I did really enjoy this especially the relationship part and the plot of Alex learning how to accept herself however there was a bit that I didn't like. The ending was very cliched and apart from Alex and Phoenix, I didn't feel like I knew the other characters. Justin confused me and was a dick for a lot of the story and Lin seemed to disappear after about halfway through then reappear at the end. But for a debut I really liked it. Although I never had to go through such negative reactions when I came out (which I am very grateful about) it is something that can be extremely hard to do, especially for someone in Alex's position. So, it is worth the read but does have a lot of homophobia in it. As it is written by someone from this community, it is definitely acceptable and very relevant for many individuals unfortunately.

The cover was the first the first thing that drew me to the novel. I couldn't just not find out more about the book with the simple yet pretty cover - and I'm glad I did. I wanted to read more LGBT+ novels for quite some time now and Alicia Tuckerman's debut novel came at the perfect time.

Alex Summers is seventeen and has been living with a major secret for many years. She hasn't told a soul, not even her best friend Lin, and she constantly fears about someone finding out. Then a new family moves into town and with them their daughter Phoenix Stone. It's not long before Alex falls for mysterious and confident Phoenix but in the conservative and rural town of Two Creeks, no girl goes out with another girl. Now Alex has to decide if coming out is worth the jump.

I think that If I Tell You is a really important book for not only the LGBT+ community but for everyone out there. Although Alex's story is a piece of fiction, I can't help but wonder how much truth the story actually contains because this story felt too real. I'm sure that there are lots of Alex's out there living in small and conservative communities, afraid of coming out to their parents and friends, afraid of their reactions and possible resentment, afraid of being looked at differently. And that's just it, you're NOT different than other people, it's just who you are. It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, you are still the same person. And I guess that is what Alicia Tuckerman was trying to convey with this novel and I think she did well.

"It's not about being normal! [...] It's about being who you are. If you have to try, then it's probably not who you're supposed to be."

I really liked Tuckerman's writing. Her words and sentences fit great together and conveyed Alex's feelings and thinking perfectly. I also liked the way the different worlds, people and beliefs clashed together here and influenced Alex in a different way. You could really feel her internal struggle about doing what's right for her family and friends and about doing what's right for her.

However, there was something missing to make it a really great novel, which is why I give it 3.5 stars only. Still, If I Tell You is a really important novel and I recommend it to those who want to read more from the LGBT+ genre, and to everyone else too.

"Don't apologise for being who you are."

This is a brilliant coming of age novel, it deals with love, loss, sexual identity and dealing with people in this world that are still homophobic and the impact that can have when you are finding yourself or trying to "come out". I loved this book, it was a heart-wrenching novel that made me feel I was living in the story myself.

This one is not easy to review! There are so many reasons to love it... but also so many to dislike it.
The author's writing sometimes is really beautiful, but overall I felt like there was a kind of superficiality. Maybe it was too much telling instead of showing? I couldn't bond with the MC althought there are various reasons I should have because she reminded me of myself from time to time. I know this is a YA and I'm not really into the genre but I think it could have been more profound none the less.
Back to what I liked. The setting, rural Australia, is what drown me to the story, and it was very vivid and real. The difficulty of coming out and the relationship with parents was also portrayed in a believable manner. I wasn't too disturbed by the homophobia, it happens (or happened) in various places, hopefully it's getting better with time. What really bothered me was something else I can't say because it would be a huge spoiler, let's just say it's an heavy story, and I would never recommend it to my teenage sons (or daughters). I read it knowing how it would end and it was better for me because otherwise I would have been enraged by how things turned out. I am wondering in fact why the hype of the book doesn't spoil the ending while the hype on Netgalley does... that's a strange choice from the publisher.

Mild spoilers ahed! Go on at your own risk!

