This book dealt with real issues and those things came through almost too clearly. Cam simply broke my heart. His story is sticking to me for a while, I can tell. Cam is slowly spiraling and will soon crash at the rate he is going. Ty sees Cam and his struggles.

This book had me so tense as I was reading. I was scared for Ben and add in all of the serious content and this book left me with achy muscles. I enjoyed it and its real feel, but It took me a bit to get used to the writing style. It wasn't what I was used to.

I would definitely recommend this book.

Cam and Ty are undeniably flawed human beings yet there's something about them that made it easy for me to empathize with them and their respective and joint circumstances. Maybe it was all those moments of vulnerability and honesty and how these two struggled to get past whatever was thrown their way that endeared them to me. These two had a story to tell, and Hudson Lin did as close to an impeccable job writing it. From the dust and dire circumstances that surrounded them while in Kenya to the hustle and bustle of New York, there was always that darkness that seemed to haunt Cam and a restlessness that dogged Ty, but Lin never made their situation feel hopeless. I know the author was part of an anthology a few months ago, has a few free reads, and has a novella coming soon, and while I rushed to add all of those on my to-be-read list as soon as I finished reading her full-length, my adoration is focused on Inside Darkness (for now). Five-plus stars. ♥

Whoa. The book felt very real and dark but it was a superb though difficult read. I definitely need to process it all before I can write a proper review, but the full review will come soon!

This is a really heavy book. It was dark and gritty but also filled with hope. It is also very powerful with what the characters go through and how they come together

Inside Darkness is just that, a look into the darkness that surrounds Cameron, as he's lost in his memories.

Cameron's been working in a refugee camp and it's slowly killing him. Not only is it tough to see all that he does, it's also getting more and more difficult for him to stay closeted.

We get a good glimpse into the horror of being gay in a place where homosexuality is not allowed. It's gut wrenching to know how cruel the world really is.

Cameron meets Tyler right before it's time for him to return home. After ten years as an aid worker, Cameron struggles to re-integrate into the real world. Without Tyler's help, Cameron won't survive. It's absolutely beautiful and emotional the way that Tyler's touch grounds Cameron and eases his nightmares. I love this part.

Cameron's story is one of healing, of strength. Cameron is an extremely complex character, who will only heal, and survive, with the help of the man he loves.

Overall, Inside Darkness is a story of a man who is completely broken and lost, after losing his innocence in the field. Hudson Lin has excelled in creating this fragile character. He's well developed and his story is an emotional rollercoaster. I am thrilled to have found this book.

Inside Darkness was not an easy book to read. I felt for Cameron, it was impossible not to. At the same time I admired Tyler. Even though he wasn’t sure about Cam, especially after his initial encounter with him, he still felt drawn to him in a way that made him want to help.

Cam tried to hide his pain. He hid the pain behind his “darkness” which is what he calls his PTSD induced episodes. He relishes those hidden moments because he doesn’t “feel” the pain during those moments of escape. The only thing that makes him feel better, is Ty.

Regardless of how hard this book was to read, I really liked Inside Darkness. I loved the connection between Ty and Cam. I loved Cam’s friends and family.

Ty was fighting his own demons. They were no where near as brutal as Cam’s, but he was still trying to fight his way out of the “rut” his professional life had fallen into.

Cam suffered more than one set back and then… well, you’ll have to read Inside Darkness to see how things work out… It’s not cut and dry and never easy. What Ty and Cam go through is painful, but worth the journey it takes them to where they both deserve to be…

This one was hit and miss for me. At times I really enjoy the writing style and at times it was really too repetitive to enjoy. I appreciated the characters and the struggles but sometimes authors write characters into a hole and I feel like there was a bit of that here.

This felt awful real and that’s a compliment!
Cam works as an aid worker in Kenya when he meets the gorgeous journalist Ty.
Cam is grumpy and hostile toward Ty but their is also physical attraction and tension.

Th returns home and after some time Cam makes the decision to go home too.
When they collide again there is the a bunch of attraction. Only Cam has PTSD and he doesn’t need help.... he just glides away in his own space. He only gets out to smoke and drink himself into his space again. He is in denial of his depression.
The moments both men are together there is growing something and both are not ready.
Ty his past isn’t one of many good moments and somehow what he has with Cam, it all trickers him and he has to deal with his past.

Their path is hard.... so hard I thought maybe it will never be okay everrr...
Excellent written story. I was very impressed... the harsh reality was painful, thank goodness there was some light at the end of the tunnel.
Their characters and backgrounds were very well put down... it was an emotional and awful raw story a good developed one and the environments were difficult but real put down.
All together... a great job is done with this story!

