I knew I'd like this because I always enjoy Daniel Ortberg's writing, and I like new takes on fairy tales, and I wasn't disappointed. There's a lot going on with gender and gender expectations in these, which isn't surprising considering what Ortberg was doing at the time of writing. When you think about it, a lot of our fairy tales really are about finding a new role or rejecting a role in society, so it works and adds to the stories.

I wanted to love this book, but alas. I did not. These stories aren't really much darker than the original fairy tales, and it just gets a little repetitive by the end. Not for me.

This was much creepier and affecting than I expected. Having read a lot of humor from this author, I maybe should have but did not realize he would be so well suited to this kind of absurd, anxious horror. While some stories are much stronger than others, the whole collection is worth a read.

I loved these quirky, dark short stories by Daniel Ortberg. I've mostly known of his humor and essay work on The Toast, but this shows how great his fiction writing chops are, too. These stories remind me a bit of Kelly Link.

When I read a "retelling of classic fairy tales," I expect a new perspective on the story but I don't expect to feel like the retelling is better than the original. But here we are, with this book of sinister, darker versions of all our favorites and I find myself enjoying them greatly.

In these stories, Ortberg re-imagines happily-ever-after, questions the villainy of villains and the righteousness of the heroes. The reader is often asked to question the values and motivations of stories we have accepted at face value. I have never wrestled with my moral compass and felt so challenged by fairy tales before!

If you are a dark and sinister sort, I think you will feel vindicated and rewarded by parts of these stories, and perhaps desperately betrayed by others. No one will be unscathed.

One note: my little kids love dark and sinister tales, but this one is not for them. This is fully grown-up, and I delight in hoarding it for myself.

Many people are introduced through Grimm's Fairy Tales through Disney. The most famous of these, The Little Mermaid, has her winning the heart of the prince, defeating the sea witch, and living happily ever after. This is not how things go in the original story. As the mermaid fails to win the prince's heart, she dies and turns into sea foam.

The author takes this story one step darker. Ortberg claims he is moving the blood around. It is a sort of revenge upon the original tales. It questions who is the real antagonist. His retelling of The Little Mermaid certainly gets one's attention as he heaves these fractured fairy tales.

I picked this one up with glee because I love Ortberg's writing. The short stories were as tense and dense as I was expecting, but some of the choices-- especially where the adaptation is based on fusion with other, more different stories-- didn't quite work for me.

Some stories were made stronger by the fusion (I cannot shake the feeling of dread left by "Some of Us Had Been Threatening Our Friend, Mr Toad"), but others never quite solidified into a coherent narrative ("The Thankless Child", "Good Fences Make Good Neighbors"), leaving me with fleeting emotional sensations but no strong impact. Still, Ortberg was plainly at his best when re-considering of the foundations of the original work, and digging out the horrific elements displayed within. Both "The Rabbit" (based on The Velveteen Rabbit) and "The Daughter Cells" (based on The Little Mermaid) are deadly inspired.

I really love the concept of this book. I’m a big fan of twisted and/or re-told tales, and there are some really interesting combinations of stories woven together here. But overall I just didn’t really care for the execution of it.

Really excellent. REALLY excellent! Some of the stories are so complex in meaning and layers of more meaning that they take a few reads to really "get"-- hence why this book took me FOREVER to read, when I usually fly through short story collections. Love Mallory Ortberg, love this book, actually bought a kindle copy after it came out. And can't wait to read Ortberg's next!!

This book is a master class in allegory and allusion. I'm sure I missed so much, but I found it charming and thought-provoking anyway. Ortberg is a master and I would read his grocery lists.

When you need a quick... pick-me-up, you can hardly do better than some updated fairy tales. Orthberg drags classic tales out of the shadows, through the clear light of the modern day, and deposits them back in the shadows of the reader's shuddering mind. Totally recommended for the person who can't get unsettled enough.

I loved these!
Hilarious and disturbing retellings of your childhood favorites. Sharp, insightful and feminist, they may ruin forever the way you look at these stories.
Thanks to NetGalley for a copy of the book.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC. Ortberg builds in these stories, all fragmented fairy tales with hints of other origins, a wild menagerie of characters and motives. It is unclear in most of the stories who the real villain or heroine is, or if thinking in such black and white terms is even valuable. The writing is clear and eerie, and some stories (I’m looking at you, Velveteen Rabbit retelling) downright scared me. Weird and wacky- my favorite tales were the title one The Merry Spinster and Six Boy Coffins. I wouldn’t want to live in this world, but it was fun to visit.

This is Mallory Ortberg*at their Mallory Ortberg-iest. I love retellings of popular folk tales, I love horror stories, and, more often than not, I love Mallory Ortberg. However, it did get to be Too Much.

There is no doubt that Ortberg is a true wordsmith -- the artistry from which one word connects to the other is incredible. Their writing is astonishing good. But it is palpably self-satisfied, so pleased with its own cleverness that I found myself turned off more often than not.
I really enjoyed the story of Jacob and the Angel and The Rabbit is an instant classic. The rest of the stories were fine, but Ortberg's overly-aware-of-their-own-cleverness kept me from truly enjoying the work.




