I found this book to be very heavy going with lots of in-depth discussions and not what o was expecting. Disappointed as I had heard good things about it.

What a unique and thought provoking novel Amy Wright Glenn has written. This novel makes you think about dying and grieving, and what skills are needed to help yourself and others through these difficult life events. This are topics are dealt with in a kind and generous manner. There are many people who do not have any idea what to do when confronted with a dying friend or relative. This book should be a welcome handbook to assist you through these life events. From explaining death to a child to holding the hand of a mom and dad who is dying all is discussed in this remarkable novel. This is a must read.

This is an excellent book on end of life, that should be read by everyone in nursing and palliative care

This gold-filled book was so comforting to me after the passing of a relative, that I can't put it in my own words. The author's story was extremely touching, real and I could feel her pain and sorrow through every single word. The circle of life is painfully excruciating at times; moreso when you start realizing your own mortality. I don't think that I could have had the strength to pen such a comforting book.

I had very personal reasons to read this book. Last year as I was trying to process my own grief from my own experiences and the terminal diagnosis my father received, I met with a chaplain on our campus who used the term "holding space." I was nervous about talking to someone, but knew I needed to, and it something I was glad I did. I've read many books about grief, even spent an entire podcast episode discussing books on grief and how reading can help you through a tough time. The people who were there for me had a powerful impact, and the space they held for me allowed me to hold space for others in the days leading up to and after my father's death. Yes, I too was grieving, but there was also this space. So when I saw this book come across the NetGalley listings, I knew I wanted to know more.

Amy Wright Glenn is a former Mormon who went on to study comparative religion, and works as a doula and hospital chaplain. She writes about the importance of holding space in various moments of grief, and not only at the end of life - loss of pregnancies, stillbirth, when a family member is injured, cancer diagnoses, and so on. She discusses the importance of her own meditation practice in developing the grounding and strength that allows her to hold this space for others.

What I wasn't expecting, but enjoyed, was a parallel discussion of her Mormon upbringing, how the LDS teachings form her background if not her beliefs, and how those ideas intersect with many other religions. I don't often get to read former Mormon narratives that aren't completely villainizing what they've left behind, and it was interesting to learn about.

I have some interest in this idea of the grief doula. I know people who volunteer for hospice and other things outside of their "real" jobs. This is a book I would want to return to, at the very least to check out her recommended reading.

Thought invoking memoir from a birth and death doula. Currently grieving, I found comfort In her words

*I received this book from NetGally in exchange for an honest review.

Glenn does an excellent job explaining a topic that is often taboo in our world today. Her insights on death and dying and how to help someone cope with that are invaluable.  I personally enjoyed how she wove her LDS background into the book as a way to show us that everything we encounter is a part of who we are today. I would recommend this book to anyone who has the potential of helping someone walk through their grief (which is everyone). After all, "for death is not a disease. It is the twin companion of life." (Glenn, page ~207)

This is a beautifully written, moving book in which Amy Wright Glenn gently introduces us to her experiences as a birth doula, end of life doula and hospital chaplain. Her observations on attitudes to traumatic or difficult situations, particularly when coming to terms with the loss of loved ones has made me consider problems I currently face from a different perspective. I began to get a little irritated by the constant refrain of 'holding space', but toward the end of the book I gradually realised its significance. I hope I will remember her quiet words of wisdom to be brave, listen and breathe when I need them most.

Having requested and received this book from Netgalley I had no real idea of what to expect or indeed what my expectations were. Amy Wright Glenn utilises her experiences as a birth doula and a hospital chaplain to lay out some extremely good advice which is often thought provoking in the extreme. I found some of the examples she uses to illustrate a point very emotional but also necessary.
There is a lot for birth doulas, which I do not believe we have in the UK, to take on board but the area I found most useful was suggestions and advice for how we can best hold space, or walk an empathic path with another who is grieving without actually trying to 'cure'them as of course grief is a natural and necessary emotion following a loss of any kind.. This is a very spiritual and also practical look at end of life care and how it has become institutionalised, which perhaps has led to a greater fear of death than was once the norm. I am glad to have found this book and I am sure I will return to it as and when I feel it is necessary.

And to hold space well requires a willingness to accept and integrate our own anger, regret, and sorrow. It obliges us to honestly apologize when our actions cause harm, and and to fearlessly own the darkest corners of our life's stories. In doing so, we gain the capacity to be present for others as the journey."

Wow, I just want to say Wow. The Author of this book is such an eloquent writer. I could quote her throughout my entire review. I love her thoughts on death and dying as many of her reflections and thoughts are similar to my own. She has a way with words and a way with people. She holds the hands of the living as their loved ones pass away.

The book begins with the Author telling the reader about her religious upbringing and how she arrived at her current religious/spiritual belief system. I enjoyed this part as I did when she shared how she must often put aside her own personal issues, beliefs, etc. in order to be present, to be mindful and to be compassionate to those who need her.

