You're young, married to the love of your life, with a beautiful son and a job that you love. Strong in your faith in God and in believing in the miracles that sheer faith can bring. Until her Stage IV colon cancer diagnosis at 35, Kate Bowler, a professor a Duke Divinity School with a specialty in the prosperity gospel, that described her life. 

Before cancer, Kate's beliefs were centered on the miracle of a positive attitude, that willing something into being was possible, that everything did happen for a reason. After cancer, she shares with us her daily struggle to believe in the existence of a world without her in it. With the knowledge that she will, without question, leave her infant son without a mother, her husband without a wife. All her research is stretched to its limits, while, with a dark and yet beautiful humor, learns to really live, two months at a time. 

There will be few books that will touch your heart, few authors that will open up their pain to you and still paint the world with hope and the beautiful determination to make the best of what is left. 
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Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved is a propulsive memoir about a young woman’s sudden, dramatic diagnosis of stage-four cancer after months, possibly years (the timeline is fuzzy), of inexplicable symptoms and innumerable, pointless appointments with medical specialists. Some might frame a personal narrative like Bowler’s in terms of the uncertainty of medical science, reflecting on the imperfection and limitations of humans as diagnosticians and care-givers. Hindsight, of course, is 20/20, but it is evident that the many specialists Bowler saw were guilty of the biases and egregious errors in thinking that a number of medical writers, most notably oncologist Jerome Groopman (in his How Doctors Think and Your Medical Mind), have in recent years brought to public attention. Some of the clinicians Bowler encountered were also guilty of appalling insensitivity. A junior doctor was sent in the early morning hours to inform her about her survival odds: she had a 30 to 50 % chance of surviving two years, she was bluntly told. A physician’s assistant who checked her sutures after her surgery asked her how she was doing, then callously announced: “the sooner you get used to the idea of dying the better.”

While Bowler tells a story that will be familiar to those who have personally lived with their own serious illness or the illness of someone close to them, as well as those who have read other memoirs about the subject, the author’s angle—a religious and academic one— is rather unusual. At the time she first experienced her inexplicable symptoms, Bowler was working on her dissertation on “the prosperity gospel”, the brand of Christianity famously exemplified by the likes of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, Joel Osteen, and Kenneth Copeland—among innumerable other “televangelists”, “charismatics” and religious shysters out there. This “gospel” is premised on the idea that if one only believes enough, one is entitled to all of God’s bounty. This, importantly, is not limited to spiritual gifts; it also includes material wealth, such as money and cars, and worldly success in general. It’s basically, the evangelical “take” on the American Dream. The notion that the blessings will flow if one only works hard enough to believe is immensely attractive to those struggling with chronic or catastrophic illnesses, broken families, or troubled teenaged offspring. Often exhausted after having tried all the conventional fixes to life’s big problems, the desperate become as little children and surrender to magical thinking.

In essence the “prosperity gospel” isn’t that far removed from another homegrown American religion: Christian Science, which is predicated on the idea that right thought leads to perfect health. Illness, therefore, is evidence of flaws in the believer. While proponents of the prosperity gospel may not eschew modern medicine with its advanced diagnostics and techno-surgical, chemical, and experimental fixes, they are like the followers of Mary Baker Eddy in that they regard sickness as an indication of failure. Perhaps the believer hasn’t acknowledged all his sins and is preventing God from bestowing His bounty.

Bowler excels at communicating the visceral, chaotic feelings of a person faced with a sudden dire diagnosis: the fear, the panic, the pleading and bargaining, the anger at the injustice of it all (she is preparing for death while everyone else is on Instagram), the grief—the intense sorrow— at the prospect of being wrenched from her young son and her husband, Toban, whom she’s loved since their adolescence in Manitoba. She even writes of being aggrieved at slights she won’t be present to argue against, projecting a future without herself in it, imagining some well-meaning but deluded soul accosting her husband with the old pearl of wisdom that God must have wanted another angel. Bowler’s narrative reveals all this but also indicates that the author hasn’t been an entirely detached observer of and commentator on the prosperity gospel; she’s absorbed at least some of its tenets. She writes: “It is one thing to abandon vices and false starts and broken relationships.I have tried to scrounge around in my life for things to improve, things to repent of, things to give God to say, There. I gave it all. But it is something else entirely to surrender my family . . .”


