"Maybe, sometimes, you have no choice but to do things before you're ready" (chapter 3)

Happy book birthday to Love Me, Love Me Not by S.M. Koz! Thank you Koz, Swoon Reads, and Xpresso Book Tours for giving me an eARC in exchange for an honest review. I read this whole book from start to finish in one day and found myself completely enchanted. A heads up, though, you probably shouldn't start reading it while you're serving at your church like I did since the book opens up with a sex scene. Oops.

Koz does a wonderful job of giving a raw look into the ups and downs of foster care, which I think is completely necessary for people to grow in empathy. Hailey has had a rough life, living with a mother who is a drug addict who has made choices that have hurt Hailey emotionally and physically. She gets put into the foster care system as a senior in high school, so she has to go through the changes this entails knowing that she will be aging out soon and will have to go through more changes. Not only is this a difficult concept to wrestle with, but Hailey also has trouble trusting the multiple families she gets placed with because she doesn't want people pitying her or elevating themselves in their views of her. My heart ached to watch Hailey struggle with who she is because of her past and who she could become because of her future.

Brad, Hailey's foster brother, is honestly a dream. He's a buff football star with the most empathetic heart. He refuses to let Hailey view herself as someone stuck in her past and choses to help her move forward by remembering the good memories. I could definitely see him being a Hufflepuff with his loyalty, kindness, and dedication. Maybe that's why I liked him so much.

In the midst of Hailey's chaotic changes, she discovers that her friendship with Brad is growing beyond appropriate boundaries. Their relationship moves into the forbidden, which is a trope that I've learned is popular, but it isn't so rule breaking that I lost interest. Brad's care for Hailey in learning about her without pushing her trust too hard is heart melting and I found myself rooting for ways they could make their relationship work without getting Hailey kicked out of the first stable home she's ever been in. Hailey's character growth and the Campbell's demonstrations of their love for her will completely enchant you from start to finish.

This is truly a book that you devour in a afternoon or at lest, I did!! If you are looking for that book that will have a love story with a girl finding her way in this world, you need to read this book!!

Swoon Reads has published another great YA Contemporary Romance with this novel. From the first sentence to the last, this book is very engaging. While predictable (as almost books are in this genre), you have the opportunity to get to know some unique characters - including Hailey, the main character. She has a sweet heart but is stuck in the foster care system. She finally is placed with a great family, only to have feelings for their son. Cute story!

I was granted the amazing privilege to read this book both before and after it was selected for publication. First time I read Love Me, Love Me Not was on SwoonReads, second time through a review copy via NetGalley. Thank you ever so much to them and to SM Koz. This book is amazing.

As someone who has spent several months in a foster home, I can relate to Hailey so much. But the added detail of a potential romance and pending difficulties/ consequences, it makes my foster experience look like smooth waters and not a raging sea. I will say that it's not a book of cotton candy, but it is a book that I thoroughly enjoyed. It's a book to read into the late hours of the night.
I'm not sure what other books I could compare this to. I think I can say it is somewhere between a novel by either A.L. Jackson or Celeste Grande. The rip your heart out and put it back together type of book.

When I read the title I immediately thought about that ~Thing we do when we were young where we pick up a flower and every petal we remove we say," s/he loves me. s/he loves me not." (Please tell me you know about that. Hahaha) and I must say, I was a little bit disappointed when I didn’t see that scene anywhere in the book. 😂

Anyways,

Love Me, Love Me Not has this aspect where I haven’t read anywhere else before: having a foster kid as the main character. It was nice reading about how foster children struggle on finding where they stay and/or how to fit in.

I really liked how the Campbells treated Hailey like she's part of their family. How welcoming they were when Hailey first arrived at their house. How kindhearted they are. How Gil and Gigi treated Hailey like their own child. Hay, can we have more people like the Campbells in the real world? Because we really need them.

It was nice having to read about a football player and is a popular kid at school actually having the biggest heart and not a bad boy/ a player. Because c'mon, those are mostly not true. I really liked Brad's character: he's just so sweet and caring!

