Oh my gosh, what a feels-palooza! I was blown away by Erin McLellan's debut novel, Controlled Burn, and had high expectations for Life on Pause, which totally delivered.

One of the things I was most impressed with in her first book was the way McLellan puts personal growth at the forefront of the story, and that is definitely the case in Life on Pause as well. This is a romance, yes, but the romance between Rusty and Niles doesn't drive the story. In fact, they aren't even a couple for a good 50% of it. Instead, we watch as Rusty and Niles (in dual third-person POV) face the struggles life has thrown at them.

My heart continually broke for Niles. He's living in his family home, which is almost a time capsule of his parents, his mother who passed away from cancer and his father who suffered two strokes and is living in an assisted care facility with a poor prognosis. He is painfully, almost debilitatingly insecure and shy. Without his parents, and with his one friend working on a cruise ship and not nearby, he's lapsed almost into stasis. He has never had a relationship, and his only sexual experiences have been anonymous hookups in bar bathrooms or backseats. He doesn't think he's worth more than that. Seriously, my heart broke for him constantly. I absolutely loved watching him come into himself as the story progressed, standing up for himself against bullies, against Rusty, and even against himself.

Rusty was such an honest character, IMO. Not in, like, he always tells the truth, because whoo boy is that not the case. But he was realistic and a reflection of an actual human being, not a two-dimensional, perfect love interest. I had some issues with some of his choices and actions, but his reasoning behind it was such that I completely understood why he does what he does. I might not have liked it - I might have raged at my Kindle a few times because seriously, miscommunication is my least favorite trope ever - but I understood it and could actually see why he thought the way he thought. And in case you missed that, poor communication is HUGE here. Like, it's basically the entire plot. As I said, that's normally something that I completely hate, but for some reason, it worked for me in this story.

And side note, this book contains one of the absolute hottest sex scenes I've ever read. If that's one of the things that you look for in a romance book, this one has it. Chapter seven. Get on it.

Another note: superb bi rep. Rusty is bisexual and owns it, and there is very little to no bi-erasure in this story. The one or two times characters mislabeled him or dismissed his bisexuality, Rusty shut that shit down ASAP. It was awesomely refreshing. Another win was the side characters. I loved Niles' best friend, Victor. LOVED HIM. I'm not sure if we'll get his story (maybe? please?) but if we do, I'll be all over that like a fat kid on cake. And Rusty's family, his sister Jackie and niece Margo, were absolutely amazing. I was kind of meh on Rusty's ex, Todd. I see potential in him, though, so maybe this won't be the last we see of him.

I really only have two small complaints, one being the same as I had with Controlled Burn - the book is a bit too long and drags in places, namely around 50-70%. It could've been tightened up a bit, removing a couple of scenes that seemed extraneous. Secondly, we don't get to see a lot of the early relationship/friendship building on-page - it's summarized and referenced at various parts of the story, but we don't experience it, which made it a little harder for me to really feel the connection between Niles and Rusty, especially when things were so difficult for them.

Overall, this book was overwhelmingly a win for me. Erin McLellan continues to be an author to watch and I can't wait to see what she publishes next.

*Review Copy requested and reviewed on behalf of OMGReads*

I was hesitant to read this based on the early reviews but I actually liked it. It's not perfect and it didn't leave an impression like Controlled Burn did, but there's something about McLellan's voice that I find cozy.

Life on Pause is a story of one man's battle with his inner demons and trying to figure out this thing called love. There is angst. There is pain. But I still found Niles' plight to be a sympathetic one. He has low self-esteem, is an introvert and is socially awkward. His appalling self image issues are heavy handed at times and I think this would've resonated more were his backstory better developed to show causation rather than it just being a thing for the reader to accept.

Niles' issues present hurdles in his relationship with Rusty, but not all of their problems. Rusty LIES! I understand why he thought he had to because we got his perspective as well but...



He learns lying is bad and nothing good comes of it. And nothing good does come of it once Niles learns the truth.

