Cover Image: This Is Not a Love Letter

This Is Not a Love Letter

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I received this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This book is written as a letter from Jessie to her on-a-break, not broken up boyfriend, Chris. Chris has gone missing and she chronicles everything that happening since she last saw him. She retraces her steps, his steps, anyone's steps who has seen Chris recently. She has no idea where he is.

This book is heavy. It has a lot of heavy topics, but topics that need to be discussed. It's very relevant to real life. Jessie's letters bounce back and forth from "this is going on" to "remember that time." She struggles with guilt and what ifs and why won't these people listen to me or try harder to find Chris.

Throughout the book I found myself completely engaged with the mystery surrounding Chris. I wanted answers and was getting anxious about whether I would get them by the time the book was finished.

I really enjoyed how real the characters were. Jessie was a strong, tough girl but also had her moments of devastation. It was nice to see both sides.

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Rating: 2.5 out of 5

I wanted to love this and there were definitely parts that I did love, but there was something that didn’t fully connect for me. I read The Female of the Species by Mandy McGinnis and in some ways this reminded me of that, but I think the execution wasn’t quite as on point here. They are particularly similar in the idea of ‘violence begets violence’ being a major theme, but something felt off to me.

Some of my issue may have been that I had a hard time connecting with Jessie. In some of the flashbacks of her relationship with Chris it felt less like he suffered from depression and it came off as more of an abusive/manipulative relationship. Jessie talks about his jealousy, particularly the last couple months and a few of their conversations have manipulative language in them. I wish I’d gotten a view of Chris from outside Jessie’s mind, but the book is told first person in ongoing journal entries to Chris detailing what has happened while he’s been gone. Chris seemed a little too perfect and I think a part of that was Jessie’s rosy tinted view of him. We see some of his flaws by the end of the book such as his depression and the struggle to ignore and hide it, but I felt like even that could have been explored even further.

I even wanted Dave Johnson as a character to be explored more fully. Dave is billed as the jealous and racist team mate of Chris and has more than enough motive and desire to get Chris out of the way of his dreams, so naturally he is a suspect in his disappearance. I felt like we got a fairly one dimensional view of Dave. We are given the “evil” side of him and yet get flashes of a better side, such as a doting uncle. It would have been more interesting to see a more layered view of him as people are rarely all evil. Now, Dave does some really awful and inexcusable things, and he devolves further into the “villain” role and I would have liked to see some guilt or torment over his role in things.

One character I liked and wish had gotten a slightly bigger role was Josh. We get glimpses of Josh, but even he and Jessie don’t talk or bond as much as I wanted them to. We never get to know Josh as a person more than left-behind-best-friend of Chris. They did form a friendship by the end, but I was looking for a little more of that.

I did find the topic of hoarding particularly interesting. It was fascinating to see how it affected Jessie from a young age to the brink of adulthood. One particularly heartbreaking passage dealt with the fear of anyone finding out and Jessie being taken away from her mother so no one could ever see their home or know what was happening. That's quite the burden to put on a child.

This one definitely gave me a lot of think about, but in the end I felt a little underwhelmed. I think I wanted a different conversation about mental illness, so this might be more of a personal preference than anything else.

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This is Not a Love Letter is a raw, compelling story. It is part mystery, part diary, part social commentary and part honest reflection on teen relationships and friendships. The book grabs readers from the beginning and keeps you engaged until the very last page. Jessie and Chris are in love but are also on a break - just for one week - as they prepare to finish high school and figure out what comes next in their lives. When Chris goes missing, the town and the local police believe he simply ran away but Jessie fears that something bad happened. The pacing of the search of Chris and its effect on Jessie, their friends and the town is very well written. The book also touches on many current social issues including mental health, family dysfunction and racism. A great read - for teens and adults.

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Written in the style of a letter to her boyfriend (not her ex, they were just on a break) this book follows the days following the disappearance of Chris

There is a hint of mystery, racial tensions, and confusion about what really happened working its way through this story, and while I found it interesting and entertaining I didn't feel like it was a new or different story. While reading I found myself thinking of similar stories I had read and nothing caught me by surprise.