The friendship Hailey have with Brittany is very tight. You can definitely tell from reading their story that it's the kind of friendship that can last forever.

Hailey, she's one strong woman. When she decided to break up with Chase so she can finally be free is the best decision she made. She was hesitant at first because ~ change. Some of us, even though we know how intoxicated we feel around people, we still can’t let those people go because we grew up with them. We fear that upon letting them go, we might not find anywhere else to be. But that is wrong... so very wrong and Hailey proved that. When she let go of Chase, there're a lot more people — good people — who replaced Chase and are always there whenever she needs them.

There are times when I get annoyed with Hailey because c'mon, why didn’t she tell anyone about the conversation she had with her Mom? I get where she's coming from but still!

aaaaandd that's all. I totally recommend reading Love Me, Love Me Not. It's a quick and fun read. Perfect when you're in a slump or if you're looking for something to read by the beach!

A past she must leave behind. A forbidden romance. An indefinite future. I didn't know it, when I picked it up, but it was exactly what I was looking for at the time, and I just plowed right through this book.

• Pro: Hailey was a character I found myself frustrated with, but also cheering for. She was in a tough situation, being removed from her home, bouncing from placement to placement, and a whole lot of other dysfunction. She made some decisions I wanted to throttle her for, but she also began to gain some confidence in herself and took control, and that is when I liked her best.

• Pro: The Campbells were a picture perfect family, but they sometimes made mistakes. I was glad Koz gave them some flaws, because it made them more real for me.

• Pro: We got to spend a little time with Hailey's social worker in the beginning of the book, and I absolutely adored her. I sort of wish we had more scenes with her.

• Pro: Best bestie for the win! Brittany was so fabulous and Hailey was extremely lucky that fate brought her into her world.

• Pro: The romance was of the forbidden type, which I don't really have an opinion on, but I will tell you that I could not get enough of Brad and Hailey together. They had a great rapport, chemistry, and a super solid friendship, which only made their romance that much better.

• Pro: Getting those peeks into the foster care system was interesting. It was encouraging to see the good parts of it, because all you ever hear about, usually, are the bad parts.

• Pro: This story has some drama, and I would say it leans a little towards the soapy-side, but it was never too much. I won't lie, I loved some of those OTT elements.

• Pro: Can we talk about the world's most perfect epilogue, because that's what Koz gave me. I could not erase the smile from my face after reading the epilogue, and it made me yearn for a continuation of this story.

Overall: A fabulous forbidden romance, which delivered an array of feels, and left me, ultimately, in a very happy place. I will definitely read more from S.M. Koz.

Love Me, Love Me Not by S.M. Koz is a painfully beautiful and incredibly emotional ride that had me in tears a few times. It wasn’t an easy read, but it was inspiring, hopeful, and touching.

This book had so many achingly intense FEELS. There were a few light, sweet, and fun moments, but for the most part this story was very emotional, and heartbreaking. Drugs, child neglect, sex, abuse, unhealthy relationships, and prostitution are never easy issues to read about. I was clenching my heart ready for the tears as I felt Hailey’s emotions every step of the way. Her constant fear of failing and of her past messing up with her happiness, the growing attraction to her foster brother, her insecurities about not being good enough, and the possibility that her life would lead nowhere – all of these consumed me and had me on edge the entire time. And even though I kind of had an idea that something devastating would happen and what it was, I honestly was not prepared for how everything played out. There were tears and anger and sadness, but the ending was also filled with so much love. It was touching and just absolutely wonderful.

Hailey was such an easy character to like and I really admired her for always trying to do her best in every situation. She may be passive and incredibly insecure, but she was also strong, kind, determined, and had such a good heart. I truly cannot imagine myself living her life and not turning into this horrible, angry, and resentful person. She’s been through so much pain, sadness, neglect, and abuse, but rather than give-up, she wanted to make her life better. She may be broken in so many ways, but she’s a fighter and a survivor. I really enjoyed getting to know Hailey and watching her become more trusting and confident as she slowly realized that there are good people who’d support her and a life and future filled with kindness, family, friendship and love.

