First published by TriQuarterly Press (Northwestern U.) in 2015; published by Scribner on May 15, 2018

The wry, low-key humor in Pretend I’m Dead keeps Mona’s isolation and sadness from overwhelming the reader. Mona is 24 and living in Lowell, working as a cleaning lady and volunteering in a needle exchange program because her guardian, Sheila, impressed upon her the need for service. Mona sees dirt everywhere and loves to clean, presumably a metaphor for her desire to clean up her life. Mona’s need for a guardian can be traced to less than ideal parenting, the disturbing nature of which the novel eventually reveals.

Mona fantasizes about a 44-year-old junky she secretly names Mr. Disgusting, because his clothes are dirty. When they actually go out together, after he gets out of rehab, they develop an instant rapport. He has a gentle charm and an agile, well-informed mind. Mona becomes attached to Disgusting because: “Like cancer, he had a way of trivializing the other aspects of her life.”

Following Disgusting’s pre-relapse advice, Mona moves to Taos. Much of the novel’s humor after that point centers on the people she meets. The insufferably smug couple who live in an adjoining townhouse (she thinks of them as Yoko and Yoko) want to be Mona’s mentors, to teach her how to become her best self. They are walking self-help books with a zen slant. When Mona finally finds customers who need a cleaner, they have their own peculiarities. One collects angels; she suspects another of having an incestuous relationship with his daughter. One customer seems to have an asshole fixation; another is a psychic who can’t stop confessing to evil thoughts and deeds. Mona doesn’t know how to react to the surprises she encounters, and for the most part, doesn’t — a good choice, since when she does react, her reaction is inappropriate.

Mona’s behavior might be explained by her unconventional and somewhat disturbing childhood, memories of which are occasionally triggered by people in her present. Her memories, however, tend to merge into fantasies and may not be all that reliable. The fact that she thought her dolls were spying on her suggests that Mona’s mental health issues are longstanding. On the other hand, a spiritualist whose home Mona cleans either has psychic powers or makes very good guesses about Mona’s past. Ambiguity is one of the novel’s charms; Jen Beagin lets you believe what you want.

Mona’s sense of humor is askew, maybe to the point of being warped. She isn’t the kind of person, or character, everyone would like, but readers who relish the offbeat in characters and acquaintances might fall a little in love with Mona. Her story is alternately sad and very funny. She might be maladjusted, but who isn’t? Mona doesn’t connect with a lot of people (and given the people she meets, that’s not surprising), but she has cultivated the ability to trust people, even people who would be judged untrustworthy by others. She might sometimes pretend to be dead (at least 412 times, judging from the pictures she's taken), but she’s still living, and the novel offers the hope, easily shared by the reader, that her life might one day be better. If you’re looking for a novel that’s a little strange, a little sad, often funny, and ultimately life-affirming, you might want to give Pretend I’m Dead a try.

RECOMMENDED

I'm drawn to weird characters and Mona is...exactly that. When a story opens with a woman, handing out clean needles to drug addicts....and the woman falls in love with one of the addicts, it promises to be an adventure.

Heartbroken, Mona travels to Taos, New Mexico and finds a community to New Age, slightly weird characters. Mona continues to wander through life - dealing with things the way a normal 20something does.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book.

At times funny and all so relatable in your real life. Aren't we all trying to figure out who we are and where we are going? And trust me a lot of the time the results are not pretty but I really really enjoyed this book and empathized with Mona so yes definitely pre order this book and be prepared to be enchanted.

While I could not relate to Mona- at all- I did find this to be an interesting read, in part because I've encountered women like her and wondered about them. Beagin has an interesting style and she's created a memorable character. This is short and a quick read. Thanks to the publisher for the ARC. Try this for a view of a 20-something "slacker" with a lot of issues who is trying to push ahead.

Ok so basically Mona, main character of Pretend I’m Dead, is me. If Mona were from England or France that is. Well she’s a lot me, some parts are someone else. But all that to basically say that I GET Mona. She’s someone I would have been BFF with back in my 20’s.

