This is easily one of the most difficult book reviews I’ve ever had to write because I have plenty of mixed feelings about Not the Girls You’re Looking For that make expressing my opinion just a tad more complicated.

While I eventually learned to appreciate many aspects of this story, its beginning was rough, slow, and oftentimes confusing and this continued to drag on for a significant portion of the whole book. There was a lot of weirdly written dialogue that showed no direction and came across as unnatural, making it difficult for me to follow and to understand what was happening.

Speaking of, I don’t think anything was actually happening in the first part of the book. The opening half of Not the Girls You’re Looking For was littered with mundane, directionless scenes that collectively did not constitute an observable plot. The experience felt like watching fish swim in an aquarium; that is, I was introduced to a group of friends and had to read about them navigating through their everyday lives in their natural habitats, but nothing about their lives or their environments was engaging at all.

Additionally, while I was extremely glad to see that this book largely centered female friendships, the dynamics of their relationships somewhat leaned towards toxic rather than genuinely supportive. I could not really see how any of them could be friends with each other because in many occasions, they were petty, hateful, and generally bad friends. They were particularly awful to Emma, who was arguably the most likeable and best behaving one in their bunch.

It was around 54% of the book that Not the Girls You’re Looking For started becoming more interesting and more bearable. The sudden one-eighty turn that the story took on definitely made up for the incredibly weak and frustrating first half. For one thing, the storyline began to move along at a faster, more compelling pace, and as events progressed, it became clearer to me what ideas the story was trying to tackle. In line with this, the unlikely female friendships were developed more dimensionally, and by the end of it all, I was actively cheering for Lulu and her friends.

While the plot significantly improved, the story nevertheless remained to be largely character-driven. At first, this was disadvantageous because Lulu was a highly unlikable, instinctively spiteful, and greatly frustrating character. However, much like the plot, there was a significant amount of impressive character growth for all the girls, with Lulu exhibiting the largest positive change as a character.

Basically, what I am trying to get at is: there were numerous low points and equally as many high points in Not the Girls You’re Looking For. For me, the romance between Lulu and James was not that impressive. They shared some endearing moments and refreshingly honest conversations, but ultimately, their limited chemistry failed to imprint them as a memorable couple. On the other hand, I really loved learning more about Lulu’s family and their dynamics. Lulu’s mother was noticeably overbearing but very well-intentioned, while her father was endlessly patient and nicely contrasted the loud, headstrong personality of his wife. As a family, they were wonderfully eccentric and very relatable.

Another strong point in Not the Girls You’re Looking For was the seamlessly beautiful way cultures were integrated into the story and into the narration itself. In the story, Lulu grappled with her identity as an Arab-American Muslim and internally struggled to come to terms with whom she was and where she really belonged to.

Overall, I have an incredibly turbulent hate-to-love relationship with this novel. My reading experience was filled with an extensive range of strong emotions that was easily spurred on by Aminah Mae Safi’s effectively evocative writing style. There was a lot of beauty held within eloquent passages, but at the same time, the author was blatantly unafraid to show the uglier, crueler, and upsetting side of things. In doing so, socially relevant messages about existing inequalities and realities were effectively broadcast, as well as important themes of love, friendship, and learning from mistakes. Not the Girls You’re Looking For was definitely an unforgettable read: unapologetically messy, hauntingly real, brilliantly snarky, but ultimately, poignant and timeless.

I’m always open to sex positive books, especially for teens so I had higher hopes for this one. I didn’t care for the characters and I think that’s what made my experience not great. Also the pacing was super slow.

Lulu is ready to tackle junior year and any other obstacles as long as she has her three best friends by her side. After one hookup goes sour, her friendships start to tear apart. To make matters worse, she's on thin ice with her mom. Lulu struggles to put back the pieces of her life and find herself in the process. Not the Girls You're Looking For is a character-driven, coming-of-age story that explores relationships and identity in many forms, which is mostly done well.

