Thanks to Netgalley for my copy.

Three and a half stars.

Irini is estranged from her parents and older sister.She was given away to her aunt and uncle when she was 31/2years old and has no idea why or the circumstances behind it.

She is working in London as an anaesthetist when her sister calls her from Scotland to inform her that her mother is dead. Elle the older sister insists she needs Irini"s support even though they have had no contact for six years.

Irini returns to her birthplace and soon becomes embroiled in family drama and past secrets.

None of the main characters are likeable. Irini believes she is unlovable and tolerates her Italian boyfriend Antonio living with her and even allowing him free use of her bank account.Elle is narcissistic and mentally unstable. She is cruel and manipulative but is she dangerous?

This is a solid debut novel but is a rather strange slow burner. The final 25% is better paced but my quibble is why Irini didn't return to find the housekeeper for some more background and answers.

The other thing that bothered me is if there was a fire in a medical facility why are there still records of patients files there years after?

Special thanks to St. Martins Griffin Publishing and netgalley.com for allowing me to read this complex and intriguing book about families and the secrets they keep. The atmosphere of this novel kept me intrigued, the cast of characters, complex. The whole book I wondered, “What did the sister do?” Kept me guessing even though the author teased us with hints throughout. I also really enjoyed the way the author weaves the past and present into the story to get a more in-depth look of how things progressed to the penultimate chapter. Bravo!

IF YOU KNEW MY SISTER —British author, Michelle Adams’ riveting dark and spellbinding psychological debut thriller of two broken sisters.

As dark and sinister as The Sinner, by Petra Hammesfahr (TV-mini-series-which I loved) and Gone Girl, by Gillian Flynn. Multi-layered, Complex, Spine-tingling, and Twisty, with an explosive conclusion you do not see coming.

Narrated by Dr. Irini Harringford, (an anaesthetist at Queen’s College Hospital); the unwanted little girl now a woman living in London —haunted by the scars, unknowns, and mysteries of her past. The missing gaps.

Daughter of Maurice and Cassandra and sister, Elle in Scotland. Only for three years. Then she was sent away. She was the good daughter (age three). Why did they keep the bad daughter Elle (age seven) and send her away?

The years of studying to become a doctor to wear a mask so people would not see the real her. Maybe she does not recall. A life where she had parents. A past with somebody other than Elle.

“Sometimes I think I can remember my mother’s face: like mine, only older, redder, wrinkles like a spider’s web weaving around her lips. Other times I’m not so sure. But I’m sure that she didn’t offer any last-minute advice to be a good girl, no quick kiss on the cheek to tide me over. I would have remembered that, wouldn’t I? She slammed the car door, stepped back, and my aunt and uncle drove me away from her like it was the most normal thing in the world. And even then, I knew something was over. I have been given away, cast out, dumped.”


Elle is her sister. Her only sister from a previous life from which she has kept a few memories. Some are blurry, some are hauntingly real. She is the last remaining connection to a past she has tried desperately to forget. Elle is her destiny.

She is utterly inescapable. She is back to ruin things. Torment her, and create havoc in every part of her life. She even killed their family dog, Toto, plus so much more . . . (way more than Irini knows)

Irini is living with a man Antonio whom she will not marry. She had no role models. She really would like a family, but it feels too dangerous. She only needs someone to care for her for the last twenty-nine years.

When Irini was only three-years-old her parents sent her away. They kept one daughter, Ella, and sent her away. She has never discovered why.

Presently, her sister Ella has found her once again. After six years of absence, she has managed to worm her way back into her life. Ella is a dark monster. One she runs from. One she is indebted to.

A message, that their mum (Cassandra) has died. Of course, a mother is nothing more to her than an idea. A dream. A childish hope. However, she is curious. Ella needs her. Once again after six years, of keeping her distance, she weakens her. She makes her feel guilty. She owes her. Ella constantly reminds her.

She agrees to return home. Possibly she will use this as an opportunity to find answers to her past. Maybe she will find the truth from her father. The why? Why did she have to leave her home and family to go and live with a woman who did not want her?

The missing part of this puzzle. Why did her aunt continue to move them each time Elle found them. How can she pass up the chance to know why they gave her away and kept Elle?

