Under Five by Michael War is a book about learning to love yourself. Mike has a size issue. I think he has more of dating jerk issues. But they all say he is small. He obsesses about it. Thinking they might be right never once thinking the guys were real jerks.
Well to solve his problem he goes to his sister and tells her about it. She suggests a healer she knows.
Mike goes there and finds someone who gives him a potion to solve his problem. Instead of taking the potion he just puts it away for now.
Then he meets Kevin.
Kevin is perfect. He is funny, sweet, and someone he has instant chemistry with. So he takes the potion.
What he learns is sometimes it is not the size that matters but how you perceive yourself on the inside.
This story is quirky, there are also places you have to just roll with how things are presented. Cause it does make some of the characters seem immature, but if you can suspend belief in those spots it is really a good story. I am glad I picked this one up. Fun, quirky, and full of love.

Four Twinkling Stars

In return for an honest review I'd like to thank NetGalley for providing a copy of the book. It started funny and entertaining but reading about an unexpected clone of the main character was not something that got me into.
It was just not what I had expected. I admit skipping a few pages to read the end of the book. No doubt are there readers who might enjoy it though.

The magic was very unexpected and a bit too ridiculous, even for a lover of fantasy like myself. That said, I really liked the romance and the message of the book, so I give it a 4.

Mike is stressing because he can’t seem to keep his relationships going and is starting to get a complex. He turns to his sister as usual who has an unusual solution. You have to suspend belief for this book but its funny and interesting and definitely not predictable.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Rating: 3.5/5

It should go without saying, I was drawn to this book because of the cover. It's a very nice cover. Then I read the synopsis. "He has no problems attracting men," of course not, look at him... "as long as the clothes stay on." So I was intrigued, he's half-naked on the cover and I can't see a problem, what could be so bad? I needed to know.

What does Under Five refer to? Perhaps he's missing a toe. Maybe it's referring to the number of partners he's had.

It only took a few pages before I realized I was reading about a man who was insecure about his uh, endowment. This is not a topic I'm terribly comfortable with, I kept reading because it was a short book.

Hindsight is 20/20. But in my defense when I asked my most accessible friends what they made of title and synopsis, the guys immediately told me he "has a little willy," their words, not mine. The girls were as confused as I was. I always love when books are a catalyst for conversation and this one was.

Ok, now for the story. This was a paranormal romance which is not what I typically read. There was a faith healer, a magic spell, and a clone. Believe it or not, those weren't the things I found most unbelievable about the story.

Let's start from the beginning. Mike realizes he might be under-endowed when his partner laughs and says, "I expected it to be bigger." Then he thinks back to his previous relationships and decides that must be why they all didn't work out.

I can understand insecurity, but I've yet to meet a man who isn't acutely aware of how he measures up to other men. Much less a man who is so ignorant of his own size. Seriously has he never... you know what, we're not even going to go there, apparently he hasn't even looked in a mirror. I feel confident in saying there are other ways he could compensate.

That's not even the most unbelievable part. After making such a traumatic discovery, he understandably needs to talk to someone about it. I can't fault him for that, I'd need to talk if someone laughed at me once the clothes came off too. However, one group of people I would not have that discussion with is my family.

That he went straight to his sister, after his shocking revelation, and she took him right to a faith healer made an already awkward book that much worse.

With all that said, I did grow to care about the characters. I wanted them to be happy, and I was glad when they found love in the end.

Overall, Under Five was a unique book that dealt with a topic I've been lead to believe many men struggle with. I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a quick read that's not like the traditional MM romance, or general romance for that matter.