This all makes for a long drawn out conflict that keeps them in the periphery of each other's lives. Neither are satisfied by this newfound status and both are butthurt over it, thus the job of reuniting them falls to their friends.

I tend to enjoy my romances when the couple are together more than they're apart which wasn't the case here. Once they do get their shit together they have a heartwarming HEA and I also liked Niles' personal growth. Maybe it was a little sudden but I didn't care too busy wallowing in the sap was I.

"I want every piece of you. I want every reiteration of you. I want every verse."

So I had a few niggles but as I said initially I simply like McLellan's voice. I like that she obviously put time in to research the Native American history to lend credence to this fictitious town in Oklahoma. She was also pretty generous with some smoking sexy times that included rimming, angry sex, prostate orgasm, multiple orgasms, frottage, biting and face fucking.

And Victor. I LOVED VICTOR!!!! Victor is a sassy queen and if he gets a book I will reading the stuffing out of it.

Recommend to readers who enjoy angsty reads with imperfect characters.





A review copy was provided by NetGalley.

Life on Pause was a delightful read and full of funny scenes. I really was hooked by Niles and how he was displayed as a nerdy guy, wearing accurate historical costumes and being very serious in his day job. Rusty is pretty infatuated by the guy when they first met.

I had a good laugh with this book and the way how Niles is taking his job serious, maybe sometimes too serious is not only a charming but a sweet character trait. :) I also loved Rusty's tender side in taking care of his sister's daughter and what it means to support his family. Which isn't without problems at one point in the story.

The book doesn't come without the drama and I've to say it was astonishing lots of drama in it. Maybe some might not like it but I was happy how it gave the book a few spicy moments with overcoming certain obstacles.

We get to know Rusty's ex-boyfriend Todd as well as Victor, Niles's best friend and voice of consciousness. I liked how this pairing spices the scenes even more up and how they acted with their friend and former lover each. Actually they have such a great chemistry we see them in the sequel, Life of Bliss again. And be preprared of something funny and delightful. xD

When I mention Rusty's ex it shouldn't be a surprise to hear that's he is one of those who fuels the drama and that Niles' isn't happy to have Rusty's former lovers around him.
Some scenes are full of misunderstandings and not communicating properly, feelings are hurt and insecurities hit hard. That secrets are kept isn't helping either.

I liked the balance the book had, as well as the cultural part with Niles having a Cheyenne-Arapaho heritage and holding his customs high and tries to deliver them to other towns folk and with his job. He is proud and happy to have this heritage even if it means he comes across as nerdy and a bizarre guy.

The book was a great read and I enjoyed it really much. It isn't super fluffy and light because of a few dramatic turns and twists but in the end there is the sweet HEA. 5 out of 5 stars.

Review originally posted on my blog with added content Mikku-chan / A world full of words

Reviews by the Wicked Reads Review Team

Kris – ☆☆☆☆
M/M Bi/Gay

This was a sweet and heartfelt story that I really enjoyed! The two boys meet by chance after being in a very small town with not many choices available in the gay/bi population – the worst Grindr dashboard ever! Rusty is a music teacher at the high school and he's a total hot hipster. Niles is the shy-to-the-extreme museum nerd who's very socially awkward. Niles is completely clueless, but Rusty has enough confidence for both the men. The chemistry is off the charts when Rusty goes after the shy and sweet Niles. The quiet ones are always the most fun!

Niles had deep self-esteem issues and thinks he's not worthy of love or the attention of such a handsome and confident man as Rusty. He's a runner, relationships get rough and Niles is long gone. The two have some issues working through Niles' need to keep himself walled off from love. Throw in "The Todd" who is Rusty's ex-boyfriend and current coworker, who also happens to be the town's gay golden boy (everyone loves Todd), and you have yourself some good relationship tension, some "you didn't mention you work with your ex" drama, some heartbreaking breakups, and a nice get back together! All in all, a well told story!


