Cover Image: How Not To Be a Boy

How Not To Be a Boy

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Member Reviews

I have a thing for memoirs, which is why I decided to read Webb's HOW NOT TO BE A BOY. His story, while interesting and enjoyable in itself, flowed well but felt a tiny bit lacking. His hardships are his own and so it's difficult for me to leave feedback because I spent a lot of the book resisting the urge to say "quit whining"

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Honestly a really nice contribution to the field of memoirs from actor/performers. I'm a long-time fan of Robert Webb's work and was curious to see how he would approach a memoir specifically through the frame of gender. Here's what you get - a strikingly charming memoir on how Webb has experienced emotions and relationships throughout his younger life and adulthood especially. I laughed and I cried and sometimes kind of around the same time. I particularly appreciated Webb's reflections on his experience with grief from his mother's death and his bisexuality (unrelated themes, of course lol). Towards the end it feels a bit rushed, but overall really nice, thoughtful, and boundary-pushing.

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I am currently purchasing books for our secondary school library for our senior students. I am trying to provide a balance of genres and periods and really try and introduce them to a wide range of modern fiction and non-fiction. This book would definitely go down well with a hypercritical teenage audience as it has a bit of everything - great insights and a narrative style that draws you in and keeps you reading whilst also making you think about a wide range of issues at the same time. I think that school libraries are definitely changing and that the book we purchase should provide for all tastes and reflect the types of books that the students and staff go on to enjoy after leaving school. HNTBAB is the kind of book that you can curl up with and totally immerse yourself in and I think it will definitely go down well at my school. I think that it was the perfect blend of A page-turning read with a strong narrative voice too! I think it would be a big hit with our seniors and will definitely recommend that we buy a copy as soon as we can.

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Love Robert Webb. The book reads like his comedy. Highly recommended even if you're not a super fan. I've seen some of his work and was interested enough to pick up the book, and he crafts his world skillfully, drawing you in even if you're not super familiar with it.

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I felt like Robert Webb's voice was in my head when I was reading this. It was like being in an episode of Peep Show for a few hundred pages!

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A brutally honest autobiography from Robert Webb, one half of the comedy duo Mitchell and Webb.

Robert writes about his early life in the 1970s and his difficulties 'fitting in' to a masculine world with all the preconceptions that go with it. Should a young boy yield to the pressure and try to become the stereotypical male or stand up for his right to be different?

I found the use of irony profound and extremely touching as Robert describes his struggle with a father, who believed that it was bad to show emotion. His relationship with his mother, on the other hand, was tender and extremely emotional.

I'm a similar age and found the many references to growing up in the Seventies extremely relatable. The writing style was a little chaotic but I think that was intentional to portray the author's personality and I found the chapters a little too long. There is no doubt that the words are written from the heart and the dry humour continues throughout the book.

This is not just a celebrity memoir but a raw, emotional yet funny read from a sensitive, deep thinking man.

Thank you to the Publisher and NetGalley for providing a copy of the book, which I have reviewed honestly.

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***I received an e-copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for this opportunity.***

This was a great book. The story was captivating and kept me interested throughout. Can’t wait for more from this author.

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Thank you Netgalley for this ARC.
I highly recommend this honest, at times raw memoir written as a reflection of a younger self, a male who ‘didn’t fit in’.

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Robert Webb is best known as Jeremy “Jez” Usborne in the cult UK tv series Peep Show, bumbling through his awkward and anxiety-inducing existence alongside comedy partner David Mitchell. They also have their own suitably absurd sketch show, That Mitchell and Webb Look, that is filled with parodies and spoofs of pop culture and British life. If you haven’t seen either of these shows before, I definitely recommend catching a couple of episodes on Netflix before reading this book.

