As always, Clay and Sally together have written a wonderful, practical and encouraging book on parenting! I loved having both "mom" and "dad" perspectives and enjoyed the many personal anecdotes and memories from their early parenting years, I appreciate how their teaching is always so strongly Biblically based and loved that this book is filled with Scripture.
*I received a free digital copy of this book through Netgalley in exchange for my honest review

excellent book for any Christian parent, especially those who homeschool Unique perspective, lessons in patience and love. great, uplifting read.

<i>No matter what your family looks like, what you've done or where you've come from, or where you are in life right now, you can become a lifegiving parent."</i>

I loved the principles throughout this book. It was exactly what I needed right now in my parenting journey. I needed to remember and relearn how to parent from grace and not frustration or anger. I needed to remember the gift and reward that parenting is. The Clarkson's do a beautiful job at reminding us parents what our job is...to raise godly, strong, independent adults and how to help, guide and shape them to their purpose, calling and passion.

What I loved was that it wasn't a book about discipline--they never directly talked about being pro or against spanking or such. It is about nurturing and shaping your child. I loved how everything was so grace-based--not letting the child get away with poor behavior but shaping them and directing them toward the better behavior.

In fact, Clay even directly addressed one of my major issues with so many other Christian parenting books when he said, "While statistics can legitimately tell a story that engages our minds and hearts, they can also be misused to generate a crisis that we need to fear." So many other Christians books quote the stats of kids who are growing up without such discipline or whatever...but usually those books are full of fear-mongering. And that angers me.

But I loved that this book never once pointed toward the fear that I'm sure all parents face--getting it wrong and screwing up our kids. Not this book. It encouraged and even gave many practical examples of how they did it (and all of their kids are thriving, creative and passionate adults).

Granted, I will acknowledge that some of the ideas were a little too pie in the sky for me. I'm not a fan of some of their creative ideas. And I do let my kids play on screens far more than he advises. But I'm okay with that. They time with other things far outweighs their time with screens.

Anyway, all in all, this is a FABULOUS book that I will go to again and again. Especially the appendixes where he includes a child-friendly version of the Myers-Briggs personality test to better understand your child. And he includes "Our 24 Family Ways." I love that they use the term "Ways" instead of "Rules" to create a more grace-filled approach. Same thing with the term "Shaping" their child's will through influence instead of controlling their behavior through punishment. What a mindset change it creates...and I LOVE it. I've already started implementing so many of these parent-tools, and I feel more at peace with myself as a mom and with my kids. And their behavior and hearts have already started to open up to me even more. Highly Recommend!

I think I expected too much of this book - I was raised very similarly to the Clarkson kids so this information was all things I already knew. They preface that the book is not a list based "how to" book but I still wished it was. It is very biblically based and would be excellent for someone who is maybe a parent and a new Believer or maybe wasn't raised in a Christian home. I appreciate the Clarkson's ministry but this book wasn't all I hoped it would be. Would probably resonate much more with other readers! Still well written!

Children are God's gift to parents. Lifegiving is a two-way path. Whether it is the struggle through challenges, enigma of choices; joy of chuckles; or grappling with changes; parents will always be parents, albeit, evolving roles. What is Christian parenting? How can parents continue their role of giving life after each growth phase? Is Christian parenting more than simply giving faith? Having written books and given conferences to Christian mothers, author Sally Clarkson has teamed up with her husband Clay to provide answers to both sets of parents. This third book in the "Life giving" trilogy addresses parents and shows us what it means to be lifegiving parents. In a nutshell, lifegiving parenting is not just about giving children the faith in Christ but giving the life of Christ. Sharing their personal stories of parenting amid tumultuous career and personal upheavals, they tie in their faith victories with powerful parenting lessons of wisdom. These lessons are marinated with both successes and failures. The key theme of this book is that parenting is less about what we do and more about who we are. That is why the authors spend the bulk of the book talking about the eight "heartbeats of parental lifegiving." The logic is simple. We parent out of who we are.

The first heartbeat is about "numbering your child's days." Oddly titled, it is essentially about the crucial ten-year period of a child. Knowing the limited timeframe helps us plan our priorities accordingly. This is particularly helpful for those of us who are perpetually busy and frequently multi-tasking everything instead of prioritizing the key important items. The second heartbeat is about nurturing, not exasperating. It is about "discipline and instruction, training and admonition." The third heartbeat helps the child to guard his/her heart, to help set direction instead of the destination. It also means setting boundaries that protect them. The fourth heartbeat is about renewing the child's mind even as they get ready to engage the world at large. The home is the best school for kids. This heartbeat is essential to equip the child to see the world from God's perspective. The fifth heartbeat aims to strengthen the child's faith in actively believing. In fact, it is not just about believing. It is about believing that in Jesus, everything changes for the better. The sixth heartbeat shapes the child's will from self to God's. The seventh and eighth heartbeats are about character building and imagination respectively. Clay and Sally end the book with a clarion reminder toward four priorities:

Know ourselves as a parent
Know our child as good
Know that God is faithful
Know that our times belong to God.

