This book is nearly seven years old and I still have not read it. While I hope that it was good, I do not have time to go back to it.

I enjoyed this love-tangled novel, "My Last Love Story" by Falguni Kothari. A unique situation involving a love triangle, serious terminal illness, marriage, traumatic past, family attachments and expectations, as well as fertility/pregnancy/legacy. Complex and steamy. Thank you NetGalley, the author and publisher for the review copy. All opinions are my own.

The theme of the book is grim yet uplifting. It sheds light on the human nature to endure and rebuild life. Although the characters are drawn out well, I personally found the theme to be very emotionally charged.

This culturally-rich, emotionally-wrenching novel takes everything typical about a love triangle and turns it upside down. Kothari captures the unique perspective of three friends from diverse backgrounds, while at the same time presenting issues relatable and compelling to every reader. The plot is deeply layered and provides a touching look at how to face the unthinkable with dignity. It also gives a fresh and engaging look at the diversity found among Indian-Americans. This has the potential to be a powerful story, one that unites people from varying cultural and religious backgrounds by going to the heart of grief as well as the soul of friendship. Simi’s frequent fantasies of a ménage à trois seem out of place, however, and serve as an awkward speed bump in Nirvaan’s cancer story, making it difficult to determine the intended tone of the novel. Additionally, a fairly-graphic rape scene may be disturbing for many readers.

first seen on RT Book Reviews, Feb 2018

I found this to be a hard book to enjoy as the subject matter was pretty grim for the most part. At times I really felt engaged with the story and at other times it just felt awkward. Simi, Narvaan, and Zayaan meet years before. They decide they are going to be best friends forever. Simi and Zayann then fall in love and plan to marry. A terrible event happens in Simi’s life and she stops all contact with the two men. Her engagement to Zayaan is off and neither of them knows what has happened with her. Years later she reconnects with Nirvaan and they marry. Now Nirvaan is dying of cancer. He is determined Simi should have a baby so his legacy with continue. He is also convinced that Simi and Zayaan should repair their fractured relationship so they can be together when he is gone. He has convinced Zayaan to come live with them for his final months. Zayaan will do anything for Nirvaan so he agrees to come and help out with Nirvaan’s care until his death. It is very tragic and sad that Nirvaan is dying at such a young age but I felt at times he was too autocratic. It felt uncomfortable in places. My heart broke for Simi with what she has endured in life and was glad to see she was happy in her marriage and also pleased to see where her life was going in the future. Will look for more from this author.

If you’re like me, you don’t like fluffy fic. And if you’re like me, you also prefer your romance fiction to be on the edgier, darker, angstier side.

Well you’re in luck. These books are anything but sweet and schmoopie, and I guarantee they’ll appeal to the anti-sappy reader in you.

Fire Sermon by Jamie Quatro: In this tale of a thorny affair, Quatro has figured out how to combine mesh erotic love with the spiritual. Maggie, a writer, mother, and wife who finds herself yearning for a grand passion and a better understanding of God, begins a passionate extramarital relationship with James, a poet who has many of the same unsettling questions. Maggie will find herself on the edge of desire, betrayal and faith as she tangles between her feelings for James and her deep devotion for her family. Grove Atlantic

The Long Deception by Mary McCluskey:Are our memories of youth accurate? Or do we only remember the good and filter out the bad? In McCluskey’s story, Alison Eastlake is caught between her past and present when her childhood friend Sophie commits suicide. Obligated to go back home to face the many questions that arise, Alison must also confront the attraction she still feels for Sophie’s brother Matt, which pushes her closer towards a reckless affair. Little A/Amazon Publishing

The Days When Birds Come Back by Deborah Reed: Trying her best to stay sober while putting her life back together after a painful divorce, June returns to the place where she grew up, hoping that this connection with her childhood will help heal her wounds. When she meets Jameson, a man that is perhaps as broken as she is, June must decide if she dares risk her heart one more time. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Dreaming in Chocolate by Susan Bishop Crispell: Don’t let the smores-by-the-campfire title fool you. Bishop Crispell’s heroine Penelope Dalton hasn’t had it easy. Although running a lovely hot chocolate cafe in the company of her mother is close to idyllic, Penelope is afraid she won’t be able to give her daughter won’t she wants the most: her biological father who is in town for only a few days, and as it happens, has no idea he has a daughter. St. Martin’s Griffin

