Having been a follower of Akwaeke Emezi on Instagram for some time, I was thrilled to see she'd written a novel. I expected it to be a reflection of the beautiful images and energy she floods us with on her Instagram feed. My oh my - I had no idea this book would be the exact opposite. 

The book's blurb does do a bit of foreshadowing by including phrases like: 'troubled baby,' 'source of deep concern to her parents,' 'volatile and splintered child,' 'something went terribly awry,' 'traumatic assault,' 'dark and dangerous direction.' 

So maybe it's my own damn fault for being so naive. But I just didn't think she had it in her! 

While I guess I can now say the warnings were there, I did not gather from the book's blurb that Asụghara and Saint Vincent were actually spirits. They were described as 'alternate selves.' Through the first five chapters, the narrative is presented from the point of view of 'We.' So even though the spirits are present from sentence one, Ada (their human vessel) is very much present as well. And I was enjoying reading about her. 

Asụghara takes over the narrative in the sixth chapter and we see less of Ada - she is only present as Asụghara's vessel. I didn't like Asụghara. Well, Asụghara is evil so I guess I wasn't supposed to like her. But I could not deal with her either. It was too heavy. Too much. She was destroying Ada. So I guess this is where I have to give Akwaeke credit because Asụghara was f-ing me up too! I tried to read past her, hoping to return to a more balanced narrative (a 'We' chapter) that didn't have Ada completely in the background. But with Asụghara leading five of the next eight chapters (and the some of the chapters she wasn't leading were as short as 2 pages), I'd had enough of her by page 142. When I saw the following chapter was Asụghara's as well, I was done. 

As I started skimming through the rest of the book, I was taken aback to see some of the Ada's experiences begin aligning with Akwaeke's. Akwaeke recently published a piece in The Cut about being "nonbinary trans, ogbanje, and related surgeries." If you're like me and are wanting to read this book because you love Akwaeke's Instagram feed, I'd recommend reading this article and then picking up the book. 

All of that said, unfortunately, this book goes on my list of books I did not finish. I never give books I didn't finish more than one or two stars. But as I'm sure you've surmised, this is certainly not a one or two star book. I need this book tour to get a Washington, DC stop added ASAP!

Official review now on my book blog: https://africanbookaddict.com/2018/02/03/freshwater-by-akwaeke-emezi/

When you dissect this stunning debut novel, it has many more layers than you might think. It deals with schizophrenia (or multiple personality disorder, I am not a professional in these questions), but because it is set in Africa, author Akwaeke Emezi adapted the Western medicine diagnosis into a more rudimentary one: demons. So not only is the protagonist Ada possessed by two god-demons, the story is also told from their perspective, which is really intriguing. How often do you get to read a book written in the "we"-perspective? Much less simple, but eerily disturbing sentences like "our body", which is how the protagonist is referred to by the demons.

It often felt as if at any point, this novel was teetering on the brink of becoming unacceptable, distasteful and offensive, but - in my modest opinion - it always managed to reign itself in. A lot of things about the demons actually made sense and changed common plot points into something innovative. After Ada is raped (trigger warning!), the demons gain power, form and voice - they are literally birthed from the trauma and also take over her consciousness at any later sexual activities (even consensual ones) as a distancing mechanism that Ada employs. The novel also describes self-harm (trigger warning for that, too!) as a sacrifice of blood to the demons living inside of her. As I said: common narratives, but twisted into a new directions. The undeniable element of magical realism certainly helped with accepting these twists of these delicate subjects. If you can not read a realistic novel treating mental issues in this way, just read it as a fantasy novel. There are moments that make this reading clearly the prefered one, such as when the demons suddenly make Ada allergic to many things in order to keep her body "clean".

The symbolism was maybe obvious, as the demons were very balanced. One is African, called a "beast", clearly the Id. The other is Christian, called a "saint", clearly the Super-Ego. One is female, the other male - Ada therefore carries both genders inside of her (hence the LGBT-categorization) and the demons later make her live as trans* and undergo surgery for a more ambiguous, gender-non-conforming body. Since both demons have a straight sexual orientation, depending on which one is in control, Ada is attracted to both genders and therefore bi, another reason for the LGBT-label on this novel. 

The (granted, unavoidable and maybe evident) ending felt a bit rushed. Otherwise, this was a great novel! Certainly very innovative and crushing genre-boundaries as well as gender-boundaries. It is a good candidate for a re-read, as I am sure there are many subtle things I missed in this short, but so multilayered and rich book.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. It was unique, complex, thought provoking, and seriously unlike anything I’ve ever read. The folklore, the ideas, and the different points of view made this a very interesting and intriguing read. I loved how the book discussed many different serious topics and made them a part of the story. Reading this book was like a rollercoaster, there were ups, downs, and you never knew where it was going to go. I really had no problems with this book other than the fact that it could be extremely confusing at times, which led me to be bored. Certain POV’s held less weight to the story for me, so I didn’t enjoy reading them as much. Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed this read and would highly recommend it, with some trigger warnings.