At the time of her sudden (late) diagnosis and surgery, Bowler was a lecturer at Duke University’s Divinity School in Durham, North Carolina. She not only had an abundance of friends to rally around her, but she also had a bevy of pastors, pastors-in-training, and general do-gooders praying for her. However, all the prayers in the world could do little to assuage the threat of being cut down in her prime.

Bowler’s memoir is an interesting and quick read, though the author’s telling is (understandably) occasionally scrambled and frustrating. The disorganized execution creates a sense of emotional immediacy, but sometimes causes confusion. Events are not presented in clear, chronological order and the language can sometimes be fuzzy. For example, we are told that some years before the cancer diagnosis, when Bowler was hospitalized, having “agreed to some kind of surgery”, she and her husband were stunned to learn—seemingly mere hours before the procedure (again, the chronology is unclear)—that she is pregnant (after years of struggling with fertility). One assumes the surgery was intended to address the mysterious loss of motor function in Bowler’s arms. Whatever the case, the operation was off, and the couple returned home to dither and fuss for a bit. “But it had begun,” Bowler writes. What “it” was is not clear. The pregnancy? The ordeal? (By this point, she had already been having symptoms for some time.) She continues: “I felt something strange and ran to the bathroom. I started to scream for Toban.” What was this strange “something”? She doesn’t say. In the shower: “I could not look down. I was nothing but blood and water.” Is this meant literally, or is it a presentment? Again, it is not clear.

A significant part of Bowler’s memoir is dedicated to describing the mail, both snail and electronic, she received after an essay of hers was published in the New York Times. It seems all correspondence— whether from Christians, atheists, Buddhists, or fellow cancer patients—was intended to provide Bowler with the writers’ understanding of the reason why she had been stricken. Some letters were confessional outpourings. At the end of her book, Bowler provides appendices about what to say and not to say to someone dealing with catastrophic illness—something that many readers may find useful.

At the time of writing, Bowler was still engaged in clinical trials for which she had to fly to Atlanta on a weekly basis. A scan conducted every two months indicated whether she was eligible to continue for two months more. After half a dozen or so rounds, there were signs that Bowler’s body was having a hard time coping with the toxic chemical loads. Having learned that she was among the three percent with the “magic” cancer that could be explained by a complicated gene repair disorder that might respond to experimental therapies, there was, of course, no guarantee that the treatment would actually be magical or the response long lasting.


Many of us go through life events that utterly transform us, about which we can say later there is distinct “before” and “after”. For some, these events occur sooner than later. The world—or more precisely, the way we see it—seems completely changed. The carpet has been pulled out from under us, or perhaps the obscuring veil of illusion has dropped. Everything Happens For A Reason represents its author’s effort to make sense of the ultimate seismic shift in her understanding of life. One of the things she learns as she is “stuck in the eternal present of cancer”, trying to walk the “fine line between total passivity and supercharged heroic effort”, is that nothing human or divine will map out this life, this life that has been more painful than I had imagined. More beautiful than I had imagined.”


Thank you to Net Galley and Allison Schuster at Penguin Random House for providing me with a digital copy of this memoir.

This is such a poignant, sad and uplifting story told by a courageous and irreverent Divinity professor. I was really drawn to her story, especially about the dilemmas in modern-day religion and medicine. I particularly enjoyed her witty suggestions in the appendices. If I knew her, I would bring gifts. She is a model for all of us humans---be thankful for what we do have and live every day to the fullest.

I just finished reading Kate Bowler's Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved, a memoir of her life before and with incurable Stage IV colon cancer. If you're like me and tend to shy away from books about terminal illness, you might think it will be a dark, depressing, hopeless tale that will leave you in tears and in a blue mood for a week.