Kindly received an arc from the publisher

There were some really good themes in this book, and there were some things that weren't so good.

Let's talk about the good stuff first.

The author does a fine job exploring the impact and effects of PTSD that Cameron experiences, and how it shapes his interactions with the world around him, even when (and perhaps especially when) the traumatic events leading to the PTSD have passed. The darkness to which Cameron escapes is a place of safety to which he retreats when he's under extreme pressure or fear. An international aid worker for many years, Cameron has seen more than his fair share of human suffering, violence, and death, and there's not much left of the idealistic, out and proud gay man he was 10 years or so ago, the one who wanted to help others and jumped into aid work with both feet. Being gay is a crime in many African countries still, and Cameron knows only too well what might happen to someone who's found out to be gay. He has hidden that part of himself behind a cynical and gruff exterior because it's safer that way.

Tyler is very much an opposite to Cameron. Somewhat self-centered and career oriented, he struggles with his ethnicity (born in America of Chinese heritage) and having clawed his way to success out of growing up in foster care. He's extremely sensitive to perceived slights, and he's unhappy at his job because he feels that he's being marginalized for his race and heritage, and not given any real assignments other than covering the happenings in Chinatown. At first, I didn't like Tyler very much. He was angry, perhaps understandably so, but also standoffish. He grew on me, especially as the author peeled back the layers of his personality, and Tyler became Cam's main support system.

While sex happens early, intimacy and romance does not, and the slow burn inside needed to be, since Cameron's PTSD makes for a difficult companion, and Tyler doesn't initially know how to help the other man, helplessly watching Cam sink deeper and deeper into the darkness.

Love, as it happens between them, happens slowly, almost as a side product of their struggles to overcome the obstacles in their respective lives.

It is only when they are separated again, by choice to some extent, that both men realize how much they need the other, just when it's nearly too late. The darkness threatens to swallow Cameron whole, and there's no Tyler to pull him back when he needs it the most. The climax of this book did have me at the edge of my seat, even if the ending felt a bit rushed.

Now for the not so good. This was my first book by this author, and the writing style didn't really work for me. It was oftentimes more tell than show, which is a shame, really, because the story itself was well done. But show me what makes your characters tick - don't tell me.

There was also some slut-shaming inside, which I thought a bit odd, and while I don't know much about UN Aid workers and how things are run there, I was left to wonder if someone diagnosed with severe PTSD, under the supervision of a therapist, would then be sent back to another hellhole with the expectation of performing the job as if the PTSD didn't exist.

This is a heavy, angsty read, and not the kind of book you take with you for a sunny day on the beach. There's a lot of darkness inside, and both Cameron and Tyler have to fight their way into the light.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this book. If you like romances that are slow to develop, with a lot of angst, this might be a book for you.

Hudson Lin is a new author to me, leaving me with no real idea how I’d like her writing, which meant I had little to no idea about Inside Darkness, save the blurb. So diving in, not sure what to expect, I was pleasantly surprised. Still, I’ve struggled with now to rate this book.

Inside Darkness is a rough story about Cam and Ty. Cam, an aid worker with the UN who has a lot of “field-cred”, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. And Ty, an investigative reporter who has been working to get his field-cred, hoping it will propel him further in his career. Both men– very different, both from very differing lives– meet in an African country but continue to cross paths when they’re both back in NYC. The roughness of the story for me was that it was pretty dark and gritty. It almost isn’t a romance, at least not for me, if only because all the romantic situations were not romantic at all but felt like a desperate need for connection. No, Inside Darkness felt more like a discovery about Cam and Ty’s issues, how to recognize them, how to ask for help, and how to heal… or to attempt to heal.

To say that I enjoyed reading this seems like the wrong thing to say. Cam’s story specifically was so difficult to read. I felt nothing but sorrow for him and what he goes through. The path to all the field cred he has was riddled with tragedy, so when he has a panic attack, when that darkness comes to try and smother him, when something would trigger his memories, or his nightmares would not let him sleep, it wasn’t happy reading. Add-in Ty’s issues of work place racism, identity issues, and his closed off heart, it was even harder to get through. The thing is, this book is written well, and the story is told so honestly, nothing glossed over at all, that I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy it.