I received an arc of this from the publisher through NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Freshwater is a book which was slightly different for me. I liked it.
Ada, our main character was born to Nigerian Father and Indian Mother as a second child. She with her brings brothersisters inside her. Brothersisters are based on Nigerian Mythology reffered as “Ogbanje”.

I was the wildness under the skin, the skin into a weapon, the weapon over the flesh. I was here. No one would ever touch her again.

The first part of the book is narrated by a “we”, that is brothersisters who creates chaos in a child’s mind. Then when Ada grows up and moves to the US. There some traumatic events leads these brothersisters inside her to more fragmentation of self and creates Asụghara and Saint Vincent. Asụghara in Ada, makes her go reckless, do self harm, run wild. Saint Vincent is the man part in Ada, who is passive while Asụghara is boiling in Ada. But when Asụghara is failing/doubtful Saint Vincent takes charge and makes Ada to try be a man.

The story of Ada’s family is also there in a background, slowly ticking in between. The family issues , the child abuse which were told in a unconventional way. The story is recontextualized at several places and throw light on a situation in a different angle. A very good book. I still feel disturbed by this one and this might stay a bit in a corner of my mind.


Everything gets clearer with each day, as long as I listen. With each morning, I am less afraid.

Happy Reading!!
ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making

ogbanje - an evil spirit that deliberately plague a family with misfortune 
"children who come and go" 
(from Wikipedia) 

Freshwater is reminiscent of ancient Greek tragedy.   I imagined the different gods and spirits as the chorus.  This novel is unique and beautiful.. It shows how women use masks to hide trauma and how pain can change your trajectory.  This is the language of misery and anger.  This is art.  

(netgally)

This is the strangest book I’ve ever read.
Firstly, the narrative is told by Ada’s fractured personalities as they emerge. Their voices are so distinctive and powerful. The first two, Smoke and Shadow, are two asexual spirits that take over Ada’s body after her mother’s abandonment and physical abuse. The third one, the beastself Asughara, takes over after Soren’s rape, and is responsible for Ada’s wild side, seeking the most dangerous and cruellest men and entering the least successful relationships. There’s another ego, Saint Vincent, who tries to keep Ada safe by transforming her in an androgynous being, binding and even surgically removing her feminine parts. Yet, these selves / spirits are not the only responsible for Ada’s sufferings, she is herself prone to self-harm and she can take full responsibility for her broken marriage. What I found weird was Ada and her fractured selves conferring in her marble room (really?). 
Secondly, this strange story is mixed up with Nigerian mythology. Ada is convinced she’s Ala’s child, the fertility goddess of earth and ruler of the underworld, and Ala is waiting for her to return into her womb, whereas Shadow, Smoke and Asughara are her messengers. Shadow and Smoke think of themselves as pythons so they go through moulting with every trauma Ada suffers. Asughara is Ada’s wicked twin, only stronger. Though they seem to protect Ada, their final scope is to bring her back to Ala, hence Ada’s attempted suicide.
We only hear Ada’s own voice in two instances, once praying to Ishwa for salvation, prayer left unanswered, and in the final chapter, where she seeks her life’s meaning in Ala’s myth, and, I have no doubt, finds it in Freshwater – the beginning and the end.
I am sure there are more layers to this story, I am very grateful for having the opportunity to read it.

This book is beautiful and dark. Freshwater tells the spiritual journey of Ada, who was born with Gods inside her body. Ada’s story is told from the unique perspective of the more vindictive God who becomes dominant following a traumatic experience. This is evident by the way the book is structured. Ada’s chapters are short, less than one page long, of which there are very few. We witness many heartbreaking experiences while being distanced from them by the God’s harsh and at times apathetic perspective. 

I have not read anything like this before and will be thinking on it for some time. You could say it got under my skin. I could easily re-read Freshwater again to bask in the beautiful prose for example: “She was a question wrapped in a breath: How do you survive when they place a God inside your body.” 

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me an advanced copy and Akwaeke Emezi for writing such a beautiful book. 

Caution: This book may be triggering for some people. It deals with self-harm, rape, child sexual abuse and suicide.

Premise: "Freshwater explores the surreal experience of having a fractured self. It centers around a young Nigerian woman, Ada, who develops separate selves within her as a result of being born "with one foot on the other side.""