Anyway, triyng again to avoid the big spoiler if I can, I need to comment the "message" delivered by the book. It seems to be something like "I will teach you to fly, that's the most important thing. Then you can fly with me, alone, or with anyone else you like". Not bad, only I have to consider reality. Let's say you are a lesbian girl in a rural little town. Another lesbian comes to town. You fall in love with her (really? It was your first and only possible choice and you instantly fall for her? Maybe you should have fallen for another straight girl who would never ever consider you. You're like sixteen, you know you like girls but never liked one in specific? Then she arrives and you immediatly like/love her. Wow, this is luck! ..or maybe not.). And obviously she falls in love with you too. Ok it could happen, it's not everyday life but if it was there wouldn't be a book to write because it would be boring. My problem is, ok the girl learns to fly (she comes out, she accept herself and all her judgemental neightbours and family) but then, how will it be her life in the big world? Which are the odds she will be so lucky to find an happy and reciprocated love? It's already difficult to find someone to love if you are stright, and if you're gay it's ten time worst because we can't like everybody and your choices are a bit restricted. I know what I'm talking about and I don't mean to hurt anyone with my comment!
Let's hope she will be happy, but even with the hopeful ending this book was too heavy and hearth wretching for me. It left me drained. But if heavy is your taste then go on and let me know your thoughts, I'm curious!

<u>Actual Rating: 2.5 Stars</u>

I have <strong>very conflicted feelings</strong> about this one. On the one side it was great to see more f/f couples in YA, there is still a huge lack of them, so I was glad that I had the chance to read If I Tell You. On the other side this book contained a few problematic tropes and I wasn't happy with a lot of things. Generally, I feel like I have to say that this book is not what it seems. If I Tell You <strong>is NOT a fluffy read like the cover might suggest</strong> and what I originally thought. Of course the synopsis informs us that this book is about homophobia in a small town, so I excepted conflict, but this book was a lot darker beyond that. <strong>Homophobia is very prevalent as are slurs</strong> so this is a very heavy book to read. I think it's important to know this going into this book, so I wanted to quickly mention it here.

I wanted to give this 3 stars so badly, but after writing my Review I was comparing my likes vs. dislikes list, I'm reminded of how many problems I had with this book. I cannot say that I really enjoyed it and would even consider reading it again. Therefore, I'm ending up giving this 2.5 stars

<u><strong>What I liked</strong></u>

📚 <strong>I really felt for Alex</strong>. She is a closeted lesbian, because her mother is very conservative and strict. Her mom always finds flaws with her daughter and is very critical of her, as Alex isn't who she wants her to be. It was easy to like Alex, because you really feel for her situations and struggles that she faces. I was very angry at her mother, since she made Alex feel very self-conscious and put her down constantly. Alex is afraid to even be seen with the new girl Phoenix, who is out as a lesbian from the beginning, because her mother sees this as shameful. You can imagine what happens when she finds out that her own daughter is a lesbian. Generally I wanted to give Alex a big hug, because everyone was pretty horrible to her. She's such a nice person and I loved that we saw her passion for music!

📚 <strong>The romance was cute</strong>. I had a few problems with the romance, but I cannot deny that it was cute and that I was rooting for Phoenix and Alex the entire time. I was glad to finally see a f/f couple in YA and I was invested in their relationship. There is a lot of conflict and angst with these two of course, since they do live in a very conservative small town and Phoenix faces a lot of homophobic slurs and violence.

📚 <strong>I really liked Lin and her friendship with Alex.</strong> You know that I'm all here for girls supporting girls and being friends, so I was glad to see that we got it here. Lin was very different from Alex, but I liked the dynamic they had and how their friendship also developed throughout the book. It's also worth mentioning that Lin is Vietnamese, but since the rep isn't ownvoices I don't know how accurate this portrayal was!

📚 <strong>Alex music teacher was the best</strong>. I wish that he had adopted Alex, because he was so supportive all the time and really cared about her, her music and her dreams. Among his fellow teacher, he's very accepting and it's really hard to dislike him. You just end up loving him, because he's exactly the teacher you would want to be friends with.

