A beautiful and touching story about depression. The magical realism is well done and seamless. I enjoyed the smoke uncovering them family history and memories.

It really is a fantastic look at grief, mourning, mental illness, family, and identity. I hurt after reading this,

Freaking LOVED this! I ended up purchasing a copy when it came out. I read this and voted for this as part of the Indigo Teen SPOTM decision group. (Sadly it didn't win.)

this is without a doubt one of the best books i have ever read. it's one of my favourites of all time and i will never get over how beautiful the language is, the way the words flow, and how poignant the emotions are. i'll always love this book

I absolutely loved The Astonishing Color of After. It was one of my favorite books of 2018, and it deserved even more recognition than it got. I'm looking forward to rereading it someday, because I'm sure it will be just as magical the second time around.

This book deals with the feelings involved for family members left behind after a suicide, and it does a wonderful job exploring those emotions. I appreciated the Taiwan setting and the beliefs and customs that are highlighted, but I had a hard time with the disjointed storytelling (much of the story is told in memory flashbacks), so I never quite connected with the characters. Still, the writing is beautiful, and the book tackles an important topic that has touched many people.

***Disclosure: I received this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. No other compensation was given and all opinions are my own.***

This book was one of my most anticipated for 2018. I have read it 3 times since it came out along with 1 time before with this eARC. I still can't manage to find the words to express my feelings about this book adequately. I have sat down so many times to try and write this review but felt like I never did the book justice. The Astonishing Color of After is about so many things but the main two are mental health and culture. Getting to go on this beautiful and heartbreaking journey with Leigh was an honor and even though, yes, she is a completely fictional character, I truly hope in her fictional world she has an amazing life

I gave The Astonishing Color of After a shout on the Barnes and Noble Teen Blog! https://www.barnesandnoble.com/blog/teen/6-novels-to-read-while-waiting-for-courtney-summers-sadie-to-hit-shelves/

There aren't many books that have characters of Taiwanese descent or that are set in Taiwan. When I came across The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X. R. Pan, it was the setting that intrigued me most.

Most books about a vacation abroad are light and fluffy, but this book is very much a pensive one. It switches between the memories of the protagonist Leigh's past and the occurrences taking place after her mother's suicide. This is not an ice-cream-and-peaches summer adventure, but you do get to learn about the culture, language, and especially the food of Taiwan. It's those details and the imagery that make it feel so authentic.

Reading reflective stories like this one can sometimes be difficult for me (personal preferences). However, while the story is slow-paced for the most part, there have been moments when my heart stopped. The little elements of magic bring the emotion in the story to another level.

The book focuses on grief and family first and foremost, although there is also a bit of romance as well. (I feel like I didn't get to see enough of Axel and Leigh together to ship them properly, but they're still cute.) I empathized with the characters. I am not biracial like the protagonist—both of my parents are from Taiwan—but I am still able relate to Leigh as an Americanized daughter. Pan does a great job conveying how unconnected and out-of-place Leigh feels, and while I can't attest to how well loss is portrayed here, my heart sincerely aches for her family.

The concluding chapter feels a little Disney Channel movie, but the story wraps up well. I feel like I took away something from the read, and I must stress how much how much I really didn't see those plot twists coming. Between that and the magic, it makes this story about loss unique. I rate The Astonishing Color of After four stars.

Before, I had never considered studying abroad in Taipei. It was always cities like Paris or London. In about a week, I will be leaving for Taiwan for a study abroad program. I am very thankful to have received this ARC because it made me curious to learn more about my family and their culture, since you never know how long family will be around.

Beautiful writing, accessible magical realism. Great relationships with the family members. Twist at the end that was unexpected.

THE ASTONISHING COLOR OF AFTER by Emily X.R. Pan is a compelling, young adult novel exploring life, death, and family secrets.

When her mom commits suicide, Leigh is convinced her mother has turned into a bird. When this half Asian and half white teen visits her maternal grandparents in Taiwan for the first time, she slowly becomes immersed in the culture and begins to uncover family secrets that help her better understand her mother, her family, and herself. Flashbacks help readers understand what led to her mother’s suicide along with providing insights into Leigh’s friendship and romance with Axel.

Librarians will find that teens enjoy the magical realism elements of this novel along with the contemporary setting. The balance of hope and despair and the movement between the past and present will add to the appeal for teens readers.

Published on March 20, 2018 by Little, Brown, an imprint of Hachette. ARC courtesy of the publisher.

Leigh is just seventeen when her mother kills herself. She takes it very hard and tries to understand why she did it. It also leaves so very many questions about her mother's past un-answered.

