Cover Image: It's All Under Control

It's All Under Control

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Member Reviews

I had the honor of being on the launch team for this book and I have to be honest - it was the best launch team EVER. This book is incredible and timely. A message like this unites people and draws them closer to God in painstakingly beautiful ways. Let me explain.

In this book, Jennifer Dukes Lee talks about the common tendency to want to control everything. From our kids to our future, from our bodies to our minds, we want to pretend that we have some semblance of control over what happens, when it happens, and how. We've determined that we are the masters of our own fate and that we must strive to ensure that everything goes according to our plans.

That's not how God works. JDL reminds us that Jesus is not to just be relegated to being another box to check off on our to-do list — he is, in fact, the author of the list. She explains:
"I pray today that we will always remember that God's plans are bigger than ours - which means that the fruit of our choices might outlive us. As we step into all that God has for us, let's respond wholeheartedly to the command "Do whatever he tells you." Jesus is not an item on your to-do list. He is holding the list. And when you partner with him, you will be invited to take part in the amazing work he is already doing."
AMEN! How often do we forget this?! How often do we add Jesus to our to-do list as though he's on the same level as mopping the floors and shopping for groceries?! I love that JDL later repeats one key part of the previous quote: "The most important work you ever do might outlive you." Think about that for a minute. It is incredibly simple yet beautiful in its profundity. Our kids, our ministries, the lives we change and the world we build will hopefully long outlive us. That's all so much more important than finding the best deal on eggs. And it's all based on our relationship with Jesus.

Here are some other highlights that spoke to my heart:

"I found the Rock at my rock bottom. And it all started because I dared to utter three scary, beautiful words: "I need help.""

"You are not a burden. You are a person."
And my personal favorite:
When you are obedient in the wait, God will be faithful in the work. And you will be awed in the wonder.
*chills*

Who is this book for? It's for control freaks. It's for working moms struggling to balance career and family. It's for stay-at-home mothers who feel so alone and inadequate. It's for women everywhere who are stressed out, burned out, and sick of living life as though they have to make time for everyone and everything except themselves. In this book, JDL walks you through the scriptures as they relate to God's love for you, how he is waiting for you to surrender your life to him and in so doing let go of every last sin and burden that is weighing you down. In this book, JDL presents the Gospel through the lens of a weary soul crying out for relief, and the gracious, loving, generous God who steps in to say:

"Trust me, I'll catch you."

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This author, Jennifer Dukes Lee, feels so much like a kindred spirit, who knows the voices and longings in my head, and is pulling me back to my Great God- rather than seeking empathy, control, validation, I should be seeking the Good News of Jesus Christ and a deeper more intimate relationship with God. The struggle is real in cultivating the unseen, often hidden, relationship in my heart, but if I want others to see me as a follower of Christ who speaks truth to others, I must first create that mindset and solution set to my ultimate Father and guide- Yahweh, Elohim, I am,.... the Word.

This book has made me laugh, hold back tears, and reach back to read it over and over. The authors own struggle to allow God to be in control of her life is humorous, vulnerable, brings authentic advice, and keeps it real that knowing and living it out are two different things. But she shares how she learned to refocus and surrender to God the control.

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Awesome life-changing wisdom

Jennifer Dukes Lee has control issues, as do many of us, but in addition to those issues, she’s got a killer sense of humor and wisdom that will change your life. So much of this book hit me where I live and gave me the gentle reminder that even though I do things out of love, I need to accept that I am loved and I don’t have to earn it or prove my love in return. The only deficit of this book is that I found myself also seeing my husband in it, and I wished it wasn’t quite so woman-centric, because I’m probably going to ask him to read it anyway. (We’ll see how some of the topics go over!)

A few quotes – and really, it’s so hard to pick just a few. My book is glowing with yellow highlights.

“…you are not a grape; you do not mature just by existing.”

“I live under the false assumption that if I handle everything, I can shield my beloved people from pain.”