Angie – ☆☆☆
I really couldn't get into this book. I put it down several times and came back to it, but still nothing. It was slow, boring, and a bunch of drama that just drove me nuts. The book was soooo wordy that I skimmed a lot and it was still boring. Niles was annoying, and he treated Rusty like crap. Most of the book they weren't together, and I just found myself not caring how the story ended – I just wanted it to end. Definitely not for me, but I am sure others will love it.


Ruthie – ☆☆☆
This book is super sweet, fun, and an easy read. I did feel that they acted somewhat younger than they were. In Niles' case that made complete sense, as he was pretty sheltered (although he had been away to college), but for Rusty, it seemed a bit much at times. Whilst I got that he needed to be cautious and he wanted to keep everyone happy, it was somewhat drawn out.

I liked the premise, and some of the scenes were funny, especially when Todd and Vic were around, but overall, I was frustrated by the men. I don't have anything against crying – I do it all too often, but it became too repetitive and had so many meanings that it became meaningless for me. I admired Vic's patience, a lot.

Oh, lordy. I equal parts loved this story, and hated the endless angst in the relationship between Rusty and Niles. Having read Erin McLellan's stellar "Controlled Burn," I was gobsmacked by how much I had to push myself to finish this book!

Rusty is a music teacher in a small town in Oklahoma. He's a nice guy and likes being the support system for his sister and beloved niece who also live in town. Driving home one day, he encounters a guy in "suede and fringe and boots and a Western shirt" with a flat tire and stops to help. Part Cheyenne-Arapaho Niles is the Director of Education at the Bushyhead Homestead:

"He was too tall, too thin, and too weird. But he was a decent actor, and a good teacher, and he knew his shit. He knew how to tan a hide, and clean a deer, and churn butter, and milk a cow, and make a million different things from buffalo chips. This land was his heritage, for fuck’s sake."

Rusty becomes intrigued and enamored with skinny nerdy Niles and oh so slowly and awkwardly (emphasis on awkward), the two men become friends ... then friends-with-benefits ... and then it's an endless roller coaster of a relationship that is undermined by miscommunication, lies, low self-esteem and almost everything in-between.

Niles' sexual experience consists of sex toys and blowjobs in backseats and alleys and he's convinced Rusty is way out of his league. He's forever waiting for the other shoe to drop and Rusty to disappear. Rusty has lied to Niles about his three-year relationship with fellow teacher Todd, and hasn't mentioned that he is planning to leave town in about 8 months to move with his sister and niece.

Poor tender-hearted Niles cries (and okay, whines a lot) while Rusty tends to shut down and become distant and non-communicative. Through the entire middle part of the book, I wanted to slap these two alongside the head and scream USE YOUR WORDS. Sure, there is a lot of sexual chemistry between the two (and quite a few oh-my-gawd-that's-hot scenes), but ... c'mon.

I liked the way MacLean shows us Niles' love for his home and his family (his mother has recently died and his father is in a nursing home, having suffered a stroke and doesn't speak) and how he bears witness for the rich love they shared together. But at the end of the day, the relentless angst and miscommunication was just too much.

3.5 Stars ~

Life on Pause is Erin McLellan’s second outing for Riptide Publishing, and I actually enjoyed it even more than I did her first book, Controlled Burn, which I also liked. That’s not to say that this book is perfect—there were a few things that had me a little frustrated—but, overall, the premise was great, the characters were engaging, and the writing style was easygoing and enjoyable. There were those moments during the middle stretch, where I wanted to sort of gently thump my head on the table. But, there were also a few things that I really, really loved.

Niles Longfellow was absolutely one of the things I loved. At times, he was also one of the causes of me wanting to thump my head on the table…Buuut, I adored him. Niles loves his job at the Bushyhead Homestead in Bison Hills, Oklahoma. And he’s really great at it, too. He is totally in his element when he’s teaching a group of kids, talking about his heritage, or doing one of his demos. When he’s at work, wearing his historically accurate homesteader costume doesn’t bother him or make him feel nerdy. But, when he ends up with a flat tire on his way home, and attracts the attention of Rusty Adams, the choir director at the town’s middle and high schools, being seen in said costume is ridiculously humiliating. Rusty didn’t mind it, though! He found pretty much everything about Niles attractive.

