I was given an electronic copy of this book via NetGalley.

A man wakes up in a hotel room with no memory of how he got there, and soon discovers that his memory loss goes back 9 months. An intriguing premise to start with, but as I read further, the improbabilities began to pile up. How were Toren's memories suppressed? How were the people pulling the strings in the background able to insert themselves into his quest for the truth of what happened to him at the most opportune times?

Others' mileage may vary, but for me, this book couldn't seem to make up its mind whether it was reality- or fantasy-based. The realities were in places just too unbelievable for the reality realm, but the fantastical elements didn't go quite far enough to tip the story over into the fantasy realm.

The portions of the story that did work involved Toren's quest to reconnect and rebuild his relationships with his loved ones. Rebuilding trust when there is a substantial history of broken promises carries no guarantees of success, and the author didn't give the character any shortcuts.

Overall, I had mixed feelings about the book, and I was not quite sure what to make of it.

4.5 stars

Toren Daniels was a football who was able to channel his anger onto the football field, until his career came to an end. Then, that anger began to impact his wife and children. Toren notices a change in himself after waking up in a strange hotel room after being absent for eight months, which left people assuming him dead. The anger he once had seems to have disappeared. Is it possible that he is a changed man? Is the rage gone forever, or will it reappear at the most inconvenient times?

Rubart’s latest quickly drew me in, and it didn’t let go until the last page. It was one of the most intriguing books I’ve read in some time. The story line and characters and complex, focusing on how there are two sides to everyone, and it’s a battle as to whether which side will win out. Toren has numerous qualities that could make him unlikeable to some readers yet relatable to others. The issues dealt with are quite realistic, and there are spiritual truths woven throughout. This is a story to be savored and discussed to understand the full meaning.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy from NetGalley, but I wasn’t required to leave a positive review.

Torren Daniels goes missing for 9 months. He has no memory of where he was for that time in his life. He has always dealt with anger issues and feels he has changed. His wife does not believe he has changed. He Has promised to change so too many times and it never did take. She has taken too much of his verbal abuse. We quickly learn how he got the way he is. It steams from childhood abuse from his alcoholic abusive father who did not but belittle him.


This book kept me engrossed. I kept wondering if he could overcome the demons from his childhood. I kept reading to find out if he would win back the love of his wife. He slowly won the trust of his kids but his wife was another matter. He still had major changes he needed to do in his life.


This book is not fluffy. It deals with real life issues that many families face.


I highly recommend this book. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read a copy of this book. This book is due to be released on February 20, 2018.

What an interesting concept - how to change a man’s temperament so that he no longer has severe anger issues so that he can be calm about things that used to trigger his anger. I wish that this could happen in real life, there would be a lot less violence!
Toren was a football player who developed rage against his father for abusing him as a child which he was able to channel into a football career. But his rage affected his wife, Sloane, and his children, Callie and Colton.
Toren wakes up in an unfamiliar hotel, thinking that he is still at home with his wife and children. He soon learns that he has been absent from the world for 8 months, and everyone, including his family, thinks that he is dead because he left a suicide note!
Toren finds out that he does not get angry about things that used to make him very angry, and he does not know how this has happened. His wife and children are shocked that he is alive, and he tries to reassure them that he has really changed.
But... the rage begins to slowly reappear, and Torens wife has found another person to love.
Will Toren get his life back, or is he destined to repeat what led him away from his family and career? You will have to read the book to find out what happens to him and the journey he had to take to find himself.