Lulu is an abrasive, "in-your-face" character that took me a long time to warm up to. She is smart, flawed, sexual, and vulnerable. Lulu is approachable when she opens up and lets her guards down. We learn that due to Islamophobic bullying, she has to develop a thick skin and become aggressive. Lulu is not particularly religious either. She drinks, smokes pot, and casually hooks up with boys though she does fast during Ramadan, which is when the story takes place. I wished the author would have explored more about the significance particularly of self awakening, spiritual aspect that is the core part of observing Ramadan. Once again an educating opportunity is slipped and what pained me about it most that it made Lulu ashamed to talk about it because she was afraid of being bullied.

The exploration of female friendships takes the center stage in the book. Each girl brings something to the group, but it messy, mean, and uneven at times which makes it realistic. The discussion of slut shaming, a candid look at consent, and sexual assault is also an important aspect of the book, but it could have been fleshed out more. The inclusion of a healthy romance where consent is taken seriously plans a good contrast so readers can distinguish the two different behaviors. I do wish the author spent more time in tackling one character's alcoholism and having another character confide with an adult about sexual assault. I was unhappy about another character's sexuality and coming out just through into the story as a plot point to get to Lulu's light bulb moment.

Personally, I was more engaged in the book when Lulu explores her biracial and mixed culture identity (Lulu has a white mom and an Arab dad) in all its joys and struggles. Her frustrations of always being labeled as "other" and the feelings about being an impostor or having impostor syndrome is poignant and thought provoking. I would have much rather preferred if the book was just about unpacking her identity. The plot sometimes suffers from uneven pacing, but Lulu's voice is strong and I was curious to see where the story went.

Not the Girls You’re Looking For is one of my most anticipated books this year. I get so excited when I first read the synopsis. So, when I found that Aimee is hosting, I grab the opportunity.

The story is in Lulu’s POV. She is your normal teenager; wild, reckless and vulnerable. In this book, it does not revolve in Lulu’s relationship with her friends but with her family as well. Her father is Iraqi and her mother is American. I like it that I get to read how Lulu find her sense of belongingness to her friends and family, how she grow and how she handles every situation to herself.

Honestly, I struggle in the first half of the book because of the writing style. Since, I am not used to the writing style, I felt like it was slow to me but then realised that I am having a hard time understanding it. I had to reread the first half because there are parts where I couldn’t understand it and most of the time the conversations. There are parts that I struggle in following conversations because I had to reread and think how it come up to that end.

However, what strikes me in this book is the representation of culture differences. It opened my eyes with many Iraqi and Muslims traditions. Lulu has a choice to fast or not to fast during Ramadan and to connect with her family she fast with them and using Ramadan as one of the centres in this book is, I believe, wise. Moreover, I love how this book introduce James. He is dependable, apologise when at fault and truly cares and love Lulu.

On the other hand, this book is not a light read. It has more deep underlying meaning. It is messy, raw with adorable characters.

To be honest, I wasn't crazy about this book at first. I didn't really care for Lulu or her friends and I wasn't sure where the plot was going. That being said, I grew to enjoy the story more as I read. I liked the ways Lulu learned to appreciate her family and her "extended" family. I liked how she learned more about herself through her challenges. I liked that the romance wasn't the focal point of the story, and Lulu still learned more about where she belonged without depending on James to do it for her. While I still don't really understand what the driving plot was, getting to see Lulu develop in such a natural and challenging way redeemed part of this for me. Though the book didn't grab me right away, it did grow on me, and I ended up enjoying reading about Lulu and her struggles with her family, tradition, friends, and herself.

Not the Girls You're Looking For wasn't what I expected it would be--but that's definitely not a bad thing! It's just that I expected a light, fun read based on the way the synopsis was written, but this book was brutal. It was a tad dark, but it was just so truthful and hit me right in the feels.

I'll admit, the start was a tad slow, and I was iffy about the girl-on-girl hate, but I came to love this book so much, and I definitely want more! Generally, here's what you will LOVE about this book (hopefully) as much as I did:

And even then she was less alone here than she'd believed. Less alone than she'd feared.


1. Character growth!

Lulu's not easily likable. She makes rash choices that don't always make sense. As the story progresses, we get to know her more, and she also discovers more about herself. It's lovely watching her realize that sometimes, we have to lower our pride for the people who are important to us. It's great getting to learn along with her as well.

2. Realistic girl friendships.

The girl-squad in this book features Lulu, Audrey, Lo, and Emma. And to be honest? They're bitches. They're the kind of bitches who talk trash behind people's backs, who don't think about the consequences of their actions.