This book isn't like that. Kate is smart, funny, and endearingly honest with how she faces this illness day by day. She has a young son and a husband whom she loves and doesn't want to leave. There is no way to ignore her sense of grief as she lives with the fact she is dying, but she is no Debbie Downer. Her narrative goes along with her emotions and thoughts in a way that is tender and raw and completely relatable. She feels sadness, anger, and despair, but also joy, gratitude and hope.

Throughout, she expresses her thoughts on Christianity, particularly the prosperity message and how it does not serve people who face terminal illness or catastrophic events of any kind. By relating not only her experience, but those of many others who have gone through the loss of loved ones or who are ill themselves, she shows how this message does a lot more harm than good. Although she remains a believer, how she thinks about God and Divine interaction does go through an evolution as she attempts to make sense of her circumstances.

What stands out to me, aside from the fact that the book is interlaced with references to the Christian prosperity gospel, which I am very familiar with, is how well she brings the reader so close to herself and her story. You will feel like a trusted friend who is allowed to hear her unedited version of what it's really like to be her as she makes this journey. Kate Bowler has given the world a gift with this book. I walked away thankful for even the tough things in my life and with a determination to not waste a moment of it. I highly recommend that you read this book for yourself.

I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Kate Bowler has stage IV cancer. And (at least in the place she's at in the start of the book) she's expanding her dissertation on the history of the Prosperity Gospel in America into a book (that book, Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel, is now on my to-read list, because I find that sort of thing _fascinating_ and destructive in the state of our nation ATM and want to know more about how it happened). This is a book about her processing that, and dealing with everyone telling her and her family "everything happens for a reason", "God is testing you", "this is happening because [insert terrible assertion from a stranger about 'sin' here]". This is a memoir of her treatment process, and what she's learned. It's very good. There is humor, and heart, and hope here.

It also has an index of What Not To Say to people dealing with terminal illness which is fantastic.

In "Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved" Kate Bowler bravely shares what her life was like after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She is open, honest, questioning, angry, searching for meaning as she seeks to deal with what most of us hope to never have to face.

She tries to rationalize her cancer according to the theological mode of the prosperity church which she has spent much time researching for her doctorate. Their belief is that God is good all the time, and if you do not prosper, you must have sinned or be doing something wrong. No matter what faith you are, when you are faced with your own dying, you have questions, and doubts, and anger, and Kate comes to realize that's ok. That's expected. And God may be good, but life happens, and death happens; it always has, it always will. As she says "Life is so beautiful. Life is so hard."

It seems odd or cruel to say that I enjoyed this book; but I enjoyed the open honest way Kate shared her journey with us. I appreciate her letting us view her journey, I admire her bravery. I especially appreciated the appendices which tell readers what is NOT helpful to say to someone with a terminal illness, as well as what IS helpful and comforting.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Random House for allowing me to read an e-ARC of this fine book.

This book was so powerful it leaves you contemplating life but also humorous in parts. I am still processing this deep meaningful book. Ms. Bowlers story is gripping and heart-wrenching, but at the same time beautiful and inspiring. I truly enjoyed this book and it will stay with me for a long time to come

I received an ARC from the publisher for review. This book was a bit heart-wrenching, the story of Kate Bowler's cancer diagnosis and grappling with her own mortality. I have to rate it a little lower because the narrative style was jarring to me - Bowler skipped around so much that I kept having to reread parts of the story because all of a sudden we were in a different tense, or timeline. Some good lessons in here, and be warned, there's lots of God - maybe more than I was expecting. If you've read Bowler before, you should know to expect this.

If you're concerned that there will be too much religion in this for you- don't be. Faith is an important component in this memoir but it's a thread or theme, not a brickbat. Bowler is a fascinating woman. She's a scholar of a subject I know nothing about, she's a mom, and she's living with a terrible cancer. I learned a lot from this beautifully written and thoughtful book, not least of which was what not to say to someone in her position. There are many memoirs these days written by young people with cancer; this one is one of the best because it's so frank. Bowler asks questions, especially about whether positivity can make a difference. She articulates concerns some of us have thought about and that's comforting. I only wish I could send comfort to her. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC.