<u><strong>What I had problems with</strong></u>

📚<strong> Phoenix was very pushy at times.</strong> Generally I felt like she was portrayed a bit too perfect by Alex and that led to her feeling a bit like the manic pixie dream girl trope, which was a thing that bothered me a bit. What bothered me way more was how pushy Phoenix could be. I don't like pushy people, because nothing is worse than someone else pressuring into doing something you a) don't want to do or b) are not ready to do. Phoenix did that to Alex a lot, she pushed her to pursue her music despite it being a risk and wanted to force her to do things Alex wasn't ready for e.g. sining and playing in public. Another scene I high disliked was where Phoenix wanted to force her to go sky diving (or something like that) and Alex was not ready for that. She felt pressured and didn't want to do this, Alex even called out her love interest for pushing her like that. BUT then in the end she was like 'oh no, I have to do it, Phoenix was right' which frustrated me so much, as it sends the message that it's okay to pressure someone up until the point that they finally give in, which is NOT right.

📚 <strong>Phoenix didn't really acknowledge her privilege</strong>. This happened in two cases. First when the girls talk about their dreams for the future and Alex said that she cannot follow her dream of having a music career since she does not have enough money to tak that risk. Her family is not supportive and Alex knows that once her mother finds out she is a lesbian, she cannot rely on any kind of help any longer. However, Phoenix scoffs at her and says that everyone can take a risk and should follow their dreams no matter how much money they have. <strong>What bothers me is that Phoenix has money and a lot of privilege, but she acts like it doesn't matter when it does</strong>. She literally says that anyone can go to Amsterdam for a year ... and like NO. You cannot if you don't have money!! If you have no help from your parents, if thy cannot help you because they don#t hav enough, most people have to quit adventures and focus on  getting a job or a degree so they can manage to. Phoenix didn't get tat at all. <strong>It also bothered me how Phoenix pushed Alex to come out when she knew that Alex was in a very bad situation at home</strong>. It's pretty clear that Alex' mom will take her coming out very badly and that it will put Alex safety at risk. Phoenix herself has supportive parents and doesn't get that Alex is in da ger if she comes out. She makes it all about herself and frames it like Alex has to come out at any cost otherwise, she doesn't want her. It was so messed up, because in the end it happens exactly as Alex feared it would, she gets beaten by her mother and thrown out.

📚 <strong>The romance was a bit rushed</strong>. I don't want to say insta-love, but the second Phoenix walked into the store Alex works in, Alex was smitten and couldn't stop thinking about the new girl. I would have wished for a bit more build up and Alex slowly developing deeper feelings, because here it felt like she was idealizing Phoenix a lot and making her out to be her perfect dream girl.

📚<strong> I hated Justin and how the book didn't call him out</strong>. Justin is your resident fuckboy, he believes Alex has to put him first and is generally racist, homophobic, sexist ... you get the picture. For some reason he is still Alex best friend and throughout the book he continued to act bratty and annoying when Alex befriends Phoenix brother and generally shows interest in anything other than himself. What Alex knows but never wanted to deal with is that Justin is in love with her since forever. The thing is that she's a lesbian, but not out, so that's not what she can tell him. Later she reveals it, but of course Justin acts horribly and makes it all about himself and his unrequited crush. But like ... what did he expect? Alex doesn't own him an explanation. She's not in live with him and he has to live with that! He literally said at one point that it would be best to euthanize gay people ... I have no words for how much I hated Justin. Later of course, he grows and accepts Alex - I still hate him - but another thing bothered me as well. <strong>It's portrayed as if Alex owes him something, just because he is in love with her and that's so wrong</strong>. The narrative never called him out when he kissed her against her consent and blamed her, because she didn't share his feelings. Justin thinks he's entitled to her, because he has a crush and it's a sickening notion that society in generally has about relationships. I hated that no one called it out here. Friends of Alex even had the nerve to say that Justin was a good guy (again, he said he wanted to kill everyone who's not the norm), when he was clearly not. His sister even said that Alex belonged to him, because he loved her and THAT is WRONG. Alex does not belong to Justin, because he loves her, she owes him no explanation, because she is her own person and her coming out is not something Justin should make about himself.