They have fights, misunderstandings, and all those negative things that come with any friendships. It's natural! I find them to be really authentic teenage girls. I seriously commend the author for showing even the ugly--but truthful--side of girl squads.

3. Awesome family dynamics.

Lulu comes from a mixed family. It was refreshing to see someone try to blend in to a culture they're not from, since I see it all the time when my Chinese relatives marry non-Chinese people. Again, this isn't all kittens and rainbows--we see that it's tough for some people, but it happens!

While Lulu isn't always on the best terms with her extended family (again, totally relatable), the love she has for her immediate family is just amazing. They have ups and downs like we all do, but at the end of the day, family is family.

4. JAMES! JAMES! JAMES!

James is one of the most adorable leading guys ever. Fine, you won't like him the first time you meet him, but you'll come to love this quirky, sweet, caring guy. The romance definitely takes a backseat since this novel focuses on friendship and family, but it's a side-story you will adore. I wish we had more of it!

5. Diversity! (POSSIBLE SPOILER! BE WARNED!)

Like I said earlier, Lulu comes from a mixed family, so this book champions cultural diversity! We were introduced to Arabic food and practices, which was fantastic. But!!! It also features sexual diversity. One of Lulu's friends is bi, which I appreciated a lot. It took her a while to open up, but when she did, Lulu and the rest of the gang were really supportive of her, and I loved seeing that a lot.

The best part of this novel is Safi's writing. Lulu is biracial and I loved how much that plays a role in the story. The friend group was diverse and I enjoyed their dynamics and seeing their bond. I wasn't the biggest fan of the overall plot, there were some really cute scenes and some that dragged on too long. Overall, the writing and the characters kept me engaged.

Not the book for me. I like the idea for the book and the female friendships, but the writing feels very young and is just not clicking with me. I think many other readers will enjoy this book though.

I already noted I would not review this book but it is still on my shelf.
I am not reviewing this book.
I DNF.
There is too much swearing and sex.

This book was very slow to start and the characters were not very likable. I just wasn't able to get into it, despite a promising premise.

In this coming of age story, Not the Girls You’re Looking For by Aminhah Mae Safi, Junior in high school Lulu Saad battles teenage hormones, discovers the meaning of true friendship, and most importantly discovers who she is on her own terms. If teenage life wasn’t hard enough, Lulu’s attempts at self-discovery are complicated by being mixed races with her mom from Louisiana and her dad from Iraq. Living in Houston, she fights daily battles with people identifying her culture and religion with terrorism.

The story starts right in the middle of what we later discover is typical Lulu behavior, but it takes the reader several pages at the beginning of the book to catch up and get everyone straight in their minds. Each character is well developed, and by the end of the story, I found myself rooting for Lulu and all of her friends.

This is a fantastic read that I think would make a great teen or YA book club book that carries the important message of how our comments and perceptions affect those around us.

Disclaimer: I received this book for free from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review

I’m not sure why, but it took me a while to get into this book. Maybe it’s because I read too fast and I missed details, or maybe it just took me a long time to fall in love with Lulu...but by the end? I love this book. I love these girls. My students will love this too.

You deserve to treat yourself with this read. Buy. Enjoy.

* I received a free galley from NetGalley in exchange for an open and honest review*

I wanted to give this book a try since I LOVED Safi's short in Fresh Ink so I requested it from NetGalley. Since the publication date is so soon, I decided I better give it a shot so I picked it up last night. I got about 20% through it and just was not feeling the book. I know a lot of people say that it has a super slow start, but I just couldn't be bothered right now. I should also add that unlike everyone else right now, summer doesn't make me crave contemporary stories so I wasn't in the mood for a book like this. Either way, when I find a book interesting enough I normally stick it out even if I'm not in the mood for the genre. Whenever I'm in the right mindset for a contemporary, this is definitely going to be the first I pick up since I feel it deserves a second chance. I just didn't like it enough to push through it right now!

Overall, I don't have much to add or say about the actual story line or writing. I don't feel like I read enough to give it a fair shot.