This is a memoir but also an instructional manual for those in assisting those during the dying process. I think this book would be perfect for those who work in hospitals, hospices, nursing homes, are social workers, member of clergy, and even families who are dealing with a terminal loved one or a sudden loss of a loved one's life.

"We stand together in the presence of fear and death. We stand together in tears."

As a hospital Chaplain, Amy Wright Green has been present with those suffering from loss. Her life is not entirely about loss. She is also a birth Doula. She witnesses birth, death and everything in between.Her book is her mindful approach, of having a compassionate presence and to accept death as part of life. Because that is exactly what it is. We are all going to die. That is a fact. Many like to walk around and ignore that fact. But we are all going to die, we will witness those we love pass away, loss will affect all us (if it hasn't already). We need to discuss death. We should all discuss how death affects us and what we would like done upon our own death. It's important and it helps those left behind.

I had to take a class on death and dying for my degree. It was a requirement. It was one of my favorite classes. Sound morbid? It was not. I found it to be a beautiful, insightful and deeply moving course. I learned how various cultures view death, their religious practices in regards to death and funerals, how to counsel someone who is dying as well as those who are losing or have lost a loved one. For my paper, I interviewed my Grandfather who was dying of Cancer. It was a deeply profound experience. My paper was read at his funeral and every member of my family requested a copy. I learned things about my grandfather, his thoughts on Cancer, his own experiences with death as a child, as a soldier during WWII and as an adult. We discussed his beliefs on death and what his expectations were. I feel blessed to have had that time with him.

I sat with my Grandmother while she was dying as did my entire family. When she was able we talked. Again, a blessing to be able to say goodbye. My son was also able to be there to say goodbye to her. I viewed this as an important part of his life. He was also able to say goodbye to his other great grandmother as well. Again, it was important for him to be there. I want him to know that death is part of life. That saying goodbye can be a beautiful yet sad time.

"Children have the right to mourn, bury dead fish and lizards, attend the funerals of those they love, and have their questions about death and dying answered in honest and age appropriate ways,"

I thought this book was quite beautiful. I love her insights, her experiences and her mindful approach to death and dying. We need to be present. We need to embrace the process. Death, like birth, affects us all. We cannot hide under a rock and hope it passes over us. We must acknowledge it with grace, dignity and compassion.

"Grief isn't something to manage efficiently. It's not an illness."

In short, this is a memoir but it is also a beautiful look at how she assisted those during the death and dying process. She shows us how to take what is offered in this book, how to use it, how to hold space. This book is beautifully written and there were so many parts that I highlighted. Her writing and message are illuminating. I found her approach to be very comforting and calming. I appreciated how she talked with her child when their pet fish died. This book is extremely thought provoking, personal and insightful.

I received a copy of this book from Parallax press and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

4.5 stars

I found this book interesting and prompted me to think about the way I deal with people in difficult times. However, it was quite repetitive and I feel that it needs some solid editing.

Holding Space reads like the author’s flowing meditation. There are areas of pain, unflinching and raw, and there are areas of healing, supported by philosophers, doctors, and hard-earned experience.

I began this book with the impression (from early reviewers) that it was a firm instruction manual, a self-help book prescribed for those looking to improve their emotional fortitude.

Be aware, this is very much a memoir. Instructional, but still a memoir.

The author is highly self-centered – out of necessity. The way she shares her story requires an honesty that cannot exist alongside objectivity.

In her professional capacity, as doula and hospital chaplain, she is present while setting aside her personal wounds, biases, and shadows. In her role as author and instructor, she shares both sides, providing an example for readers who hope to benefit from the book. She can be herself while holding sacred space for all parts of herself and of those she encounters.

She’s a powerful example, and unapologetically flawed. That’s part of being human. Accepting our own flaws and integrating them is one of the lessons she shares.

Feelings about death and how people handle powerful, stressful emotions are tied tightly with religious/spiritual belief systems. The first few chapters deal almost exclusively with the author’s upbringing with the LDS church, her departure from her family’s faith, and her journey toward her current spiritual practice.

This nearly turned me off the book, as it wasn’t at all what I’d expected when I picked it up, but I’m very glad I continued through.

Recommended Audience:

I feel like I, my family, and those in a situation similar to mine with my dad (who has stage 4 cancer), are an excellent audience for this book.

Traumatic, fierce, and frightening spaces in life often come without warning. They come to our friends and family just as fast as they can come to us. This book can help readers cultivate active compassion. If you’ve ever wondered what to say when loss strikes, when pain is coming whether you’re ready or not, when an inexplicable tragedy strikes – this book can help if you let it.

http://www.arbeckert.com/20170907/holding-space-on-loving-dying-and-letting-go-by-amy-wright-glenn