I don’t understand the love for this book. Yes, it’s highly original and it was well written but it just wasn’t for me.

Some of the language was beautifully descriptive:
“...she drank a lot of tequila, pouring the golden burn of it down her throat till it held her from the inside out...”

“...the snow fell thickly like it was being shoveled out of the sky.”

And more. But.

Ada is or was a python— this book often was confusing. Ada has brothersisters —and others —all with different names. Ada’s other personalities — primarily Asughara and Saint Vincent—struggle to take control of her. And Ada moves around a lot—Malaysia, Nigeria, London and America.

Ada is heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual? Partially transitions by having her breasts removed but then becomes heterosexual again —all part of her personality struggles.

Because of all her issues she also has some mental instability —no wonder.

At multiple points she contemplates suicide. She is a cutter but then turns to tattoos as another way of marking herself.

This novel is very dark.

Read it for yourself and decide.

This is one of those books that is beautiful on so many levels that it is almost overpowering. The language is spare, yet lovely and so descriptive I felt the individual madness of each separate character. The story is stunning, heartbreaking, and ultimately one of the best books I’ve read in a long time.

This book is a story of human mental illness told through a mythological view. Many Igbo stories and beliefs are similar to Pueblo beliefs, so much of the allegory resonated with me. Ada is a young woman who is struggling with the selves who have emerged from a splintered connection to her creator. Surrounded by people who understand very little of what she is going through, it becomes easier to listen to her madness than the well meaning but useless help from her friends and family. The story is mostly told by Ada’s other selves, and because of this the horror and sadness she feels are very detached to the reader. It’s almost like reading a case study. It’s not until the end of the story that the reader realizes how horrible her experiences have been, and how much she has suffered.

I will recommend this book over and over. I realize it’s not a book for everyone, and it’s not a light read, but it’s still one of those books I think people should have anyway, just to have it nearby. Thanks Netgalley for giving me an opportunity to read it early!

3.5 stars

Trigger warnings: HEAVY for suicide and self-injury, as well as drug use, domestic violence, and sexual abuse of children.

This is going to be a short review because it’s hard to say much about this book. This was a well-written and fascinating look into severe mental illness, narrated by the varying personalities existing within Ada as well as Ada herself.

The first third or so of the book is difficult to get into, as it is narrated by “We”, the ogbanje who inhabit Ada’s body. They refer to her as “the Ada” and see themselves as separate entities who only make use of her body as their home for the time being. Following a sexual assault in college, Ada births the personalities of Asughara and then Saint Vincent via the ogbanje. Each plays a different role in protecting Ada and moving her through life.

Throughout the novel also are Ada’s interactions with contemporary religion, and how it plays a role in her life when it isn’t Yshwa who comes to save her, but her own mind.

The ending is vague and purposefully so. I have an idea on how to interpret it, but I think I’ll keep it to myself for now.

I am a sucker for Nigerian folklore, so Freshwater got my attention from the very first line. It's the story of (the) Ada, a Nigerian woman who has, among other things, multiple personality disorder. Her different personalities (who happen to be gods) emerge at different points in her life, following different traumatic events. 
First of all, this story deals with complex and difficult themes: self harm, fractured families, physical abuse, rape, suicide, gender identity, mental health, guilt... The list seems almost endless. I loved how complex and messy it was. The author does not shy away from the dark. Oh, and I liked that it was different. I have never read something like it before.
There were some issues I had with the story. I found the constant time warps rather confusing, as I tried to keep up with Ada's spiralling life. Considering how already complex the story is, I would have preferred a more linear plot, rather than going back and forth in the story. I thought some characters who seemed to play an important role in Ada's life were introduced as and afterthought (Uche) and others did not add much to the story (St Vincent).
I would recommend Freshwater with a trigger warning disclaimer for the reader. The book description on Netgalley says Freshwater is "based in the author's reality" which really intrigues me. I would love to hear her give a talk about the book.

This was absolutely stunning. From the very first page I knew I was in for something extraordinary and unlike anything I have ever read. This debut combines many things I adore in books: unconventional framing and unreliable narrators, a story that gets recontextualized constantly and kept me on my toes, a basis in mythology that informed but did not over-shadow the actual story, perfect sentence structure that packs an unbelievable punch, and so many more things that I am still struggling to adequately talk about.