"He probably shouldn’t imagine strangers naked—it wasn’t exactly polite—but not every queer man he met had such long legs. Or chaps."

I also liked Rusty’s character a lot. He’s sexy and fun and, like Niles, he loves his job very much. Even though working alongside his ex-boyfriend, Todd, who is his accompanist, can be weird at times, Rusty adores teaching the kids, doing the arrangements and rehearsals for the concerts, and that he gets to impact so many lives in the small town he has grown to love more than he ever thought he would. Another endearing and wonderful thing about both Niles and Rusty was how much they each loved and treasured their families. As the blurb says, Rusty moved to Bison Hills with his sister, to support her when she needed to distance herself from their parents’ disapproval, and to help her raise her daughter. Rusty pretty much thinks the sun rises and sets on his niece, Margo. I loved this line so much…

"And Margo was a girl after his own heart. She loved Johnny Cash and Ella Fitzgerald and show tunes, and he loved her like his heart would split to pieces because of her smile."

Niles is back living in his parents’ home, his childhood home, because he couldn’t stand the thought of being away from his dad after losing his mother. So, after college, he moved back in to the house so his dad wouldn’t be alone, and to make sure he took care of himself. Now, though, it’s Niles who’s alone, as he recently had to put his father in a nursing home after having suffered multiple strokes. So, still grieving his mother, and feeling less and less hopeful that his father will recover, Niles’ life is basically on pause because he is afraid to change his parents’ house, no matter how much he realizes it’s time to start making it his own. And, he really does want that…wants to make it “the type of place where a nice man might want to spend time with him.” It broke my heart how stuck he was, though.

"All his grief, his stasis, his insecurity – it built and built until it felt too big to overcome. It was like his feet were stuck in cement and he was too afraid to break free."

Niles’ insecurity was the center of the conflict in the story. And, unfortunately, was also behind the crux of the issues I had with the flow of the book as well. I get where his insecurities came from. And, I hate how people like his asshole co-worker, Denny, and his occasional nameless, faceless hookups have turned him into such an insecure mess. But, it was dragged out in the story to the point that I got really frustrated and even angry with Niles and his behavior. The story became fairly repetitive and whiney at times. In fact, both Rusty and Niles pissed me off in turn, when they each had a stint of blowing the other off and not returning phone calls or texts. In my opinion, there was a lot of drama for drama’s sake, and situations that did not need to escalate or become as dragged out as they were. It may be worth noting that this same type of issue was the reason I didn’t love McLellan’s Controlled Burn as much as I’d hoped.

All of that being said…yes, the middle dragged a bit and was somewhat repetitive, but it wasn’t to the point that I ever became so annoyed that I considered putting the book down, or just couldn’t take it anymore. There was far more that I liked about Life on Pause than didn’t, and I’d much rather talk about those things. 😊

Another absolute win, and perhaps my favorite person in the book next to Niles, was Niles’ best friend, Victor. I. Loved. Victor. He was so good to Niles, and constantly boosted him up without ever coming across like he thought Niles was pathetic in any way. He was completely amazing and outrageous, and McLellan’s characterization and descriptions of him made me want his whole story so bad. I would read a book about Victor in a heartbeat. And this line, when Victor was telling Niles he’d come help him redecorate the house, slayed:

“We’ll make your bedroom look like a Hogwarts common room and get a glass display case for your sex toys. It’ll be awesome.”