“But even for those of us with good intentions, our caring can cross over into behavior that makes us miserable, anxious, tired—and probably less pleasant to be around. We even find ourselves annoying.”

“I have regretted all the times that my well-meaning “acts of kindness” have made me as pleasant as a rabid porcupine.”

“Martha—Okay. You knew she’d be on the list. But can we just stand in solidarity with Martha for a moment? We would have been right in that kitchen with her. How else are people supposed to eat?”

“Good intentions get the best of us, don’t they? Eve probably didn’t go into her day with a diabolic item on her to-do list. Prune roses. Check. Feed the goofy-looking animals with really long necks. Check. Take stroll with God around lake. Check. Try out new fruit. Check. Usher sin into world. Check.”

“There’s a fine line between unhealthy control and healthy control, and that line is drawn with the pen of good intentions.”

“Consider the mental shift that happens when we focus primarily on Jesus’ love for us instead of our love for Jesus. Rather than working to prove our love, we work because Jesus has already proven his love toward us.”

“If our relationship to Jesus is our defining one, then every decision—big or little—passes through that filter. So instead of saying yes to prove our love and devotion to people or to Jesus, we are allowed to experience the freedom of saying no, based on the fact that we have nothing to prove. We already are beloved.”

“It’s hard to know when to hold tight to what we love and when to let it go. So I pray, “Give us the wisdom today, dear Jesus, to know the difference.”

“We must not confuse our God-given abilities with our God-given assignments.”

“Sometimes “Let go and let God” is bad advice.”

The stories draw word-pictures you can relate to your own life and that you won’t soon forget. I can see Jennifer Dukes Lee in my minds-eye lying flat out in the snow, one boot off, headed for that hay bale with the best intentions to create the best Christmas ever. And that scene, indelibly etched on my mind’s eye, is just one of the many visuals that will remind me of her shared wisdom and hopefully internalize and use everything that I have learned.

Jennifer Dukes Lee has a way with stories, wisdom, and compassion that will help you let go of trying to prove your love or whatever is spurring your need for control and to say “yes” only when it’s appropriate, letting go of wheel enough to let God and others do their part.

I fully intend to buy copies of this book to share with a few AAA-type-personality ladies (really, one “A” just doesn’t cut it for these gals – and myself) who happen to be my best friends. Birds of a feather and all that…

Highly recommended as a life-changing read.

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The first thing I have to say about this book is just Go Read It!! I really want to shout it at you in all caps, but I have the sense to realize that just because the book hit me between the eyes and I highlighted extensively on my Kindle version (I don't think I could highlight a paper copy), does not mean it will hit everyone the same way. I was reading this book at a time in my life when I really needed to surrender control, to be obedient to God's call, and to also be willing to accept help. These are all things that Jennifer talks about in this book.

Jennifer was a news reporter and loved it until God kept pulling on her control strings and asking her to give up that job, then she taught news reporting until God asked for that job too. Now she writes about the greatest story of all: Jesus and following Him and does an amazing job of it as well. I think this is the first book I have read by her and I will be on the lookout for her other books as well, though I think the first thing I really want is this book in paper copy. Which brings up an interesting point, I am discovering that I do better with fiction in the e-book format, because when I read nonfiction serious stuff, I tend to just want to race through the book and have it done so I can move on to the next thing and I really don't get much out of the book. I decided when I started this book that I would just try to read a chapter or so a night and well, it was just what I needed, but now I want to get a paper copy so I can see, feel, and touch it.

I marked so many passages in this book that I'm not even sure which ones to showcase, but I'll try to pick some that really spoke to me when I was reading it.