*I don't know how to proceed here -- is his official author name for this book Daniel Mallory or Mallory Ortberg? I'm going with the published name for now.

I received a digital ARC of this book from Netgalley.

Just a suggestion, Goodreads: if a title is a book of short stories, list the titles in the collection in the book's description. I hate having to hunt around when I don't have the book in front of me.

Also, Mallory Ortberg now identifies as male and is called Daniel Mallory Ortberg. I'll be using 'he' pronouns in this review.

Since a lot of people grow up with fairy tales, we often accept them at face value. We don't seem to realize how dark and weird they really are. Fairy tales are often very upsetting. People are transformed against their will, or gruesomely murdered, or taken away from everything they ever knew with no hope of going back. Ortberg does a great job of defamiliarizing fairy tales, even if I occasionally had no idea what was happening.

The Daughter Cells- A version of The Little Mermaid, that reminds us how unlikely it is for anything that lives in the sea to look remotely humanoid. Also, shouldn't people from alien cultures have alien ideas about, well, everything? Creepy fun, 4 out of 5 stars.

The Thankless Child- This seems to be Cinderella set in a post apocalyptic wasteland, complete with some pretty heavy reordering of society. I'm not sure what is happening, and I kinda wish it were a novel on it's own so I could figure it out. Does feature what will be a recurring theme, of people called 'daughters' not necessarily being female. 3 out of 5 stars.

Fear Not: An Incident Log- You know how whenever angels in the Bible appear to someone, the first thing they say is "Fear not!"? Yeah, maybe there's a good reason for that... 4 out of 5 stars.

The Six Boy-Coffins- Easily the best story in the collection. A version of The Six Swans that focuses on the pain and oppression of their sister as she labors to turn them back into boys without making a sound. 5 out of 5 stars.

The Rabbit- The Velveteen Rabbit, if the Rabbit was a murdering psycho. The most upsetting story in the collection for me. 4 out of 5 stars.

The Merry Spinster- "Beauty's" mother makes a deal after she's caught plucking a flower on the Beast's property. This one doesn't really go anywhere, except to make us wonder why the Beast even wants Beauty. 2 out of 5 stars.

The Wedding Party- A couple talk about their upcoming wedding and the groom thinks the bride's friend is too cheap. That's about it. 1 out of 5 stars.

Some of Us Had Been Threatening Our Friend Mr. Toad- Mr. Toad's friends abuse and gaslight him. Apparently based on a short story called "Some of Us Had Been Threatening Our Friend Colby," which I have not read. 3 out of 5 stars.

Cast Your Bread Upon the Waters- A man marries a mermaid (or siren or other water based folktale person) and brings her home to live with his mother. Unfortunately, mom is a religious zealot who is convinced her new daughter in law has no soul, and decides to 'save' her grandchildren from this horrible fate. Dudes, don't bring home folktale creatures to live with your mother if she's a crazy religious zealot. That's just common sense. 4 out of 5 stars.

The Frog's Princess- Basically a straight retelling of The Princess and the Frog, but the princess is possibly a boy. The Princess and the Frog is one of my least favorite stories, so I didn't really care for this one. 2 out of 5 stars.

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors- The Fisherman and His Wife, except the 'wife' is even more awful than in the original story. Talking fish can't solve your relationship problems. 3 out of 5 stars.

There's no doubt that Ortberg is a talented writer. He's got a deft hand and a quick wit. I didn't enjoy this book quite as much as Texts from Jane Eyre, but I certainly hope Ortberg writes more in the future.

Pairs well with The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter, Texts from Jane Eyre by (Daniel) Mallory Ortberg, and The Princess series by Jim C. Hines (the first one is The Stepsister Scheme).

I loved the concept of this book and have always enjoyed Daniel Mallory Ortberg's writing. I appreciate re-tellings of classic tales, particularly those that expose the gender and class violence implicit in familiar stories. Despite all that, I found this book disappointing. I just didn't get the humor in the work, which seems a series of bleak and sometimes dull episodes. Horror isn't a genre I often read so perhaps horror enthusiasts will enjoy this book.

This book was just okay for me. I believe I wasn't truly the target audience for it, and that it would definitely be a wonderful book for other people. Short story collections are usually pretty hit or miss for me, and this one was mostly misses.

a wonderful collection of stories whose prose is at once fluid and complex making it a true delight to read

I’m not too big on fairy tale retellings, but these were superb. Ortberg has taken classic fairy tales, mostly well known, and twisted them and mashed them together to create new, horrifying fairy tales that speak directly to contemporary times. She twists who the hero is, who holds the power, what beauty is, and nearly everything else. This is a dark, wonderful collection of stories that happen to be riffs on fairy tales.

I read the first few, skimmed the rest. They just didn't draw me in though the writing was good. There were several parts in the first story that I liked a great deal, but my interest really faded as the stories went on. Perhaps it was due to my own ineptitude with Grimm's fairy tales.