Between Me and You by Allison Winn Scotch: A charmed marriage is interrupted by ambition and fame in this Hollywood-set novel. Ben Livingston and Tatum Connelly meet unexpectedly while struggling with their careers as a screenwriter and actor. Years of a happy marriage lead to resentment and distance when Tatum’s star rises while Ben’s slowly slumps, making their relationship teeter on the edge of separation and remembering what brought them together all those years ago. Lake Union Publishing

My Last Love Story by Falguni Kothari: Desai’s novel will surely make you ponder the question: what would I do? Simi Desai’s life is upended when her husband is diagnosed with cancer. At only thirty Simi feels she’s losing the most important thing in her life, but is in for a shock when her husband tells her he has two last wishes in his final months: first, that she’ll have his baby so that a piece of him lives on, and second, that she’ll reconcile with her old flame, who just happens to be their mutual best friend. Over the course of their last summer together, Simi’s husband is determined to prove to Simi that it’s okay to move on without him, and even find love again. Graydon House

The Music Shop by Rachel Joyce: The year is 1988, and on a run-down suburb in London there is a small music shop with records of every variety imaginable. Frank, the shop’s owner, knows exactly what music customers need as soon as they come into his store. But one day, Ilse Brauchmann enters his store and his life, and eventually asks Frank to teach her about music. Scared of any kind of connection, Frank doesn’t know whether to run or take a real risk, while Ilse is not really who she says she is. Will music bond them together, or fuel their fears instead? Random House

Say My Name by Allegra Huston: Eve has always settled for the safest option, afraid to experience the unknown. She’s married safely, has an ordinary life. But in the wake of a betrayal, she finds herself wanting more. When she one day goes antique hunting for a friend, she finds a rare instrument, carved with twining vines. This sets her on a journey, and into the path of a much younger man who happens to be the son of an old love. Eve is astounded when she finds herself deeply attracted to him, and is even more surprised when he pursues her with bold determination. But can a connection between two very different people last? And can she ever go back to she used to be? Will she even want to? Harlequin

Trigger warning: rape

This is a complicated book to review. I was intrigued by the idea of a dying man essentially setting his wife up for a life without him. It is an interesting premise that explores themes about friendship, religion, secrets, and family in unexpected ways.

The relationships at the center of this novel are complex yet compelling. Simeen, Nirvaan, and Zayaan have been friends ever since the night Nirvaan and Zayaan saved Simi's life at a party. They call themselves the Awesome Threesome and while Simi married Nirvaan, Zai was her first love and the one she hoped to marry someday.

We find out fairly early on that something terrible happened to Simi the night of her 18th birthday. The actual circumstance is not depicted until about halfway through the novel. The rape plays a big role in Simi's life, not only the trauma of what happened but her decision not to tell Zai and Nirvaan about it. Her choice to keep this a secret was really hard for me- I could understand to some degree but wished she would at least tell her husband.

Between Nirvaan's decline, his wish for Simi to have their child via IVF even though she's not sure she wants to be a mother, and the specter of her rape, there are a lot of heavy issues to wade through. If that wasn't enough, Simi is trying to figure out how to relate to Zai, whom she still has feelings for, even though she desperately loves Nirvaan and does not want him to die.

The idea of a threesome comes up often throughout the novel, which caught me off-guard at first. Although Simi has wanted to, they've never had a sexual threesome but their lives are intertwined as an emotional threesome. It was interesting to see it play out in a genre other than romance, particularly because of how Nirvaan pushes Simi and Zai to get together once he dies. I wish the author would have explored Nirvaan and Zaiyaan's relationship to one another- were they just friends who liked to share women or was it something more? What about the religious implications, particularly for Zai who is a devout Muslim?

I liked that Simi was not the typical "my spouse is dying" caregiver. She admits her shortcomings and grapples with guilt. She has a hard time being strong for her husband. She doesn't want to have a child but doesn't know how to deny a dying man's request. This was one of the most interesting parts of the story and I wish it had been further developed.

I wish Nirvaan had had palliative care or hospice involved. Some of the medical aspects of his story made me cringe because they didn't need to play out that way, although I recognize how Kothari used it to develop her plot. The way that family and friends react to Nirvaan's decline was heartbreaking.

I'm glad I read this novel but I'm still not sure how I felt about it and maybe that's the point. Kothari doesn't give us any tied-up-with-a-bow conclusions about the Awesome Threesome. The ending is messy, as is life.