A couple of other quick thoughts…First, confident Niles, who we got to see a lot of in the last quarter of the book, was sexy as fuck. I wish we’d gotten more glimpses of him sooner than we did. Second, there is a hate-sex scene at about two-thirds of the way in, and, you guys, ohmygoddddd. It’s on fire. And, finally, the end was goooorgeously romantic, and I loved it. I swooned suuuper hard at both Niles and Rusty during the final chapter(s) and the epilogue. Incidentally, I had a musing right after I finished reading, that this author should maybe try her hand at a novella. I think she could write a really great novella-length story. I can’t help but wonder if the longer book format makes her feel like she needs to draw things out needlessly, and if the things I’ve found problematic in both of her books would have been non-issues if they weren’t allowed the space to get away from her. I dunno…Like I said, just some thoughts.

Would I recommend this one? Absolutely I would. It was original, funny, sweet, and an overall fun read. Despite my misgivings, I’m glad I read this book, and look forward to reading more of this author’s work. I so hope she writes Victor’s story!!

DNF 23%

I really tried with this book but I was not enjoying Rusty or Niles at all. Though I weirdly read Niles as demisexual but according to the tags thats not a thing with this book which is dsiappointing. This could have been interesting. I really wish Niles identified more with his native heritage but from what I read it was kind of an off hand remark. I just couldnt get into either of them especially when Rusty said he didnt vote.

So not for me but I will still check out Controlled Burn

I find it interesting that the opinions on this story are so divergent. People seemed to love it or hate it. I loved it. And many hated Niles, but I didn’t hate him at all. Why? Because I am Niles. Or Niles is me. And I totally understood his crazy psyche, his worldview, his skewed relationship perceptions, and his low self-esteem. If anything, the character I most disliked was Rusty, who’s carrying around a ton of baggage—much of it of his own making—and his biggest issue is that he needs to grow up, put on his big-boy pants, and take responsibility for his own actions—or inactions—and lies, as the case may be. So I forgive him. Maybe.

But I digress. This story centers on Niles Longfellow, twenty-something, socially inept, and a nerd. He is Director of Education at Bushyhead Homestead, an authentic Old West theme park in Bison Falls in the Midwest. He’s so into his job that he even owns authentic homesteader clothing and has been known to wear fringed shirts and leather chaps. Unfortunately, he doesn’t ride a horse to work, so when he has a flat tire on the way home and a gorgeous hipster stops to help him, his mouth and brain disengage and his inability to have a flirty conversation with the good-looking man causes him grief and self-recrimination later that day. The hipster is Rusty, and he’s captivated by Niles—by his looks, his knowledge of the history of the area, and by his overall sweetness. It’s too bad he can’t get Niles to see that now, or even later, when he finally convinces Niles to go out with him.

In his own words: “Niles wasn’t dateable. He was weird and antisocial and super inexperienced and kind of awkward. He gave good head, but Rusty didn’t know that.” There’s one push-pull situation after another throughout this story, and it becomes the perfect book for those who love angst and self-destruction. Niles self-destroys constantly because he just can’t “get” how anyone could possibly love him. He’s constantly paralyzed by fear.

Rusty destroys any chance at a long-term relationship with Niles by telling lies. He lies about his past three-year relationship with handsome fellow teacher, Todd, and he compounds that lie later by failing to tell Niles that he may move out of town when his sister and her daughter do. The only reason he’s even in Bison Falls is to be near his unwed sister and to be the rock for her to lean on for childcare and other help. Now, with her planning to move, he’s leaning toward going too, but he doesn’t want to tell Niles—ostensibly because he doesn’t want to upset him.

Niles, on the other hand, has decided to take a leap of faith and goes all-in on a gamble to have a relationship with Rusty. They’ve become friends and then lovers, and Niles is starting to get a glimpse of happiness. And then it all comes crashing down when the truth about Todd comes out. Rusty has dug himself a hole, and there’s no way out but the truth, but that comes too late to save what he’s started with Niles, who now feels betrayed and used.

