Having recently finished “If You Love Me: A Mother's Journey Through Her Daughter's Addiction” by Maureen Cavanagh, I am happy to have had the chance to read the e-book copy; thank you NetGalley and Henry Holt and Company!

This book was a tough yet necessary book to read, I can only imagine the emotions that Ms. Cavanagh dealt with as she wrote it. One of the most relatable quotes was this one:

"I am grieving for someone who is still alive."

Those who are in this heart-breaking battle, and dealing with a loved ones substance abuse disorder, will find resilience and hope throughout these pages. This amazing mother wrote her truth, and shared her knowledge for others desperate as they struggle through dark days. I am glad to know that this book is available for our community; it's a very important resource for our library collection.

This book is certainly gripping. It sucks you in right away and refuses to let go. It had me sobbing repeatedly. While that may not sound like a recommendation, it is. It affected me deeply and it is so important to get this information out there.

I could do without most of the language, especially as it makes it harder for me to recommend to some people. But it really should be required reading, especially in school, arming kids with knowledge and putting them on their guard to what drugs and addiction really are.

Addiction runs in my family, generation after generation. So much of this was like reading clips of my own life, and yet there were still things I didn't know.

I've always hated hearing that addiction is a disease, because regardless of what happened afterward, you made those poor choices initially, with no regard for yourself or anyone who loves you, and saying it's a disease seems to take the responsibility off of you and makes you a victim. That frustrated me. Despite that, I never felt like ignorance or a bad decision for whatever reason deserved a life sentence of misery and suffering and bondage.

But Ms. Cavanagh educated me on the biology behind addiction: "'... drugs cause unnaturally high spikes in dopamine (a chemical that's released when a person does something that their brain judges to be beneficial, and the release makes them feel good),' she explains, 'which causes the brain to adjust to produce less dopamine, and drug users eventually continue their use <i> just to feel normal again </i>, because their baseline level of dopamine has become very low.'" This shook me.

She goes on to talk about addiction being a game of "Russian Roulette: Genetics Edition" and how she got the empty chamber. Me too. I have never been so humbled and so grateful. And also so terrified for my kids, knowing the genetics that have been passed on to them. At least I'm informed and can try to be proactive.

She talks about how often it starts with unsuspecting kids with sports injuries getting prescriptions for pain meds. I was horrified. I can't tell you how many of these stories had me in tears, but the one that left the deepest wound on my soul was reading about a person addicted to drugs being acutely aware of just how much the were taking and how close to the edge they were. I always thought of overdoses as ignorance- one time too many, overestimating what their body could handle, or just being so out of their minds that they had no idea what they were doing. It never occurred to me that it was suicide. That it was misery and they desperately wanted escape and could find no other way. My heart is permanently broken.

This book is SO important. To end the stigma, to spread awareness, resources, compassion, and hope. Read this book and recommend it to every you know. I know I will.

Maureen Cavanagh has written an honest, unflinching memoir about what it is like to be the mother of someone addicted to drugs. She covers the time period from when she first realized that her daughter had a problem, up through almost present day. There is no resolution, but I'd say there hardly ever is when someone is addicted to heroin. It will be a life long struggle for Cavanagh's daughter, Kaitlin.

There are many well written books out now about the opioid epidemic, but Cavanagh's is the first I've seen that takes such a personal approach. I respect her honesty.

My one real complaint would be that it stopped feeling very personal. Kaitlin was in and out of rehab, and we didn't get much of an idea what she did when she was there or even what she was doing while out on the streets. Yes, we got told of a few arrests and how Cavanagh and her ex husband were constantly out looking for her, but it felt like an incomplete picture. In that respect, it got a bit repetitive. It was fascinating and inspiring to learn of how Cavanagh founded Magnolia New Beginnings, but it would have been nice to see more of Kaitlin's story too.

This is a very relevant book and anyone who has a family member or friend that is an addict would benefit from reading it.