I’d never really paid that much attention to Robert Webb before – mainly because he’s been overshadowed by David Mitchell, who must have now appeared on every UK panel show around (and we are all the richer for it). So, I didn’t really know what to expect from this book. I’ve watched both his shows before but as the style of comedy tends to make me insanely anxious (especially Peep Show), it’s generally not a fun experience for me. I was, however, very interested in all the press attention this book was receiving because it wasn’t your typical memoir from a male writer/actor/comedian. If you’ve stumbled across this book too because of what you’ve heard, then I definitely recommend you give it a go. This is a very personal and tender account of what it’s like to grow up as a man, the expectation to perform this tired and toxic concept of masculinity, and the struggle to have meaningful relationships with family, friends, partners and children while trying to uphold this. It’s also laugh-out-loud funny, pretty much the entire way through the book. One of the loveliest things about this book for me was reading it in tandem with my male partner on our beach holiday; not only was he chortling the whole way through this book but, being only a couple of years younger than Webb, he identified a lot with what was being described. A really wonderful read.

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I know Robert Webb from The Peep Show and knew that I wanted to read this as soon as I saw he had a book. It's a great read, and a nice insight into the mind of a modern man. It was nice to read about gender defining from a man/boy point of view, and is full of raw emotion.

Very well written, and was better than I was expecting. I don't usually enjoy memoirs, but I would highly recommend this one.

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I was really looking forward to getting stuck into this. I've appreciated 'Mitchell & Webb' for many years and was looking forward to reading about Webb's life. There were points I laughed, at his take on what the expectations were on him as a boy and at his experiences but I found it really difficult to get into. The differing voices of him as a child talking to him as an adult didn't really feel to fit and some of it felt a bit confused, hopping from one experience to another without much linking in between.

It could be that I just came to this book at a really busy time at work, so it felt quite disjointed reading it in small snippets but to me, it didn't really feel to flow very well.

It did make me laugh though, and I could imagine Webb as a boy as he retold and relived his own experiences.

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'Boys don't cry, boys are good at sport, boys don't fall in love with other boys, men are good at directions... ' In this memoir, Robert Webb, comedy writer and actor of Peep Show, That Mitchell and Webb Look and Concrete Cow, examines these 'rules"'about masculinity and asks whether they are actually of any use.

"I don't know what the words 'masculinity' and 'femininity' have to offer. Avoiding them, we still have a massive language of more precise words to describe individuals and their behaviour which somehow manage not to come pre-loaded with a steam tanker of gender manure from the last century. If we want to say that David beckham puts a lot of thought into his appearance, then we can say... oh, I've just done it. I didn't need to bring his sex into it. Or his attitude to sex...I could say that Lily Allen's songs are full of swearwords which are at odds with her 'femininity' - or I could get a life."

How Not To Be A Boy takes the reader from Webb's traumatic early childhood with his abusive father, through his school days, crushes and relationships to his years at Cambridge where he met his friend and co-conspirator David Mitchell. He shares his embarrassments as well as his successes, and reflects on the various role models who contributed to his ideas about what makes a boy, and a man.

The book is harrowing in parts, especially his experiences with his father, his mother's death from cancer and Webb's subsequent depression and anxiety. He writes frankly about his own failures as a boyfriend, husband and father, and what he has learned from them. There are also plenty of lighter moments, such as his experiences with football:

"It's a long pass and I welcome the sight of the ball arching towards me in the same way that a quadriplegic nudist covered in jam welcomes the sight of a hornet"

While this book will no doubt appeal to Webb's fans, it will probably have a broader appeal as well since so much of what he talks about is universal, or nearly so. Even if you have never heard of him there will be something in here to relate to, be it gender stereotypes, teenage awkwardness, young love, grief or the music of Michael Jackson. How to Be a Boy is thoughtful, entertaining and thoroughly readable.

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As a fan of Mitchell and Webb, I thought this book was fun to read. Webb's voice came through loud and clear, even without the audiobook. He has strong feminist views, which were informed by his early experiences. I'm not sure if that entirely worked for me as a theme for the book, but I appreciated his openness and life story, even the *minty* bits.