This was a good read, but not essential or groundbreaking.

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Easily in my Top 3 books read in 2017.
Thank you. Thank you for writing this book. It was beautifully told, in a paper airplane style letter, from Jessie our protagonist to her boyfriend Chris.
Jessie and Chris are the only interracial couple, because Chris is the only African American male in their small town. After an argument that leaves the couple on a week long break, Chris goes missing after going on a jog. The story slowly unfolds amidst racist comments, derogatory phone calls, close knit friendships, family members with mental illness, and the unraveling of Chris' disappearance.
The way this book is written, i was instantly transported into being able to feel the way Jessie feels. It was easy to feel the desperation in her being. I was Jessie. Beautifully told. My heart will never recover.

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The writing in this book is superb--from the first pages, instead of telling you the story in some over-the-top, grab-your-attention way, the author drops you in the middle of the action. Jessie's boyfriend Chris has gone missing, and we follow her like a fly on the wall in the hours that follow: in the chaos, the finger-pointing, the immediate sense that everyone has something to hide.

The story delves deep into teen drama in a way that is very accurate: the harassment of a black boy in a predominantly white town, the girl backstabbing, the complexity of teen relationships. Jessie feels guilty in a way we can all relate too, as she looks back at her relationship with Chris and what she might've done different. The love letter angle didn't do much for me, but I could see teen readers enjoying it.

In the end, the book delves deep into mental illness in a very teen-centric way--somewhat dramatically, but I think very appropriately so considering how the story ends. I spend a lot of time with teens who deal with mental illness, and I'd highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with this type of tragedy, which is difficult to understand.

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*If you are prone to anger when discussing racism, go away now. I do not believe in victimhood, and this review has a HUGE, unappologic rant on that in the Cons section. I’m not trying to start something. I should be able to express my opinions, whether you like them or not. I needed to bring up these points since some of the content rubbed me the wrong way and I needed to explain why.

Summary

Personal Blurb
Jessi will do anything to get Chris back in this high-stake mystery with a concentration on racial tension and hidden secrets.

Characters
Jessi & Chris are madly in love, but when they go on a break to get some perspective, Chris goes missing.

Conflict
Jessi doesn’t think the police are trying hard enough to find Chris, so she must take matters into her own hands, even if it means walking into a den of lions.

Cons
• Black saint. Chris is the perfect Black guy. He doesn’t let racism bother him. He answers stupid, racist questions, he resists violence at all costs, he makes excellent grades, and he has an athletic scholarship to college. He loves his sister and his white girlfriend.
Ok, special snowflake. I can see this becoming a trend. White authors get attacked when they perpetuated the angry Black person stereotype, which leads to them writing all Black people as saints. There has got to be a balance. I understand no one wants to be called racist, but Black people have flaws too, and it’s okay to show that. When you don’t, you’re making them a special snowflake and inadvertently telling all the other Black people that they should be like this guy. It’s the same thing with disability porn.
• Woke white girl. Of course, us white people need to learn about racism through a white girl in an interracial relationship. She will show us how woke she is and feel immense guilt when she says something that could be construed as racist, when it would not be if she said it to anyone else.

Hello, can we stop with the double standard. If something is bad, it’s bad all around, and if it’s not, the people offended by it love to claim their victimhood.

EVERYONE has been oppressed, called names, treated unfairly, been left out of something because of something they cannot change about themselves. It sucks. No one is denying that. But that does not mean that everyone in a group different than your own (in any diverse category) needs to tiptoe around you and hold their breath because you’re so sensitive you’ll break if they breathe too hard. Grow up. Every individual is responsible for their own actions regardless of obstacles in front of them and judgements cast. Don’t enable victimhood by accepting guilt for things you are not responsible for. It’s fine to point out things people might not initial see as racist because they have no context. That needs to be done to some level so that we can all understand and respect one another. However, when you avoid anything and everything that could possibly offend someone, you’re left with nothing but fear and an anxiety attack waiting to happen.

