In Four Gifts: Seeking Self-care for Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength, April Yamasaki opens her own life to self-care scrutiny and examines Scripture’s claims about the abundant life alongside biblical promises of God’s care for those who believingly follow Him. To my great relief, Yamasaki frames self-care with a bigger vision than manicures and a daily green smoothie, as she encourages readers to receive the gifts that flow from the first great commandment:

“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30)

Caring for You. Caring for Others.
The busy-ness of life in all its demanding seasons can lead to habits that could best be described as self-neglect. Conversely, culture screams messages that make a virtue of self-indulgence: “I deserve this.” I have had a tendency to read messages about self-care as burdensome checklists, one more item on an already too-full list of things to do.

The abundant life involves caring for your own needs, caring for others, and surrendering to the call of God. There is freedom to be found in the “healthy tension” (188) between loving ourselves well and also being fully available to our neighbor. In Four Gifts, April invites readers into a purposeful pursuit of healthy living according to God’s design in ways that are both challenging and realistic:

1. Self-Care Leaves Space to Honor Your Core Commitments
Just as the heart “represents the center of our physical, mental, and spiritual being,” (221) each of us has “core commitments” that direct our daily actions. Mine are shaped around marriage, mothering and grandmothering, homeschooling, writing, and church ministries. Because your commitments are different from mine, the parameters of our self-care regimens will look very different.

“Self-care that honors core commitments might be delayed or postponed or after the fact, but it’s still self-care even if it sometimes seems to come in second.” (234)

2. Self-Care Begins with Learning How to Stop
For me, self-care is mostly about knowing when to stop, and this came into sharp focus as I was reminded of New Testament directives to the early church that clearly distinguish “between being weighed down and being focused on following Jesus.” The Hebrews 12 “weight” that interferes with the believer’s race can often be the tasks we take on that are not really ours to do.

3. Self-Care Leaves Room for a Listening Life
In the rush of life, I often catch myself half-listening to people, tuning out details to conserve mental energy, or failing to set aside the task at hand in order to meet the eyes of my dearest people while they speak. When Jesus was being quizzed by the religious elite, pressed into choosing the most important commandment of all, His answer began with the word Listen!

“The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’No other commandment is greater than these.” (Mark 12:28-31)

Taking time to listen to God, to hear the words of Scripture from a thoughtful stance, to listen to my own aging body in its need for rest, and to slow down and hear the messages coming through the words of the people I love are all forms of self-care that minister to the whole person and also spread ripples of health into a family or a community.

4. Self-Care Frees the Soul for Sabbath Rest
April Yamasaki is a ministry professional, and she manages a website called When You Work for the Church. Her perspective on Sabbath rest includes first-hand knowledge that Sunday is often the busiest and most stressful day of the week. It turns out that most of us have a much too narrow definition of Sabbath-keeping. The rest and rejuvenation that come with it are “sometimes a by-product but not the primary purpose. The primary biblical purpose . . . is to put away the idol of control and power.” (766) If I can address this issue at its core, suddenly other pieces of the puzzle fall into place. Turning off my phone or taking a nap or postponing an errand to another day can become an offering in which I kick myself out of the center of the universe, a fruit of self-discipline in which I say no to the habit of accomplishment and yes to the habit of quiet or rest.

At its core, then, self-care may be uncomfortable. It may push me to honor limits I’ve become accustomed to pushing through, to utter a few well-placed “nos” that feel as if I’m squandering opportunities, to admit that I need help rather than forging ahead on my own. God’s four gifts of heart, soul, mind, and strength come with the expectation of a graceful stewarding of those gifts, a responsibility that takes practice–and a privilege that comes with the following life as we lean on Jesus for each step in the right direction.

Many thanks to Herald Press for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which, of course, is offered freely and with honesty.

An interesting take on self-care from a Christian perspective. I appreciate any books that promote this in a healthy way because self-care is not selfish!

A thoughtful, wise, balanced view on the importance of caring for ourselves. The book is also a lovely response to what seems to be a growing public position among Christian women that self-care is selfish. Yamasaki challenges that notion and considers how caring for ourselves helps us be capable of caring for others. A book well-worth your time.

This book is for people in an actively transforming or transitional phase of life who are looking for thought-provoking questions and ways to engage with the text and topic. It was sometimes hard reading this as a person already in my...plan (?) of self-care, without the margin to add more or renegotiate boundaries at this time.

The invitation was real and attractive.