Elle is everything superficially, Irini is not. Irini has a limp due to her dysplastic hip. She is a cripple. She has deep scars. She is chubby. Elle is beautiful, thin, fit, enigmatic captivating, and has confidence.

Elle is the one person who never tired of finding her. This knowledge was for Irini, an addiction. The fact no matter how far she runs, Elle will find her. The only thing worse than her absence was her presence. A risky game of cat and mouse.

But it is too late to ask for answers because all that remains is her mom's grave, the secrets of the past buried with her and out of reach. The little butterfly returning to the nest. The grand Victorian house with all its wealth. One she was not a part of. One giant black hole waiting to suck her in.

With all their wealth, she had to settle for hand-me-downs. Discarded things for a discarded child.

The return was not as she expected. She does not belong here. Ella is still manipulative and evil. She was the one they kept. Even after they sent her away, Ella would seek her out and deliver her from the bullies. The late-night trips she would leave Aunt Jemina’s house to meet her sister. She was hoping her father would explain.

Now, she still has no answers. Irini wants to leave. She feels trapped. Ella drugs her in order to get her to stay. Two broken girls. Mental illness. Dysfunctional families. However, there is much more to the story than Irini can imagine. What is everyone covering up?

Before she can speak to her father. He suddenly dies but not before he redoes his will. Leaving everything to the daughter he gave up.

Is Elle setting her up for a fall? Now the police are questioning her about the death of her father. How is Antonio mixed up in all of this? What do the strange numbers mean on the will? Then she meets a friend of Elle. Matt. Everyone knows Elle is a sociopath. Reckless. Manipulative. A killer.

Are we our parents? "We are what they make us either by their presence or through their absence."

Were they really trying to protect her by sending her away? A cover-up? What do suicides in the 1990s at Fair Fields along the Scottish Border have to do with her sister?

Is Elle a scared girl running from her past. Is she a murderer? Who will stop her? Killed to save her sister and to save herself. Will Irini keep her secrets?

I was glued to the pages of this page-turner! Love stories of hidden secrets of families. Elle will give you the spine-tingling chills! (Was dying to find out the mystery. It is a big one and one you do not anticipate.) Unpredictable.

I am shocked there has not been more "hype" surrounding IF YOU KNEW MY SISTER (prime for the big screen). As I was reading, was strongly reminded of The Sinner, in many ways with the toxic relationship and deep scars of two sisters. The forgotten past. The missing links. The dysfunction, violence, abandonment, and the tug and pull between the two sisters. The dark secrets, drugs, manipulation, evil, and the love/hate relationship. Was one sacrificed for the other?

Family. The butterfly effect. (many relations to butterflies). Hidden meanings. . . Madame Butterfly.

The ending left unanswered questions, so wondering if we may get a sequel, or meant to leave us pondering. Would love to learn more about these haunting characters and secrets of Fair Fields and Elle's POV. An ideal choice for books clubs and further discussions.

Well-written, dark, disturbing, twisty, and unsettling. Looking forward to reading more from the talented author. Fans of Lisa Unger, Ruth Ware, Jennifer Jaynes, and Jennifer Hillier will enjoy Adams' debut IF YOU KNEW MY SISTER.

A special thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for an early reading copy. I also purchased the audiobook narrated by Emily Pennant-Rea for an engaging listening experience.

JDCMustReadBooks

If You Knew My Sister
Michele Adams

MY RATING ⭐️⭐️⭐️▫️▫️
PUBLISHER Saint Martin’s Press
PUBLISHED October 3, 2017

A chilling and twisted story of a woman’s attempt to escape her sister’s destructive nature and to uncover the family secrets of why she was abandoned as a child.

SUMMARY
Irini was given away by her parents at the age of there. She spent her whole life trying to convince herself she doesn't need them. Deep down she longs to understand why she was abandoned, while her parents kept her older sister Elle. When Irini’s mother passes away she reluctantly returns to the family home in Scotland to hopefully gain some understanding and closure. She is soon sucked into her family’s dark web of secrets and realizes the past is more complicated and dangerous than she ever dreamed.