I do wish that the story focused more on Ty… I feel like his story was not fully developed and it left me wishing for more, maybe a bit more balance. He’s got a lot to deal with when it comes to Cam, and that takes much of his part of the story. But he also has the work issues, what I felt were some real issues about his heritage and remembering about is life as a child, coming to terms with his mothers death… there was a lot of potential there that could have been more fully developed. I think it’s not even page time, or POV time that is my issue, but perhaps just my need to have Ty’s own story more flushed out and brought to the forefront. I felt like he had things going on and nobody was there for him. Nobody was helping him through any of it because everyone was there for Cam. I also felt that the ending was a little abrupt and that kind of bummed me out bit.

While there is very little happiness happening throughout the book, and I mean VERY LITTLE, I appreciated the authors attempt at bringing to light issues of depression, PTSD, and how life as an aid worker for the UN could be very difficult without a good support system. And even then, it’s still a hard road to walk. I liked both characters very much, but I really liked Ty best. His ability to be there for Cam, to work at understanding him, to open his heart up when he didn’t want to, and his determination to not let Cam push him away no matter how much of a jerk he was, made Ty the star of this book for me.

In the end, I was glad when I was finally finished with this but I would recommend this to anyone who is interested in a gritty and difficult read. Sometimes these are the best reads at the right time.

4 Stars

This book sounded so fabulous, and broken characters are one of my favorites tropes, but once I opened the book up and started reading, I wasn’t so sure if maybe Cam wasn’t too broken to be put back together. He was a complete and utter twat at times, well, throughout most of the story, to be honest, but my heart broke for him and all he’d been through. I can’t imagine going to a foreign country to try to aid and assist the residents there and having to walk around with armed guards so you aren’t attacked, or worse, murdered. The things Cam has seen over the years has left him one very damaged man.

I also wasn’t too sure about Tyler at first, but he quickly won my heart. As much as he wasn’t looking for a relationship there was something about Cam that drew him in and wouldn’t let go. I loved that he was caring and nurturing, but I especially loved that when it really counted, he was there for Cam and wouldn’t let Cam push him away.

These two men together, complimented one another well, their chemistry was off the charts and they sizzled together, both in and out of bed. The story is well-written and l has a satisfying ending.

I loved that the author dealt with Cam’s issues realistically and that even once he and Ty had a solid relationship, Cam still struggled and they still had to work everyday to make their relationship work.

This was an enjoyable read, an emotional hurt/comfort story that definitely delivers all the feels. Definitely recommendable!

I know I’m late! I’ve had this arc for quite some time but I read the summary very fast and only after been approved I realized it was about mental health. I wasn’t in the mood because my mental health is conditioned by what I watch/read so I wanted only bubbly, fluffy, easy books about good feelings, sunshine and rainbows. So days went by and I didn’t start it.

The day it was published I ordered me to read it, and I did, and I liked it. It was hard and it triggered me a little, but all in all it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I actually enjoyed it, even if I read it as fast as I could just to get it over with.

I struggled a lot because the feelings in it were so strong, so deep, and they were like a giant boulder crushing my chest. It was a wild ride, very important and insightful. I learned things I don't think I've ever questioned about. The world is a harsh place and, as much as we like to face it head up, it comes and leaves scars so deep it's hard to cope.

I'm a bit shaken because this is not entirely a happy story, but it has happy moments and so much hope. When the world seems to be dragging you into the deepest abyss, there can be a ray of sunshine that'll help us keep the darkness at bay. Whatever it may be, there's hope about finding it and that's worth being in this world a little longer. Just to see the light at the end of the darkest of tunnels.

The characters were well written and relatable, old enough to have day by day issues similar to mine. Once in a while it’s refreshing reading about adults not having a precise clue about what to do with their lives and being as human and fragile as I feel most of the time.

Long story short, this book was hopeful and core-shaking, it gave me anxiety, palpitations and a mild panic attack. But in the end, the little smile on my face was reward enough to deem this book worth the time it took me to read it.

I really enjoyed Inside Darkness! It was fascinating to learn about Cameron’s job as an aid worker. It’s almost as if he’s a soldier, just without a lot of the glory. He goes to war torn countries, trying to help the people that live there, but at the same time, he sees some horrible things, which leads to him developing PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). One aspect that really made me sad for Cameron is that he’s gay, and he’s always been out and proud, but he soon realizes he can’t be that way when working and living in these countries. He might be okay, but someone else could be badly hurt if it’s known that he’s gay. This really pushes Cameron back in the closet a bit and it makes it even harder for him to let journalist Tyler Ang in when they meet.