"God works in so many ways, and quite often, he does that work through actual human beings who are willing to show up when it's inconvenient. We can't afford to hide behind God's sovereignty when he's calling us onto the battlefield." She explained this statement with the story of a man whose house was flooding. He was offered help several times but refused it saying God was going to rescue him. When he finally died, he wanted to take God to task for failing to come to his aid and God said, I tried three times and you refused. And she finishes the story with this: "God sends help through ordinary people called into service. Sometimes you will be the miracle for other people. Sometimes other people will be the miracle for you. They will show up with a car, a ladder, a foil-covered casserole dish, a hug. And in that moment, you'll be so grateful that someone cared enough to commit to the hard work of hanging on. For you." That is so true and people have done that for me this week, through flowers, a meal, texts, etc. and I am so grateful.

One final quote on obedience yet that stood out to me. Can you tell I loved this book yet? I could quote so so much more. "Obedience is not for wimps. At first, obedience can resemble the passive posture of letting God carry you where he will. It turns out that obedience is quite often a gutsy thing that will compel you to stand upright and march forward, even if it threatens your own security, your own longings, and your idea of success. Obedience is not an act of the weak, but a rising up of the strong. Obedience might embarrass you or inconvenience you. Sometimes it will leave you in the dark, and the only light you will see is the small patch pooling at your feet. You ask for a spotlight to see straight ahead into the next two years of your life, but instead, God gives you a 'lamp unto [your] feet' and lets you see no further than this hour."

As you have already gathered, I highly recommend this book. I received it from Tyndale Publishers through NetGalley and was not required to write a positive review.

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This book was just what I needed to hear. It reminds us that we aren't really in control no matter how much we may hope to be and that it's okay because someone more competent and equipped is handling it all. It's a call to perfectionists and strivers to surrender our to-do lists to God and trust that he will organize our days in our best interests. Let us spend daily time with him to be reminded that we aren't alone and that he knows what is needed for that day, may we relearn how to hear his voice in our lives.

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<i>"You don't have to be more than you are. But you also don't have to be less."</i>
That quote is the message of this entire book, and it is a message that so many of us need.
Goodness, it took me a while to get through this book, not because it's large or difficult to digest, but just because of my own time commitments and such. Amazingly, the message of this book kept me from feeling guilty for not finishing when I intended to or feeling to the need to put other things aside to speed up my reading. I know that sounds silly but when you have reading goals and reviewing goals, then sometime the pressure is on to read even more often and speed read when possible. This wasn't the type of book that I wanted to speed read.
There were parts that didn't speak to me personally, although I believe they would speak to another women in a different situation. But then some chapters, I highlighted nearly every word...literally.
Sections of this book could be read and reread consistently just as sweet, fresh reminders of who we, who we can be be and are meant to be, and why God needs us to remain ourselves and not copy everyone else.
I love the 3 personality definitions that she gives--I am 100% a "Darling" according to her categories--and the scriptures and guides that she gives for each characterization are spot on. I love that she gives motivations, kryptonites, mottos for healthier living and key verses to lean on for each (The Driver, the Devoter and the Darling).
Also, the cover is beautiful and the writing style is so relatable! Will read more from this author!

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Jennifer Dukes Lee has written an encouraging book for those who struggle with and are exhausted by trying to be in complete control of every area of life. Her personal examples add to the enjoyment of reading this book. All through the book, the author points us to trusting God as being sovereign in our lives and that trusting in Him to control our lives can bring strength and peace. Thoughtful reading for those who need extra encouragement in this area.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.

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Believe me when I say: A photo will never be a reflection of reality. I thought about that a lot while reading this.

I am very pleased to meet fresh, vivacious, original authors who are brave enough to talk about the uncomfortable, what everyone tries to hide under a beautiful facade of "control" (I should speak in plural while I say that). I do not know how she can mix serious topics with such a natural sense of humor, it's strange that I "relaxed" like this, while reading.

Since Eve, the women have had a fierce struggle for control, and it is very useful and interesting to learn how the battle of each one looks in this aspect. It is very nice to perceive the essence of an author through her lyrics and I believe that this book will open very interesting conversations among women.