People need to learn how to find their own strength and stop relying on everyone else to be strong for them. But of course, I’m white, married to a man, and mostly able, so I get no opinion. If you’re fuming with anger right now, please go listen to Francina Simone say basically the same thing. I freaking love her. She is a person of color and she resist victimhood and tells it straight.
• Jessi assumes everything bad that happens to Chris stims from racism. However, I did like the revelation we got in the end. Perhaps the author was trying to communicate to both sides: making white folks more aware of unintentional racism and POC folks that racism isn’t the reason for all of their problems? This would show that Jessi has some white guilt but that she needs to get over that because she herself isn’t racist and she isn’t responsible for an entire nations wrong doings against POCs.

It’s hard to decide since this is written in 1st person. Yet Chris’s mother has some words for Jessi I really appreciated. Also, this story was inspired by the disappearance of the author’s close friend. Maybe this drawls heavily from that experience and that’s the revelation we’re supposed to get. Other signs of this are Steph’s crappy home life and Jessi’s white trash status. AKA privilege has a lot more to do with class than color.

Potentially Offensive Content
Strong language & sexual content (straight couple has sex)

Pros
• Complex characters. At the beginning of the book, Chris was saint-like, perfect in every way. It was irking me. However, we finally got some flaws toward the end. It was a clever way to show that love is blind. We keep ourselves from noticing things we don’t want to see, and we hold those we love up on a pedestal.
• Interracial romance. Through Jessi’s thoughts, we learn how people’s view of Jessi has changed since she started dating a Black guy. Basically, they now view her in a more sexual way. We also learn a bit about racial tension through Jessi.
• Plot & Story & Romance. I was engaged the entire time. I loved the way she talked to Chris in her head and her ADD brain (more on that below) had me squealing. I loved their romance, though it was troubling toward the end. It seemed a bit abusive with Chris’s desperation. Other times the romance literally mimicked my own. There was this one part where he took her hand and warmed it up. Then she told him the other hand felt lonely, so he warmed it up. I say “the other one’s jealous” to my husband. Like if he kisses me on my left cheek, I’ll say that so he’ll kiss me on the right cheek as well. I was in the passenger seat when I read that section and laughed so hard my husband wanted to know why. When I told him they were us and why, he grinned. (My husband looks stoic 80% of the time, so a grin is like a normal person’s laugh for him.)
• Mental illness rep. How Jessi feels about living with a hoarder mirrors how hoarders feel. They fear letting anyone inside because they’d be embarrassed if others knew, but their stuff continues to pile up because the task of keeping everything organized seems endless when everyone continues to bring crap in or just doesn’t pick up after themselves. I know this from personal experience. Constant fear and isolation is no fun, neither is not being able to see the floor.

We get to see depression as well and how it can be overlooked when you desperately want everything to be fine.

Quote
“You do not have that power. You’re just a girl. That’s it. […] Who are you to say you are that important?”

Quality
Did it have adequate representation?
Jessi is from a low-income family with divorced parents. Her mom is a hoarder. Her boyfriend is Black, and his family is Jehovah Witnesses. Michael is gay. Characters in this book also deal with depression.

Did it make me think?
It made me think about how racial tension is written in books and if there’s a such thing as a perfect balance.

What was the writing style like?
ADD brain. I mean that in the best way. I have ADD. Not sure if they author does, but the book is in 1st person, and the way the character thinks is not neurotypical. Intentional or not, this definitely worked for me.

Are the characters now my all-time favorites?
No. The guy was too saint-like, and the girl assumed racism was the cause of everything bad in the world. It reeked of white shame, and I can’t stand that or people who feel that way. It was at the maximum level I could tolerate. It wasn’t as heavy as I’ve seen in people on Twitter, but it was teetering that edge. I want to learn about the Black experience, but not in a way that shames me for being born white.

Was the plot cleverly written?
Yes.