I get where other readers and reviewers are coming from with their perception of Niles. No doubt about it, Niles is prickly. But the author remains true to his personality throughout the story, and I believe that all his reactions were genuine for his kind of personality—not necessarily likeable, but definitely genuine. Thankfully, his BFF, Victor, while working for a cruise line, uses video chat to keep in touch daily. Victor deserves his own book. [hint, hint]

Oops, I digress again, but Victor is awesome and a rock for Niles. He gently pokes Niles into positive self-reflection and into facing the role his own insecurities took in the relationship with Rusty. He also gets Niles to face cold hard facts about his family and about his inability to take steps to move out of his rut. But he doesn’t just chastise—he actually comes to Bison Hills to help Niles personally. And he confronts Rusty, pointing out that he’s the one who rejected more than a surface relationship with Niles. Victor is most certainly a wonderful example of friendship. It takes time but when Rusty finally owns up to his truth, he realizes that he loves Niles and wants to be with him above all else.

I highly recommend this book. If you haven’t discovered this author yet, give this a try. You won’t fall in love with either MC in this story right away. The author has certainly gone out on a limb to tell a different kind of tale, but it resonated clearly for me, and I hope it will for others as well. How they managed to stumble their way to the HEA makes for intriguing and interesting hours of reading. Thankfully, there is a resolution as the two come to terms with their own reality—first individually and then as a couple. Well worth the read!

3 Stars!

This started out strong, then quickly took a turn that had me struggling with MC's. But in the end I gave it 3 stars for the humor and for having characters that aren't model-esque. Plus I liked the MC's most of the time. You know, when I wasn't completely annoyed by them.
Man was this book full of angst. I wasn't a fan of that since it began early and lasted the majority of the book. All the unnecessary drama and angst suffering I went through was because of the MC, Niles. The man was a mess full of insecurities that left him second guessing himself and Rusty. Rusty made the mistake of keeping things to himself and telling lies. He made these choices because of Niles' insecurities. His excuse. Although true, still didn't make it right. So it is safe to say that they drove me nuts with this unnecessary drama.
The crazy thing is I still really liked them both. I loved the loyalty Rusty has to his sister and niece and how he helps Jackie to take care of Margo. I loved how much he loved his job and the kids he teaches. Niles.. I loved how quirky he was and the weird things he would say like, "Oh my mac and cheese" when he got frustrated with his bestie, Victor. He was charming and funny. He was also sad and has been through quite a bit with losing his mom and in the process of losing his dad. So even though I had my issues with the book I still enjoyed it enough.

Happy reading dolls! xx

I LOVE THIS BOOK. LOVE. The cover really doesn't tell you just how wonderful and lovely this book is, but everyone needs to go and check out this book!! We have a Native American main character and I love how he brings up his family's heritage and how his family's story is a part of the character.

The story takes place in a place called Bison Hills, Oklahoma. While Bison Hills isn't a real place, it's interesting to read books that's away from the "big" US cities and drops us off in the middle of the United States. We first meet Niles Longfellow, a nerd who's really into history and works at the local homestead museum dressed in a historically accurate costume. One day, he gets a flat tire leaving work and catches the attention of Rusty Adams. Rusty notices Niles' car and, being the good samaritan that he is, goes and helps Niles. Rusty isn't from around Bison Hills, only moving there with his sister to help her raise her daughter, and Niles decked out in his costume is definite cause to catch Rusty's eye.

Niles and Rusty bond over some adorably nerdy things. Like Firefly and Battlestar Galactica. The pretense of watching these two shows together in order to be friends in a small Oklahoma town slowly escalates into something more. But this is not just a cute book about two nerds falling in love in a small little town. Oh no. This is a story that will wrench your heart out and make you feel all the feels.

Niles is a bit of a homebody. His mother passed away years before and his father is in a nursing home after a series of strokes left him in a deteriorating condition. He can't speak, move, or interact with Niles when he goes and visits. Niles didn't want others to see his father this way, so after dissuading the guys at his dad's Tire Shop from visiting, there's really no one left in Niles life to care for and visit his father. Every visit Niles has with his father just kills me. Niles has nothing but nice things to say about his parents and he has the most heartfelt stories about his parents and their meet-cute (how his parents first met).

