Cover Image: The Disconnected Man

The Disconnected Man

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date:

Member Reviews

Maybe I'm too disconnected to connect to Jim Turner's The Disconnected Man. With an admirable amount of vulnerability and openness, Turner writes to men and women about men's tendency to be disconnected and offers hope for men and marriages. Turner was a pastor and businessman who thought he was doing everything he needed to as a husband, pastor, father, and Christian. When his wife left him suddenly, he realized all was not well. He was disconnected.


"A disconnected man," Turner writes, "is one who is unaware that his is nonrelational, distant, and emotionally unavailable." Much of Turner's descriptions of the disconnected man fits negative stereotypes of men: doesn't show his feelings, not expressive about his love for his family, hard to connect in friendship. He bounces back and forth between directing his message to men and to women, as his greatest focus is helping men connect and preserving marriages.


Turner makes a mistake that I have seen in many, if not most, books about marriage. He assumes the stereotypes about men and women are fixed and universal. I personally found roles reversed in this book compared to my marriage. Maybe my wife is a disconnected wife. I don't know. But there was enough that I felt was presumptuous to make me feel disconnected from Turner's message.


Ultimately, while The Disconnected Man didn't really speak to me, I can see how some men will relate to Turner's experiences and perspective. No matter how connected men feel, it never hurts to read about other men's experiences to seek ways we can better connect to others.



Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

Was this review helpful?

Reading this book reminded me of the way a friend once described his dad. He said "our dad provided for us, we never lacked anything, but you know what's odd is that in all our lives, we never talked to him, like really sat down and talked."
I wanted to read this book because it piqued my interest. I wanted to know who a disconnected man was, how to reach out to such a person and better yet what prompted the author to write this book. It's got great insights on life and the power of relationships, but more so the work that goes into sustaining those relationships and this is where the disconnected man faces his greatest challenge.
I sought out this book on NetGalley and thanks to the Publishers and the site, I had an opportunity to move beyond my hurt and anger and to seek out how to connect with my friend.

Was this review helpful?