This is Ada's story, or more accurately Ada's and her other personalities' story. The first part is told in a we-perspective from her alternate personalities, brothersisters based in Nigerian mythology, that frame her story in what that means to them rather than her. The Ada, as she is called by them, then moves to the US where a traumatic events leads to a further fragmentation of self, Asụghara and Saint Vincent who will take over more and more. These two selves are even more different to her than the brothersisters were and tend to wreck havoc in her life. This description does not really do the book any justice because more than a straightforward narrative, the story unfolds forward and backwards with things happening (or not?) and is highly introspective. As I was wondering about the timeline, Akwaeke Emezi pulled the rug under me more often than I could count, leaving my head spinning and my heart broken.

I do not think I can do this book justice, but believe me when I say that this is an extraordinary achievement and unlike anything I read before. This will for sure stay with me and keep me thinking for months to come.

The description of this book does not do it justice. The protagonist, Ada, is inhabited by gods who have been trapped in her with the door to their god-world still partially opened, so that they are aware of what they have lost and where they are. The story is told alternately by Ada and several of the gods living within her. While supernatural, it is also a moving portrait of a young woman’s experience of various forms of abuse, depression, and (maybe?) madness. It is a universal tale, told through an African lens, in exquisite language. I would highly recommend it!

A surprising novel to finish the year. I was confused for several chapters, but let my brain settle into the magic realism, or mysticism, or whatever you want to call it, and enjoyed the story from there. It's tough to read at times, never completely clear... but also really beautiful and touching. I'm so glad I found this little treasure.

Whew. This book is refreshingly, compellingly different. A part of me thinks I should probably wait a day or two before writing the review to let all that I've read completely marinate and digest. However, I am compelled to get it all out while the impression it has left is strong and penetrating. The Dedication of the book says "To those of us with one foot on the other side." From that moment you know this book will be unlike anything you've ever read and it did not disappoint. Emezi illustrated with perfection just how delicate our grasp on reality can be and how experiences we have repressed can shape who become and the choices we make. If you've ever struggled with balancing your spiritual and human self, you identify with Ada immediately and even sometimes lose patience with her just as we often do with ourselves when we forget (or simply don't know) just how spiritually powerful we are. 

I didn't fully understand where Emezi was going with the different voices or "personalities" of Ada, sometimes even believing that she was writing a novel about mental illness and spiritual awakening. However, seeing how they evolved throughout the story and how Ada eventually understood the necessity of their existence made this novel an amazing portrait of why traditional African religions still have an important place in the lives of the descendants of Africa.

When I got the depths of this novel, here during these dark hours, I was blown away!  My eyes were misty at the end.
It’s absolutely the most brilliant creative book written of its kind ....
It became personal to me....looking back at my own journey- my own struggles - my own fight - my own growth - my own inner peace.

At one point I kept thinking,
“No wonder it’s soooo hard for people to get well”. 
“No wonder people repeat the same repetitive unwanted behaviors for years”.

I don’t usually write reviews on my iPhone from bed - 
I’m usually not ‘this’ vague about the story either.  But honestly it’s best to TAKE THIS BOOK IN....read each word - digest it! 
Its possible to read this novel in different ways.  Many ways to experience it. 

For me... I related it to our little voices in our heads ... that little voice which always speaks to us. 
The critical voice -the happy voice too - 
I thought about the deeper evil spirits ... the personality splits.
I loved the metaphysical storytelling.  At times it felt contemporary as any other novel - ha!! 
Parents - family - struggles - coming of age
- interests - education - travel - sex - friends - but....
THIS IS NOT like ANY BOOK I’ve ever read!!!

It took me about 8% to understand what I was reading - what was going on...

It took my almost half way to get the DEPTS AND POWER of this novel...
And then the ending... OH MY GOSH....it’s soooo beautiful. It still wants to make me cry!!!!

“Freshwater” is FRESH!!! Sooooooooo GORGEOUSLY written....
It allowed me to distant myself - FROM - myself - and be incredibly thankful  that I have made remarkable growth in the area of healing in my lifetime. 

This is one of the most unique and symbolic transforming books I’ve ever read!!!!   

Thank you Grove Atlantic, Netgalley, and the brilliant author Akwaeke Emezi

I couldn't get into this book. Probably my end-of-the-semester brain, not the writing. 

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This novel is unique, intense and immersive. Incredible characters and story. The prose alone was so beautifully written that I couldn't let myself put it down and when I did I found myself thinking of it. I'm looking forward to sharing this with my family and friends.

Such an interesting combination of mental health issues and religion/cultural influence. In Freshwater, a young girl becomes fractured and her personalities express themselves as Nigerian gods. As the reader, you almost believe that this supernatural force is affecting her, but that's the beauty of the novel. It makes you realize just how POSSIBLE it is to be overcome by voices and thoughts that are simultaneously yours and not yours. You begin questioning your own perception of reality.

For a book that I never would have picked up on my own, this one was a solid read.