I greatly enjoyed this book. It was a very interesting, deeply personal account of the author's experiences and made for a fascinating follow-up to her previous book. A worthwhile read, particularly for those interested in sexuality and the complexities of identity and how it shifts over time.

This was not only a good read, but also something really relatable and honestly helpful for me. It's good to know that I don't need to have a moment that made me realize I was gay. It's just a part of me.

The book started out ok, but then just did not keep my interest. If she was not struggling with not being in a relationship with a male, once she came out, she then struggled with various things here also. The book was redundant and just not a good read for me. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the ARC of this book. Although I received the book in this manner, it did not impact my opinion of this book nor my review.

The writing in this memoir is good, but the writer often comes off as somewhat immature. She writes about having figured out so much about herself since she came out and started dating a woman, but she still seems incredibly insecure in her relationship and in the way she sees herself. Despite her frequent mentions of how much she now understands about love and relationships, it's difficult to take her seriously when it seems like her entire romantic life is just her sitting by passively and waiting for someone to happen along and love her.

I found a lot of Heaney’s writing to be redundant. Katie seemed to retell the same stories over + over again in her memoir. It seemed like she was trying to show the stories from different perspectives, but they were all of her same stories… from her perspective. In Heaney’s life thus far, she has learned a lot about herself and the person that she wants to be. That is something that I truly admire. To go from writing a book about never dating to the slow-time realization that you are queer is a big shocker to the system. Just because I didn’t love her writing style, doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate her story.

It's a brave thing to write a memoir as a young person. One of the biggest components of success in such an endeavor is to recognize your youth, your inexperience, and everything you don't yet know about yourself and the world you live in. Katie Heaney is so honest, relatable, and genuine, and she nailed it with this book! I came out and started dating a woman when I was 20, 8 years younger than when Heaney came out, but I still vividly remember the feelings she describes. As a queer woman, it's so wonderful (and rare) to see an experience similar to your own with a happy ending. Reading this memoir felt like watching a friend finally come into her own and start living her best life.

I'll read absolutely anything Katie Heaney writes at this point. I recommended my library purchase this book for our patrons and we did. I've already recommended it to people.

I'd never heard of Katie Heaney before I decided to pick up Would You Rather : A Memoir of Growing Up and Coming Out, but the blurb was too interesting for me to pass up.

Sexuality in general intrigues me, especially the personal exploration of sexuality. I'm always interested in someone's sexuality discovery story (in romance as well as non-fiction), and stories where people realize they are bisexual/pansexual or gay later in life always catch my attention.

Katie Heaney was in her late 20s when she realized that her inability to find the right chemistry with a man and her sneaking suspicion that her "awareness" of women might meant that she may not be, in fact, perfectly straight.

I liked that everything wasn't cut and dry with her story. She had attractions to men (I mean, how did I NOT realize that lesbians being attracted to Harry Styles is a thing?!) and lots of crushes, so the dawning realization that she was, in fact, gay, wasn't something that she woke up knowing one day. There were years where she debated with herself, something I found to be relatable and realistic.

I personally consider myself to be straight, but perhaps my little (okay, strong) attraction to Shane from The L Word and more than a passing attraction to a certain type of butch lesbian might put me closer to a Kinsey 1 than anything else. I always think of sexuality as more muddled and complex than most people think, and I liked how we really got to explore Katie's journey in discovering herself with her.

Katie Heaney is a great writer, and I often felt like I was having a conversation with a friend. The ending dragged a tiny bit, but Katie's personal musing and obsessions came across as quirky and charming. I wanted to know her and everything about her story.

A great read for those who are questioning their sexuality or someone who simply wants an interesting, easy-to-read memoir centered around dating and self-discovery.

*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*

When she published her debut memoir Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date, Katie Heaney laid out what it was like to be twenty-something and perpetually single. In her latest book, the author opens up about her experience realizing that she was gay at the age of 28, including what it was like coming out to her loved ones, her first relationship with another woman, and navigating a dating scene that was totally new to her. Thoughtful and heartwarming, Would You Rather? is a poignant look at what is like to truly discover who you are and what you want, out of love and out of life.

I really wanted to like this book, but found the writing style rambling and redundant, with no structure behind the narrative.

I am sorry to say that I started this book, put it down, and tried a few times to get back into it but never did. It just really wasn't my cup of tea.

Would You Rather? is a lovely memoir about a woman who grew up in a sheltered, moderately conservative area coming to terms with her sexuality. The reason this is so revolutionary is because, as Katie herself says, there are so few widespread stories about adults realizing they’re gay. So many people say that they always knew, it leaves little room in the narrative for people like Katie, who didn’t always know. Overall, it was an enjoyable read that I’m glad I picked up! My only complaint was that it does meander at times and that the end kind of trails off for me instead of ending strongly.

I am very happy for Katie Heaney that she figured out why she had never successfully dated men and was able to come out and discover love. But as I sometimes find with blogger books, this didn't really hang together for me. The essays/blog posts are roughly chronological, but putting them all together meant they read very choppy and disconnected from each other.

Ultimately, the hyperanalysis of why she was so clueless about her sexual orientation for such a long time grew old after a while. It's easy to get all up in your head about something in your life you see as a problem. But it's also not something I would really want to put out there for the world to see. This is like reading her journal, and it's all too much and too little at the same time. Her story is not extraordinary, and while she is a decent writer, after a while, I just lost interest and struggled to finish.