I thought Tyler was great and he’s obviously wonderful to Cameron. I did feel bad for him though, as he’s quickly pushed into Cameron’s life, which means dealing with the PTSD. When you care about someone, you’re there for them. But Tyler and Cameron hadn’t known each other long before Tyler kind of becomes an outlet for Cameron – someone he actually lets in. Tyler wants to be there for him, but it’s obviously rough for him as he’s used to just being single and doing what he wants.

While I did really like Inside Darkness, I wish there was a bit more of Cameron and Tyler’s everyday relationship. Books that deal with mental illness and relationships often focus a lot on that aspect, which makes sense, but it would have been nice to see the two of them just getting to know each other and falling in love without so much of the “drama” that surrounds them (and I don’t mean drama in a bad way – it all made sense within the book).

4.5 Stars!

Cameron is a UN aid working in Kenya when he meets Tyler, a journalist sent to work a piece about their mission. While Cam is not out, they have one hot hookup just before Tyler leaves Kenya and after they're both back in NYC, they see each other again. However, Cameron is dealing with PTSD and when it is too much, he feels as if a darkness envelops him. Will Tyler, who has avoided relationships before he met Cameron, be able to help him or will Cameron lose the fight against the darkness?

Okay, so first, I have to say that this book was intense in the sense that I could actually feel the cloud of depression surrounding Cameron and honestly, I wasn't sure if he would be able to work through it. It just felt insurmountable at times. He had a great support system in his sister, parents and eventually Ty, who was great with him, all things considered. While I wasn't too sure about Tyler at first, my heart broke at everything he'd had to go through and felt he was shortchanged with Cameron sometimes. Yes, Cam was dealing with a lot of things, but he was very judgmental when it came to Tyler, not really giving much value to his complaints about his work, his past and such. At least not until Tyler actually spoke up and got the record straight about what was bothering him about it all. Same with Izzy and Cary, Cam's sister and friend, who were all too happy to point out that Tyler had been a bit slutty before meeting Cam, but were equally happy to leave Tyler care for Cam when he needed to be cared for. I guess at least Izzy eventually got nicer to Tyler. *sighs*

Anyway, I actually wasn't sure if Cameron would ever be ready to be in a real relationship with Ty. Yes, he was going to therapy and he fell in love with Tyler, but neither is a magic solution for PTSD and I appreciated that the author showed that it was still a struggle for Cameron even after getting together with Ty.

Overall, I really enjoyed the story, it was a very emotional journey that I have no trouble recommending.

*** copy provided to the reviewer by Riptide Publishing via NetGalley, a review wasn't a requirement. ***

4.5 stars- Raw and emotional story that held me captive cover to cover

I’ve recently had a good run of books whose covers caught my eye and blurbs capture my attention ending up being fantastic reads. Inside Darkness marks another title to add to that list. My first book by this author, I was immediately drawn into this hurt-comfort romance which starts in a refugee camp located in Kenya. Not only were the characters likable with interesting backstories, but the premise was so different that I couldn’t help but be swept away and found it exceedingly hard to put Inside Darkness down for any length of time.

There was a lot that completely captivated me about Inside Darkness. The pacing of the book was brisk enough to keep things moving without ever rushing the plot or relationship between Tyler and Cameron. I also really appreciated the raw details the author included about field aid work as well as its toll on “lifers” like Cameron. As for the romance, this was more of a slow-burner, which worked well given how the characters meet, their professional lives, and their current circumstances. What I loved about that approach was their chemistry wasn’t only fueled by that intense draw between Ty and Cam, but it also provided plenty of time to grow and cultivate love and a bond as they spent more time together. Simply put, the story and romance was not easy by any means, but it was believable.

I read a lot of hurt-comfort romances and a fair amount of books that also deal in PTSD, and I found Inside Darkness to be one of the better ones- both in its brutal honesty of what Cam and his loved ones deal with, and also in the way the author never lost sight of the character or relationship development. I’ll definitely be reading more from Miss Lin and would recommend Inside Darkness to any fans of hurt-comfort stories.

Hudson Lin’s “Inside Darkness” is precisely why I review for a blog where I’m exposed to new authors. What a treat to find a writer as good as Lin. Of course I may be prejudiced, since “Inside Darkness” features cities and circumstances quite similar to those of my own youth.