📚 <strong>I had huge problems with the ableist plot twist and another trope</strong>. This falls under spoilers, so I'm going to put this under my makeshift spoiler Tag. Just click the arrow and the text will show!

<spoiler>I hated how Phoenix illness was used as a plot twist. We don't know until towards the end of the book that she has a terminal disease and it bothered me that the author didn't make this clear from the beginning. <strong>Why use terminal illness for shock value?</strong> It is making me incredibly uncomfortable. It gets even more ableist as Phoenix dies in the end and Alex happily has her ending. <strong>Phoenix and her illness is literally used as a factor for further Alex storyline</strong> and it makes me sick. All the times Phoenix was so pushy? She was trying to get Alex to enjoy live because her own time was running out. I hate this narrative treating sick people as objects that can further another person.

Then there was the<strong> Bury Your Gays Trope</strong>, as Phoenix dies at the end of the book. So this books is written by a lesbian author and I didn't expect her to actually utilise this trope, something a lot of readers won't see coming as well. I was very surprised and disappointed that the author actually used this trope, because I didn't see why it had to end this way. The ending generally felt rushed and Phoenix was shoved so quickly out of the picture.</spoiler>

<strong>IN CONCLUSION</strong>: I'm glad <em>If I Tell You</em> exists as it's a <strong>f/ f romance</strong> in YA, which is something that still doesn't happen nearly enough in publishing. Despite liking the main character and feeling her struggles, <strong>I had a lot of problems with the book</strong>. The love interest was incredibly pushy and didn't acknowledge her privilege. There was an ableist plot twist and another harmful trope that let to hindering my enjoyment of the book.

Okay, uh. This was literally the best LGBT + book I've ever read. (Sorry, Simon vs. Homosapiens agenda!) If I Tell You is incredibly good story, with lovely characters, amazing plot and of course - heartbreaking scenes. And because of that I'm so hurt right now, that I can't even think about this book again.
Seriously, Alicia Tuckerman, what was that ending ?! Maybe it was a bit of a clique, but still ...
Alex is one of the characters you'll fall in love at the first sight. She's strong, beautiful, clever and abnormally sweet. You just can't hate her!
Phoenix on the other side... She's cool, sexy as hell and definitely the best character in the book.
Also Alex's best friend - Lin is cool and funny too. Love her!
Plot is kind of slow in the beginning, but after that it's okay. Alicia Tuckerman obviously knows how to write, because the book is gripping, lovely and, ehm, heartbreaking ( *** crying ***).
Absolutely recommend this!

Thanks Netgalley and publisher for ARC!

I really wish I was able to read this book, however it is not available for Kindle :( I will look into different apps!

Fuck every heterosexual out there who is a homophobe.

This book wrecked me it was that good.

Alexandra Summers is stuck.

She is stuck in Two Creeks, a too small Australian town where everyone knows everyone and everyone knows everything. Gossip is the town's currency and Alex does not want to add fuel to the fire by becoming the first openly gay high schooler in the entire town. As a result, she is stuck inside her comfortable little closet until it was blasted open by Pheonix Stone. Alex was immediately enraptured by Pheonix, who had quickly and involuntarily taken on the mantle of being the first lesbian in Two Creeks. Alex felt as though she was being pulled into two different and completely contrasting directions; Pheonix was everything Alex had ever dreamed of, but the knowledge that her sexuality would fundamentally be met with hatred, not only from the town but from her own family, was the core of Alex's inability to be truly herself. What follows is a truly inspiring and emotional romance between Alex and Pheonix; but also a story of friendship, the emotional and mental impact of homophobia, self-realisation and the multi-faceted nature of love.


