Emily Koch's debut novel is a well written innovative read that will definitely pick up many 5 star reviews. However, for me, the novel was too drawn out and limited in its scope and didn't grab me as much as I had hoped it would.
The narrative is told from Alex's point of view, a 27 year old male, who is now in hospital, in a coma, recovering from a climbing accident. Or was it an accident?
Although Alex can't speak, move, or see very well, he can hear what is going on around him, and over the course of the book we hear snippets of conversation from his wife Bea, his sister, his father and various friends. The problem though is that we do not get inside these characters. We don't even know what they look like. We cannot even feel their gestures or glances, as we see everything from Alex's point of view, as he lies in his coma.
We learn quite a bit of back story which all leads up to the accident (or not) and the inevitable conclusion.
Whilst I enjoyed this read it did not grab me and to be honest, was a struggle to finish, but it IS different and Ms Koch is a very very good writer. I will certainly be interested in reading what she does next.

I was drawn to this book as I once had the unpleasant experience of waking up to find myself able to hear everything but totally unable to open my eyes, move, breathe, or speak following a failed general anaesthetic - until the antidote kicked in and I shouted "I'm here!". A small taste of what Alex is going through, but it had a huge impact on me (and still does).

Given the above, the horror of what Alex was going through engaged my total sympathy throughout the book. The tension is kept up throughout, as we (the reader and Alex) initially think that Alex has had an accident - but it gradually becomes apparent that all is not as it seems.

I am not going to give away the plot, but this is a finely written, gripping drama with well crafted characters whose behaviours are very believable in the circumstances. I never gave up hope, though guessed the twist.

My thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for allowing me to read this as an ARC in return for my honest review.

I was really looking forward to reading this book but, sad to say, I just couldn't get into it at all. I have struggled on for as long as I can but I'm just not connecting with it.
I'm sure plenty of others will enjoy this, but the storyline is leaving me cold and I'm giving up on it - something which I do very rarely.
I'm sorry that I don't like it, but honesty is the best policy!

What’s interesting about the way the author has planned the story out is the way the intent is within reach, however it doesn’t become really clear until closer to the end.

Alex likes the thrill of climbing and is perhaps guilty of becoming complacent with his safety, which is probably how he ends up in a coma after a serious fall. His head injury leaves him in a terrifying situation. Alex can hear and feel everything around him, but is unable to respond to anyone or anything. A nightmare scenario.

The medical condition is based on a pseudocoma also known as Locked-in syndrome, minus the blinking and vertical eye movements, although Alex is often able to see through the slits of his slightly opened eyes. Koch has clearly done a lot of research on the subject, which is reflected in the story.

The story is narrated by Alex himself via his inner dialogue and thought processes, and the one-sided conversations he has with his family, friends and the medical staff.

He has no memory of how he fell, and as the story progresses questions arise about the details of the accident. Was it more than just a careless incident? Did someone help Alex fall, and why?

The perspective of the possible victim is what gives this story a high level of suspense. The reader knows that Alex can’t help himself in any way, regardless of what he remembers or discovers about his accident.

Kudos to Koch for the ending, and for not feeling the need to bow down to the candy floss brigade of happy endings. It’s poetic injustice in a screwed up fictional kind of way.

Alex is lying in hospital in a 'locked-in' state following an accident two years earlier It doesn't look like he is going to come out of it and his family are debating having his life support withdrawn. He doesn't respond to various tests and the hospital believe he can't see, hear or feel anything. However Alex can hear and see but is unable to communicate. . The story is told from Alex's perspective. From bits of conversation around him he gets the idea that his climbing accident may not have been an accident .but a deliberate attempt on his life and that the Police were now investigating. He hears snippets of conversation but can't ask questions or try to explain anything.

I was intrigued by the description and liked the idea of this book.. I really wanted to like it. The writing itself is not bad however I lost interest mainly because nothing much happens in the first half of the book. It's really a monologue consisting of Alex's thoughts. I struggled on until I had read about 58% of the book and I've given up at this point (for now). I find I don't care about any of the characters.