One day, he'd look around and only see missed chances...That realization should have motivated him to make a change or take a chance, but all it did was paralyze him with fear.


Niles’ life is kind of lonely. He gets bullied at work, and he still lives in his childhood home, unsure of what to do with the house even though it's unlikely that his father will ever move back in. His best friend works on a cruise ship, so they do speak on FaceTime, but Niles doesn't have anyone in Bison Hills. His own insecurities are a wall around him that threatens to crumble at the lightest touch and he's terrified of jumping into things with Rusty.

Rusty is the choral director at the town's middle school and he works alongside his ex every single day. The ex is the choir's piano accompanist named Todd. And Todd is the town's golden boy. He was the star of the high school football team and went to school with Niles. He is attractive and confident, and everything that Niles thinks he himself is not. Rusty is attracted to Niles, but he doesn't want to jump into anything with Niles when it's probably best for them to stay friends who watch cancelled sci-fi shows together.

I really like how three things in particular were handled in this book. First, Niles immediately corrects his friend Victor when Victor makes a statement that Niles's father's Native American regalia is a costume Niles could wear to work. Niles clearly and strongly tells Victor why regalia and a costume are two very different things and shouldn't be trivialized. Second, Rusty is bisexual and Rusty lets Niles know right off that he's bisexual and not gay (when Niles gets it wrong). It's made out to not be a big deal in the book, and Rusty points out all the stereotypes about bisexuality in media that are wrong. And lastly, there's CONSENT in this book. Like, they would check-in on one another (or really Rusty checking-in on Niles) during sex and asking for consent even if Niles had given Rusty a 'yes' previously. I LOVE BOOKS WITH CONSENT. <3

Niles and Rusty have some very steamy scenes together (Niles has so many sex toys), but the hurdle in their relationship is primarily about Niles insecurities. Rusty has his own faults as well by feeding into Niles insecurities. The ending where we see that flip in Niles was a bit rushed, I think? I love the characters, but I guess I just don't quite get where the sudden confidence came from.

The next book is going to be fun. We were introduced to the next couple in this book and I think they'll have an electric chemistry underneath all that hostility. This is only the author's second book, and I am blown away by how much I loved this book. Be sure to check out the author's debut story in her other series called Controlled Burn!

***Thanks to Riptide Publishing for providing me an ARC on NetGalley***

After Erin McLellan's stellar debut novel, Controlled Burn, I was excited to read another title by her. But, wow, did this title fall short for me. I'm a sucker for nerds falling in love but the over abundance of woe-is-me drama from Niles got repetitive and boring before I was even 30% through the book. I finished it but barely. I'd love to see a story featuring Victor.

My gut reaction when I finished Life on Pause: Oh… I wanted to shake some sense into both of these young men by the end of Life on Pause… luckily they had really good friends. 😉 Yeah, that pretty much sums it up, but I suppose you want more right? *sigh*

I was in awe when I finished Erin McLellan’s first book, Controlled Burn. I loved the characters and their story and I couldn’t wait to see what readers would see from this talented new author. I wasn’t quite as enamored with Niles and Rusty, mainly because I spent most of their story being aggravated with them. Niles berated himself so much that he couldn’t fathom why someone like Rusty would ever be interested in him. He actually ended up sabotaging their relationship before it even got started. What made things worse was that Niles knew how he felt, he knew he had no self esteem, so to keep Niles from worrying unnecessarily, he hid some pretty big facts from him. I don’t even have to spoil anything for you to figure out how well things went between these two do I? And this is where the really good friends come in. 😉

So yeah, these guys aggravated me in a big way, but they had people who cared about them and could see past their faults. They also saw how much they were hurting themselves by hurting each other. Niles didn’t know how to be loved and Rusty didn’t want to get hurt so he thought he was better off walking away. All I can say is that it’s a good thing that we got both Rusty and Niles’ POV in Life on Pause or I would have given up all hope on both of them.