My Thoughts
==============
There is no doubt that society is rapidly changing, demanding the ways we parent adapt to these changes. Christian parents have a responsibility to parent with godly wisdom and biblical guidance. At the same time, they need help with regard to sharpening the parenting focus. Three things strike me.

First, there is the sense of purpose in the parenting curriculum. Beginning with an awareness of a limited timeframe for parenting, each heartbeat builds upon the previous to help parents keep a systematic framework in their parenting effort. There is a gradual shift from teaching to showing; from telling to guiding; and from protecting to enabling. I appreciate the part about belief instilled from a young age. In our society, it is easy to be lukewarm about everything to the point of conviction about nothing. Such a mood reflects a society torn apart by false secular ideals and flawed sense of inclusiveness. We need to teach our children to be bold in their belief and not be easily swayed by the shifting mindstorms everywhere. Conviction is not something parents can instil but it is definitely something that parents could begin with themselves.

Second, the authors have many resources that readers can take advantage of. There are books, weblinks, Whole Heart Ministy resources, and their workshops. Parents will need all the help they could get and the Clarksons definitely gift us with a conveniently packed materials rolled into one book. More could be found at wholeheart.org.

Third, be patient. Even the ten-year nurturing timeline need to be adapted according to the child's uniqueness. Parents will always be parents. Physiologically, children will grow up faster than we may mentally comprehend but there is always a need for spiritual guidance. Patience is a virtue that will not be chained by time.

Clay Clarkson is executive director of Whole Heart Ministries which he founded in 1994 with his wife Sally. He is also a singer, songwriter, worship leader, and storyteller. Sally Clarkson mothers four grown children and is a popular speaker at conferences.

Rating: 4.75 stars of 5.

conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of Tyndale House Publishers and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

I have been a fan of Sally Clarkson since Desperate: Hope for the Mom who Needs to Breathe. So when I had the opportunity to review this book, I quickly downloaded and began reading. In 10 short chapters, Sally and Clay Clarkson share some great pointers on how to not only create a home where children feel loved, but where they experience God's love as well.

I love that this book is written to parents in general, rather than just moms. So many parenting books direct all their advice to moms who already feel the pressure of parenting on their shoulders. There is a woeful lack of parenting books directed towards fathers. While this isn't specific for dads, Clay Clarkson's input definitely makes this a book that stresses the truth that it takes BOTH parents to create a home that gives children a view of the Biblical concept of an abundant life.

This book is a reminder that, "Lifegiving parenting is not about changing the culture we live in but about being a counter-culture to it." It isn't our responsibility to shelter our children from the world and isolate them, but to prepare them to live a spiritually abundant life in the culture in which we live, without compromising God's truths. Clay and Sally lay out the wisdom they have gained from raising their 4 children in the hopes that it will help you and I to accomplish this.

As I flipped the last page in this book, I felt even more excited to parent my kids than when I started. That’s why I’m recommending it to every parent I know! Lifegiving Parent focuses more on “the heartbeats” of parenting than on the practical how-tos.

Read this book, and I promise you will feel challenged and encouraged in the ways you’ve been raising your kids!

I’ve always appreciated the writings of Sally Clarkson, and this is the first time I’ve read anything by her husband. This is a joint effort book, Clay writing the majority of the text, and Sally providing practical insight to the teaching text, as well as relaying stories from their parenting experience to further illustrate Clay’s point.
This book really is about nurturing and cultivating a heart for Jesus in your children. It examines the development of character, nurturing and guarding their hearts, strengthening their faith and training their wills (it’s not about “breaking the will” as so many parenting books have discussed before, but directing the will for good and for God’s glory).
Yes, this is a book about your children but the Clarksons are quick to point out that none of this will work if you, as the parent, don’t live out these principles in your own life, and if you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus. There’s encouragement to follow God, and to begin teaching about God from infancy (as illustrated through the life of Timothy).
There is an easy manner in the main text of each chapter. It feels more conversational and it’s easy to digest, though there are several points within each chapter that could take hours to ingest fully.
There’s a lot of practical advice given in applying the various “heartbeats” of a life-giving parent (life-giving – living intentionally for Christ, showing your children the importance of recognizing God as the living and true God, and helping them to develop a personal relationship with Him), as well as charts and extra resources included on the end pages.
This will definitely become one of my “go-to” parenting-advice books as I seek to help my own children develop their relationships with God.
I received an advanced ebook from the publisher through NetGalley. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.

The Lifegiving Parent was the perfect read for me in the stage of having little ones. I really appreciated the wisdom that Clay and Sally shared. It felt like I was having coffee with them and they were imparting all of their wisdom in child raising with me.

There are a ton of great parenting books out there and I would include this one in this list. They include some practical tips but more than anything it’s a vision for being a Lifegiving parent. That is a vision I want for my own life. If that is you as well, I recommend this book.