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As someone very involved in the adoption community, I thought this was very accurate in terms of the trauma of adoption and the reality of it.

Confessions of an Adoptive Parent was very eye opening into the world of adoption and all that goes into this lifetime commitment. Great resource and encouragement for adoptive parents and anyone considering adoption.

This no holds barred memoir is the Berry's fostering and adoption odyssey. Why such honesty one might ask? Berry does himself no favours baring his heart to his readers. It appears that some of life's lessons can only be learnt experientially... This is particularly true of those rather messy, agonising, unrewarding, soul destroying, painful (Berry's words not mine) experiences on their epic journey. Though there were no laugh aloud moments, there were plenty of reminiscent smiles as one could identify with their aah moments and their gut wrenching letdowns. One gains valuable insight into not merely the monetary cost but also the huge emotional cost of fostering and adoption. Then there is the age-old question of why bring an outsider into ones home? In bravely sharing their epiphanical journey, Berry attempts to throw light on these and numerous other issues surrounding fostering and adoption. One cannot help but truly appreciate and understand the fostering-adoption journey. Furthermore, it serves as a splendid effort at garnering support for fostering. Indeed Berry gives adoption and fostering a whole new meaning. Yet there is more much more to this heartfelt memoir - a red thread running throughout his tale. One leaves it to Berry to enlighten his reader as he does a darn good job of it. Written by a Christian and from a Christian perspective he quotes liberally from the Lords Word. This may throw off non-Christian readers, which is a shame. For it is a valuable weapon a.k.a book in one's battles to ensure victory. Non-Christians should approach Berry's memoir much as if they would other non-fictional works that profusely quote from other philosophies without a second thought and read the text likewise for inspiration. Furthermore though written for those considering adoption and fostering this book will inspire anyone engaged in life's difficult battles. Like a shining beacon to ship wrecked souls tossed on the travails of life, a rope thrown out for the straggler at the end of their strength to grasp thus enabling one to renew, refresh, and encourage them on their onward journey that they may continue the fight with renewed vigour.

Confessions of an Adoptive Parent is an ideal book for Christian adoptive parents who have found themselves, and maybe their faith, battered by the demands of parenting their children and fighting to get the support they need. Mike Berry writes as someone who lives it all too, knows how soul-destroying it can be, and has some tried and tested survival strategies to share. I had laughed and cried with recognition at the stories being shared within the first three pages. It is so authentic and raw and heartfelt that I loved it immediately.

WHO IS MIKE BERRY?

I was already familiar with Mike Berry because of his podcast of the same name (which you can find here), but for those who have not come across him before, Confessions of an Adoptive Parent starts by setting out the author’s credentials.

As the adoptive parent of eight (EIGHT!) children, he has plenty of experience of all that traumatised children and The System can throw at us: violence, visits from the police, unplanned pregnancies, issues with drugs and alcohol, children choosing abusive partners, children needing to live elsewhere – you name it, his family have been through it. He is no stranger to the sleepiness night of despair. I was really glad that he made this clear, because it lends so much weight to the authenticity of his message when he turns to talking about finding hope.

SURVIVAL STRATEGIES

The second half of the book is about survival strategies: finding genuine support, seeing the bigger picture when things are overwhelming, protecting marriages, and making sure we have others around us to point us in the right direction emotionally and spiritually, so that we can keep going through the really hard stuff.

FAITH

The book is written from a Christian faith perspective. I didn’t find it preachy, but there is certainly some overtly Christian content: just a heads-up if that’s not your thing. If you are involved with a church, it would be a great introduction to the challenges of adoption and fostering for the pastoral care team.

SUPPORT

One of my favourite sections in the book has also featured on the Confessions of an Adoptive Parent podcast (which you can find here). It’s about how to ‘interview’ someone for the position of support network member, by gradually releasing information about your family like layers of an onion and seeing how they respond.

I read the book on Kindle in about three hours: it’s an engaging, relatable read that translates really well to the UK context (Mike and Kristin adopted from the US foster care system, which means they face many of the same issues that we do here). I recommend it wholeheartedly and will be buying a few copies to place strategically in the hands of friends and family. If you’d like to get hold of it, you can find it here.

A journey of hardship and love, inspiring hope and encouragement for those seeking real-world, hands-on experience of foster to adoption. Highly recommended.

I just want to say that like most adoption books this one has a very Christian focus. As a non-Christian I find this slightly annoying and wish that there was something in the description that pointed out that it would be religious. I have read a LOT of adoption books and almost all have been for Christians though, so it's not that this book is different in that aspect but I feel like I would have appreciated this book more if it was non-religious.