Lately, Lulu has been screwing everything up. Her three best friends are all pulling apart at the seams, an almost accidental drowning at a party has her grounded for life (or at least the remainder of Ramadan), and she finally snaps at one of the aunties for saying something that—as it turns out—she didn’t even say. So, yeah, Lulu’s life is a bit complicated. But she’s determined to set things right, because as painful as it is to admit you’re wrong—or that you’ve been wronged—there are some things that make it worth it. Like friendship and family…and maybe even the cute new boy she almost accidentally didn’t drown at that party.

I really, really enjoyed this YA novel about friendship, owning who you are, and learning to be the bigger person—but still maybe get a little revenge along the way. Lulu and her three best friends are unrepentant “assholes,” girls who get to be snarky and independent and imperfect and, yeah, a little mean without apology. They’re all complicated and nuanced in ways that make for really great dynamics. The girls feminism—and the feminist message of the book overall, that girls should get to be whoever they want to be, and to be as imperfect and complicated and brash as boys—was so refreshing.

And the fact that this book is about a Muslim, Arab American girl, set during Ramadan, and prioritizes lots of different kinds of love and relationships? Lovely. Plus, the fact that the title is a bit of a Star Wars reference? Even more marks in its favor.

But my absolute favorite part of this book was the loyalty and depth of the friendship between Lulu, Lo, Audrey, and Emma. As someone who grew up with three best girl friends myself, I always long to see that kind of profound and nuanced female friendship in books—and so rarely do. But finally here is a book that gets it! Seeing these four girls support and protect each other, hurt each other and learn how to apologize, grow, and forgive each other, was refreshing. That kind of friendship is such a powerful thing and so rarely depicted—and especially depicted well—in media. And getting to read a story where girls prioritized each other over relationships, while also supporting each other’s romantic relationships, was so, so lovely.

This is a wonderful book about a girl in the in-between spaces of life. In-between two cultures, in-between childhood and adulthood, in-between making mistakes and making up for them. But ultimately it’s about how she learns to own that in-betweenness and own who she is. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Not the Type of Girls You're Looking for is that book that is going to creep up on you, that you won't expect to like but at the end, you'll end up loving it so bad, the story stays with you forever. This story is hell-bent on kicking stereotypes to hell, and judgemental asses to the curb.

The story starts off slow and then you're going to be like wth? Are these characters, these girls alright... These girls are messy and I was constantly thinking wtf is going on, but as the story, progressed so did my interest and I couldn't not finish it. It was that good. Some actions in the book have me cringing and there are places which had me creasing because I can relate to Lulu, she's Muslim me and her friendship with her girls is as bad and as great as my own was with my besties in secondary school. But that's where it ends cause Lulu is one hell of a ballsy character.

Our main protagonist is Lulu Saad, she's a half Arab Muslim girl. She is as beautiful as they come, she knows it and owns it. She's a girl who takes pride in being a girl and won't stand for any misogynistic or sexist actions or speech. She will own your ass and put you in your place.

She doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the Arabs in her community because her mum isn't Arab, I swear I don't know why some people are so mean and stuck up to their own people, people you're meant to embrace, and take as your brothers and sisters. This treatment has a major effect on her sense of identity and of course, it's nothing good when people have made you feel like you're an imposter.

Lulu isn't perfect, she is so flawed and I love that about her. She jumps from one bad decision to another that has a dramatic domino effect on her life and you've just got to accept that all of the girls Lulu, Emma, Lo and Audrey are so flawed. Their actions will have you facepalming, you'll get mad at every single girl. They are assholes, and the assholery will get to new heights that they can't even stand each other, but nonetheless, are still there for each other, because they care for each other and they work. The four girls are the type of girls who have huge personalities, that can't help but clash, but it works as each of them has what they add to the relationship and are always there for each other when it counts.

I could tell you about the girls, but what's the fun in that, I'll let you find out about the personality traits all by yourself, nope not getting spoilers out of me.

What you need to know is, these girls aren't naive, they are growing and they are learning to be better people, cause as the story progresses they get more aware of how their actions affect others and they want to better, even if it's messy getting there. The self-discovery is spot-on.

Lulu's family dynamic is eccentric and wonderful, I loved her interactions with her parents and her brothers. It's not perfect, but I love the honesty, I love what the story is preaching about it, be forthcoming with your parents, 90% of the time LOL. Cause it's good to have your parents on your side. Aimee Saad is mothering goals. I seriously love her.