I really liked Brad. He’s caring, protective, sweet, and funny too. However, I was frustrated and quite disappointed with some of his choices. He was reckless at times and did what he wanted without thinking about the consequences. I kind of wanted to slap him cause he was acting immature… But, I had to remember that he’s still a teenager so I could totally understand why he acted the way he did sometimes. Other than that, I thought he was absolutely charming and if I were in Hailey’s shoes, I probably would fall for him too.

The foster sibling romance definitely made me think about the show, The Fosters, and Callie and Brandon. Even the names are quite similar to each other — Hailey/Callie and Brad/Brandon — and that’s what made me really curious about this book. Personally, I’m not a big fan of this trope, but I do find it very intriguing. I also enjoy reading about complicated relationships and any romance that’s “forbidden.” So even though there weren’t a lot of swoons happening, a few cute and flirty moments did make me smile. I also think that Hailey and Brandon were super adorable together and I was really happy with how their relationship turned out in the end.

Overall, I thought this was a wonderfully written story. It’s terribly heartbreaking, incredibly moving, sometimes funny and sweet, and absolutely real in every way. The writing, the story, the characters, the relationships and all the emotions affected me. I really did enjoy going on this emotional journey so if you’re in the mood for a book with that and a lot of heart, then I highly recommend you add this to your TBR.

I received an advance reader copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley for participating in a blog tour hosted by Xpresso Book Tours in exchange for a fair and honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Hailey hasn't had the easiest life. Her mother doesn't treat her right and she's been in and out of the foster care system. Hailey's boyfriend Chase is rather controlling, but she think she needs him, because he's the only one who ever really showed her any attention and what she thinks is love. When things get bad at home, it's back off to a foster home. From what we read, Chase ruins two of those homes for her. Then she meets the Campbells. I loved how Hailey's life changed once this happened. These people actually really wanted her to have a good life and feel loved. Love Me, Love Me not was also very realistic though. How often foster homes fall through, group homes that don't always work out, being left to defend yourself once you turn 18. The foster care system is a wonderful thing when it works the way it's supposed to. Reading this book was a good thing. Not many books I have read so far talk about the foster kids and what they go through. How after everything they go through they have a hard time trusting anyone again. The only thing that kind of bugged me I guess, was the fact that the possible relationship between Hailey and Brad kind of took over the book at a certain point. Of course, this is something that happens, but I think it would've fit the book better if it wasn't so present. The relationship getting this much attention kind of interrupted I think the buildup to the events near the end of the book. While I was able to figure out pretty fast the way everything was going, I would've liked to have seen more of that. Beside that, this was an interesting read and it nice to read how a character who has never really been loved finds it in a healthy way in many different places. Books about fostercare are really important. I don't know if a lot of people, especially teenagers, realize what someone's life is like in the system.

Hailey is sent to a new foster home and has to finish her senior year in a new high school and make new friends. Her new family seems perfect, and her foster brother Brad is hot. But her boyfriend is starting to show his true colors, and they’re not pretty. Will he ruin everything for her? Or will she ruin everything all by herself with the inappropriate feelings she has for Brad?

The story is told in the first person present tense from Hailey’s point-of-view. We get to experience all of the highs and lows of Hailey’s life. We root for her but cringe at some of the decisions she makes. Even though I love Brad, how can any seventeen-year-old be so perfect? The supporting characters are great, too, with Michelle playing the part of the typical mean girl.

A light romance with some serious issues thrown into the mix.

Warnings: coarse language, child abuse, drug references, sex scenes (not graphic).

I received this book in return for an honest review.

So after reading this book, I learned this was a debut book. Well, what a way to introduce yourself!

