St. Martin's Press and NetGalley provided me with an electronic copy of In Shock: My Journey from Death to Recovery and the Redemptive Power of Hope. I voluntarily chose to review this book and my opinion is freely given.

Dr. Rana Awdish gives a first person account of what it is like to be a patient, suffering from a catastrophic illness and extreme loss. Her strength of spirit and determination come through strongly in her memoir, as does the frailty of the body. Dr. Rana Awdish is an incredible woman, having suffered greatly, but persevered under an extreme set of circumstances that nearly took her life. It is her strength of writing, and the way that she describes how doctors should treat their patients, that make In Shock an excellent read that I would recommend.

It is amazing, in this day and age, that more hospitals do not require sensitivity by all of their staff. Having been a family member of someone with a chronic illness, I often witnessed the doctors dismissing the patient to talk with the family instead. The part of the memoir that really resonated with me was when Rana described her thoughts and feelings while in a coma. Having heard a first person account from a loved one, the doctor's words struck me personally. I applaud the author for her candor and I truly recommend In Shock to other readers.

A good book giving not only the view of a patient but also the view of someone knowing the entire medical system from the side of a doctor.
I think the author did a good job with telling her story overall even if i do think that sometimes the book when on a bit long on a specific topic the ti am sure meant a lot to the author -since she is talking about her own life- but was not really important for the reader either at that point in the story or because it was just not something that the reader connected to.

overall defiantly worth a read if you are interested in the book!

An emotional account of life, loss, and health, and how it all can change in a matter of moments.

What an incredible book! Rana's story was compelling, scary, honest, brutal, heartwreching, gutwrenching, heartwarming, hopeful, and so much more, all at the same time. I teared up in multiple parts of her story and read it in two sittings over the course of one day. It was so compelling that I just couldn't put it down. Doctors and patients alike (let's face it, that's everyone, because we will all be a patient someday) need to read this book. Doctors so they know how to treat patients better. Patients so they know how to advocate for themselves better. This book is part memoir, part cautionary tale, part instruction manual. I can't recommend reading it enough - Rana has such a way with words and writes in an almost poetic fashion. I wish Rana, her husband, and their son many years of health, wellness, and happiness and am hoping she makes a huge impact on the medical community.
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for providing me a copy of this book to review.

A great read,about a dr that is 7 months pregnant and all she does through,it is a page turner loved it.

Good memoir of when the doctor becomes the patient. Very honest and powerful. I really enjoyed this book and have recommended it to others. Kudos to the author. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the ARC of this book in return for my honest review.

The doctor became the patient when Awdish, seven months pregnant, was rushed into emergency surgery with excruciating pain due to severe hemorrhaging into the space around her liver. Initially diagnosed as HELLP, an often fatal liver syndrome that affects 1% of pregnant woman, her condition was later explained by a ruptured liver tumor. Her unborn daughter didn’t survive, and she nearly died herself. It was as if she was hovering in the upper corner of the operating room, watching her body being worked on, hearing colleagues yell things she’d uttered without a thought so many times: things like “she’s been trying to die on us,” “she’s circling the drain here,” “we’re losing her.”

Over the years of her recovery, which involved multiple further procedures as she tried to get well enough to bear another child, Awdish’s whole perspective on medical care changed. Having experienced brusque, cursory treatment, even from colleagues at her Detroit-area hospital, she was convinced that doctors needed to do better, to truly listen to their patients’ stories and fears – not so they could fill out the necessary forms and move on, but so that their decisions could be “built on empathy and a patient-centered narrative.” Trust and honesty are more important than efficiency, she argues. This memoir is a gripping story of her own medical journey and a fervent plea for compassion from medical professionals.

Wow! This is a fascinating window into the world of healthcare from the perspective of someone who is on the "inside". In my naivety, I had always assumed that fellow medical personnel received different treatment than those of us who are not, but this book opened my eyes to that being a myth in most cases. I am extremely saddened and sorry for this author, because of her loss, but in her grief, she became a better, more empathetic physician, which the world could use more of. Would definitely recommend!

“Inherent within that phrase (She’s/he’s been trying to die on us.) is the reality that we attribute intention to the patient, rudely hurling himself toward death.”
--Rana Awdish, M.D.


I was very curious about this book after seeing the cover and reading the brief description, but I wasn’t sure how clinical and dry it would be, and even if I would understand what Rana Awdish was writing about. In a way, it seems to be a call to the medical community to take a look at how they are treating people. It does start off a bit like that, where she talks about her team and how they work together. However, when she moves into describing what happened to her, the book took off for me and completely pulled me into her experience. One thing that is interesting is that she does state doctors do keep an emotional distance from their patients because they feel that getting involved that way would lead to burnout. Coupled with the long hours they work, and the exhaustion they often feel, they don’t think this would be a good thing. Having read that, it helped me to better understand my mom’s care when she was in the hospital.


Rana does such a good job of conveying how she feels at each point in this book. From how curious she was about the sensations she was feeling when the problem first developed to how she angry she became after hearing the doctor say, “She is trying to die on us. “ And then came the realization that she had said the same thing about her patients. I really appreciated how deeply the author looked at how she and other doctors interact with their patients. Rana also shares parts of her life that truly surprised me; I was astonished by all she had been through.