I'm writing this on the last day of 2017 and I just can't face plodding on. It's just not for me. Other readers may love the book.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to finish it at the moment.

Written from the perspective of Alex, a young man who is in a locked-in state following a climbing accident this book expertly relates the changing emotions he feels over several months as he lies in his hospital bed unable to move, see or speak. During this time we hear of the visits he receives from medical professionals, friends and family - and others who he cannot place. His senses are on full alert and he comes to recognise his visitors from the fragrances they wear, the sounds of the different shoes they wear and the voices of the nursing staff who tend to him - some more kindly than others. He hears the conversations they have as they sit and talk about his condition and how life is continuing without him actively taking part.
One person who visits him causes him concern, as he cannot place their voice or scent in order to identify them. Are they a doctor or some other type of clinician? Alex cannot decide. Things take a further sinister turn when visitors start discussing the police investigation into the fall which put Alex here in the first place - but how can Alex let anyone know what he has heard when he cannot even move his eyes let alone talk? As far as the doctors and the tests have shown Alex is unresponsive.
The discomfort of day to day nursing care are very well written and the feelings of hope and despair which Alex goes through over the months are understandable and credible. I have to admit that I missed a vital piece of information in the story as I was reading and had a major moment where things clicked into place towards the end as things drew towards their conclusion.
The closing scenes were sensitively written and I felt suited Alex perfectly.
It is hard to believe that this is the author's debut novel and I will be looking out for her as a rising star in the coming months.
This review will feature on my blog www.sandiesbookshelves.blogspot.co.uk in the first week of Jan 2018

The blurb promises an unforgettable narrator and I feel that coma patient Alex is definitely that. Alex is attempting to solve the mystery of the climbing ‘accident’ that has put him in a coma while his relatives are deciding his future. The story is told through his thoughts and the conversations of visitors to his hospital room that he hears. It was a very effective method of narration but it did feel a little contrived at times. I was trying not to imagine myself in Alex’s circumstances but I did consider how I would have reacted if I were one of the family facing the decision of whether to continue life support. I do like a novel that has me asking myself tricky questions.

I don't think I have the words to explain how much this book has affected me.
I read it straight through willing Alex to get that little movement to let people know he is locked in his own body.
I finished it ten minutes ago and I am still crying.
Fantastic book, written as well as any I have read this year.
Thank you NetGalley for the pre publication copy. Thank you Emily Koch for your genius.

This is certainly an unusual way of relating a story of romance and murder. However, the thoughts of the comatose patient can only be guessed at and this does not convince me as a reader.

Alex had lay in a comatose state for two years following a rock climbing accident, but unbeknown to everyone around him, he wasn't brain dead but still had a constant internal dialogue. This unspoken monologue is the narrator of the story.

I liked this book but it didn't blow me away. The story became monotonous and despite there being only a few characters, I didn't really care that much about any of them. That said, the storyline was, for most part, engaging and thought provoking and it certainly kept me guessing until the end.

Many thanks to Netgalley for providing me with this ARC, for which I have given a voluntary and unbiased review.

This appealed to me on paper because read a book about Locked-In Syndrome and found it chilling. This was not like that however. The premise was interesting and I got palpitations from imagining being awake but unable to commuicate that fact. The problem for me was that it was painfully slow. It could have done everything it needed to in half the length but maybe that was deliberate, to add to the sense of boredom and frustration Alex felt in his coma? The story is told through the snippets we hear with Alex during hospital visits which means you need twice as much exposition just to get half as much actual info. In any case, this was readable but I had to skim and skip!

Ahh, another great read to continue my excitement at the fantastic novels being published in 2018! This is a tricky book to write my review on for two reasons - 1) I wanted bits of it to be different, and 2) I'm glad really that those bits weren't different! You need to read this novel to see what I'm saying, but I hugely enjoyed starting If I Die Before I Wake without knowing all that much about it, so I'm going to avoid including any details in this review which might give too much away!