Sections are followed with questions inviting personal connection to what was just read, and at the end of each chapter are invitations and suggestions to interact with as they relate to one’s life.

Ideally this book would be read over time, perhaps with a group to discuss, but I think pairs of readers might be the most beneficial setting. That would provide someone to check in with who is covering the same material as you, but ultimately keeping the information application fairly individual - fitting this topic of self-care.

One thing that is touched on only briefly - though I’m glad she went there - is the question of whether and when self-care as an act of self-isolating privilege. This topic (privilege) seems to be perilous ground these days.

She didn't do much more than mention it (and close the book with an echoing image), but at the same time I super-appreciated this specific element being mentioned, because I’m thankful for the increased prevalence of this language in these conversations. And it spoke to questions I carry.

In all, the book felt to me like it had a tentative tone -- some people might feel the word "gentle" more appropriate. I imagine it will fit the readers who are still convincing themselves self-care is legitimate, but for me, who has not only decided it is necessary but also has a plan/process in place, it felt as though it was explaining or borderline justifying itself. Which I found slightly distracting.

This is not necessarily the book/author's fault. It could be the religious climate of our time.

Pick up this book if you need to be encouraged in the fullness of your being (not limiting yourself, say, to spirit or body), and if you've ever felt like self-care was one more thing to add to your to-do list. Yamasaki's book is full of ideas that could give you a fresh take on something you already know you need.

(My thanks to Net Galley and the publisher for the free digital copy for review.)

Life is a gift. From the time we were born, we have been on the receiving end of blessings, giving, and many good gifts. Most of us would know that from our loving parents. Thus, it is no surprise when the Bible tells us to honour our parents in the middle of the Ten Commandments. It is recognizing that we exist not because of ourselves but because others had blessed us and given good things to us. Of course, there are exceptions to the norm in situations like abuse and parental neglect. Otherwise, it is fair to say that most of us would have received life more as a gift instead of something we earned or worked for. Stretching this further, we ponder at life before we were born. Our Creator, as in Ps 139:13 had formed us even before we were in our mother's womb. What do we then do with the gift of life? We learn to take care of it. Author and pastor April Yamasaki uses this to kick start a wonderful book about soul-care and Christian spirituality. Right from the start, Yamasaki confesses of being a perfectionist, a constant goal-getter, and one who are filled with activities and demands which in turn impacts her capacity and ability to rest. Part of the reason is that many people equates self-care with selfishness. In this book, we are assured that taking care of oneself is not selfishness. In fact, not taking care of oneself is neglect. Self-care is essentially catering to our physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our lives. It means learning to take vacations and not turn them into work days. It means learning to thrive in the midst of busyness. It means learning not to guilt-trip ourselves into constant work and worry but to enter into a period of trusting in God's care and taking care of one's needs appropriately.


After clearing the decks of any erroneous feelings of guilt, Yamasaki launches into the four gifts of tending to our hearts, our souls, our minds, and our strengths. Each chapter begins with a brief explanation of the gift followed by reasons why we should use and cherish the gift. At the end of each chapter is a list of practical steps for us to apply.

Three Thoughts
First, I applaud April Yamasaki for boldly declaring that it is ok to take care of ourselves. In a world of ministry, some of us have misunderstood Paul's instruction in Phil 2:3-4 to look after the interests of others more than self. He did not say ignoring our self interests but to make sure we do not elevate ourselves more than who we are. We are not called to put ourselves above others. Neither are we called to put ourselves down to the point of degrading our own calling. Self-denial is discipleship. So is reverence for the gift of life God had given to us. Jesus himself took time out to pray and to seek rest in God. He didn't deny himself these moments of joy and companionship in God. He knows himself and knows what He is denying Himself. The trouble with us is that sometimes, we deny ourselves both of what we need and what we don't need. In other words, it is important for us to sense the need for self-care and soul-care. Both are legitimate. After all, how can we take care of others when we don't take care of ourselves? I often remind myself about trying to help someone drowning in the lake. If we are not attached to firm ground or stable boats, the one who we are trying to save may very well pull us into the water instead, even toppling our dinghies or canoes. Attached ourselves firmly first before attempting any rescue. Put it another way, self-care is essentially helping oneself to remain useful for the long haul of ministry and care.