<i> Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy of this book. All views are my own.</i>

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I've been vaguely familiar with Webb as a performer for a few years, but I've never really spent much time with his work. I tried Peep Show, but it wasn't for me, and That Mitchell and Webb Look is on my eventual to-watch list. All of which is to say that I wasn't coming to this book as a fan.

All that said, when I had the opportunity to read this, I jumped at the chance. I remember a couple of interviews popping up on my YouTube feed when this was released in the UK, so it was already on my radar. I'm so glad I got the chance to read this. It's a hard-learned lesson about toxic masculinity in the form of memoir. It's a good read well worth your time.

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I was really looking forward to reading this and had heard it talked about with Simon Mayo on Radio 2. Whilst the early chapters reflected a childhood fraught with difficulties, I wasn’t prepared for the later chapters to be so filled with bad language. This book seemed at times self-indulgent and at other times it verged on brilliant. Disappointing overall.

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I really enjoyed this memoir. It was funny and insightful. Even if you've never heard of the author I think you would enjoy this book. It takes a look at masculinity in our modern world as well as tells us about the authors life. It was an enjoyable read.

I would like to thank Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a review copy in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion of it.

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I know actor and comedian Robert Webb for playing Jeremy Usborne in the brilliant Peep Show, but as much as I love the show, I wouldn’t normally be that fussed about reading his biography. However, this is a bio with a difference.

Webb has looked back over his life and identified that ridiculous gender stereotypes men and women are – from birth – almost conditioned to adhere to, have been detrimental to him in so many ways. He spent much of his youth feeling that he didn’t fit into the typical male stereotype, then sometimes tried to fit in with it and didn’t like that version of himself either. So, in this book, he not only points out how damaging the whole concept of masculinity actually is, but shares how he’s doing something about it: ‘Reimagining masculinity is worth doing for its own sake, but in my case I know Ezzie and Dory (his daughters) are watching me.’

Each chapter title is one of the ‘rules’ boys and men unwittingly follow: Boys Are Brave, Boys Don’t Cry – he takes the stereotype and tells his story by showing how he didn’t fit into this mould of masculinity. He discusses his complex relationship with his dad, how he copes (or doesn’t really cope) with his mother’s death as a teenager, his sheer tenacity to get himself into Cambridge University, his bisexual past and he is very open about his failings (which he’s working on) as a husband and father.

As a mum of two small boys, How Not to be a Boy has definitely made me think about all these ridiculous ‘rules’ that society might assume them to play by just because they are boys (the same, of course, applies to girls.) Robert Webb is already educating his young children on this, ‘The Trick’ is the family code-word for the incoming tide of gender bullshit that Ezzie, Dory and their friends (including the boys) will spend their lives wading through.’ It’s a great take away from the book – let’s teach our kids to ignore gender stereotypes, be who they want to be and not feel they have to act a certain way just because they happened to be born a girl or a boy.

How Not to be a Boy is a hilarious, super enjoyable read that effortlessly tells Robert’s story while eloquently making an important point about masculinity and gender roles, it’s a truly brilliant memoir, pop it on your TBR list!

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It took me a couple of attempts to get into this one, and the chapters are very long. But despite this, I still enjoyed the book.. I'm not a huge fan or Robert Webb but still found this funny, entertaining and a little sad. The gender message of this book was perhaps a little overdone and I would have liked more stories from his later life. 3 stars.

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I usually hate autobiographies or celebrity memoirs. But this is so much more than that. It's more about Webb exploring big ideas rather than talking about himself. It could be in danger of coming across as arrogant or preachy, and yet avoids this completely through its brilliant wit. It was equal parts hilarious and sad, and I think is an important book for everyone to read. It felt real and inclusive in a way that autobiographies so rarely do. One of my top non-fiction recommends for the year, without a doubt.

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Great book with some keen insight into the mind of a man who can admit he was a bit of a cad in his younger years, but developed into a fully self-aware man who actually understands what makes a boy and what makes a man.

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