Cameron (Cam) Donnelly is a UN crisis camp administrator stationed in Eastern Kenya. He was raised with ideals that could never survive the realities of camp starvation, illnesses, and the systematic violence against refugees, especially gays. Cam has ignored his emotions to subsist, and frozen his sexuality to protect others. “Don’t Look; don’t be gay. Indulging in those desires only led to people getting hurt out here,” he reminds himself.
Impeccably dressed and handsome journalist Tyler (Ty) Ang arrives to investigate the camp for a national news agency. He hopes to break out of his type-cast role as the Asian reporting on Chinatown issues. In fact, he was raised in the system, where he had no exposure to Chinese culture. “‘Constantly rotating through foster homes, getting beat by some foster parent who felt like taking their shit out on me? And starving because they didn’t feel like feeding me?… So don’t fucking tell me I don’t have field cred,’” he challenges Cam who implies Ty is a lightweight.
When Ty crosses Cam’s path stateside, Cam appears even more haggard away from Africa’s dangers. Lin conveys the terror of trauma superbly. “Some days, it felt like he’d been dropped into the center of a giant whirlpool where everything spun in circles around him, slipping through his fingers and making him nauseous as he tried to orient himself,” Cam realizes.

Though Ty knows Cam will be more than his preferred casual encounter, their chemistry is too hot to ignore. Then he watches Cam’s darkness dissipate under his touch, and Lin tells us, “Ty took a second to understand that it (Cam’s gaze) was directed at him – no one had ever looked at him like this before, like he was someone worthwhile, like he had something valuable to give.”
Can Cam heal… and if he does, can Ty let anyone past his protective maze of barriers? Lin writes, “Ty recognized a deep sense of loss so familiar and so intense that he wasn’t sure if the feeling came from Cam or from himself. A thought occurred to him: maybe that was why he found it so difficult to say no to Cam – his hurt felt like Ty’s own hurt.”

As a clinician, I love reading therapy sessions with a ring of truth. Cam’s therapist gently uses his resistances to help him escape this spiraling thoughts. But, Lin doesn’t take the easy path. Neither love nor therapy is miraculous. Instead, both reveal more of Cam’s strengths than his weaknesses.

Lin’s timing makes this novel realistic. Though Ty and Cam want to prevent love from seeping into their pores… it enters at such a glacial speed they cannot resist. While encounters with others deplete them, each encounter together is fortifying.
Readers cringe in recognition at Tyler and Cam’s mistakes. This is the art of the storyteller, to make us love her characters, flaws and all. For example, Ty denies the importance of Cam’s family’s acceptance. ”It was only Thanksgiving, for fuck’s sake. He was still trying to convince himself of that when exhaustion finally overcame him.”

“Inside Darkness” is anything but dark. it is a much needed light on issues Americans rarely consider, brought with a dignity and compassion that allows us to brave the realities of our stark world. For me, this is a 4.5 heart read. I highly anticipate reading Lin’s future novels to watch her style as it matures.

I enjoyed this book. I liked the relationship and how realistic the PTSD felt. Even though Cameron and Tyler made me want to shake and then slap them both. Multiple times. Neither one of them was very good at opening up and admitting that they needed the other. It was frustrating. They were good together, yet they lied to themselves over and over again about how much they didn't need the other.

Hurt/Comfort are touch and go for me. Especially when it's clear one of the characters doesn't really mean to be the source of comfort for the other. Ty was reluctant for anything more than sex with Cam. But they were drawn to each other again and again and whatever it was between them couldn't be ignored.

Besides being angry at both Cam and Ty for much of the book I did like them. I loved the story and I loved them together.

The pain Cam lives through is real and my heart broke for him. While everyone experiences PTSD differently the way Hudson Lin writes it is so real and raw your heart aches right along with Cam's. While he pissed me off I couldn't stay mad at him because it was his illness that had a lot to do with way he acted. That might not be an excuse for all things it allows the reader to understand him better.

Ty had his own struggles and reasons to stay away from Cam. No one wants to entangle themselves in a situation that could hurt them. It takes a strong person to look past the pain and see the beauty that lives dormant underneath.

This book does not give a cure all for mental illness. It does not have the fantasy that falling in love can make things better. It shows how hard Cam worked to live his life and not let his illness control him. It showed how hard he had to work to push past the pain and let Ty love him. To admit that he loved Ty. It was real.

I look forward to reading more of Hudson Lin's work and hope she continues on a path that opens people's eyes to PTSD and other mental illnesses. Books like this are so important and so needed. Ty and Cam don't have an easy time but that is what makes them great because they fight through everything that stood in their way and got help together and apart in order to live as healthy and as happy lives as possible.

I’m going to have to put Hudson Lin on my auto-buy list based on this book alone—it’s that good.