The premise itself is really interesting - we see everything through the mind and consciousness of Alex. No one else is aware that Alex is actually conscious though, because Alex is in a coma after having a climbing accident. As the novel continues, however, we start to see that it may not have been such an accident after all...

There are plenty of doubtful characters in If I Die Before I Wake, a trope I love - I like that feeling of unsettledness, when you don't quite know who is authentic and who is hiding something. Alex himself starts to doubt some people around him, for different reasons. The fact that he is stuck in a hospital bed, fully aware of what's going on (though he can't see) and being able to feel and experience a lot of what's happening, means this book felt very claustrophobic. At times I noticed myself feeling more and more constricted, as Alex himself feels increasingly like this, and Emily Koch's ability to make the reader mimic Alex's feelings is amazing (though makes for an uncomfortable reading experience at times!). I felt like I was there with him, stuck in an unmoving, unresponsive body, having to hear conversations he doesn't want to hear, or being put in painful positions by unaware nurses. It's so uncomfortable to read sometimes, but this only makes it so much more powerful as a novel.

Then, of course, there's the mystery element. I do love a good mystery! This book is obviously quite unique in that we don't follow the police, or a smart private investigator, or even Alex's girlfriend Bea, as the case unfolds. We only find out what Alex can piece together, which is even more frustrating as he is never told anything because no one realises he can hear! It's a very unique way of storytelling and, although at times I just wanted to know WHAT IS GOING ON?, I appreciate the powerful storytelling that Emily Koch has presented here. I'd also like strong words with her about *that part* (I don't want to specify anything more so as not to give too much away). It definitely evoked strong feelings in me, and left me thinking about it long after I'd finished, which is certainly a sign of a compelling, well-written story!

Took awhile to get into the crime fiction bit but it did and was interesting and unique in it’s telling. Also raised the interesting questions around people who are in a coma as you will find out when you read this book.

A man ends up in hospital, unable to communicate with those who visit him. Will he pull through? Will the family have to make difficult decisions?

What happened on that cliff face to have him end up in hospital? What happens when the police start further enquiries months after the original belief that it was an accident?

If you want to read a completely different take on a mystery, crime fiction story this on will be for you.