Did I enjoy reading it?
Yes.

Triggers?
Suicide

Format?
e-arc

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This is Not a Love Letter by Kim Purcell brings out many emotions, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it all yet. Not entirely anyway. I was impatient through the beginning. The story is told from inside the head of Jessie. It's a running monologue of everything she is saying, doing, and feeling. This is good and bad, as it became very tedious at times, but provided much needed info and insight.

I began to see Jessie's mental ramblings as something that could be cathartic to her as a person, all of us readers, and maybe even the writer herself. Jesse is telling Chris everything. Everything she hasn't told him up until now that she feels he should know. Apologies, confessions, explanations, stories, etc. She says it's not a love letter. Personally, I think she's in denial about that. To me, whether she's actually writing it or talking it all out in her head, a love letter of sorts is exactly what it felt like. I wondered if maybe that was the author's purpose for writing such a story, because that kind of catharsis makes complete sense, especially when you don't know if you're ever going to see the person again. It's freeing and healing.

The second half and, most importantly, the ending was very well done. I grew very attached to Jessie, and Chris, and many of the other characters. I was rooting for them. By the end, I was crying so hard, my husband got concerned. I have to say, with everything we knew and didn't know through the progression of this story, I was still expecting a different ending. "Hoping" for a different ending would be the better word, I think. When you read this, have a box of tissues handy.

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This is Not a Love Letter, is not what I would classify as a romance, but there is love in the story. It's got moments that tug at your heart strings, and others that just break your heart. Jessie and Chris's story is unique. It's one of those books that are real and original. I liked Jessie's character, but there was something about her 'voice'I couldn't connect to while reading. Still, if you enjoy YA with a mild mystery/suspence with some love thrown in, and you don't mind all the letters throughout the book, this is one I'd recommend to you.

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Let me start by saying this is a Netgalley review, I received it for free for an honest review.

3.5 Stars

This letter style book was not my favorite, it had its moments. The letters are written by Jessie to her boyfriend Chris who has gone missing after a late-night run. In this letters, we get the history and background on the relationship and friendships surrounding the couple. Jessie searches for answers as to where her boyfriend who seemed to have it all could have gone. The pressure placed on the town by Jessie has consequences and it leads to some devastating discoveries. It’s a story about race, mental illness and the hardships of being young and in love.

I didn’t love it for one reason, I would have given it 4 solid stars if it had focused on mental illness just a bit more. I personally would have likes more closure on that part, but I understand that not everyone gets that. So, in a way it is realistic. I appreciate the author focusing on the heavy issues we see today, but I just don’t think this book was for me.

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The main character is a Caucasian girl in a relationship with an African American boy, in a town of very few African Americans. The book addresses the negative attention their bi-racial relationship receives as well as the extra racial attention the African American receives. The book is written from the point of view of the girlfriend writing a letter to her missing boyfriend, explaining everything that is going on and how much she loves and misses him.

I found it hard to believe that the narrator was able to write down all the dialogue that she had or that she had the time to write all of these letters. I would have prefer to have letters within the storyline of the book instead of all of it being a letter.

Overall I was not impressed with the book. I appreciated the ending since it was not what I expected out of a young adult contemporary. I would definitely give this author another chance.

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Thanks to Hyperion and NetGalley for allowing me to read the ARC of This Is Not a Love Letter, by Kim Purcell. Seniors Jessie and Chris look forward to graduating and starting their new college lives, but when Chris disappears while jogging by the river, the whole town is abuzz. Was his disappearance a lovers’s quarrel, racial attack against Chris, one of the few Black boys in school, or a secret Chris has been keeping from everyone? You won’t put this book down once you start reading. I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

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Jessie’s boyfriend, Chris, has gone missing shortly before high school graduation, and now she is documenting everything that is happening as she waits to find out where he is. The book is written as though she is speaking directly to him, so she is always saying things like “you would have liked (this)” or “your mom (did this)” or “it reminded me of when we (did this).” As a result, it wasn’t long before I felt like I knew both of them really well because the author did such an excellent job of describing Chris’s personality and attitudes through Jessie’s eyes and her anecdotes about their relationship.