I think what made this book work so well for me is that the author managed to bring a level of reality to the story that many romances don’t achieve. Often, there’s something that will feel contrived—the way the characters are thrown together, the speed at which the protagonists fall in love, the obstacles in the path of their relationship, etc. But with this novel, everything seemed just right.

The romance grows very organically. Cameron Donnelly is an aid worker at a refugee camp in Africa who meets journalist Tyler Ang when Ty comes to do a story about the camp. There’s attraction between the two men even then, but their relationship grows slowly over a span of months after both return to New York from overseas. Both men have realistic emotional baggage that complicates the feelings they have for each other, Tyler from growing up in foster homes, Cam from the PTSD associated with the horrible things he’s seen as an aid worker. I love it that Tyler thinks to himself at one point, “They were behaving like teenagers, neither one willing to admit what they were feeling” and reaches out to initiate a conversation with Cam—no drawn-out drama based on a failure to communicate here! Instead, the monkey wrench that gets thrown into their romance has to do with their careers, when Ty gets a job as a foreign correspondent and Cam is asked to return to Africa.

The hurt/comfort theme is extremely well handled in this novel. Cam suffers from severe PTSD, to the point that he verges on a complete breakdown. Ty is used to only looking out for himself; he’s had to live that way, as a foster kid with no one to support him. But Ty finds himself drawn to Cam in a way that overcomes the barriers he’s put up around himself, and he can’t resist taking care of Cam. Meanwhile, Ty serves as an anchor for Cam as he struggles with the darkness of his PTSD, at first through their physical relationship and then through the emotional bond between them. Both men fill the broken spaces inside the other in a way that’s very moving.

One other thing—the author herself was a foreign aid worker, and it shows in the scenes set in Africa. That’s another thing that really adds to the story’s sense of realism.

I don’t often give romance novels 5 stars, but, in my opinion, this is truly a five-star read. Very highly recommended!

A copy of this book was provided through NetGalley for review; all opinions expressed are my own.

4 Stars
Review by Allyson
Late Night Reviewer
Up All Night w/ Books Blog

Inside Darkness by Hudson Lin is a new author that should not go unnoticed, a captivating author who needs to be watched out for!

I believe Hudson Lin has nailed down the mental clarity within her characters emotions down to a ‘T’. From emotional outbursts, the inner struggles-turmoil, the onslaught to find a need to fill the darkness/shadows that plague them, was so authentic that Lin’s writing sucked me in completely and whole heartedly that this book was unputdownable.

“Sometimes you feel the darkness and you can’t do anything against it…”

Cam and Ty found a connection while out on assignment, but once on home-ground all was ‘thought’ lost until fate kept throwing them back together. To see two different, but similar destructive, struggling souls yearn for one another, beating the odds… was a journey I didn’t want to get off of.

This story hit home on a more than one note and yet, Lin’s style of writing was eloquent in her descriptions, never crossing the lines of PTSD issues. It’s raw, authentic and a slow burn intensity that has you wanting more. Lin’s writing is powerful, emotional and gripping!

**ARC provided by the author for an honest review**

This was one of those books that catches your eye due to the cover or the blurb but you don't know the author and you have no idea what to expect. You kind of roll the dice and say a book hail mary and hope it turns out ok. This turned out better than ok for me. I really liked this book and I'm super glad I took a chance on it.

It starts in a country in Africa where Cameron works as an aide worker. He's been doing this high stress job for ten years and he's burnt out. He's exhausted and suffering from PTSD. He meets Tyler, a journalist sent to cover their work, right before he's leaving to come back to the US. Cam has very mixed feelings for Tyler but fate keeps throwing them together. They begin a tentative relationship when they get back to NYC.

I love books that have atypical MC's and these guys were great. They were both so flawed but also so real. They struggle and they make some mistakes but in the end you see how much they love each other. Their route to a hea is not an easy one and this book is a bit gritty. Cam has some serious issues to work through and his PTSD is a very real part of his life. The author chooses to keep his struggle realistic instead of having him magically healed by the love of a good man like we so often see in romance books.

The only part I disliked was a very small exchange where a friend of Cam's slut shames Tyler. It super annoyed me for some reason. (especially cuz the friend throws swinger parties) I saw another reviewer mention it too so it's not just me it stood out to. I wish the author would not have gone there but other than that one spot I didn't have any complaints.
If you want something outside the norm and you're ok with gritty books I highly recommend this. It was one of the better and more unique books I've read this year.

**ARC provided by publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest reviews**