I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

I loved the other two books I've read by Katie Heaney (NEVER HAVE I EVER and the novel PUBLIC RELATIONS), and I loved this, too. Katie is a very relatable writer, but part of that may be because we're the same age and grew up in similar environments (the midwest). I feel like this book could be written by my best friend, because it's conversational and real, and I love that. Like, if I lived in NYC, I'd totally want to hang out with her.

This is a quick read, but it's meaningful, and I like the organization of it. The little snippets of her crushes on girls throughout her life are a lighthearted interlude between the overarching story she's telling. She touches on issues of feminism and LGBTQ rights, but nothing is so in-your-face that it becomes about that. Instead, it's about her experience. Regardless of your sexuality, this is an enjoyable read. Highly recommend.

Now I need to read DEAR EMMA as well, because I'm sure I won't be disappointed.

Honest, heartwarming memoir

I have not read Kate Heaney's previous book. However I think she does an excellent job in bringing the author up to date as she shares the next leg of her journey of discovery.
I was very moved by her honesty on conveying her journey to discovering her true self.
I really believe this book is not just a book for the LGBTQIA community. Rather it's a book for anyone who has questioned who they were or what they really want or need from their lives.

I received an advance reader copy from Netgalley.

I really enjoyed Katie Heaney's first memoir (and Public Relations, the novel she co-wrote, was such a fun read), and was so happy to find that her upcoming memoir, Would You Rather, is enjoyable and interesting. Her story of the long road she took to coming out feels fresh and honest. The author is relatable, with a Midwestern self-consciousness I understand. A solid, easy read.

"Would You Rather?" was a refreshing set of memoirs and essays by Katie Heaney. Heaney had already written a book about her dating misadventures, and I definitely want to read that after reading this one. In "Would You Rather?," Heaney grapples with her dating mishaps, losing her virginity late, and guys not appealing to her - because in her later twenties she finally figured out that she'd much prefer dating women. Heaney made me laugh and made me cry with her otherness, and made me feel like I'm not alone in my alternate sexuality.

“Would You Rather? A Memoir Of Growing Up And Coming Out” is the second book written by Katie Heaney, and is her courageous confessional follow-up to her “Never Have I Ever” (2014). Heaney completed the graduate program in Public Policy at the University of Minnesota, yet still didn’t have any clear insight as to why she had little interest in dating anyone or having a serious relationship. Heaney explored her dilemma in painstaking detail as she matured in adulthood.

While in grad school and studying in Barcelona, Heaney eagerly followed the popular cable TV show “The L Word” (2001-2009). A woman didn’t need to be a lesbian to “crush” on the shows heartthrob Shane McCutcheon. Heaney followed a cult-like forum for the actress (Katherine Moennig), and wrote extensively about her passion for Shane. In a similar manner, she would detail her obsession for Harry Styles, a member of the U.K. boy band One Direction—to the point of waiting outside his hotel with some 16 year old girls to spot him.
After grad school, Heaney happily lived with her best friend Rylee, and as a writer often working from home, she lounged around in her pajamas for most of the day. Not getting out much may have contributed to the lack of dates and male companionship. Many of her single friends complained about dating. The most exciting conversation she had with a rare date was about his fascination with snuff films and admiration for subway graffiti. Moving to NYC turned out to be a brave change and step in the right direction..

Heaney had an epiphany while riding the subway to work— at 28 years of age, her attraction to men was simply nonexistent. With a new therapist, Heaney began exploring her interest in women. Switching her dating app to a preference for women was easy, and texting other women turned out to be easier and less awkward than texting men. Throughout the book, Heaney seemed to put herself through a great deal of stress and anxiety in a grueling process of examination and over analysis of nearly every emotion and detail of her dating and coming-out as a gay woman. It was a relief as she came to terms with her sexual orientation and could move on.

When Heaney met Lydia on OK Cupid, she hit the jackpot with a bonanza payout! Once she and Lydia were in a committed relationship, Heaney would reconsider her thoughts on marriage after attending her brother’s wedding in Minnesota. While walking down the street, a teen girl noticed Heaney with Lydia and shouted out to them; “You two make a great couple!” This brought Heaney to tears. It would have been fun and interesting to read more details about the couple’s trip to Paris—best wishes for much love and happiness in their life together. 3* GOOD.
** With thanks and appreciation to Ballantine Books via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.

Would You Rather? was a refreshing, interesting, and funny memoir. Katie Heaney came to terms with her sexuality after much reflection about her dating history and male relationships. I found it intriguing, being a native New Yorker, that the author came to this decision while on a NYC train going to work. Her focused gravitated toward female passengers instead of several handsome men around her. The author realized in that 15 minute subway epiphany ride that she wasn’t straight. Needless to say, the next day she explored this revelation with her therapist. It was shared information like this and others, such as her anxiety problems, online dating sites, political atmosphere, and Harry Styles infatuation, that set this apart from other memoirs. It was believable and funny, yet clearly emotional for the author as she explained coming to terms with not only her sexuality, but being in an actual loving relationship.
This well written memoir is highly recommended, not only for those in similar situations, but for anyone who enjoys a good read!

Preface: I haven't read Heaney's first book.

I found this book refreshingly honest memoir that discusses assumed sexuality. The book takes a very serious topic and delves in (not too deep, don't worry) discussing Heaney's realization that she may quite possibly be attracted to women. This is a quick read but an important one.