I haven't quite finished it . Found Erin's view very helpful, insightful and realistic ideas for improvement. Erin is encouraging and motivating in her writing. To be reminded that our husband is a "gift" changes the way one looks at them! A definite book for the bookshelf or library.

In a time of high divorce rates, when more people are choosing to live together without getting married and there is a marked increase in female empowerment having a book that is directed at women to tell them how to give their husband’s a better life is certainly an interesting choice. It’s written for Christians and the author is very open about her biblical beliefs so the content makes sense when you consider wives taking care of their husbands is a huge tenet in that belief system.

The author establishes her creds right away showing she’s been married over 20 years, certainly a milestone at a time of marriages (if they even exist) lasting 5 years or less – thank the Kardashians for inspiring that trend; just kidding.

She includes prayers for the wife to pray for herself, prayers for her to pray over husband, questions for you to reflect on, anecdotes from real people’s lives to illustrate her points, scripture, research, statistics, quotes from well known speakers such as John Eldredge and challenges so you get homework to help put into practice the lessons she imparts. In many ways this reminded me of The Love Dare as it had very similar elements.

If you strip away the Christian elements from the book the advice she gives, at its most basic, feels sound and logical. You can’t expect to have a healthy marriage if you aren’t healthy yourself so her chapter on that feels like a good opening. Being kind to your spouse seems like a no brainer but in today’s “ME” first world building up others, even if it’s your spouse, takes a back seat. Understanding there are differences in more than just likes and dislikes and accepting those rather than trying to conform this person into a clone of you shouldn’t feel shocking yet many need this reminder.

I will have to say I was impressed with the fact that she talked about sex, orgasms, talking about what feels good with your spouse, etc because so often that feels like the “hush don’t talk about it” part Christians want to avoid. I’ve even heard pastors talk about how ‘allegedly’ they kneel down and pray with their spouses before sex because you are supposed to invite God into the act as it’s something holy. I guess I’m the weird one who doesn’t want to think making it sound like I’m about to have a threesome with God is a good thing or be reminded “he’s watching”; not to mention the idea of kneeling and praying beforehand is a sure fire way to kill the spontaneity. It just feels like the way she broached the subject and the type of details she went into actually are realistic and the advice she gave easily doable.

I’m an Irish-Catholic who is married to an agnostic and I have friends that stretch across the spectrum from Catholic to Protestant to Agnostic to Atheist. When reading stuff like this I always ask myself which audience is not only going to benefit from it but also not get their back up about it. It’s definitely written for a Protestant audience but there’s not enough differences that Catholics should feel iced out although I would recommend looking up the people she mentions just so you have an idea of who they are such as Lisa Bevere; that would give you a better understanding as to their importance and context of influence. For your non-Christian friend it just depends on where they are. I have some that don’t mind reading self-help books like this because they can sort out what will help from what they have no interest in. If there is someone you think can benefit from a marriage pick me up but they would be antagonistic towards a book woven with prayers, scripture and talks of God then I’d suggest taking notes and just editing out those parts then pass the info on because there are valuable insights.

As a man reading this book I was really encouraged by the insights of the author. The things that husbands need are spot on and if applied would make a man feel like a king. I found it helpful in understanding what my wife faces in supporting me and encouraging me as a husband. I also feel I have learnt more on how to meet my wife's needs and for us to work together for our mutual good.
I was really challenged on how to answer the question on what gives me rest and what gives me life.
I thoroughly loved the book and it has made me look at myself more closely and understand things about myself that have always evaded me. Would recommend this book strongly.

Ten Things Every Husband Needs from His Wife by Erin Smalley is an excellent book. The layout was perfect. She would share the prayer for the wife, prayer for the wife to pray over her husband and a challenge for the wife. Some chapters would have questions for reflection. I read this copy digitally but I am confident that I'm going to go out and buy a paper copy so that I can save the prayers and make notations in the book.

I didn't realize the author was married to Greg Smalley until I was over halfway through the book.