That being said I felt like this book had a lot to offer all adoptive parents. I am just starting on this journey but it provided me with some insight for some challenges I might encounter once my daughter is home as well as some tips to help overcome some obstacles. The overwhelming message from this book that I got was that you are not alone. There are many other parents out there that are struggling with the same issues and it's important to have support and not be afraid to ask for help. As a single mom to be this book has definitely made me realize that I need to start building some supports now. Although I belong to many online adoption communities I do not know people in person that are adopting or recently adopted. This book has also helped me understand the importance of reaching out for help if I do need it instead of just letting myself drown. I have already taken the leap into adoption, I have many people on the shore cheering me on, but I need to start building the community of people who are already in the water or are able to come into the wreckage when I need support. Overall, Confessions of an Adoptive Parent is a great read for those just starting their journey to adoption (or foster care) or for those already in the thick of things and needing some support.

*Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Mike and his wife, Kristin, adopted their first child (who was a new born baby) through American domestic system and then in nine years the family of three had become a family of ten! 😁
Unlike a lot of couples, they did not try for their own children first, they always wanted to adopt children rather than have birth children. They believed it was their calling.
Two years after adopting their first(2002)they became foster parents for two siblings who’s mother had requested they be placed with their family (finalising their adoption in 2008).
The family’s experiences have not all been plain sailing and some of the children have been badly affected by Foetal Alcohol Syndrome or their upbringing before they were removed from the care of their birth families. This has resulted in some of the children coming into contact with the law, suffering severe depression at the age of 11, suffering attachment issues, problems at school, having to live away from home and Mike and his wife becoming grandparents in their early 30s.
How could there be hope in the circumstances? The author says, “A child’s journey isn’t finished” Mike points out his journey wasn’t at seven, eight, or 13 and his children’s isn’t either.” So far so good... Then Mike says his family is held together by, “a loving Saviour who will never let go of us. When we’re tossed about in a desperate hurricane and we’re feeling hopeless, Jesus shows up.” Mike continues, “Jesus is the hope of the world. And He’s the only one who can put the broken pieces of your family back together and bring healing and restoration to your hurting children.”
But what if one doesn’t believe in Jesus? Where does one get one’s hope from then?
Mike says as well as having hope,(from Jesus), another thing that helps is to know there is someone else in the same position. Mike said he is there for us, standing beside us. Also to join support groups for other adopters and foster carers. I agree this is great advice. Just knowing someone else in the same position as you can help enormously.
The third thing Mike says is to have a great support network. Who can argue with that?
My main issue with the book, is for such a short book (224 pages) it is very repetitive. I felt that I had read the same message over and over again. This is a shame as Mike and Kristin have clearly done a great job with bringing up eight children and I am sure this book could have been a lot better maybe with a stricter editor.

My husband and I have been considering foster to adopt, but had no idea where to begin. This book was really helpful and gave great advice for us to use if we decide to pursue this option.

Confession of an adoptive parent: Hope and Help from the Trenches of Foster Care and Adoption by Mike Berry published by Harvest House Publishers is a very good and interesting christian book about adoption a modality of giving and receiving love from a kid not biologically created by a couple.

Why adopting?
It is common to think that in general sterile couples experience the biggest joy of this Earth, the one of maternity and paternity adopting one or more kids. It's a great adventure to growing up babies, educating them and trying to give as much love as possible to them for creating future men and women to go proud of.

Story can be this one of course, but always more often other typologies of couples adopt: there are ladies "scared" of the changes of their bodies while pregnant, other ones who simply don't want to experience maternity. They don't feel that this is an important experience in their life as in the case of the author's wife.

Other couples have other biological children but they want to continue to give love and more love because they're plenty of love to sharing with and for other children. Reasons are endless. Surely there is a main reason: the one of giving and receiving love.

In general kids arriving in a family didn't live a great life previously.

Maybe they were in an orphanage, maybe in a foster family.
Their life didn't start at all very well. They need all the possible love from the new parents. Some of them can be sick, other ones maybe met along their path violence of various genre.
These children must be loved and helped to sort out their difficulties, for living the rest of their life in the best possible way.

Enjoy this book and enjoy the long trip for adopting a kid because there is not any other more wonderful act than this one: taking care of an abandoned little soul all alone in this world.

I thank NetGalley for this ebook.

I enjoyed reading this book. It helped me be better prepared for adoption and the possibility of fostering. I love how real and honest it was. I would definitely recommend this book.

I am definitely looking forward to reading this book. I’m a soon-to-be adoptive mama (our baby boy is due in a matter of days) and I’m looking to glean any wisdom I can. However, the formatting of the current eBook is not reader-friendly and makes it difficult to navigate the book. I do plan on buying the book upon its release though.

Today so many people talk about overpopulation and preference of adoption or foster care but not many go into details of the challenges that adoptive parents face. Mike Berry offers his very candid and at times raw personal experience, and no, it is not a book of complaints, but rather a ray of hope for exhaustion and desperation. Adoptive parents are human too, they are not supermen, and at times issues that foster kids bring can break anyone. It was very eye opening to read about some of the problems and struggles this family went through. I would say this book is a MUST read for anyone who is thinking about adoption and foster care or in the middle of it, it is a great resource and encouragement.