REVIEW
IF YOU KNEW MY SISTER is a dark and disturbing tale of the effects mental instability can have on an entire family. This dysfunctional family went to great lengths to protects it’s name and bury it’s secrets. MICHELLE ADAMS’s writing and character development is good, but I had a little difficulty accepting some of the premises in the book. How could a parent ever totally give up one child in favor of another with no explanation or contact, or how could a sister like Irini, ever go along with Elle’s destructive tendencies without a word to anyone? The book was suspenseful and good but also left several unanswered questions in the end.

Thanks to Netgalley, St Martin’s Press and Michelle Adams for an advance reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Irini's sister is bad news. She was separated from her to spare her when she was younger, but now that shes an adult her fear is growing stronger.

Genre/ Total Pages: Thriller/Suspense, 384 pages

Price: $10.87 on Amazon (Releasing October 3, 2017)

Rating: 2.5/5

*I received this book from NetGally in exchange for an honest review.

I enjoyed reading this book, however it was a little hard to follow. Adams crafts an amazing storyline that is mysterious and extremely hard to figure out, the only problem with that is that it's still hard to figure out even after the book is finished. The last quarter of the book or so really left a sour taste in my mouth and that's why I'm only giving the book 2.5 stars. The story was good, the writing was good, it kept my interest, but the ending just muddied things up instead of answering any questions. I would only recommend this book to someone that has a specific taste in books- similar to Gone Girl but a little rougher ending. Overall though, it was a good first book by Adams and I look forward to reading her next!

Mindblowing, queer and mystifying book. I enjoyed reading it. It was very hard to put it down. Every chapter lured me more and more into the story.

The plot revolts around Harringford family's big and dark secret. The story starts with the death of Cassandra Harrington, that reunites her family for the last time.

Elle, first born, is a simple rich brat. She gets everything she wants when she wants it and she does not care about consequences. A few times during the book I got a feeling that Elle's character was a spoiled child, who got stuck in an adult's body. She has no sense of responsibilities. Life seems to be a simple game to her, and people in it - her marionettes.

Irini, youngest of Harringtons, has been given away by her parents at the age of 3. She always wonders why was she the one "not wanted" and why the family kept her and Elle separated. Although, since her early college years, Irini is the one who runs and hides from Elle. However, deep inside she wants Elle will find her. This makes Irini feel "wanted".

A phone call in a middle of the night announces that a) Elle finally located Irini, b) their mother has passed away. Manipulated by Elle, Irini is on her way back to Scotland. However, why would she want to attend a funeral of a woman that gave her away? Irini takes this opportunity to find answers to her questions. However, is she ready to handle Harringford family's big, dark secret?

What truly is the story behind Irini's parents giving her up to be raised by her aunt at the age of three? Why did they choose to keep her sister Elle? Why is she constantly drawn to this sister which often leads to trouble? And why oh why did she choose to 'go home' when her mother died? Does she really want to know? Adams writes a masterful psychological suspense story, keeping you on your toes as you along with Irini analyze her situation going from the past to the present right to the surprising conclusion.

If You Knew My Sister by Michelle Adams is a twisty psychological thriller. This is Michelle Adam's first book.


If You Knew My Sister is set primarily in Scotland but also in London. Dr. Irini Harrington's sister calls to let her know that her mother has died and begs her to come to Scotland. Irini goes to Scotland and we start to see this incredibly dysfunctional family that Irini has born into. I was stunned at how badly this family behaved toward one another but the story was compelling and I had to find out what happened next.


If You Knew My Sister is beautifully written and carefully plotted. I never knew what was going to happen next. I don't want to give anything away but if you enjoy a twisty tale then this is for you!

Highly recommend If You Knew My Sister.

IF YOU KNEW MY SISTER by Michelle Adams is a really twisted tale about sibling rivalry, like no other book that I have read before. Dr. Irini Harringford is returning home to Scotland because her mother has died, but she dreads seeing her sister Elle. What is their mysterious relationship all about? That is the main premise of the story, to involve the reader in the intrigue between Irini and Elle. Elle has lived with her parents all these years while Irini was sent away to live with her Aunt, an unwanted extra child at the table, and seemingly no explanation for why her parents no longer wanted her. She thought perhaps it was because of her hip deformity that caused her to be different and not perfect in appearance like Elle. But when Irini returns home for the funeral, she is determined to confront Elle and find out why she was sent away. Instead, Irini is confronted with more death and more mystery than she expected, and in finding out the reasons, she also discovers family secrets that were buried long ago and never meant to be unearthed. This book was an very good read that was hard to get into at first because I just didn't know where the story was going. But after the first 50 pages, bam! Everything was happening so quickly that it was hard to keep up with the Harringford family and the victims they left behind.