Jessie herself is somewhat crude and tough. Her dad is out of the picture and her mom is a hoarder, making Jessie ashamed of her home and frustrated with her life. She shoots from the hip and doesn’t mince words. Chris is a gentle soul who recently moved into town – a straight-A student, a gifted baseball player, and a pacifist. He’s a good influence on Jessie, giving her a sense of worth and direction that she didn’t have before he came into her life. But he’s also a black kid from Brooklyn who doesn’t really fit into this all-white paper mill town in the Pacific Northwest, and he has already dealt with bullying from some of the locals. Many possibilities exist for why he has gone missing.

The book also has several strong peripheral characters who are well drawn and add to the story – both his friends and hers. I never knew for sure what was going to happen, and I really came to care about both Chris and Jessie. Being the same age as they are, I found myself thinking I would like to know them personally, which only happens when a writer does a great job of bringing characters alive. While the plot did not wow me as much, I really enjoyed the characters and the interesting way in which the story was told.

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This book deals with young love and the loss that may come with it, tackling a tough subject in a very believable and engaging way. The story is advanced through the "not a love" letter that Jessie is writing to her missing boyfriend Chris while she is waiting for him to return. She is given support by her closest friends throughout, while dealing with negative reactions to her suggestion that Chris may have gone missing as a result of some people who would do him harm because he is a black teen in a mostly white town. Finally the police get actively involved and eventually the mystery is solved and Jessie has to learn to live with her new reality. I would recommend this book wholeheartedly to teens looking for realistic fiction involving relationships, love, and loss.

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Review to come at end of jan with cross posted link

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3.5 stars. If you read the synopsis and the title. this isn't a love letter. It is Jessie writing journal entries to her boyfriend, Chris who is missing. Although they were technically on a break when he went missing. I enjoyed the author's writing and the style in which this book was written, but felt that there were some times throughout the book that could have been explained a bit more in depth. Jessie starts writing to Chris right after she finds out he is missing and documents what is going on and what they are doing to find him. This book is sad and it deals with some sensitive topics such as mental illness, race and bullying. The ending of the book was also done really well. Overall, I enjoyed the book, especially the style in which it was written and it certainly deals with some heavy, but very important topics.

Thank you to the publisher for sending me an advanced reading copy of this book.

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It may not be a love letter per se, but it's definitely a story of love in its many forms. Heart wrenching yet humorous and real, Purcell writes a tale of teenage life that will not soon be forgotten. Timely and timeless, the subjects of love, friendship, growth and mental illness are tackled realistically and with heart.

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Laugh, cry, get angry, and then cry some more. Kim Purcell delivers a heartbreaking tale that is at times both funny and tragic. This complex teen story of relationships, love, and loss can hit a little too close to home with its realistic dialogue and unique group of characters. This title would be a good addition for your older teen readers.

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Telling the story as a letter was very engaging. I believe this style will hold readers' attention. The storyline itself is a little redundant with a lot of other current titles, but I think the writing style and letter format could keep teen readers interested.

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Teenage love is hard, no doubt.  Surely this is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, right?  And there's no possible way you can live without them, is there?

For young Jessie, it all becomes a bit overwhelming.  Sure, she loves Chris with all her heart.  And she can't imagine her life without him.  But when things start moving a bit too fast, getting a bit too permanent, she decides to slow it down a bit.  Just a break, she tells, him.  Just one week.  A chance to take a step back and breath for a minute.  

And then Chris disappears. And she wants him back.  But it's too late.  She makes all kinds of promises to herself and everyone else.  If only he'll come home, things will be different.  She didn't really want a break.  She's sorry, she misses him, things will be better than ever.  If only it were that simple.
This story is all kinds of things at once.  It's a love story, sure.  But it's also a mystery. Exactly what did happen to Chris?  It's also a great take on teenage issues.  A great read!

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