Anyone that's ever been told "everything happens for a reason" will love this book. It takes effort on the part of the individual in need to see things with a silver lining.

Is it true that God rewards the good when they do good and punish them when they do bad? Is it also true that there is absolutely a reason for everything that happens to us? Must well-meaning Christians always do something for those who are going through tough times? What about things such as as direct blessings or curses? Is it true that God blesses us when we are good and curses us when we are bad? By the way, is there a cancer cure for those who seek God hard enough, or when we pray fervently enough? Having gone through personal struggles and doubts over past pet beliefs, author Kate Bowler emphatically says no. In a nutshell, there is no such thing of a spiritual guarantee for some earthly cure from heavenly realms. Having written "Blessed," one of the most in-depth studies and research on the prosperity gospel, Bowler shares her inner thoughts and feelings about the promises and perils of believing in the prosperity gospel in the midst of extreme pain and cancer. In a frank and open manner, Bowler reveals how her stomach pains and frequent discomfort led to a shocking diagnosis of an advanced stage of colon cancer.


Chapter after chapter, she wrestles and questions the state she is in and reflections on what should or not be done for people who are terminally ill. She dispels simplistic beliefs and spiritual guarantees that sound good on the outside but feels empty on the inside. At the same time, she shares about her yearning for the promises to be true, even as she struggles with her own physical condition. Her own body had become an object lesson of what works and what doesn't. Ultimately, the prosperity gospel is essentially about positive thinking. The chapter on "Seasons" show forth her ups and downs with baby Zach tilting the balance firmly toward "Blessed." The chapter on "Surrender" is perhaps one of the most profound in the book as Bowler goes beyond her specialized training in history and teaches us a lot about being sensitive to a person struggling with an advanced stage of cancer. Pastors and caregivers have a few lessons to learn. Reflecting on Christmas, Bowler contemplates the notion of waiting. Is she waiting for the inevitable to happen or some miracle to occur? She appreciates the professional and genuine care at cancer clinics. Positivity works for a while reality knocks one back like a coiled spring. Toward the end of the book, there is a sense of surrender and a boldness to deal with the fear of uncertainty.

At times, she writes with flashes of candor like Anne Lamott; the wit of Lauren Winner; and some profound insights like Joni Eareckson Tada. Yet, there is something truly personal and heartbreaking as she wrestles with a search for hope in all directions, frequently referring back to the promises of the prosperity gospel. Balancing scepticism and hope, she concludes that there are many things Christians have deceived themselves, something she had also done. Like a jilted lover longing hopelessly for a return to the romance of yesterday, she details the struggles of today while seeking out a more hopeful tomorrow. What I appreciate most about this book is the honesty and amazing use of her own story as a continuation of the prosperity gospel project. In this manner, the book is not merely a biography of her journey through cancer but works as a testimony of the strengths and weaknesses of the health and wealth gospel. The Appendix at the end of the book is a useful reference to caregivers on what things to avoid saying to sick people. She ends with this very witty quip about the gulf between reality and false promises: "Just remember that if cancer or divorce or tragedies of all kinds don’t kill you, people’s good intentions will."

Kate Bowler is Assistant Professor at Duke Divinity School in Durham, North Carolina. Originally from the Canadian prairie city of Winnipeg, she first shot to fame with her book "Blessed"on prosperity gospel.

Rating: 5 stars of 5.

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This book has been provided courtesy of Random House and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

This is an interesting book. Kate Bowler, a professor of Divinity and a scholar of the “Prosperity Doctrine” (something that I, as a Jewish person, could not quite understand), is diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer after months of agonizing pain dismissed by doctor after doctor. She is told she has but a few months to live. After surviving a drastic surgery, she commences the journey of palliative care and is ultimately accepted into a grueling clinical trial, which, sadly, fails to put her into the remission she desperately craves.