You’ve probably already guessed that I fell in love with some of the supporting characters. Rusty’s ex Todd grew on me, especially near the end of Life on Pause. Niles’ best friend Victor… I kinda loved him from the very first video chat. I really liked Rusty’s sister and niece too. Without these characters, who gave readers another perspective on both Rusty and Niles, I probably wouldn’t have ended up liking Life on Pause as much as I did. In case you hadn’t guessed, I’m kinda not so secretly hoping that readers eventually get more from Victor and Todd. Maybe not together (which given their semi-tolerant relationship would be loads of fun) but finding an HEA for one or both of them would be awesome, just sayin’.

A lot of books boast about having the most awkward character ever, but they're wrong because Niles is the reigning king of awkward and I don’t think he'll ever be dethroned. Compared to Niles, Rusty is mostly normal but still incredibly sweet. Both Niles and Rusty are frankly bad at relationships. They have their meet cute and decide to try to be friends even though they both want more. Thus begins the long and awkward process of these two getting their HEA.

Its sweet, awkward, funny and full of delicious angst. I really was wondering how they would get to that HEA and for a while I was worried they wouldn’t. But even when Niles and Rusty aren’t together, the supporting characters bring more of the laughs and sweetness. Victor and the Todd should definitely get together because they clearly were made for each other. They also deserve it after being such good friends and helping Rusty and Niles end up together.

I also have to say that this was one of the sexiest books I’ve read in a while and not because of the action per se, although that is hot, but more so because you can really feel the character’s emotions and know that this is how they’re expressing their love for each other.

I highly recommend this as a quick read that will pull on your heart strings and make you want to root for Niles and Rusty’s awkward love story.

This is a sweet, easy read about nerdy Niles, who has lived in the same town all his life. He works at a living history center, lives in the house he grew up in. He meets Rusty, newly single high school music teacher who is helping his singe-mother sister to raise her daughter.

You can totally see the turns in the story arc coming: Niles' insecurity and Rusty withholding the truth leading to a break-up, the possibility that Rusty will leave town. However, there is something fresh and sweet about the characters, especially Niles. He's trying to make sense of his father's incapacity, his mother's death, his place in his community without his parents. Ultimately, it's Niles - shy, nerdy Niles, who feels like he's not cool or interesting enough for Rusty - who makes this book stand out.

4.5 Stars

Niles is having a horrible day: One of his co-workers upset him to the point of near tears and he forgot his street clothes at home, so now he is forced to drive home in his pioneer uniform he wears for the museum he works at. What else could go wrong? Oh, yes, he gets a flat-tire as he is almost home and of course, a hunk stops to help him!

I absolutely loved Niles. He was quirky and sweet and awkward. He felt innocent and a little naive, but Niles’ lack of self esteem and confidence and his feeling that he wasn’t good enough for anything besides a good time for men who treated him like crap was heartbreaking, but watching him grow and gain confidence was amazing.

I liked Rusty, but in some ways I felt he should have been more patient with Niles. Niles tells him he’s never had a boyfriend before and over the course of their friendship/courtship, he also lets on to just how inexperienced he is, and I just wanted to smack Rusty for the way he treated Niles at times.

Really, what I wanted to do was take them both and knock their heads together. While both men were hurting, they were also both stubborn and neither was willing to give an inch. I seriously wondered if they would ever get it all together or if there was any hope for them as a couple.

I loved the story and the backdrop. I thought Niles’ job at the museum was interesting and listening to him tell his stories was fascinating and entertaining.

The chemistry between Niles and Rusty was undeniable and the sex, omg, there are only a couple of scenes but it was beyond hot.

While I didn’t always like Todd, Rusty’s ex, he and Niles’ bestie, Victor, were interesting secondary characters that I think have a story to tell. Hmm..maybe even together? I love a good enemies to lovers story!

All in all, this was a sweet, angsty and a bit of a sexy story. It was well-written and easy to read. Very enjoyable and recommendable!

*copy provided by author/publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

DNF - this didn't work for me as I wasn't a fan of the MCs.