There are people in the book though, yeah the privileged and you're just going to be like oh why did they get off so easy for being racists, homophobic and sexist maggots, but if you really think about it, a lot of racist get off easy because of the privlege they have and how it protects them and keeps them locked in a bubble of trash self-importance and a superiority complex, when there's not one thing that is good or will ever be good about them if they continue the way they are, which unfortunately is the MO for all racists.

Then you have the wonderful boys James and Matt, who you just can't help but like, I swear.

This is one story that has been executed so well because at the end it all comes together and makes sense, you understand why the protagonists are the way they are, you see it for yourself. You can't help but love it and if you DNF this book without even getting 30% in then your opinion is invalid. Yes, I said it.

4.5 stars

This is an incredible coming-of-age story about Lulu and her best friends who don’t seem like they even like each other, and I kept wondering why on earth they were friends, until their friendship goes through some serious ordeals and they have a stronger friendship in the end.
Lulu is such a fun character to read about. She is so cutthroat, to the point where she pushes a guy into a pool when he didn’t really do anything to deserve that, and she messes with people and purposely insults people and suffers the consequences if they didn’t really deserve it.
Also, I loved the writing style. It’s not every day I compliment a book on its writing, but this book really demonstrates a way with words in a way I don’t always see.

While charming and funny, this is a complicated novel. At times, the unconventional prose was lyrical and beautiful. Often, however, the prose made it hard to understand what was happening. Lulu and her friends are imperfect, aggressive, and welcome alternatives to more typical teen girl characters. I also appreciated Lulu's efforts to reconcile her Muslim culture with teen culture, including going on a date while she was still fasting for Ramadan. Her biracial identity, frank conversations with her parents, dealing with sexual assault, and dynamic friendships all contribute a lot to the story.

I DNFed this title. This book wasn't what I was expecting from the adorable cover. It's not cutesy but edgy. Immediately I realized that this narrative voice didn't work for me. I don't want to review negatively because it's simply not my thing. I do like that it's not following stereotypes, but I pretty much never read this kind of YA.

Not the Girls You're Looking For was a look at one girl's struggle with self identity and complex relationships, which was very thoughtful, witty, and honest.

The Good

•Lulu was a force to be reckoned with! She was interesting and complicated, and I never knew what to expect from her. To others, she seemed so tough, but that was only on the outside. Inside she was nursing wounds, grappling with personal demons, and slowly unraveling.

•Safi's exploration of Lulu's inner struggle of not be white or arab enough was quite compelling, and made my heart ache a little for Lulu. It's hard enough trying to navigate one's teen years without gaining more scrutiny for being biracial.

•I loved all the infusion of cultural and religious aspects Safi put into this story. Setting the book during Ramadan allowed the author to share so much about this important month on the Muslim calendar, and I really enjoyed visiting with all Lulu's "family". I especially adored the wedding, because I felt totally immersed in Lulu's joy during this event.

•I am such a fan of female friendships, and this was quite a special one. Lulu's group was diverse and each young woman brought something to the group. When they were together, there was a synergy, and the group could take on any challenge. Safi explores the complex nature of this group, and she showed them at their best and their worst.

•There are quite a few lackluster males in this story, but there were also some really wonderful ones. I was such a fan of Lulu's father and brothers, as well as James.

•Lulu's mother was pretty incredible. She stood by her husband and supported his culture, despite the fact that she was not accepted into his world. She worked towards blending her culture with her husband's and passing this onto her children. She had her ups and downs with Lulu during this story, and there were a few mama bear moments, but not once did I question her love for Lulu.

•A lot of ideas were touched upon with respect to relationships, consent, loyalty, family, culture, and personal responsibility, which I really enjoyed.

The Not As Good

•This story has very little plot. It's mostly about Lulu's personal journey, and sometimes seemed to wander, but it really did not detract from my enjoyment.

Overall

A wonderful story of self discovery, friendship, and family, which was filled with astute observations and warmed my heart.

Due to the diverse population of the students I teach, I continually comb the magazines, shelves and Netgalley for novels that feature young women of color. Thank you for offering a great novel with a young woman of nuanced character.