going to happen to Alex by the end of the book. A recommended read if you like mysteries.

If I Die Before I Wake was one of my most anticipated novels of 2018. It sounded exciting, unique and positively *thrilling*. Alas, it wasn't any of those things. In the following, I'll showcase the three main reasons why I nicknamed If I Die Before I Wake "The Least Thrilling Thriller of Ever".

PROBLEM #1:
WHERE'S THE THRILLER AT?

While reading I kept wondering - did I remember the blurb correctly??? For the sake of this review being as accurate as possible - because we sell facts here, people - I went to netgalley and checked the book's page, AND LO AND BEHOLD THIS SENTENCE - "A stunning edge-of-your-seat debut novel with an unforgettable narrator."

Here's the thing, I get that everyone has different opinions, so I'm not going to comment on the 'stunning' or the 'unforgettable narrator' parts. I don't agree, but, obviously, whoever wrote this thought so. BUT EDGE-OF-YOUR-SEAT!? I was screwed over there. And I hate to be screwed over.

See, I expected the story to be slow, slower than a usual thriller for sure, as the narrator is in coma. What I didn't expect was for an "edge-of-your-seat" novel to dedicate only about 1/3 of its time to the thriller aspect. I get that the story needed to be set up, okay? But the set up was so long and tedious that I would have 1000% given up on this were it not a review copy.

Honestly, complaining this much is making me feel like shit, because I do understand that a big part of the story was supposed to be the narrator recounting his life and current situation. And that was done fairly well, but... an emotional, sad story was not what the blurb promised. And thus we are back at me hating being screwed over by synopsis.

PROBLEM #2
BLAND CHARACTER UPON BLAND CHARACTER

Sadly, I did not like any of the characters. At first I believed that most of them would be unlikable on purpose, and I do enjoy a good unlikable character, as you know. However, I soon had to realize that the big problem with them was that they were boring, plain and awfully uninteresting. So me not liking them wasn't because they were these morally gray, complex people - haha, nope nope nope - but because I just didn't care about them. At all.

On the one hand, I blame the fact that we could only see everyone from the narrator's point of view - the narrator who spent his last two years in coma - thus there were no present-day interactions between the narrator and the rest of the cast. This, of course, made it hard to grasp what his relationship was like with each of them. We were given flashbacks, more with some characters than with others, however, many of the narrator's memories were fuzzy and some of them were later proven false.

See, I don't mind unreliable narrators; actually, I believe they can spice up any thriller or mystery novel. That said, it was tiring to read from a point of view of a man who was not only unable to recall anything about his accident, but also remembered things hella incorrectly, AND, on top of all that, had no interaction with the characters after his 'accident'.

PROBLEM #3
IT DID NOT MAKE ME EMOTIONAL

If you read this, you'll see that this is a sad, sad book, AND I DID FEEL FOR THE NARRATOR. Honestly! His situation was horrid, and I cannot even imagine how strong someone would have to be to survive that. Yet, I cannot say that I was truly touched by any part of the story, much less by the characters.

There were instances where the narrator felt betrayed by someone, or when he was worried like hell about someone. At none of these times did I feel the same way. I went through the book with a sort of distant, bored feeling, and that is the real tragedy here. To be equally let down by the thriller-aspect AND the more-prominent emotional aspect is just... eh.

On a side not, I can be pretty cold, so this may be just me being heartless as hell, and maybe everyone else will be full on #sobbing while reading this. IDK/IDC.

ON A FINAL NOTE

I can only repeat myself and sadly admit that If I Die Before I Wake was a very disappointing read. The main problem was not that it's a rather weird mix of contemporary fiction and murder mystery (which it is), but that it manages to fail spectacularly at both those aspects.

Alex is in a coma after a climbing accident. He can hear all of those around him as they come in and out of his hospital room, though no one believes he can hear, see or feel anything. He is all alone with only his thoughts for company.

Alex's girlfriend Bea and his Father and Sister cling on to the hope that he might wake up one day. But try as he might, Alex cannot get them to notice that he is already awake and listening to everything they say.

Others around Alex seem not as concerned with his current medical state, but more as to how he ended up there.

For it seems that his fall may not have been accidental after all.

As he lies listening to those he loves come and go, Alex tries to piece together the evidence to discover what truly happened that fateful day.

He also must resign himself to the fact that Bea should be starting to move on with her life, away from him.

She can't continue to wait for Alex's recovery when the doctors are so sure that there is very little chance of one.

But Bea is a huge part of Alex's history, and if she gives up on him, will he ever truly discover what happened to him? And when all is said and done, does he really want to know?

What an extraordinary book. Alex is still in a coma after a climbing accident two years ago and the story is told in first person by him. I was shocked to discover that all his senses are on high alert but he can't speak and is totally paralysed so he was no way of communicating with the doctors or his family & friends. He knows everything that is going on around him. How scary is that? The tests are not revealing any brain activity so he's declared in a vegetative state. He knows he's being considered for removal of his food pipe and they have given up on him. How scary is that too? It reminds me of reading about a man called Richard Marsh who defied all medical knowledge and managed to recover from locked-in syndrome. The only difference was that he learnt to indicate his needs by blinking. In an article about him he described the frustration of knowing what was going on but appeared a hopeless case. A beautifully written book with sensitivity and humour as we learn what Alex's life was like before he became imprisoned by his body. A moving ending. Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House UK. I shall post this to Amazon and my blog.

An interesting idea of finding out what happened to him in retrospect through a person in a coma, who everyone thinks can see or hear nothing.

This was one thriller of 2018 which I knew I HAD to read, the synopsis drew me in immediately, and it was a great read.

However, although the plot sounds thrilling, it's not exactly unique, in that similar book plots exist in The Lovely Bones etc. However, the fact that the narrator here is 1. Male - I find less narrators, in general, these days are male, especially if written by a female author. 2. In a coma - I feel as though most books with these Victim observing the world they have left behind plots are set from the beyond, but this book has the victim in a coma when the book opens.

Now, although this plot has the original viewpoint of Alex narrating the story from a coma, this does hurt the pacing of the story, overall. Because events of the story have to be related to Alex's hospital bedside, in order to have him observe and narrate. This is the problematic part of the book, as the pacing is, possibly, the most crucial part of a thriller and really effects the readers experience. I honestly think this could have been solved completely with alternating chapters, with a different point-of-view. This could have allowed us to experience more of the characters and to avoid stretching out the plot too much.

In terms of writing, I found this particularly well done, especially for a debut novel. The way that Koch was able to convey Alex's pain led the reader on an emotional journey, this book was the definition of intense, and if it wasn't for the drawn out plot then this read would have been a 5-star for sure. I'll definitely be looking out for Koch's next book!

If you're looking for a great read in 2018 from a new author, I'd recommend you pick this one up!

Full Review Here: https://thereadingruby.blogspot.com/2018/01/if-i-die-before-i-wake-by-emily-koch.html

I really enjoyed this book. The plot is so simple as in its from one guys prospective in one setting but it took you to so many other places all from his mind. It had so many layers and kept my interested, so much I read it in one sitting! I was slightly disappointed by the end as I was rooting for Al so much but oddly enough it was the only ending it could have or it would of made the whole story not seem so intense.
Happily recommend to my friends.