Simeen’s husband, Nirvaan, has a terminal brain tumour. He is keen for her to have IVF so they can have a baby but she’s not so sure. The couple, who met as teens in India, have always been part of the “Awesome Threesome” with Zayaan - and he is currently living with them in California to lend a hand and join in on some life-affirming adventures.
Amid the spectre of the impending loss of Nirvann, this is an emotional story of an intense friendship and very unconventional love triangle. A little slow paced in parts, it includes plenty of backstory to fill readers in on the trio’s complicated past, in particular what happened when they turned 18 that ultimately changed all their lives.

I am sorry. I bailed on this one. I only made it about a quarter of the way through. Just sort of blah for me. And I cannot put my finger on why. The characters did not sit well with me, or with each other for that matter.

This could have, should have been so much better. Simi is a spoiled selfish brat who cares mostly about herself. Parts of this novel were touching but there were other bits that dragged it down for me, most notably every time the concept of the 18th birthday threesome came up. Really? And, is what happened to Simi instead some sort of cosmic reckoning for what she had planned to do. Her husband Nirvaan is dying of cancer and long loved Zayaan is in town to support him. BTW, they rent a house on the beach in Carmel? Seriously? I understand why Simi might fight the idea of IVF at this time in her life but I never, oddly, felt sympathetic to her, although I did to Nirvaan. There was a lot of material here (perhaps too much) but it needed another edit. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. I'm sure others will enjoy this but it disappointed me.

A great book to start my 2018 reading year. I am not a fan of mushy love stories, and after reading this book's description - I decided to give it a chance and I am glad I did.

This is not your typical love triangle. The connection between Simi, Nirvaan, and Zayaan has begun 15 years prior, however, Nirvaan and Zayaan have been friends since they were kids. The trio has been close since the moment they have met. And after Nirvaan has been diagnosed with cancer, he made a titanic wish list that included both of his best friends and must be completed by the time he dies. Nirvaan also wants Simi to have his baby, and for Simi and Zayaan to give a second chance to the love they have lost.

The story goes back and forth between present and past, we learn that Simi went thru a big emotional trauma. First, her parents died in a car crash, second - she's been raped. The second horrific event causes a fall out between Simi and her first love - Zayaan. Speaking of Zayaan, big tragedy touched his family too. He became a "man of the house" at the young age, supporting his mother and sisters.

To be completely honest, I did not like Simi's character at the beginning of the book. It took a few chapters for me to warm up to her. However, her story touched my heart. On the other hand, Nirvaan is my favorite character from the start. He is so happy, open-hearted, and carefree. He is a glue that kept the trio together for 15 years... and thanks to his determination - will hold it together forever.

As I said before, this is not your typical love triangle. The trio loves each other very much, and it shows thru the chapters of the book. They have a very unordinary connection, that people have a very hard time to understand. An exquisite novel with an intriguing ending. Thank you, Falguni Kothari, for a wonderful book. I am looking forward to reading more of her novels.

My Last Love Story is a powerful read. When a husband receives a cancer diagnosis, he questions what legacy he will leave for his loved ones. His reluctant wife undergoes fertility treatments, and questions what type of family she can possibly raise.

This is lovely contemporary love story and despite the tragic theme I did enjoy it. It could have been so much better though.There were so many interesting themes (love, illness, conception, rape, friendship, inter cultural and family issues) but none were given a particularly deep examination. Good but could be better

I frankly did not enjoy this book. I found it to be overly melodramatic and unrealistic.

I didn't read the synopsis before I dove in and all my expectations were based on the title and the cover. Yeah, those were pretty much blown away in the first couple pages for something much better and much richer. I can't remember the last time my stomach was in knots because I was so tense to know how a romance was going to play out.

This is love in all its complicated, brutal, gorgeous, heartbreaking, breathtaking glory. There is no black and white, no right or wrong, just myriad shades of gray and the messiness of the human heart set against cultural expectations and personal tragedy.

A stunning novel and one that I'm so glad I read. I'll be fangirling over Ms. Kothari should I be lucky enough to ever attend another panel of hers.

**I will be featuring this book as part of my Curl up with a good book Sunday blog series on Jan 21. The link will be: http://tellulahdarling.com/curl-good-book-sunday-last-love-story/ I will also post to Goodreads and Booklikes at that time.