Review will be posted on https://lovebooksreadbooks.wordpress.com/

Alex is in a coma, a vegetative state. Well, that's what everyone thinks. Truth is, he is actually suffering from Locked in Syndrome and is very much aware of everything going on around him. He just can't communicate that fact. A journalist by trade, his main hobby, his passion in life, is rock climbing and it was a fall, a nasty accidental fall that caused the head injuries he is now suffering with. He is our rather interesting narrator for this story and all we learn is from his observations of people talking in his presence as well as reminiscences from his past, told in flashbacks. When we first join him he has been in his care facility for two Christmases, he has to gauge time by events, and he has slowly been coming to the conclusion that maybe his accident wasn't as cut and dried as all that. This feeling is backed up when he hears talk of his case being reopened. Struggling to recall the events leading up to that fateful day, can Alex piece it all together to get to the truth before either it's too late for him, or too late for others close to him?
This book completely blew me away. All that we learn in the present and recent past is gleaned from Alex's eavesdropping on his visitors and the staff gossiping. This could have been a little contrived in nature, but every new piece of information was imparted in just the right way as to feel completely natural. As Alex also delves into his own past; his childhood, his growing up, his relationships, we learn more about him and, along with him, we start to piece together the puzzle in a rather haphazard and often incongruous way. Such in the nature of the beast that is his condition. Thank goodness for the human condition that is the nature to gossip and talk about people behind their backs!
Aside from the main story unravelling throughout the book, we also have insight into what it means for Alex to be in the predicament he finds himself in. How his care is managed, how the staff differ in their execution and attitudes, the technology employed to just keep him alive and the ongoing tests and procedures he had to endure, and I found that enhanced the story rather than distracted me from it. It was indeed somewhat of an eye opener in parts.
The story itself, his accident and what actually happened that day and the days, weeks, months that followed held me rapt throughout. Peppered along the way by the flashbacks and fill-ins from Alex's past, these being injected at just the right times to add interest and intrigue into the mix. Yes, you get the odd mis-remembered moment, only to be expected given the circumstances, and also the misinterpreted facts, and the mandatory red herrings along the way but these just added to the whole air of mystery that the book relied on to keep going as well as keeping me on my toes with my guessing!
Characterisation was also excellent. It's hard to give flesh to characters when the majority of interaction with them is through a single person's one-dimensional perspective but this is where the flashbacks really came into the mix, putting flesh on Alex's observational bones. Given the nature of the story, it's quite an emotional read all told, with Alex as he is, a situation that affects not only him, but his immediate family, his girlfriend who has stuck by him, and his main friends who also still visit him. As well as the story at hand, we also see things from their perspectives; how the accident has affected them too. Got me reaching for the tissues a couple of times along the way. One character that really stood out for me was the wonderful care nurse that attended to Alex's needs with total compassion.
Don't get me wrong, it's not all doom and gloom. There are also quite a few lighter moments to be had in this book. Had to be really otherwise the book would get too heavy, but with them, the book it manages to stay on the right path.
Once again, after finishing such as good a book as this was, I checked the author out and, to my utter shock, found that this is actually a debut book. A fact that I really do find hard to swallow as it was so very cleverly plotted and executed, and indeed quite brave given the main character and what he goes through in the book.
All in all, another top five read of the year for me and another author to look out for. With such as brilliant debut as this book, I really can't wait to find out where she takes me next time.
My thanks go to the Publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book.

I've heard of locked in syndrome, I'm sure most people have. It sounds utterly terrifying and Koch brings that terror to the pages of her debut novel, If I Die Before I Wake.
Alex is in a vegetative state. The doctors have convinced his friends and family that he cannot see, hear, feel, or well, anything really. He isn't there anymore. An accident has claimed him mind and body, it's quite a miracle that he's still able to breath alone, but that's pretty much all he can do for himself.
Except it's not.
Alex can hear everything. He can feel everything and he is desperate to make those around him realise that he's still there, he hasn't left them at all.
A bit of a slow burner, I wasn't quite sure where it was going to start with, told purely from Alex's point of view, we are taken on the journey of his life as he lies in his hospital bed. We see the good, the bad, and the ugly of the NHS, and the frustration of someone who is unable to communicate with the people around him. Not only that, they don't think he can hear them so there's no holds barred on some of things people say or do to him.
As we hit the halfway point, things really start to pick up. Alex starts to realise his accident wasn't an accident at all, but because no one thinks he's 'there', they don't tell him anything. He has use his fractured memories and snippets of conversations from his various visitors to try and piece together what happened to him, and when he does, he's launched into a race against the clock to save those he loves before they flick the switch.
If I Die Before I Wake is such an impressive debut novel, it's shocking. I haven't cried this much at a book since Louise Jensen's The Sister.
How Koch manages to keep the reader engaged when there isn't any action going on is testament to her writing skills, I was completely gripped and literally couldn't put this one down until I knew what would happen. Would Alex's family and friends discover the truth in time? Would the police believe that the accident wasn't an accident? Would the culprit be found? And most importantly ... Would they discover Alex was still there in time?
A fantastically unique idea to introduce a group of characters, I have to admit I'm still a little shell-shocked at how much emotion I still for them all. Completely captivating, heartbreaking, and definitely one you need to get pre-ordered and add to your TBR folks, it's a flipping belter!
I cannot wait to see what Koch has in store for us next!