Sooner or later, most of us will end up in a hospital. I highly recommend this behind the scenes look at the people who are employed there, and I hope those in the medical field take the time to read this book too.

This memoir is packed from start to finish with reasons to keep reading. The author’s insistent and critical illnesses are staggered alongside meaningful musings about the nature of studying and practicing medicine, making for a well-paced narrative. The way the crises are interspersed with thoughtfulness creates a balance of tension and slack that’s beautifully rendered. There are some moments and turns of phrase that made me question whether the book was ghost-written, at least in part. This isn’t a critique necessarily, but rather a notation of inconsistency in voice that was slightly jarring. But above all, In Shock is well worth a read, especially for anyone working in medicine.

Written by physician, this is her journey through organ failure, multiple surgeries, and medical procedures. Her view of things is directly opposite of what it has always been, and her experiences as a patient really open her eyes up to that experience and how it must be changed positively. This is engrossing and inspiring, and she is a voice that must be heard by us all. Recommended.

This is a book I wish physicians in training were given to read and to discuss. Awdish's tragedy- the loss of her child- is a teaching point for other physicians even as she is trying to process what has happened. Her illness and recovery are amazing; be aware that she does not spare us details of what are sometimes difficult medical and personal issues. If you've ever thought that doctors have it better when they are hospitalized or treated, this book will make you think again. The language is not poetic- it's straightforward and at times seems almost emotionless but at the same time, you always feel Awdish's beating heart. Her struggles and her relationship with her husband are documented in a way I've not read before in this type of memoir. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. Try this one if you are interested in well written memoirs, the state of health care, and as the title states- hope.

Whilst this book was interesting, I didn't love it. There were parts that hooked me in - but most of the book felt almost like a rant where I turned page after page waiting for something engaging again.

When Rana Awdish, is struck down by a sudden and unexpected health crisis midway through a pregnancy, she ends up on the other end of the stethoscope, and comes to the realization that her training as a physician has taught her to divorce herself, emotionally, from her patients out of self-defense, and that the practice of dehumanizing medicine needs to change.
The first half of the book is striking in that Awdish describes her experience in very stark and clinical terms. Her description of losing her baby seems very detached, which only serves to portray the lengths to which clinicians have gone to separate themselves from the emotional side of illness and death. The descriptions of the numerous surgeries and operations she endured to regain a somewhat normal life are grueling.
The second half of the book which incorporates her desire to change the way doctors are trained to relate to their patients and their families is very inspiring, and if I were an eternal optimist, I'd believe that her book could affect that, but the medical industry is a very large, complicated corporate monster that will not, most likely, morph into something kinder and more perceptive in the near future.
All in all, a very well-written memoir describing the struggle to understand our fallibility, and the changes that need to happen in our health care system if we truly want to serve the patients with respect and compassion..

Great read. Especially when like myself I worked previously in a medical setting. I found the book very true to lie and enjoyable. Had a rush of different emotions while reading this and would recommend to all

My book choices and review history make it clear that I am in a love affair with memoirs. I'm pretty sure I love reading them because looking into someone else's life, usually waaaaay more interesting than mine, is fascinating. It's enlightening and educational. It's often emotional and moving. Those are emotions I was expecting as I started reading In Shock--and it delivered! Although not exactly how I was anticipating. Dr. Rana Awdish definitely has an incredible story to tell--and it's all pretty darn riveting.

The book chronicles several years of her life as a doctor, as a patient, as a wife and mother. But reading her story didn't make me cry or make me feel sorry for her. What happened to Awdish WAS terrible, shocking, and life-changing, but she writes in a clinical way that feels a bit removed from it. I get the impression this was to keep the book focused on what was learned from her experience, not on the experience itself. For example, when an obstetrical resident did an ultrasound on her while she was 7 months pregnant, in extreme pain, and on the brink of death; she sees before he does, that there is no heartbeat. She breathlessly verbalizes this out loud, and with the most shocking insensitivity, he says, "Can you show me where you see that?" Yeah. He said that. I'll just give you a minute here to process that before I go on. A woman just that second realizes her baby is gone, and in place of sympathy, he looks for a teachable moment for HIMSELF! Wow, I can't even... As the story moves on, Awdish doesn't go into any detail on her feelings about the catastrophic loss of her baby girl. At first it seemed such an odd, anesthetized reaction, but then she writes, "I felt invisible to him." Ohhhh, right. Yes. It's not about her feelings about her baby, it's about how the resident made his patient feel. She goes on to effectively make her point about the education of medical professionals this day and age saying, "We aren't trained to see our patients. We are trained to see pathology. We are taught to forage with scalpels and forceps for an elusive diagnosis buried within obfuscating tissues."

Instances like this make the book like...80% about what's happening today in medicine and 20% Awdish's personal story. While that's a little opposite from most memoirs I read, it was skillfully done and it really worked in this book. At its ends, the introduction and last chapter were a bit protracted, in my opinion, but there are some insightful and important points made in both. Personally, I would've liked a bit more emotion, but hey...it's not my memoir, and this is still a thoughtful, worthwhile read just the way it is.

Well written book I had a hard time putting down, I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for a honest review.