This is the story of Hailey, living in foster homes due to her abusive, drug and alcohol abuser mother. We open the book with a scene with her and her boyfriend Chase, getting a bit jiggy with it, and her getting kicked out of her 3rd foster care in 3 days. All because of Chase.

Then Sherry (her DSS worker) finds her a new home, but it's a new school which sends Hailey into panic mode as she is going to be away from her crutch, also a drug user, Chase.  She is moved to a beautiful house, with the Campbells, Gil and Gigi and their smoking hot, lead quarterback son Brad.  The story follows Hailey, and her journey to a better life, acceptance and the belief that she can do something. She gains friends and a new family and a life she never expects to be able to live, and I loved all her friends, apart from the obvious one that no one will like.

Along the way, typically Chase tries to cause problems, but something else happens, something neither Hailey or Brad saw coming and it could bring her new life crashing down. When the inevitable big bad happens, I hated it, blame the foster kid I would, is the attitude. It showed how naive and quick to judge people are, but it also showed us the remorse and the guilt of her new family who let her down.  Don't worry happy endings do happen (NO SPOILER THOUGH).

The subject matters tackled in this book were quite hard especially for a 17-year-old to experience, but the author did herself justice, in the way all the characters were written and responded to their situations. It is not your typical YA story, of boy meets girls, boy and girl fall in love, there is a drama, and then end of. It is so much more, Hailey and her growth and development.

I loved seeing Hailey grow into the woman she became, from the skinny girl, no prospect apart from working in Wallmart to get buy, to someone who has ambition, a bit of meat on her and acceptance. It truly is a beautiful story, some teenage drama (as expected) but it did not drag on and on, it was cleared it up rather quickly which was a fresh of breath air. Not going to lie, I cried in this book too (God is there something wrong with me at the moment!) and devoured it in one sitting.

I also learned there will be another book, so I am excited for that and to pick up with old friends. (Happy dance!)

Love Me, Love Me Not is a really sweet YA forbidden romance which was actually more engaging and emotional than I had thought it would be going in.

I loved Hailey she goes through so much but her character has a lot of growth and she is so strong without being petty or too insecure. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book about a foster kid before and I thought it was pretty insightful, I can’t speak to its accuracy but it certainly made me think about how difficult it must be for people in that situation and how people can make automatic assumptions with no thought to how it will affect them.

Brad was also loveable, I liked that he wasn’t a typical football player and that he wasn’t a ladies man. He was very cute in his pursuit of Hailey always making sure that she was comfortable and being persuasive but in a way that if she said no you knew he’d back off straight away.

The plot was more than I expected, it didn’t fall back on too many overused tropes and actually had me getting very emotional at points. There was quite a big turn of events near the end of the book that I didn’t expect and I’m glad that whilst Hailey ended up happy that she stood her ground and chose what was best for her.

The one thing I would have liked a little more on was the consequences for some of the actions by one character, I don’t want to spoil it and say too much, but I felt like for me it wasn’t adequate enough and was a little tacked on at the end.

I enjoyed this more than I had originally thought I would and I would definitely pick up another book by S.M. Koz.

This is a heartfelt coming of age story of life in foster care. It's very well portrayed with realistic characters. I absolutely love the storyline.

Hailey is seventeen with a difficult upbringing. Neglected by her mother, she relies on Chase, her boyfriend who appears to be always there for her.

Brad is from an affluent family and the popular guy in his school. He is the quarterback of his football team and has his own dreams, but his father has other expectations.

When Hailey is kicked out of the last of her many foster homes, she is placed with Brad's family. They welcome her with open arms and she finally feels that she has found a home and a family. The friendship developing between her and Brad is comfortable until they realise that there is more to their friendship. The next step is just as natural and comfortable, but there are rules whilst in foster care. Breaking these rules would come with a high cost for Hailey!