Those are the facts of the story, and the author tells them frankly, the highs and lows, and, most importantly, her terrible sadness about leaving loved ones behind. She receives a host of conflicting messages from the conflicting faithful, but eventually understands that is NOT true that everything happens for a reason, but it IS true that everything happens: we have no knowledge of what may or may not happen in our lives, and, even if one believes in a God that has direct power or influence on our lives (I don’t), one does not and cannot know God’s ways or intentions. She comes to a kind of peace knowing that some day she will die, but as one of her wisest friends tells her, “we all die,” and if we live our lives waiting to die, we are not really living. Although written from a Christian perspective, the lessons she learns are universal.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me an advance copy of this thoughtful and thought-provoking book.

Kate Bowler has a gift with words. At times I was laughing out loud and at other times tears were running down my cheeks as I absorbed the written words of her story in Everything Happens for a Reason. There is a tendency in all of us to want everything in life to be explainable and scheduled, and wrapped up neatly with a bow on top, but cancer and all that comes along with it can cause us to question "everything". I found comfort in reading Kate's words, knowing that she couldn't explain why she was experiencing what she was any more than anyone can. Yet still her faith remains genuine and her love for her family is completely palpable. Her writing style is simply gifted. I found myself wishing I could communicate like she can, mixing the raw truth both with humor and with sorrow. I read this book in one day, and I highly recommend it.

This is a slight book that is somewhat disorganized; at times Bowler's narrative jumps around in time and topic and feels unfocused. However, Bowler's wit and moments of sarcasm, as well as her interesting view on religious philosophy make it an interesting read.

Kate Bowler has written an engaging, poignant memoir on her life as a young mom with cancer. She also has the distinct background of being a prosperity gospel scholar and professor at Duke Divinity School. It's a short read, and once I got started couldn't put it down. I think the appendices alone are worth getting this book - they include things to NEVER say to people experiencing terrible times, along with her gut responses to these remarks, as well as what TO say/do, including my favorite - show up and shut up.

Wonderful refreshing read made me think about things a lot more than I usually would!

This was the 2018 title I was most looking forward to reading, and it didn’t disappoint. I devoured it in one day. It combines two of my niche interests: medical (especially cancer) memoirs, and the prosperity gospel, a dubious theology I grew up with in the Pentecostal church my parents still attend in America. Indeed, Bowler’s previous book is a history of the prosperity gospel in America. Though she grew up surrounded by the Canadian Mennonite tradition, as she made progress towards becoming an assistant professor at Duke Divinity School she was fascinated by prosperity theology: the idea that you can claim God’s blessings, financial and otherwise, as a reward for righteous behavior and generous giving to the church.

If she’d ever been tempted to set store by this notion, that certainty was permanently fractured when she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer in her mid-thirties. “In a spiritual world in which healing is a divine right, illness is a symptom of unconfessed sin,” that way of thinking went. Having incurable cancer forced her to acknowledge that nothing is actually that simple; that there is no direct correlation between the quality of your faith and the outcomes you experience. “Control is a drug and we are all hooked,” she realized, when really life, with all its beauty and awfulness, is down to luck. Bowler writes tenderly about suffering and surrender, and about living in the moment with her husband and son while being uncertain of the future she faces. I especially liked the appendix entitled “Absolutely Never Say This to People Experiencing Terrible Times” (followed by some alternative lines to try). Bowler’s writing reminds me of Anne Lamott’s and Nina Riggs’s.

You know you connect with an author when you finish reading their work and immediately look for more. I just ordered Blessed, Bowler' s book on prosperity religion. Everything Happens for a Reason references Blessed but focuses on the Author's cancer diagnosis and treatment. Many good tips on how to support someone with terminal illness. An interesting look at the big questions grappled with during debilitating times.

Copy provided by the Publisher and NetGalley

What a book. This book really makes you think. Like to know how author and family are doing. Great work!