Hilarious and educational. A much-needed voice in the LGBTQ+ world, and a smart Black queer take on societal issues.

I went into this not knowing a thing about Michael Arceneaux. But that title ... I mean, how can you not pick it up?

Since reading this, I've looked him up, and I'm glad. He's adorable and funny and has another book coming out, which I am for sure going to read.

I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I started the book, but the essays were funny and sad and real and just ran the gamut. I felt like each essay had something to bring, though a few of them were slower and harder to get through than others, but I've pretty much come to expect that with any sort of collection of works.

My Thoughts:

- Right off the bat, I'm going to put it out there: there was a lot of cursing. Which I personally found charming and colorful, because it reminded me so much of the way some of my friends talk. I mention it, though, because if you have a problem with swearing, this book will probably be a hard pass for you.

- The essays are written in a very casual voice that has all the familiarity and warmth of two friends having a chat around a bonfire. Since I didn't know anything about Michael Arceneaux going in, I was expecting his essays to be a bit more ... formal? Which is sometimes hard for me to really get into. This was definitely not the case, though. The writing is every bit as professional as one might expect, but the voice felt much more accessible and welcoming to me, and made it a really enjoyable and easy read.

- The essays are highly relatable and the struggles almost universal, even if the reader doesn't actually have much in common with the author. I mean, I'm almost the opposite of Michael Arceneaux. I'm none of the following, and he is all of them: homosexual, male, from the South, from the city, a victim of abuse, single and on the dating scene. Heck, I'm even just barely black. Our similarities are pretty much nonexistent. However, the themes Arceneaux discusses are pretty much universal: money struggles, dating struggles, self-discovery, self-doubt, struggling with religion and beliefs, all those times our parents scarred us growing up despite, perhaps, their best intentions. It can sometimes be hard to read something that feels so out there that you imagine you can't possibly relate, but that was happily not the case with this book.

- I Can't Date Jesus provides a bit of a peek behind the curtain as far as the experiences of homosexual men and, particularly, homosexual black men, and all the many facets of what that may mean. Or at least Arceneaux's experience of it, obviously, because experiences can differ. There are several experiences that Arceneaux talks about that had a profound impact on him, as a gay man, which I had never even considered. There are lots of facets of life that Arceneaux touches on from his particular perspective: dating, marriage, coming out, religion, race relations, etc.

- Arceneaux has a sense of humor that tickles my funny bone. It's not going to be for everybody. It's a very specific sort of humor—a little sarcasm mixed with dark humor mixed with sassiness and just a touch of brutal honesty. It wasn't laugh-out-loud funny, as very few personal essays or memoirs are, but it was entertaining, nonetheless, and kept me invested in the story.

Sticking Points:

- As with all essay collections (or any aggregated work in general), there are going to be misses. That's sort of just the nature of the genre. There were definitely essays (or parts of essays) that lost my attention and I skimmed, because I just wasn't all that interested in them. C'est la vie.

I heard a Fresh Air interview with the author and knew I had to get this book.

I Can't Date Jesus has a little bit of content for everyone. Arcenaux is gay, Black, Southern (Texan) male dealing with modern dating culture. He also talks about his (and his family's) difficult relationship with his father as well as his encounters with Christianity. He also talks a little bit about being a writer and perceptions and realities surrounding that contract lifestyle.

"Yeah, when you're basically house-trained for well over a decade into a religion and a certain way of life, it's totally free will by the time you decide to join the church at sixteen or seventeen." #truthbomb

Arcenaux comes across like that kid in school that always has something smarta** to say. So I was a huge fan. Funny, realistic read about that 22nd century beyonce lovin life.

I chose this book based solely on Roxane Gay's raving review on Goodreads, and am glad I did. At times laugh out loud funny, this is a poignant collection of personal essays from a perspective far different from my own. Arceneaux's accounts of growing up in a religious household, and coming of age as a gay black man, are heart-wrenching and eye opening. He tackles oftentimes difficult subject matter with honesty and a self deprecating sense of humor that is endearing. These essays are important and took a great deal of bravery to complete and publish.

An enjoyable read that didn't disappoint! Being from Houston and fellow Bey aficionado, I was excited to delve into this journey from another Houstonian's perspective. In my opinion, the read transcended sexual orientation definitions and delivered the experience of the angst a person faces when navigating their own way for the first time. I enjoyed the wit and the shade and found myself nodding in agreement in many instances. Overall, a must-read in my book.

I don't think I've read Arceneaux's work before and now I never want to stop. This should be required reading for everyone.

Roxane Gay summed it up best when she said "There are stories that simply demand to be told and Michael Arceneaux’s is one such story. " This book is an eye opening look into a world I'm not a part of, and offers a range and honesty that I wasn't expecting. Beautiful read.

I’ve been looking forward to this book all summer and it was well worth the wait. Michael has such a distinctive voice, and his darkly hilarious (and sometimes deeply sad) commentary on sexuality, dating, race and pop culture really impacted me. I could relate to many of his struggles (coming out to your family, bad dates, discussing homosexuality in the church) while still laughing my ass off. It was a great break from some of the heavier books I’ve been reading lately and a definite recommend for anyone who already finished David Sedaris’ Calypso and is craving another book in a similar vein.