Imagine being trapped inside your own mind,you can't move any part of your body,you can see but only every now and then and then that's only blurry images.The only thing that is working properly is your hearing and you are forced to listen while others decide wether you have a future or not.That's the nightmare world that Alex Jackson has found himself trapped in.Everyone believes that he is in a coma and is unlikely to wake up and all he can do is lie in his hospital bed and listen.As time passes Alex begins to realise that the accident that caused his condition wasn't really a accident.Even worse the person who tried to kill him is still out there and Alex is not the only one in danger.

The reader spends the whole of this gripping thriller being a passenger inside Alex`s head as he struggles with his fear,anger and frustration at the situation that he finds himself in.we follow as he goes back over what he can remember of his past,hoping to find some clue that will help him identify who tried to kill him.We listen into the interactions between his visitors including his father,sister and girlfriend Bea as well as the private thoughts that they shared with Alex himself.we also learn about the hospital staff who are responsible for his care including kind,caring Pauline and horrible,obnoxious Connie.The characters where a well developed cast of realistic personalities,I was really routing for poor Alex as he lay there,trapped inside his own head,trying desperately to communicate with the people who came into his hospital room.

I was hooked in by this riveting story from the very first page.There was a number of twists and red herrings that kept the reader guessing and the short snappy chapters gave me a very bad dose of Just one more chapter syndrome.The ending really got to me for personal reasons and I was close to tears when I finished the book.I loved this well written debut thriller and I look forward to reading more books by this author in the future.

If I Die Before I wake is a crime mystery which is original in that the narrative is delivered entirely from the perspective of Alex who is in a coma. Alex is trapped inside his own mind and despite tests indicating otherwise, he can hear, smell and feel pain but he cannot move.. Emily Koch has created an interesting and captivating crime thriller around Alex's tragic accident and the subsequent revelation of what happened to him.
With thanks to Net Galley for my advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

If I Die Before I Wake is such an interesting book and I enjoyed it from start to finish.

So, how do you solve your own murder? Alex’s family and friends are convinced he is in a coma, put there as a result of a tragic climbing accident with no chance of recovery. So much so they’re contemplating withdrawing his life support.

As his future is discussed, Alex can only listen. Slowly he begins to realise maybe it wasn’t an accident after all and can he use his remaining senses before it’s too late?

This book is a fabulous debut novel. Emily Koch draws you in from the first page and guides you to a fabulous ending. I can highly recommend this book and look forward to reading more from this author in the future.

Thank you to NetGalley, Random House UK and the author for the chance to review.

I loved the concept of If I Die Before I Wake but it just didn’t work for me.

The book is narrated by Alex, in a coma since a ‘hiking accident’ two years before. He is awake, can hear and feel everything around him, but in unable to move or speak. Doctors have long given up on him.

The book offers an interesting POV but I had major issues with this.

This slows down the pace at times to a snail’s pace which quickly became frustrating.

I found it hard to believe the various tests carried out did not show any brain activity for Alex. Really? I’m not a doctor so maybe this is possible but I just didn’t buy it. I’ve read books where people have what’s known as Locked-In Syndrome but as far as I’m aware they still register as having some brain activity.

I just found the POV very awkward at times, with Alex’s thoughts in italics and reading part conversations of various people who visit him. This didn’t work for me.

There are some good twists and turns in If I Die Before I Wake when Alex finds out what really happened to him. However, the awkward POV spoiled the whole book for me. It would have worked better to have the POV of other characters as well.

This book is surreal and unusual, and truly original. What is it like to be in a coma, but able to comprehend what is going on around you? After a terrible accident, Alex Jackson, wakes up and finds himself able to hear and understand the doctors and nurses, and all the family who love him, however, he cannot move or show that he is conscious and aware, as he is paralysed, and unable to communicate in any way. The doctors can't seem to find any brain waves to confirm he is still aware. Gradually he begins to understand that he may be the victim of a crime, after piecing together in his mind all that is said around him, with the bits and pieces he remembers. Surreal and unusual, ultimately this book reflects on the meaning of family and memories, and what it is to love. A brilliant book, and thought provoking. in so many ways, not least about ethical questions.