Alexandra Summers is definitely a realistic character. She goes through emotional highs and lows, but fundamentally never doubts who she is. I would say at least half of the book had Alex feeling quite indecisive and insecure about the prospect of coming out to her family, and thus, to the entire town; and although at times, this became quite frustrating to read as a reader, you can only imagine how it would actually feel to be 'Alex' in this situation - her entire life is hanging in the balance.

How many Alex's have there been? Teenagers and adolescents and young adults and adults, should not have to agonise for years in order to decide whether they should or should not be who they are. That concept is emphatically underlined within this novel. Through Alex and her interaction with her family, her friends and her town - she eventually makes it impossible for others to understand that she is human and she is gay. Her heterosexual friends didn't need to 'come out', it was just assumed that they were attracted to the opposite sex because society has ingrained within all of us that heterosexuality is 'normal'. What is normal? Alex and Phoenix turn Two Creeks on its side, and I felt such pride reading about their strength and courage.

Phoenix Stone was an intriguing character. From the onset, the reader is aware that Phoenix is more than what she seems. Her mystique adds to her sensuality as a character and provides more depth to what is a romantic lead character. I say that because many a time there is romance leads especially in YA, who are just there to be romantic and provide no sort of emotional depth to the overall storyline, nor do they have a personality. However, in this case, I felt more for Phoenix than I did Alex, that is how wonderfully written Phoenix was. Her entire family was just on a different level of unique that I would love to read more about their story, especially Phoenix's brother, Van. He has so much pain and is so sensitive to the world around him, that reading his story would be an honour.

I will not go into spoiler territory because then you have no reason to read the book, but I will say that you will intensely dislike Alex's mother and you will want to slap Alex's father into action to be on his daughter's side (he eventually gets there, but still). I would also describe If I Tell You as an immersive experience. What I mean by that is, you walk in the shoes of a girl struggling to be herself, in a town that struggles with the difference in any form. Thus, the homophobia is rampant and confronting. I feel as though this representation needs to occur in a YA novel especially, as young adults and teenagers need to understand that words have such an incredible power to hurt and bring such immense pain to others.

...
If I Tell You is such an important YA novel, and I am so proud to have been witness to its publication. However, I do have one little criticism and that is the pacing of the novel. I felt as though the first half of the novel was very slow and frustrating in the sense, that Alex became more of a character who whined and complained but never did anything about it. However, the last half of the novel is where the narrative seemed to find its climax and everything seemed to occur within a hundred pages. I would have enjoyed the story a lot more if the second half of the novel was extended and given more time to watch the relationship between Alex and Phoenix blossom and watch Alex become an independent, strong and courageous gay woman.

In saying that though, I do understand that the build-up to the finale is a very significant journey and it's completely and utterly my own personal opinion, but I am quite an impatient person. As a result, I give the wonderfully poignant YA novel, If I Tell You by Alicia Tuckerman 4 out of 5 stars.

If I Tell You is based in a rural town where Alex Summers is a closeted lesbian. She meets a girl named Phoenix Stone and falls in love. This brings about questions about coming out and acceptance in her small town.

What I liked about he book was the supportive people and the homophobic people rather than it being just one or the other. I liked how Lin (yay Viet rep) and Alex’s father were there for her when she needed them.

What I didn’t like was how it seemed as though Phoenix was pushing Alex out of the closet rather than waiting for her to be ready. She clearly knew the backlash that came from being gay, but it seemed like she disregarded all of that once it came to Alex.

*I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own and do not represent the publisher or author.*

If I Tell You by Alicia Tuckerman is a recent enjoyable read for Australian LGBTQ young adult fiction. It tells the story of Alex, a teenage girl living in rural Australia, who is caught between her feelings for the new girl in town and wanting her sexuality to remain a secret. To me, it felt like a lighter, Australian version of The Miseducation of Cameron Post (a classic LGBTQ novel, though I'm sure you all know that) but instead of the story getting too bogged down in a critique on the way LGBTQ people are treated and viewed by society, it is more about finding the courage within yourself to be yourself, and that is something that is relatable to all people, no matter their identity.