If You Love Me: A Mother's Journey Through Her Daughter's Opioid Addiction
by Maureen Cavanagh. First off, I would like to thank Netgalley for my arc of this book. Also, I want to thank the author and her daughter for being brave enough to share their story. This was an honor to read. While my review is super late it doesn’t speak to how amazing this book actually is. I went through lots this year emotionally with the loss of my grandma and while I was still reading, I found it hard to sit down and review and still be objective. This book gets you from page one and doesn’t let you go until long after you are done. Maureen does a beautiful job detailing the emotional journey for her family while dealing with this addiction. I want anyone who reads this book to get something out of it, you will feel every emotion on every page and after your done you will want to find ways to want to help others in this situation. For me personally it showed me that I am in the wrong profession and should be working in a field to help others. All and all 5 painful stars well done.

Quite moving. I'm lucky to have received a free copy from NetGalley on behalf of Henry Holt, because otherwise this book may not have been on my radar. Though I have several "academic" books on my to-be-read shelf about America's opioid crisis, I liked reading a firsthand account of a mother in the trenches fighting for her daughter Katie's survival and coming close to losing her own well-being in the process. Maureen has done so much good for so many other young adults (and their parents) struggling to recover from addiction. She made it clear how traumatic it is for all parties involved as months went by she and Katie continue to approach the precipice's edge, vacillating between a close relationship and a strained one as Katie's drug use also stops and starts. Maureen showed such courage especially as she accepted the plea for help from the young man who originally got Katie hooked on heroin. If you want a brutal, heartfelt read, this is for you.

The author did a brilliant job of writing a raw account of what it was like to watch her daughter battle an opioid addiction and then become an advocate for other families fighting similar battles. I could feel the frustration and hope that she felt at different points of this battle and felt for her, as her pain was coming through the pages.

Grab the Kleenex because you will need it for this beautifully told story. It wrapped its fingers around my throat and just would not let go. Absolutely add to your TBR because you will not be disappointed and seriously what's one more book? There's just no reason as to why your TBR pile can't pile up as high as you want it. LOL. Honestly this story stayed with me long after I finished reading it. Happy reading!

The bond that a mother shares with her child is unspeakable. For most mothers there is nothing their child can do that will break that bond. Moms stand with their child, through thick and thin, even if it kills them. You don't ask a mom if she loves her child, you as a mom how much she loves them.

Maureen Cavanagh is a divorced mother of four, adjusting to the life of an empty nester. Her youngest child is off to college and Maureen is trying to figure out the next phase of her life. It takes one seemingly ordinary night and one missing pair of diamond earrings to turn Maureen's world upside down.

Maureen's youngest daughter Katie has been acting strange lately and it doesn't take long for Maureen to put the pieces together. Missing spoons, missing jewelry that is worth thousands of dollars, and a daughter that is not acting like herself. There is no way the thoughts swirling in Marureen's mind could be true could they? Katie is a normal young adult with her whole life ahead of her! But once confronted Katie confesses: she is addicted to heroine.

Katie's parents immediately get her away from the boyfriend that they blame for getting her addicted in the first place, and put her into a detox program thinking this will be the end of the ordeal. They soon realize this is just the beginning.

If You Love Me is Maureen's fight for her daughter's life. She tells of the crack houses that she found Katie in on various occasions, the trips in and out of multiple rehabilitation clinics, and the numerous overdoses that should've killed Katie but thankfully didn't. This is truly is a mother's worst nightmare and Maureen Cavanagh is living it.

I could not put this book down and finished it within a few hours of starting. Your heart aches for both Katie and Maureen, as well as the other heartbreaking stories of others who have had to deal with addictions and their consequences. Having two teenage boys myself I can only imagine going through what Maureen, as well as countless other parents, have had to endure in dealing with a child with an addiction.

If You Love Me is a must read for everyone, even those whose lives have never been touched by drug addiction, so that light can be shown on the truths of Substance Abuse Disorders, and that people in our society will realize that no one is immune.

After returning to her home near Salem, MA following a sunny winter vacation get away in Puerto Rico with her partner Peter, author activist Maureen Cavanaugh had no idea how drastically her life would change. It seemed to happen in an instant—right after she discovered all her treasured (heirloom) jewelry was gone. “If You Love Me: A Mother’s Memoir of a Daughter’s Opioid Addiction” is a powerful must- read of a mother’s powerful and unconditional love for her child and refusal to stop battling her daughter’s addiction to heroin.