Then comes the incident in Brad's home and instantly Hailey becomes "guilty". The disappointment and pain that she goes through is palpable. She is resigned to her fate, but then the truth behind the incident comes to light and although she is relieved, trusting and forgiving evades her. The betrayal doesn't really come as a surprise, but Brad owning up to his mistakes is admirable. His perseverance pays off and it ends on a beautiful note. I enjoyed reading the whole story. Brad and Hailey truly held my attention. I would recommend to readers of all ages.

Hailey has had a hard life, bouncing around from her mother who doesn't want her to many foster homes that keep kicking her out from the things her boyfriend Chase makes her do. When she is given a last chance with a new family and a new high school for her senior year, she is terrified she will screw this up too. But it seems like the Campbell's are different from any family she has been around before, they really want her, and Hailey wants them. Not to mention her new "brother" Brad is just about perfect. But Hailey's past has a way of showing up at the worst of times, which may just ruin her future.

So far, 2018 has delivered some great, compelling YA contemporary books that I have been lucky enough to read, and Love Me, Love Me Not was right up there with my favorites. The cover first caught my eye because it is pretty and then I read the synopsis and knew I would need to read this. In case you don't know this about me, I do enjoy some inappropriate relationships in my romances and a foster sibling scandalous relationship was not one I had read yet but most certainly wanted to.

Oh my geez, the feels! This was an intense, emotional read that dealt with a lot of hard, mature issues such as abuse in all it's ugly forms, prostitution and pimps, manipulation, hurtful relationships, family dysfunction, control, and the danger of bad choices. I knew going into the book that this would be a more serious YA contemporary read, but I had no idea the emotional conflict I would experience right along with Hailey. Hailey walked a very fine line, waiting for her old life to ruin her new life, waiting for Brad and the Campbells to not want her, waiting for her life to go nowhere- the stress of it all was overwhelming! I was so caught up in her struggles and mindset, tension building between her and Brad as well as the fact I knew something terrible was coming, kept me on the edge of my seat, plotting every wrong thing that could happen. Hailey was such a sweet, kind person, so not made for the world she was born into where she was used and abused but felt like she deserved it. I could not put myself into her shoes per se because her personality was so different from me but I did like watching her learn to have confidence in her self and trust others.

I don't want to be too spoilery, but the ending was filled with such hope and happiness, a complete 180 from where the book started. I thought this was a standalone but based on things I was reading online (ah, the joys of the book community and gossip!) I guess there will be another book coming. I am a little stressed with how that book will play out because I want this to end happy (hey, Hailey needs a little HEA), but I will read whatever S.M. will come up with next and keep my fingers crossed for the best.

I received an early copy of this title to review. Review on https://smadasbooksmack.blogspot.com/

Story was okay but fairly predictable. Hailey is a foster kid placed with Brad's family. Not long after Hailey moves in she and Brad discover that they both like each other a little more than foster siblings should. The part that was missing was, besides finding each other physically attractive, there is no other explanation as to why they like each other. Toward the end of the book there is a situation that Brad and his family do not handle well even though Hailey tells them repeatedly that she was not a part of what happened. It was a huge betrayal of trust and Hailey forgives them way too easy.

Great. I like the story and I like the characters. I felt Like Hailey had much more depth than Brad, however. I liked hails backstory and childhood struggles. Brad just seemed a little too simple. It seemed totally believable that her foster family for ditcher at the first sign of trouble, and I like that that was included in the book. I do wish they’d been a little more conversation between Haley and bread to resolve the conflict however. If it like he gave up on her too quickly, and she for gave him too quickly. That was my only complaint about the book.

Thank you for approving me for this ARC. I’m apart of the Xpresso blog tour for Love Me, Love Me Not, so my review won’t be posted online until my blog stop date which is 6/22/18.

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My thoughts on Love Me, Love Me Not:

I’ve never been a huge fan of contemporary romances, that is until recently. In the last few months I’ve read a handful of really great ones, and it’s caused me to actively seek out other really great ones more, and more often. Old Lauren probably would have passed on Love Me, Love Me Not, because there wasn’t any mention of supernatural creatures, magical powers, or fantastical worlds. But new Lauren is now also drawn to non-fantasy stories, set in our world, with strong characters, complicated relationships, and lots and lots of emotional moments.