An absorbing read but bordering on the gothic melodramatic. That said, I read the whole thing and very much enjoyed.

4.5 stars
So there is insane and then there is Elle. I'm not sure how in the world Michelle Adams thought of all the twisted things Elle did. This is a story of relationships - with parents, significant others and especially siblings. Each feels valid and believable in this book. I took off .5 stars because the beginning felt a wee bit (only a wee bit) slow and the end seemed rushed in the need to pull it all together. But Adams does brilliantly in weaving everything together. I will definitely be on the lookout for more books from her.

This book hooked my with how bad her sister could be and how the main character had been emotionally manipulated by her for her entire life. It was abuse even though outsiders didn't see it like that. However, I didn't like how the ending made it seem that you should always be there for your family. Even if they are murderers.

If you Knew My Sister is a story dealing with two sisters who were separated as very young children and Irini, who was sent to live with her aunt has never been able to move on in her life because she can not understand why she was the one who had to be shipped away from her family when her sister Elle is the crazy one.
Over the years Elle will show up in Irini's life and cause havac then disappear again for a few months or a year only to show up and do it again. This leaves Irini very confused about her relationship with Elle because she wants nothing more then to have a relationship with her sister but she also sees that Elle is very crazy.
This was a good book and dealt with a lot of mental aspects. It has twists you won't see coming and the end may just make you take a minute to obsorb. I gave it three stars only because I felt through most of the book Irini was a weak character when she could have had a bit more of a backbone.

This novel took me on an epic ride of unexpected proportions. From a pitiful broken adult to a stronger and wiser adult, the main character becomes more likable as the story unfolds. The only problem I had was with the ending. Could she really be so forgiving of her sister?

I look forward to more work by this author.

This book has an interesting plot-resolve. Why don't I say plot? Because 70% through the book, I kept thinking "just get on with it". I felt like there were too many parts I could have skipped and I would have enjoyed the book way more. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the unraveling of the plot.

2.5 Stars

I'm not sure how I feel about this one. It's billed as a thriller but not as suspenseful as I hoped. A large part of it reads as a twisted family saga with Irini trying to figure out her past and Elle manipulating everyone. I didn't really care for Irini's character, but I thought Elle was the perfect blend of crazy. The twist near the end is decent, but I didn't like the ending itself.

Not all books appeal to certain readers, and in the case of this novel I couldn't engage in the plot line. Main character seemed predictable, although sympathetic.

I was not able to finish this book, but appreciate having been given the opportunity to enjoy an ARC.

I received an ARC from NetGalley to read and review. The below is my honest, unbiased opinion. Thank you, Michelle Adams, the publisher, and NetGalley, for allowing me to review.

IF YOU KNEW MY SISTER is a dark psychological thriller from Michelle Adams. The story explores a family dynamic between two sisters, Irini, a now-doctor who was given away by her parents when she was three years old, and Elle, Irini's older sister. Irini is lured back home when Elle informs her that their mother has died. While home, Irini decides to learn the truth about her abandonment, but some secrets are better left buried.

I was surprised that this was Adams's debut novel. It was quite spooky, with the right amount of mystery, suspense, and thrilling action. Elle's character was so completely believable that her horrible actions were that much more scary. I feared for Irini's well-being, yet I was drawn into the pages, wondering what Elle would do next. This was a riveting read that kept me captivated enough to finish it in one sitting.

I really loved this thrill ride about two estranged sisters and the twisted past they shared. When Irini gets the call that the mother she hasn't seen since she was three is dead, she races to Scotland for the funeral--but mainly to get answers from her sister, Elle about why she was the one given away to her aunt and Elle got to stay. Uncovering this mystery however, will reveal some dark and gruesome secrets about the family that Irini could never have imagined. It's about love, betrayal, loyalty, and trust. Do we ever really know those who appear to be closest to us? Your head will spin!