This is a funny, honest and poignant memoir which I thoroughly enjoyed reading. The author’s perspective is one I’m not familiar with, so I found this book incredibly informative and eye-opening.

4/4.5 stars- The perspective of this memoir is one that I think is much needed and I would love to see more of: what does it look like to reckon with people and institutions that on some level don't want you, even when you have lingering love or affection from them? Michael Arceneaux grapples with these questions very thoughtfully on many levels: as a "recovering Catholic," as a gay child of a religious mother, as an adult child of an alcoholic and abusive father, as a black gay man in a white dominated gay culture, etc. etc. I found this to be very moving, and I admire how he unfolded the story, adding layers and nuances as each chapter progressed. This book is definitely funny at times, but I would say that is not the overall tone of the book. If that is your expectation, I think you would be disappointed or confused, so I wanted to clarify that despite the comedic tone of the title itself (which is great, btw), this is not a humorous memoir or an ironic take on pop culture. Rather, there are funny moments and observations about pop culture that are incorporated into the larger personal story he is telling. All told, I really enjoyed this, particularly the religious aspects, and am excited to read more from him in the future.

Also, big cosign on a wholesale rejection of Beytheism. Life is too short.

Though I’ve never read any of the author’s previous work, I still wanted to try reading this and it was a very entertaining read. Michael’s style is very conversational, like he is just talking to us about all his feelings. His issues about his father’s abuse, his very religious mother, his paranoia about intimacy - all heavy topics are written in a very humorous way. I was obviously expecting a little more political commentary since Michael is very opinionated, but the book concentrates more on his many unsuccessful dating attempts quite graphically. This book definitely wouldn’t have worked for me if not for his quick wit and self-deprecating nature while discussing the most impactful situations in his life. I would definitely recommend it.

I haven’t read anything by Michael Arceneaux before, but when I heard he was from Houston like me and saw the title I knew I wanted to read it. This was compared to You Can't Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain and I loved that book last year.

This guy is hilarious as hell and he kept me laughing while reading. The style of the book feels as if we are having dinner and he’s telling me about his life. It’s very laid back but don’t think that he’s not hitting you with some hard-hitting truths about the world. I learned a lot from reading about the obstacles he had to face and go through as a gay black man. We also get topics from race, religion, and his love for Beyonce.

I love his candor and his sense of humor:
“You want to learn how to give up on humanity? Ride the bus in L.A.”

“Are you a homosexual?”
“Yes, as long as women still come with vaginas.”

My favorite part of the book was all of the Houston references. People outside of Houston might not understand them, but I loved seeing my city in a book.

I did have to knock some stars off because it a little heavy in unnecessary information and also very heavy on sexual topics. That doesn’t bother me in the slightest but I know that some people might not enjoy it.

All in all, this book was entertaining as it was informational and I can’t wait to read more from him.

**Quotes are from an ARC and are subject to change upon publication.

Michael Arceneaux has written one of the most highly anticipated releases of summer 2018. His memoir explores his personal experience as a creative, sensitive man who also happens to be black, gay, and raised Catholic in the South. With wit and charm, he tells his story, but it is a story that is relatable to anyone who has been marginalized or on the outside. And, hopefully, it will lead to broader understanding in a very polarized time.

Contender for fave memoir title of 2018

Although not familiar with the work of Michael Arceneaux, I was intrigued to explore this collection of memoir essays. Even though this book didn't have me rolling on the floor with belly laughs, I enjoyed the feel of the book. As if, Michael Arceneaux, was sitting across from me in a cafe and pouring out his perspectives on the Catholic faith, his struggles with coming out to family and friends, thoughts on dating/marriage, American politics, and his love for Beyonce. But I guess if we were really having coffee I would probably be shushing him to stop talking about his blowjobs

I must say I applaud the author for his approach to the topic of his struggle. As a gay man who struggles with acceptance and spirituality he shows what his life has been. I think that he also shows that no matter our struggle whether internal or external we should always have hope for a better future.

I really thought I was going to go through all of 2018 only reading books written by women, but Michael Arcenaux’s debut I Can’t Date Jesus sounded too intriguing to ignore. Despite not reading any of Arceneaux’s work before, I really enjoyed reading his memoir essays. He’s a big shot in the journalism world, particularly known for writing from the gay and black POV, but you don’t need to know his previous work to dive into this! Arceneaux brilliantly writes about the tensions between his family, religion, sexuality, professional goals, Beyoncé, and beyond. I dug all of the Texas references (some of my favorites were deep cuts that people outside of Texas might not understand… but people read that kind of stuff all of the time about NYC, so don’t let that dissuade you) and enjoyed reading about his reflections upon how his experiences, both during youth and more recently, have greatly shaped the man Arceneaux is today.

Michael Arceneaux's I Can't Date Jesus is a funny, frank memoir, covering topics from spirituality - no Beytheists allowed! - to sexuality - Arceneaux, a gay man, movingly recounts his fractured coming-out to his family and the shame and guilt he still feels over his family's treatment of a gay uncle who died of AIDS. The book's strength is in the sections that explore how Arceneaux struggles to reconcile these different facets of his identity.