The writing was the first thing that sucked me into this book. It was the perfect mix of lyrical and colloquial, and the voice was so undeniably Australian - more specifically, teenage Australian - that it made it all the more fun to read (being an Aussie myself.) Even the choice of metaphors somehow managed to sound Australian, and it was awesome that the author somehow managed to do that!

The characters were another strong point of this book. Too often in fiction, homophobic characters feel as though they are either just voices of ignorance that linger in the back of the protagonist's thoughts, or incredibly aggressive, almost exaggerated characters that are terrifying, but don't feel too real. The homophobic characters in this book, though, were well captured and their actions felt so authentic and specific that their role as antagonists was frightening. The protagonist and her friends were well balanced against that, with each of them having issues of their own and unique backgrounds that only furthered the idea of growing up and being true to yourself. For the characters who were redeemed, their arcs felt organic and empathetic, and coupled with the arcs of the main cast, a feeling of inspiration and hope was created by the end of the book.

There were a few things, however, that prevented me from giving this book five stars. The first of which was the pressure that Phoenix put on Alex to come out. It was uncomfortable to read sometimes, and though I love the idea of Phoenix being the person who helps Alex find her courage, she came across as very aggressive in some scenes. I do believe that this was one of her character flaws (because it makes sense when considered with certain spoilers) but I would have liked to see Alex fight back a little more, just to reinforce that every decision she made was hers entirely.

I also feel very conflicted about the ending of this book. I won't say too much about it to avoid spoilers, but it seemed very sudden and caught me off guard considering the tone of the book. I liked that it was a strong reinforcement of everything Alex had learned throughout the book, but it was also one of the biggest (and worst) tropes for LGBTQ characters in mainstream books, TV and movies, and I was shocked to see it happen. Perhaps if it weren't already such a renowned and disliked trope, the ending could have been more enjoyable, but unfortunately, this isn't the case in our world. I also would have liked the resolution to be a little longer, just to allow for the whirlwind of feelings and shock to settle a bit.

Overall, this book deserves a 4-star rating because it is a light and enjoyable book that deals with LGBTQ issues in an inspiring and uniquely Australian way. It is by no means a revolutionary piece of literature, and it uses a lot of common YA tropes, but I never found myself feeling bored from the story or feeling that it was cliche. It is an enjoyable coming of age, LGBTQ story with a enough romance, drama and humour to keep you wanting to read more.

This novel sucked me in with a fantastic tale of overcoming oppression to be your true self, and an absolutely adorable romance. Then it went all Nicholas Sparks/Jodie Picoult on me and killed a lesbian. I thought we were finally beyond all of this in YA fiction. I don’t expect the first person you fall in love with to be your one and only for the rest of your life but that doesn’t mean you have to kill them in order to make other opportunities possible.
I did genuinely love If I Tell You, however, for all that I found it rather problematic in the end. I thought the writing was fantastic, and if my only problem with the novel was that a lesbian was killed, then I think it’s still a pretty OK story.

If I Tell You is a debut novel by an Australian author. This is an own-voices lesbian romance story, but also more than that. It delves into familial and friend relationships. It’s a story of courage and living your best life. I enjoyed this book and look forward to reading more from the author.

I found this hard to put down, it was an emotional and beautiful story about claiming who we are and not being afraid to jump. Alex lives in a small town with a lot of small minded people, especially her mother. I find it hard to fathom the hate and dislike that people feel for people who are gay or different. I felt that this was a realistic portrayal of some peoples behaviour towards gay people, I wish it wasn't so and hope with all my heart that people learn to accept and not judge. It was a very Aussie story and I really liked that, I related to the majority of the characters, though certainly not the homophobic ones and I loved Lin, Alex's best friend. There were some very emotional twists in the story so maybe have a tissue nearby.