I share my thoughts on some of her ‘things’ husbands need.
1. A Healthy Wife - She starts by sharing that to be a good wife we have to take care of ourselves. Our husband wants us to be happy and healthy and if we are not taking care of ourselves, we can't take care of others.
2. Your Affirmation - Wives assume their husbands are getting the same kind of affirmation from their guy friends that we get from our girlfriends and she said this is not true. The primary source of validation for husbands is their wives. When we fill that void it's amazing the positive influence we can have on our husbands in on our marriage.
The affirmation chapter was very good for me. It talked about how a man’s search for validation is one of the deepest searches in his life. She talked about how affirmation is different than gratitude. Affirmation has two components. It is stating a fact or truth strongly and publicly and the second part is offering emotional support and encouragement. We can do this by calling out his gifts, talents and character qualities that he may not realize about himself. She does a great job of challenging us to take specific action. In this chapter we were to write down three things that we appreciate about our husbands.
3. Value His Differences - I found it funny when she said he is not lying when he answers that he is not thinking about anything. She found scientific proof that it is true. It is how they are able to compartmentalize. How many times have we asked them what they are thinking and they say nothing.
4. Respect for his Leadership Role - She great gave some great examples of how to love and encourage our husbands in the role of leadership. Speaking well of our husband. Don't talk to them in a harsh or critical manner. Give him an opportunity to be physically strong. Take interest in what he's passionate about and a huge one is remember that he does not multitask; he focuses on one thing at a time.
5. Your influence - She shared some very good examples of women in the Bible with both a positive influence and a negative influence on their husbands in the Bible. Then she shared some women in history that had significant influence on their husbands.

I truly believe that there is a spiritual warfare going on to destroy marriages. So I wholeheartedly agree with her when she tells us that we need to fight for marriages and be intentional with what we do. She also mentioned surrounding ourselves with wise women. I am a strong believer in that the people we associate with have a huge impact on our life and our decisions and what we feel is normal and acceptable.

I highly highly recommend this book if you think you have a great marriage, even in your marriage is not in trouble or if your marriage is on the brink of divorce. The book is set up in an excellent format she gives great examples and information. This is truly an actionable book that I feel confident we will all see changes if we will implement some of her suggestions.

This was a nice book for a perspective to bettering your marriage using faith. It didn't really stand out to me and got a little "preachy" at times to me. Nothing I found in this book that can't be found in other non-faith based marriage books.

I was given an eARC by the publisher through NetGalley.

This book is excellent for marriage couples and those seeking to be married. This is the ultimate woman's guide of how to help your marriage excel and provide the love and support your husband needs. This book has practical and sound advice of how to connect with your husband.

Supporting and uplifting suggestions, many that I need to remember and do more often! Encourages the art of positivity to create a loving environment in your marriage.

This book was written by Erin Smalley who works as the Marriage Spokesperson with Focus on the Family. I had never read anything by her previously and so I did not know what to expect when it came to this book, but both the title and description drew me in.

I have not been married very long and have only read about half a dozen Christian Marriage books which is not many considering the vast number that are out there today. Each book that I have read takes a different approach. Some focus on the theology of marriage and some focus more on the practice side of marriage. Some talk about the ways that men and women are different and others focus on tips to make your marriage better. I feel that this book is a great mixture of all of these aspects. While it is not theologically deep, Smalley does use Scripture to back up each of her points. She also provides a great mix of examples, statistics and practical tips to help you accomplish the task or point she is making.

There were several different things I enjoyed about this book. I appreciated the structure of each chapter. She would make her point providing real life examples, thoughts and statistics and then draw the reader into thinking practically towards the end of each chapter. Every chapter ended with reflection questions and a sample prayer for both the wife to pray for herself and then a prayer to pray over her husband.

One of the minor things that bothered me, which may not bother anyone else is that she used so many different translations of Scripture throughout the text. For me it would be easier to follow up and read a passage if it was only in one translation. I also don't feel that this is a scenario where multiple translations are necessarily beneficial.

Overall, I would recommend this book. It is a book that I learned from and would consider doing with a group of girls or friend as a book study.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher and NetGalley in exchange for my review.

A wonderful and understanding companion of a book for Christians.
Anyone who is married would learn and relate to a thing or two in reading this book. The author's tone is friendly and light and she shares her personal experiences and struggles and also adds some other couples experiences to bring out a point. I found the questions for reflection and weekly challenges very interesting and who knows maybe this would come in handy for my married friends.
I found her take on leadership at home interesting because she interpreted submission in a different light than most Christians and what stood out was that you've got to work on your relationship daily. I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review and it's been a great reading and reflecting experience.

Full disclaimer, I know and love Erin. I worked under her husband's leadership and on a team with her at Focus and she lives in my parent's neighborhood. I count it a blessing to know her and her family. Erin and Greg are two deeply influential people in my pursuit of a counseling career.

I enjoyed this book and the tangible and practical ways we can deepen and strengthen our marriage relationships by reframing how we view simple every day moments with our husband. She offers ten easy areas to consider and evaluate in our own lives, offers guided reflection alongside short anecdotes and then offers a prayer to pray for yourself and one to pray over your husband in each of the ten areas. I would recommend this book to all women in a marriage or who are preparing for marriage because of the way this advice will help you refocus on the priorities in our communication and values in our marriage. I highly recommend checking this one out!

While a lot of this was the same things I've read in other books, just worded differently and in a different order, it was still a good read. It's engaging and easy to relate to...updated and modernized...and it never hurts to 'study up' on being a good partner. It's a good reminder for keeping us on track.