If you have not acquired it today is a good day to do it. I received this book as a gift in exchange for my sincere opinion, it was a pleasure to refresh my mind and put things in the right perspective (when things tend to get out of the expectations you had). It is my first meeting with this author and I am sure that I will be attentive to her upcoming works.

I share with you some quotes:
"My desire to obsessively orchestrate what happened next was buring me out"...

"...it took me years to see how I’d built a new identity around my ministry work. One form of work perhaps looked holier than the other, but in both cases, I found myself experiencing a case of mistaken identity— estimating my worth based on my usefulness."

"...don’t let your worth be tied to how well you come through for people. Don’t let your motivation be “I have to do this, or no one else will.” ... Our robust inner control freaks will feel the external pressure to say yes because we don’t want to disappoint anyone.... But look, [when your identity is in Jesus], your essential self will step out from behind all of that productivity to say, “Here I am, the disciple whom Jesus keeps on loving, no matter what.” Even if you disappoint someone."

"The busier you are, the more you need to rest.... You don’t need to quit everything; you need a break so you can refuel.... It’s true: A lack of adequate rest can hinder your creativity and ability to tackle your workload."

You can find the book here and the study guide here.

Description
“It’s All Under Control is the gift your soul has been desperately seeking—to feel how His arms of love are under you, carrying you though it all.” —Ann Voskamp, New York Times bestselling author of The Broken Way and The Greatest Gift

It’s time to get our control under control.
Jennifer Dukes Lee never thought she struggled with control. As long as everything went exactly the way she wanted it to, she was totally flexible.

But then Jennifer discovered what happens when you try to wrap your arms around everything, thinking it’s all on you: You get burned out on hustle. You toss and turn more at night, and you laugh less during the day. You’re so busy—caring, serving, working, and trying so hard—that you can’t even hear God’s voice anymore.

It’s All Under Control is a book for every woman who is hanging on tight and trying to get each day right—yet finding that life often feels out of control and chaotic. Join Jennifer on the journey of learning how to: Overcome the anxieties and worries that burden your heart. Prioritize your busy life so you can make choices that align with God’s best for you. Find freedom through a new “Do, Delegate, or Dismiss” approach to your daily tasks. Let go of what God has not asked you to do, so you can shine at what he has. Discover a new way of living that will free you to be you, and finally experience the peace of knowing a God who truly has it all under control.

Perhaps we believe that the opposite of control is confusion, but no, the antonym of control is faith.


#ItsAllUnderControl #NetGalley
Hardcover, 288 pages
Published September 18th 2018 by Tyndale Momentum
ISBN 1496430468 (ISBN13: 9781496430465)

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I’ve been a control freak as long as I can remember. Jennifer’s wise book is helping me take an honest look at myself while basking in God’s grace.

She writes with humor and encouragement, gently prodding you to hold on to what’s most important while letting go of what weighs you down.

Her anecdotes are funny and smart, and they show that she really gets me. I love the poignant glimpses of her Iowa farm life, which inspire me to look closer at the details of my own world.

I know I need to make changes, like being kinder to myself and not taking on so much responsibility. This book gives many practical tips on how to make those changes. The sidebars are loaded with thought-provoking questions and action items to help me manage my responsibilities while relaxing in God’s embrace.

This is a book I will return to again and again. It holds me accountable as a recovering perfectionist. If you struggle with anxiety, overwhelm, and a temptation to control, It’s All Under Control is exactly the kind of book you need. It will give you a boost of hope while strengthening your faith.

Favorite Quotes from It’s All Under Control
- I have loved the steady comfort of control, even though it was an illusion.
- I said I trusted God but had reached the point where I realized I actually didn’t.
- All of this doing and striving was supposed to bring me happiness. With great surprise, I realized that it wasn’t working out that way at all.
- We execute plans to control this out-of-control life because we fear what will happen if we don’t.
- I have spent too much time putting Jesus on my to-do list and calling it good. Let’s ask for his list instead.
- He is with us as we figure out how to let go–and how to hang on.