Written between the winter of 2015-17, Maureen and her former husband Mike searched the streets and abandoned buildings for their beloved daughter Katie. There was no time for blame, or to analyze the past, or understand how or why Katie’s addiction occurred. On Facebook Maureen was in contact with addiction specialists and other parents of addict’s. Citations, tickets summons to appear in court were piling up in Maureen’s mailbox, Katie was cited with possession of heroin and eventually solicitation-- and she was nowhere to be found.
Maureen had contacts to get Katie into rehab, Mikes health insurance would pay for treatment. Katie could be free of the substance use disorder that had swiftly altered life as they knew it. Maureen would learn startling facts about the treatment industry: it involved big business, the cycling of clients to various facilities for health insurance payments, substandard facilities were located in poor or questionable neighborhoods. With the lack of trained staff and little accountability, Maureen’s calls to the Fort Lauderdale, Florida treatment center where Katie was admitted per recommendation largely went unreturned. The two year period involving Katie’s substance use disorder was nothing short of a “horror show”. Mother and daughter would come to a full circle as Maureen accepted the fact she could not force Katie to change, relapse was common and always a terrifying possibility.

This harrowing and gripping story unfolds in the present tense, as readers turn pages we do not know if Katie will make it. With her admittance to an endless number of treatment centers, she overdoses and ends up hospitalized too many times to count. In 2016, 64,000 people perished in the worst drug epidemic in American history. In 2017, the death toll rose to 72,000 lives lost in opioid overdoses and substance use related causes. Relatives and friends of addicts have formed networks and resources of support to raise awareness, educate, advocate and facilitate life- saving treatment. Maureen Cavanaugh is the founder of Magnolia New Beginnings a national non-profit agency that provides educational resources, peer support and advocacy on a national level-- also sober living assistance is offered to those in recovery from substance use disorder. Currently, Maureen is studying at UMass Boston to become certified in drug and alcohol counseling, and serves on a number of committee’s and task forces that support treatment and recovery from substance use and addiction. With thanks to Henry Holt and Company via NetGalley for the ADC for the purpose of review.

This is an on point and important read about a woman’s story of having a daughter with a serious addiction problem. The mother got totally submerged in her daughter's addiction to the point that it was taking over her life and overwhelming her. It was affecting her relationship with her other children and the man she was dating and making her an anxious mess and she needed to get help to stop it from ruining her life.

She shares how she handled it, and how she became an advocate helping other parents and addicts in trouble in her area by starting an online group for others in the same position, that allowed them all to share and posting links for assistance. She learned eventually to better handle her daughter’s relapses, which were many, up to 40 or more, and to be able to take back her life to an extent so that she actually could have one again, and start living again. A very timely book, with a message of hope during the still dark times of so many people overdosing while answers are searched for. My thanks to #Netgalley, author Maureen Cavanagh, and the publisher for the advance electronic copy provided for my fair review.

Henry Holt & Co.
Pub: Sep. 4th, 2018

Powerful, must-read book. This book is not just for those personally affected by the disease of addiction. Addiction is a growing epidemic with a lot of stigma. It’s easy to turn a blind eye when it’s not you or someone you know going through this, and it’s important that we all recognize this as a disease that can affect anyone. There’s just not enough help and resources to help people get the proper recovery and treatment needed.

Thank you, Maureen Cavanaugh and Katie Harvey, for sharing your journey and dedicating so much time to helping those in need. This book has opened my eyes. Again, this is a sad and emotional journey but one that everyone should read.

Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC.

Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for review.
Growing up with grand parents and parents that were addicts and alcoholics and then marrying an addict, it is different to get a mothers perspective.
Honestly. It took me years to stop searching for love in another person, which explains my ex husband I guess and I am still praying that my son doesnt inherit this disease from not only his dad but his grand and great grand parents.
This book was really interesting to read and I could not stop reading it.
After living with addiction most of my life, this book just grazes all the emotions and hurt and fear you live with on a daily basis.
It just touches all the things an addict will do to themselves and their loved ones.
Just barely touches it!!!!!!
So in my opinion, although I really liked this book, it doesn't even begin to describe the hell it is of a life and how emotionally scared you will be during and after the experience.