On a late Sunday morning I sat down and started reading Love Me, Love Me Not, by the evening I was finished with it. I couldn’t put it down! The moment Hailey was introduced, I wanted to know more about her. I wanted to know how she landed in foster care, and why she was with a guy named Chase, who was clearly a loser, and not good for her.

I couldn’t relate to Hailey’s upbringing, but I did feel connected to her. My heart hurt for her because she had to grow up with a mother that abused her verbally, emotionally, and occasionally physically. Hailey’s “boyfriend” Chase was no better. He was always putting her down, and telling her that she was nothing more than his property. Hailey’s upbringing prior to living with the Campbells was a nightmare, and I wanted to constantly give her hugs because of it. The Campbells, along with her new classmates, helped Hailey start to see that good people exist in the world, ones that want to build you up, not just knock you down.

Hailey and Brad had great chemistry and I was rooting for them wholly. I was also super nervous for them. Their romantic relationship is something they have to keep a secret, because dating your foster sibling is a big no-no. Hailey was constantly afraid that they’d be caught, and that she’d be kicked out of, yet again, another foster home. She was especially afraid, because the Campbells were the best foster parents she’d ever had, and they made her feel secure and wanted.

This book just really tugged at my heartstrings. I felt so much while reading. I felt joyous when Hailey started to feel safe and loved. I felt proud when she started to work harder in school, to bring up her gpa, and increase her chances of getting accepted to a college. I felt scared when Chase started showing up unannounced, threatening to ruin Hailey’s new, good life. I felt sad, when pieces of Hailey’s horrible upbringing were revealed. Like I said, so many feels! The feels were overwhelming, and made me want to read and read, until I devoured every sentence in this book.

The only thing I didn’t love about Love Me, Love Me Not was the ending. I liked it well enough, but I thought it was a bit anticlimactic. The emotions were always running high in Love Me, Love Me Not, and I was expecting an explosive ending. What we got was bittersweet, and emotional, but not quite the fireworks I thought the story was heading towards.

If you’ve ever watched 'The Fosters' and pined for foster/adopted siblings Callie and Brandon to get together, then this forbidden love YA is definitely for you! Hailey is broken by years of neglect and abandonment, deep in a damaging relationship with the truly terrible Chase. When she moves in with the wealthy Campbell family, she is surprised to see they have a son, Brad, quarterback of her new school’s team and all around nice guy. Hailey and Brad soon grow close, but rules, jealousies and misjudgements conspire to keep them apart, as does Hailey’s developing sense of her own self-worth. Way to go, Hailey! A touching, fascinating, and ultimately very satisfying read. – Maura Tan

This review appears in Romantic Intentions Quarterly #1.

I love giving Swoon Reads a try. Hailey has had a very rough beginning to life, a mother that abuses drugs and a boyfriend that uses Hailey to get what she wants. A childhood full of hunger and very little love and safety, Hailey is take into social services for her own good. After being placed in a caring, loving, wealthy family. Hailey ceratinly doesn't feel like she belongs. Soon she realizes how bad she had it growing up and doesn't want to lose this placement. Until she realizes she's falling in love with her foster brother handsome, popular, kind, and of course the high school quarterback. I really enjoyed this book and pretty much read it in one sitting.

Hailey is a senior in high school and gets placed in the foster care system because her mom is an addict. At the very beginning of the book she gets caught with her boyfriend and gets kicked out of that foster house, so she is moved to a different school district away from her boyfriend. Her new foster parents have a son who is the same age as Hailey and she falls for him.

It's a very interesting story line and covers her fear of not fitting in, of not wanting to take any assistance from her foster family, and not wanting to have feelings for her foster brother.

Coming of age has never been done better. This is a great example for youth of healthy relationships, a topic important to all kids...not to mention a very sweet and sexy boy.