Soon after her mother's death, a large red bird appears and speaks to Leigh. She is convinced that her mother has become that bird. At the seeming urges of the bird, Leigh and her father travel to Taiwan to meet her maternal grand parents. She hopes that while there she can find the bird and unravel her mother's secrets.

While I did enjoy following Leigh on her quest, I found that the first two thirds of the book were somewhat lethargic. It must have been similar to how her mother felt during her depressed times. After that point, the pace of the story picked up and became more clear. I couldn't put the book down for the final third.

Leigh is an interesting teen. She associates colour with all emotions and events. It isn't made clear whether this is a medical condition called synesthesia or that she is further expressing her artistic flair. It does enhance the story by considering the events as particular colours.

We also meet Axel, Leigh's long time BFF. The day they crossed the friend line and kissed is the same day that her mother died. Leigh has to deal with the guilt she feels over choosing to spend time with Axel instead of caring for her mother.

Other than the events surrounding the magical bird, much of what Leigh, and Axel by extension, have to deal with is realistic. Teens don't live in a bubble that isolates them from life's pressures. They have romance angst, home life dynamics as well as their futures to consider. If it takes a little magic to deal with all this , then I salute author Emily X. R. Pan for doing it so well.

Sorry...I didn't finish this one. I find the book absolutely fascinating, don't get me wrong. But I am just not a fan of the style of writing employed therein...not a lyrical/magical realism girl. It's a beautiful premise though. And lovely scene setting.

In the aftermath of her mother's suicide, Leigh Chen Sanders is certain her mother has become a bird guiding her to travel to Taiwan for the first time in her life. She follows that instinct determined to not only find the bird but also learn about her heritage. She gets exposed to her Asian heritage, meets her maternal grandparents and uncovers secrets that changes what she thought she knew about her family. Most importantly of all, this wild journey filled with magical realism allows her to understand her mother better and along the way, herself too. She begins to face her overwhelming grief as she looks back on the depression that that's plagued her mom for so long and the moments leading up to her death. Including a kiss shared with her best friend Axel, that she hasn't fully faced either. It's an introspective novel but there's an urgency to her Leigh's chase that kept the story going. I was moved by the author's prose, Leigh's love of color to describe her feelings and the relationship she formed with her grandparents. I just think I wanted more though? As much as I enjoy magical realism, there always seems to be a wall for me because I have to suspend my disbelief and juggle it with the "real" parts of it. Whereas with full out fantasy, I'm able to just be immersed in all the fantastical elements and let go, so to speak.

Do I recommend? I do! Especially if you love magical realism. And like I said, the writing is beautiful and touches on grief in a very unique way.

I don't even know what to say except that this is probably one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking books I've ever read. Thoughtful and thought-provoking, this book provides countless opportunities for discussion and can serve as a catalyst for readers to take a deeper look at their own histories. Inspiring and absolutely gorgeous, if this is Emily X.R. Pan's debut, I can't wait to see what she has in store for her readers in the future.

While I loved the descriptions of Taiwan, and feel like I learned quite a bit about the country from reading this book, I feel like it was a little too existential. I think young adults and teens would get a little bored.

Family members left behind after a suicide face deep pain. Resources offering real help are included in this book! Thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers for the opportunity to read and review The Astonishing Color of After! The main character saw her mother’s suicide and believes that her mother has visited her as a bird. No one believes her even though she has physical evidence. Her and her father visit her maternal grandparents in Taiwan and even though they don’t speak much English, they believe that the bird is true. This book is difficult to categorize into a genre, but even though it has supernatural happenings throughout the story, I feel that this is still, above all, a realistic fiction tale. The deep pain that survivors of suicidal family members face is a real problem and an intense struggle that hasn’t been addressed as much as it’s needed. The Astonishing Color of After helps! Resources are included towards the end of the book for various needs of those dealing with depression, loss, suicide and/or suicidal thoughts. The resources are categorized under the following headings: Suicide Prevention, For Suicide Loss Survivors and Understanding Mental Illness. The cultural education and coping skills made the story more interesting and I love Axel and the great friend that he is to Leigh and I appreciate the author’s honesty about her own experiences of being a suicide survivor. 4 stars!

THE ASTONISHING COLOR OF AFTER features an absolutely beautiful cover and an entirely new premise. I was immediately drawn in by the mystery of why Leigh's mother turned into a bird and what Leigh would discover about her family when she travels to Taiwan for the first time.