Pretend I’m Dead by Jen Beagin is a quirky, funny, and kind of sad at times novel, about Mona, a 24 year old who cleans houses for a living. Mona’s parents kind of abandoned her with an aunt in her teens, and she has some serious childhood issues she needs to process. Mona also has a tendency to fall for the wrong type of guy and get her heart broken. After her junkie boyfriend disappears and breaks her heart she leaves her life in Massachusetts behind and moves into a casita in New Mexico, as a way to make a new beginning for herself. Along the way she meets some equally quirky bit endearing characters such as the two Yokos and Betty.

Mona is weird, and funny, and super smart: you can’t help but like her and even get her and why she does what she does. I cleaned houses and hotel rooms off and on for years and always got the looks Mona did... But even today I would rather do that than work for a corporation.

Jen Beagin does a great job with all of the characters in the book, they are all very likeable despite being totally weird. I really recommend this book, Jen Beagin’s prose is brilliant and her knack for developing a great plot is great.

Pretend I’m Dead will be published by Scribner on May 15th. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance copy!

When I first heard about Pretend I’m Dead, it seemed like it would be a comedic story about a young white woman who willingly cleaned homes as a career and all of the characters she met along the way. That doesn’t describe the contents of this novel at all. Mona is a sarcastic, rough around the edges twenty-four year old who doesn’t have a relationship with either parent, her aunt Sheila has recently moved to Florida, she has no friends, but only a couple of strange acquaintances who don’t bring out the best in her and have their own issues. Definitely not what I expected.

Sorry,” he said. “I’ve made you uncomfortable with my creepy honesty.” He shook his head again.

“Not at all,” she said. “I’m actually a fan of creepy honesty.”

Mona is in her early twenties, minus all the bright-eyed ambition she’s ‘supposed’ to be filled with. When she isn’t cleaning houses she is handing out clean needles to drug addicts and falling hard for one, a man she calls ‘Mr. Disgusting’ Sharing an elevator in his building with a couple of crackheads should be enough to deter her, but instead she feels like a gift sent down just for him. Of course the ‘older and wiser’ in us thinks, no Mona- what are you doing?! Wayward child! But everyone must be free to make their own mistakes. He has a lot to teach her, full of his own ancient pain, their time together is raw and when it comes to its dramatic conclusion, his vision of her in Taos is the push she needs to head there.

In New Mexico she meets a New Age couple she calls Yoko and Yoko, as they welcome her into their lives she is surrounded by wisdom, healing energy and a lot of passionate hunger in their eyes, or is she reading the signs wrong? Being around both Nigel and Shiori (Yoko and Yoko) and listening to their stories gives rise to her own childhood memories and family. Her father, a man she long ago tried to close off out of her life, is in her head again. Mona finds work again as a cleaner, and among her clients are a woman who collects angels, a ‘supposed’ psychic in a trailer and a single father with a teen daughter she snoops around, confusing everything until she is sure he is guilty of all perverse acts.

Through it all, she is strangely inspired to make an effort, to join the world of the living, to get off her belly and stop feeling sorry for herself. In the beginning Mona is dangerously adrift, too ready to let another lead her, and it’s lucky for her that Mr. Disgusting’s vision of where she belongs forces her on an inner journey of sorts. The characters are all interesting and fun, they are the kind of people who give you pause, who seem so incredibly out there, and yet make more sense than ‘practical folks.’ The sort of people who come into a life just when they are needed most, there is hope. Maybe Mona isn’t doomed to drift through her entire life, after all.

This is a book for the young as much as the old. For the disaffected and the harmonious, for the sarcastic and the courtesy, the healthy and the wounded… okay, okay… just add it to your summer reading list!

Publication Date: May 18, 2018

Scribner

Jen Beagin’s screwed-up, lovable, maddening narrator, Mona, is an entirely original voice, and her journey of inadvertent and hard-earned self-discovery and growth will captivate you. An impressive debut.