Second, love is not just unidirectional, that is, from us to others. It is also outside in. It is also not simply caring for ourselves, it is letting others take care of us. Though the greatest commandment is to love God and others, there is that little pronoun that often gets swept under the carpet: Ourselves. Yes, we are called to love God and our neighbour. We are also called to love ourselves. Yamasaki gives us four ways to love ourselves so that we would be better equipped and filled to love others abundantly: Spiritually, Mentally, Physically, and Totally! This is a more holistic model than the typical "take a break" or "go for vacation" advice we receive from time to time when we get exhausted. Ministry is a marathon and all ministry workers must learn to pace themselves. We can easily for a vacation and coming back with a yearning for the next vacation. That would be most unhelpful. By carefully addressing the deeper needs in our hearts, souls, minds, and strengths, we are better equipped to deal with self-care from a biblical standpoint, which ultimately benefits our whole selves. The song "Brother Let Me Be Your Servant" has one verse that really drives this point home.
Brother, Let me be your servant;
Let me be as Christ to you;
Pray that I may have the grace
To let you be my servant, too.
The chapter on community is a vital one. Though only one chapter has been allocated to this theme, Yamasaki has consistently introduced the need for community throughout the four gifts. We learn that the four gifts are meant to be cycles of caring, sharing, tendering, and ministering to one another, in multidimensional ways.

Finally, I appreciate Yamasaki taking time to explain important active words such as "heart," "soul," "mind," and "strength" which forms the four gifts that needed to be received and stewarded. Without this care for words, we may miss out the critical meaning behind them. Often I find believers ready to utter off the greatest commandment without much effort. They may know the commandment by heart but have they truly taken them to heart? Soul-care and self-care are the same. We may know the importance of doing them but do we really understand the meaning and the motives behind them? Do we really know God who cared for us? Perhaps, we need to read this book with one eye on caring for self and another eye on God caring for us.

There are many other relatable topics such as caring for ourselves in the midst of a digital world, the idea of mental health, and even healthy eating and sleeping. This resource is a necessary reminder for all ministry workers both past and present, as well as future to take note of. We care for ourselves because we want to be better carers for others. Kudos to April Yamasaki for driving this point home in four dimensions!

April Yamasaki is pastor, speaker, and writer about spirituality and Christian Living. She and her husband Gary resides in British Columbia, Canada and has over 20 years of pastoral experience. She blogs at aprilyamasaki.com as well as WhenYouWorkfortheChurch.com.

Rating: 4.75 stars of 5.

conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of Herald Press and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

I am not one to read, or even like, self-help books. Especially religious self-help books. I don't like feeling like I'm being preached at. I go to church on Sunday for sermons. And regular "self-help" style books I find often are really unrealistic in their advice and what you need to do in already super busy life to make things better. So let me go ahead and say this is not a self help book. 

I was intrigued by the notion of self-care in a religious sense. That idea goes against everything I feel we are raised to believe in church. You give to others, you do for others, you sacrifice your time and energy for others. Never have I been told to stop and put me first. So I really wanted to read what the author had to say about this. We are all overly busy in our lives, have more than we can handle on our plates. Whether you are a parent, work a full time job or both, there are not enough hours in the day or days in the week to get done what's on your to-do list. This book explores four gifts that come from one of the greatest commandments - "to love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength" and to "love your neighbor as yourself". (Mark 12:30-31). These are gifts you give yourself to enhance your relationship with God and strengthen who you are as an individual. 

"Somehow, simplifying my life turns out to be more complicated than I'd hoped. Instead of relieving my already to do list, self care becomes just one more thing to do." 

Amen! That is normally how it is. April Yamasaki talks through how you give these gifts to yourself without adding more actions on your already busy day. In fact, she recommends taking things off your list. Learn how to stop saying yes to everything. What an incredible concept! And she interweaves these ideas with real life examples from her life (she walks the talk!) and she does so in a manner where you feel like you are having a conversation with an old friend. It's comfortable, warm, and nourishing to the soul. I enjoyed this book and the concepts it presents. 

My thanks to April Yamasaki, Herald Press, and Netgalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

April Yamasaki writes honestly about her own struggle in balancing faith in God with self-care. She asks the question a lot of Christians ask: "Isn’t self-care selfish? "

She thoughtfully addresses self care from four vantage points: heart, soul, mind, and strength. Within each chapter she offers theological insights as well as practical insights. One of my favorites is her "I-dont-do" list. April doesn't shy away from the questions we all have about the true value of self-care for those who seek to love Jesus and serve others as He served. For example, she asks, "If Jesus cared about self-care, would he have allowed himself to be arrested, brutalized, and put to death on a cross?"

Every chapter ends with action steps or ideas to ponder, making this a great resource for small groups.