Readers should be warned that THE ASTONISHING COLOR OF AFTER involves discussions of suicide, depression, and grief. I believe the novel approaches these issues with an empathetic and careful hand.
The lush writing adds to the layers of Leigh's grief. And the use of colors as emotions is intriguing, though sometimes an unnecessary addition to scenes. And I appreciated that there were only hints of romance. This novel is Leigh coming to terms with herself and her family. She'll have the time for outright romance later.

My main complaint is that THE ASTONISHING COLOR OF AFTER is comprised of extremely short chapters. Just as the reader gets comfortable, the chapter ends. The stylistic choice is interesting and maybe meant to convey the difficulty of grieving. However, the truncated chapters stacked one on top of another made the scenes feel incomplete. Readers looking for a slow but thoughtful examination of grief and family will enjoy this magical realism novel.

THIS BOOK Oh my goodness, what a book. I must admit that in the beginning, it was a little bit difficult for me to get into. It has been a while since I've read a book with magical realism elements, but once I got used to the formatting of switching back from present day to past, and then smoke and mirrors moments, it got easier to get into the story. This book follows Leigh, who travels to Taiwan after her mother's suicide to learn about why her mother was estranged from her parents, but also because Leigh is convinced her mom became a bird and she must speak with her. The same day her mother killed herself is also the same day she finally kissed the boy she loved. There's a lot of flashbacks about her relationship with Axel, so you get to learn about that relationship, but also at the same time, learn about her mother. It was heart-wrenching at times because the depiction of depression really hit close to home. I loved learning more about Leigh's family, and seeing her interactions with her grandparents. It is a stunning story about family, love, and grief. It reminded me Jandy Nelson's I'll Give You The Sun for the art components of the book, but most of all, the magical realism aspects reminded me of Haruki Murakami. This is a wonderful debut novel and I can't wait to see what Pan writes next!

I am so grateful to have had the pleasure of reading and reviewing The Astonishing Color of After, an amazing debut that just completely blew me away. Seriously, it’s only March and I’ve found a 2018 favorite. And I mean, yes, though it is probably due to the fact that I related so much to the biracial main character, there was just so much more to it than that.

The story revolves around Leigh, our half Taiwanese half white protagonist, whose mother recently took her own life. As Leigh struggles with her grief, she encounters a beautiful red bird. The bird, who Leigh believes to be her mother, directs her to a package filled with letters from her maternal grandparents addressed to her mom. From then on, Leigh is determined to meet both her grandparents for the first time, which she hopefully will lead to her finding her mother again.

I don’t know how else to say this, but THIS WAS A BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL NOVEL.

“My mother’s hands have turned to wings. Her hair, to feathers. Her pale complexion now red as blood, red as wine, every shade of every red in the universe.”

The way the colors were embedded within sentences, the interweaving of magical elements into a cultural ghost story (if this makes any sense at all haha), the accuracy of being in a new place with no sense of belonging, all of these things were what made this novel a new favorite.

I’m literally at a loss for words right now, so I’m just gonna use bullet points:

- Other than Starfish, this novel accurately captures what it means to be biracial. Plus, I think it can also be highly relatable to diasporic readers, as Leigh constantly frustrated with how she doesn’t know the language well and the fact that she’s neither met her grandparents nor ever been to Taiwan.

- I love Leigh’s relationship with painting, AND COLORS. She struggles with gaining approval from her dad, who thinks she should be taking up a more “meaningful and successful” hobby or skill. On the other hand, Leigh’s mom is the one who encourages her to be creative.

- Axel. I like Axel. The romance does play a role in the story, but there isn’t as much emphasis on it as there is on Leigh’s relationship with her mother.

- To follow up more on that previous point, the story is told in alternating timelines, past vs. present. The present timeline starts with Leigh discovering that her mom turned into a bird, while the past is a couple months earlier.

- The fact that this is more of a ghost story rather than fantasy. There are many magical elements throughout the novel, but it definitely didn’t feel like a straight up fantasy. Leigh discovered more of her family’s past through the use of incense sticks, which when burned, would let her see certain memories. And then of course, there’s the presence of this red bird, which may or may not be Leigh’s mother.

- Lastly, I loved the originality of the ending. It is not something I saw coming!

Overall, this whole book is original, unpredictable, and completely relatable. I thank the ARC fairy from the very bottom of my heart for accepting my request for this book. The author did such an amazing job telling her grandmother’s story, along with portraying Taiwanese culture and biracial identity. I AM ON BOARD WITH ALL BOOKS SHE WRITES FROM NOW ON, and hopefully one day I’ll get to meet her.