I've never found it so hard to get through a book before, but not because it isn't well written. As a parent myself, this book reads like my worst nightmare.

Equal parts heartwrenching and hopeful, it is a brutal look into the devastation of the opioid crisis. I am not a parent of a child with an addiction, but I've watched my family go through many of the same struggles detailed here. It's shocking how much the events can be the same even as the details are different.

The writing style is simple, but that just makes it all the more powerful. There are no pretty words to obscure the terrible reality or the pain. The author delves into her own issues, not shying away from depicting the way the struggle pushed her past her breaking point over and over.

At the same time, through all the heartbreak, the message of hope comes through loud and clear. Every time the author said to her daughter "I will not give up on you," I had to put the book down and cry a little...both because my heart was bleeding and because I know that hope is the only thing the families have to hold onto.

You can talk all you want about the "tragedy" of addiction, but until it touches your family, you really don't understand. This book isn't the same as living through it, but it's a good start for anyone who wants to have their eyes, and hearts, opened.

This surprised me! In a good way!

I have been disappointed by a lot of similar books written by parents of addicts but Maureen Cavanagh has a writing style that draws you into her struggle. She doesn't just tell you about the events she goes through trying to save her daughter, she takes you on the soul wrenching journey to experience the heartache yourself.

This is an account of a mother dealing with her daughter’s opioid addiction. There are very few people that I know whose lives have NOT been touched in some way by addiction. This is a raw account from a mother, including the good, the bad and the ugly of having a loved one dealing with addiction. This was a great read and I want to thank the author for sharing this story. Also thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for allowing me to read this as an ARC.

the book was very interesting. Plot was well developed. really enjoyed this book and the characters.

I read this book in one sitting.

This is an honest & raw look into the lives of a mother & her daughter who is a heroin addict. It's heart wrenching reading the daily struggles through the eyes of a mother, she only know one thing is for sure- she will never give up hope on her daughter.

4.5 stars
"Fast-paced and heartwarming, devastating and redemptive, Maureen’s incredible odyssey into the opioid crisis―first as a parent, then as an advocate―is ultimately a deeply moving mother-daughter story. When Maureen and her ex-husband Mike see their daughter Katie’s needle track marks for the first time, it is a complete shock."

As a mother of a child with similar issues as Katie, this book hit me hard. I could identify very strongly with every word she wrote and every emotion she felt. This book resounded deep within my soul. If You Love Me was impossible to put down and challenging to read at the same time.

This is an incredibly compelling book for any parent who has dealt with the horror of their child's substance abuse. Maureen walks the reader through the agony of discovery through the helplessness of a parent trying to force a child into recovery. She honestly and deftly explains the emotional impact on the entire family, as well as the shame so often coinciding with having a child with a substance use disorder. She candidly shares how substance abuse impacts siblings, work and other relationships.

Maureen’s brutally honest account is one filled with her quest to help her daughter to get off heroin, the horrors of the for-profit detox and recovery centers and ultimately to one of an advocate for families and addicts. This is a must-read book for everyone. Maureen expertly humanizes the substance user and the horrors they are fighting in their quest to be free of drugs.

Maureen Cavanagh has written a book that is personal, heart wrenching, and yet, hopeful.

Her very personal story comes to light as she tries over and over again to help her daughter who can't seem to get away from her dependence on opioids. Cavanagh details what she and her daughter go through as she bounces around from one treatment center to the next (up to 40 times). It was more than heart wrenching to read what was happening to her daughter, physically, emotionally, and mentally, and how Cavanagh tried again and again to help her, until she finally realized she had to take care of herself and her life first.

Despite everything the author went through with her daughter, she still managed to help friends, children of friends, and strangers to find help with their own diseases. She built an organization that continues today to help and give information to those who need it. I highly recommend this book. It is perfect for those parents or relatives of children who suffer with substance abuse disorders, and anyone else who wants to educate themselves on this very timely and sad public problem.

Brilliant, honest & heartbreaking!! I read this in one day, I could not put it down. The sorrow that this (or any) horrible disease bring to families is gut wrenching. The words alone the mother used to write this book was clearly from the heart, I highly recommend this book!!