Thanks to NetGalley and Pantera Press for a copy in return for an honest review

Would have loved to actually be able to read and review this book, however it was only provided as an ePub format, which is not compatible with Kindle. Please, NetGalley, make this very clear on the description page so that reviewers do not request books which they'll be unable to read on their eReader of choice. I contacted the publisher but never received a reply for a new file type. This book looks good, but I'll have to read it when it's published instead.

I did not like this book. I can appreciate the message and story that this book is trying to tell but the execution and editing felt very clunky. The ending was too over the top dramatic for me personally. I do think that there are readers out there that will connect with this story and see themselves represented in it.

You know all those short, sweet films on YouTube with not exactly complicated plots, but that, despite their flaws, lead you into hours of binge-watching? Because they're enjoyable, easy to follow and create this corner of warmth where you can just sit back and relax.

This book is the equivalent of that. At least in the beginning. Towards the end, it becomes quite an emotional rollercoaster. Based on certain tropes, without fully fleshed-out characters, except maybe for the main one, it still managed to keep me engaged. Would I have prefered to read something a tad more fresh without overused formulas such as the Manic Pixie Dream Girl or Best Friend Who's Been In Love With the MC Since Forever? Sure. But, unfortunately, a story featuring two lesbians as the protagonists is original enough these days. Additionally, sometimes we all need a break and this helped me reach a comforting, familiar place where I could simply let myself be pumped up by the wonderful relationship developing, uplifting, gay-and-proud moments, inside jokes, encouraging talks about bravery and follow the protagoinst as she comes to terms with who she is. Her journey and the reactions she has to handle from the people living in that close-minded village are deeply moving. Then the ending hits you like a brick in the stomach and you are left gaping for air. A part of me wished the story wouldn't have been taken there, yet I couldn't help the feelings that flowed in.

Also, the fact that this is written by an amazing, inspiring woman who is part of the LGBT community and uses her voice to make a change definitely adds value to the story for me. This is only her debut and I'm really eager to read more of her work. We need more diverse books written by diverse authors who actually know what they are talking about, especially in the YA genre.

I wanted to love this book, It fell a little flat though. That being said, the rural setting and the honesty of the protagonist spoke to me.

This coming of age story follows, Alex, a teenage girl living in rural Australia living in fear that someone will find out her secret, that she is a lesbian. Living in a small town with small minded people, Alex knows that she will not be accepted for who she is, so she is happy living in secret until she can move away and be who she wants to be when she graduates high school.
Enter Phoenix Stone, the out and proud lesbian whose family just moved to town. She doesn't care what anyone has to say about who she is and thinks every day is for living the life you wish.
Alex soon starts to have feelings for Phoenix and realises that in life sometimes you just need a little courage to jump!
I flew through this book! It was so beautifully written and within reading the first few pages I felt transported to a country town and honestly could feel the summer heat coming through. I loved all the Australian vernacular and honestly hope Alicia Tuckerman writes more novels set in Australia because it was truly refreshing to read.
I liked the ensemble of characters in this novel, particularly Alex's very supportive dad and also her best friend Lin. While her other best friend, Justin, was quite annoying and honestly at times completely ignorant, he did manage to get over his prejudice and redeem himself.
Not only will this book break your heart, it will rip it out and then smash it to pieces so grab some tissues and jump right in!

After 17 failed attempts at a broken download between cellphone and laptop, downloading 3 different programs to convert this book from one file to another and successfully getting it onto my kindle, this book was worth going through the damn fire for. So here I am, at 2AM bawling my eyes out because the courage of Alex, the love she found, being able to relate to being shut down by homophobia and the ache in my heart reading this damn book that hit so close to home. The friendships she had, the pain from her mother, the relationships that were built and killed and god the twist, THE GOD DAMN TWIST!!! Do me a favor, get this damn book, and read it. Never put it down. I haven’t felt this much heartbreak since the book “Why We Broke Up” by Daniel Handler, except this one hurt more and it well had lesbians. The end.