Thanks goes out to Tyndale for providing me a review copy of this excellent book.

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In The last chapter of the book Jennifer writes
“During my own journey, I learned that I wasn’t a woman to be “fixed”; instead, I was a woman whom God wanted to redirect. God never once told me to be a different person, to stop achieving, or to tear up all of my to-do lists. Instead he channeled me in a more fruitful direction. Now I can finally let go of what God has not asked me to do, so I can shine at what he has. I am, at last, arriving at my essential self.”
During this book, Jennifer guides you chapter after chapter through her controlling journey, why? In order to help you discover the control beliefs and actions in your own life. And I believe the words written above, are exactly what Jennifer wants us all to say about ourselves. I believe that’s the reason God ask her to write this book. So ask yourself, “Where are you on controlling?”

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Synopsis: Jennifer Dukes Lee never thought she struggled with control. As long as everything went exactly the way she wanted it to, she was totally flexible.


But then Jennifer discovered what happens when you try to wrap your arms around everything, thinking it’s all on you: You get burned out on hustle. You toss and turn more at night, and you laugh less during the day. You’re so busy—caring, serving, working, and trying so hard—that you can’t even hear God’s voice anymore.

It’s All Under Control is a book for every woman who is hanging on tight and trying to get each day right—yet finding that life often feels out of control and chaotic. Join Jennifer on the journey of learning how to:

Overcome the anxieties and worries that burden your heart
Prioritize your busy life so you can make choices that align with God’s best for you
Find freedom through a new “Do, Delegate, or Dismiss” approach to your daily tasks
Let go of what God has not asked you to do, so you can shine at what he has
Discover a new way of living that will free you to be you, and finally experience the peace of knowing a God who truly has it all under control.



My Thoughts: This book will not disappoint you! This is a book for anyone who feels like the world is pressing in on them, a person who has to be in control of every aspect of their lives.



For a lot of us, it is hard to let go of the reins and let God take control. In this book, author Jennifer Dukes Lee takes us on a journey to show us how to let God take back the control He needs in our lives.



I highly recommend this book, if you find yourself full of busyness, or say you're too busy to read it.. then you need it!








I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review and the opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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If, like me, you're someone who likes to be in control, who sometimes feels responsible for everyone and everything, who feels the pressure of being reliable and dependable, who sometimes worries that if they don't do something it won't be done (at least not properly) then this book is for you!
It is honest about the challenges of surrendering control and why many of us struggle with it, and it is also convicting as it points out how it can be easy to say we trust in God but much harder to put it into practice.
While it is convicting, the book is also encouraging, acknowledging that there are often good motives behind our desire to take control- it's because we care or because we want to look after others and make them happy.
While we need to be aware that pride can masquerade as love at times, there is also encouragement that reliability and dependability are positive traits and that they are not something to be "fixed" but they are part of our God-given personality, that God wants us to give them to him not so we become passive, but so that we can partner with him in the work he is doing.
The book is also full of helpful practical advice, acknowledging that we can't just let go of all our responsibilities, that surrender goes a lot deeper than "just give it all to Jesus."
There are exercises to help with evaluating and prioritising responsibilities, making time for rest and learning to ask for help, and lots of personal stories to illustrate the points being made and to make it practical.
I also appreciated the acknowledgement that sometimes we let go of control and surrender to God and it doesn't turn out as we hope or expect. We step out in faith to do something challenging and are left wondering why. I have certainly been there, but I was encouraged by the exhortation to trust that God sees the big picture, to believe that he is often at work in ways which are unseen to us, which may make sense one day, either on earth or in heaven.
Hebrews 12:1 states that as we run the race of faith we should "strip off every weight that slows us down" (NLT) and this book provides valuable help in doing this in the area of control.

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