REVIEW to COME closer to release day...although I will say this:

I don't think I have ever read a book quite like this before. Boundaries were tested and bent. My feelings and comfort zone were irrelevant. What an authentic depiction of a complicated, unconventional friendship and love story. Whew! I am full and drained all at the same time!

If I had been asked to define the term "love triangle" I'd almost certainly have used words like affair, jealousy, secrecy.    Turns out I'd have been wrong.  At least in the case of the love triangle which was central to My Last Love Story by Falguni Kothari.      In this novel  Simi, Nirvaan & Zayaan befriended each other in their teens and named themselves the Awesome Threesome with the motto "Everything we do, we do together".    This wasn't quite literal but was pretty close to it.   There's nothing secret about their relationship yet there's a couple of sizeable and closely guarded secrets they refuse to share with each other.   As teens Simi and Zayaan were in love and planned a future together until the night of their shared 18th birthday where the course of all 3 lives changed through no real fault of their own.     Some years later Simi and Nirvaan marry but Zayaan continues to be their best friend.   Now, approaching  their 30th birthday Nirvaan is dying of cancer (This is not a spoiler as we know this almost from page 1).   At Nirvaan's request Zayaan has moved in with them to share in his last months of life.       In preparing for his death Nirvaan wants everything to be right for his two great loves and he seems hellbent on getting his wife and Zayaan back together.  

I enjoyed this story yet there were some aspects that didn't feel believable to me.   Whilst I liked the primary characters well enough I didn't connect deeply with them.  Sure I felt sad at times but not overly so considering some of the tough times they experienced.    Though they often joked around I wasn't moved to laughter.  I liked that these were contemporary Indian characters, based in California and leading non-traditional lives.  I'm not sure I entirely bought the way Nirvaans family encouraged Zayaan and Simi to get back together despite their beloved Nirvaan still battling his illness and still being married to Simi.   Yet there was enough there in the context of the story to make it plausible.    On balance this book provided a different look at love in its many shapes and sizes and was an entertaining romance. 

My thanks to Harlequin and NetGalley for the free digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

4 Complicated Stars!!!

I was pretty sure I knew what I was getting when I went into this book. Angst and heartbreak and a love triangle. He's dying from cancer and wants her to have a baby, and there's a best friend in the mix. I grabbed a tissue box and settled in. But wait - this story wasn't even close to what I thought it would be!

I'm not sure I'll do the complexity of the story justice, but here we go!! We are dropped into the lives of the Aweseome Threesome of Nirvaan, Simeen (husband and wife) and their best friend Zayaan. Nirvaan has terminal cancer. His last wish is for Simeen to have their baby, and he has a Titanic Bucket List he wishes to complete in his last year. Zayaan comes to lives with them to help him live his life his last year of life until the very end. The three of them have a history - friends for a very long time. We find out that it was originally Zayaan and Simeen who were in love and planning to spend their lives together, but a very tragic thing occurred, which Simeen kept to herself. She walked out of their lives, thinking it for the best, then later reconnected with Nirvaan, who she asked to marry her. Cue many years later and these three have a very complex dynamic between them. The story unfolds, and we get to learn of Simeen's secret. And it turns out that one of Nirvaan's greater wishes is for Zayaan and Simeen to be together once he is gone, so they can take care of each other.

This is NOT a story of your typical love triangle. It is a story of three people making up one great love story. Unconventional....sure. But this is the truly the definition of the sum of the parts being greater than the whole. I was truly moved, and it challenged me to think outside the norm of two people being in love and making a life. In their case, it took all three of them to make this thing they called life and love work...for them!! What they had, as strange as some people might consider it, was perfectly imperfect.

I finished this only because I wanted to know how all the loose ends got tied up. I did not like Simi and felt Nirvaan deserved better. Zai needed to leave them alone. I got this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.

An emotionally complex story, Simi Desai latches on to a friendship with Nirvaan and Zayaan after her parents die. The trio begin the friendship in Surat, India, but Simi pulls away after a traumatic experience. After marrying Nirvaan, without telling either man the truth, tensions remain as Zayaan comes to Carmel, California to help Nirvaan get through cancer treatment. Nirvaan tries to plan for Simi’s future without him, as strong emotions and families from three different backgrounds, clash. A story of love, friendship, and choices, I recommend this book.