Let me say right up front that I read this marvelous and thoroughly enjoyable story non-stop, in just a couple of hours. I could not wait to reach the conclusion.
A quick review of the story line. Mike is attractive. Mike has no problems attracting men, but Mike does have problems maintaining relationships. Incidents with former partners have led Mike to think the reason he cannot maintain relationships is because his penis is too small. Mike and his sister, Carman, seek help from a magic-maker to help Mike “see” how to go about fixing his relationship issues. The magic-maker causes Mike’s clone to appear. And that’s when the fun starts.
The author asks us to “suspend disbelief”. It was, in fact, those two words “suspend belief” that drew me to ask for an ARC of this book. Let’s talk about that for a minute. For anyone who has ever read and enjoyed reading paranormal, sci fi, magic, mystic, or more down-to-earth every day folklore, suspending belief is easy. Wizards, witches, fae, shifters, druids, gifted humans who work for good as well as evil. I’ve met them all. So one magic-maker who causes the creation of one clone didn’t cause even one shake of my head. I found it really easy to let the story flow and just go with that flow.
I’d find it more difficult, and I did, to image a brother discussing the size of his penis with his sister. Yes, that did cause a raised eyebrow.
Now let’s talk about what this book is really about. It’s about the insecurities that each and every one of us carry. It’s about how we see ourselves. How we stress ourselves over how the rest of the world sees us. It’s the constant worry over how we look. Too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny...too, too, too. In the end, it’s about Mike’s need to step back and really see himself and how he impacts the world and the people around him.
And Under Five is, at its heart, also a love story. Yes, the books contain explicit sexual content, but it is also full to overflowing with emotions that I felt coming out of the page. I relished every second spent with this book. I’m giving it a solid 4.5.
Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing an ARC in return for an honest review.

I did not finish this book. It was not what I was expecting going in and the story read like a YA book.

A rather bizarre tale, this story was not at all what I expected from reading the blurb. It’s about a man who has had men—from hookups to a long-term partner—tell him he’s inadequate in the bedroom. Based on their behavior, he assumes it’s due to his less than average penis size. He’s shocked, especially by the man who stayed with him three years before saying anything. But he refuses to measure himself and won’t look in a mirror to verify.

And yet he shares the information with his sister, who takes him to a faith healer for the solution. Left the Believability Highway yet? Yes, I did by this point too. Now, when he finally does what the healer told him to do, he discovers a clone in his home—an exact duplicate of himself. But does he look at the naked man’s crotch? Nope, he does not. He’s not ready to do that. Plus, he just had a date with a really nice guy and he thinks maybe size won’t matter to that man.

The story itself is a series of strange occurrences, unrealistic circumstances, impossible situations, and unpleasant behaviors. To be honest, it was so strange that I kept thinking the MC was going to wake up and it would all be a dream sequence. Mike, the guy with the problem, was not a likeable personality, unlike Angel, his clone, and it’s through knowing Angel that Mike finally learned his lesson about his own behavior and perceptions. Once he did, everything else fell into place. And yes, there is an HEA. But getting there does indeed, as the author says in his introduction, require one to suspend disbelief.

I think with tighter editing, additional beta input, and cleaning up some of the extraneous information in the story, this would have been much better.

At first, I was laughing. Then I started to arch my eyebrow and finally settled on scratching my head. I can’t decide whether to call this story by Michael War strangely magical or magically awkward. But one thing is for sure. I uncomfortably enjoyed it!

“I didn’t expect it to be so small.”

I can’t tell how small is small but that was hilarious! The title says, “Under five” but I am certain it is only pertaining to the length. The diameter must have made an acceptable compensation; otherwise, Mike wouldn’t have been able to find his true love in the end.

Mike is an attractive guy who works in a museum and Kevin, (his supposed-to-be-Mr.-Right-Kevin), is a ‘beefy read-head.’ Their attraction was ‘cute’ and is starting to go in the right direction. Desperate to pass muster, Mike decided to try a spell that is supposed to earn his wiener a few inches, but it resulted in something bigger than life.

The sudden turn of events made the story even weirder but more interesting at the same time. The spell did not just change the story, it made a story of its own.

At first, it was hard for me to welcome the idea that this is super-strangeness and romance combined in a novel. But in the end, I just went with the flow and accepted that ‘this is happening.’ Despite all the weirdness going on, I was entertained reading about Mike and the other characters in this story.

It wasn’t until near the end that I got familiarized on the author’s writing style. But aside from the fact that this is my first Michael War read, this is novel is really short as to be almost at the point of being called an excerpt, and I hope to read (and continue to read) more books from him. Maybe as long as he is writing romance books. Or maybe until the weird becomes normal.

***ARC copy was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review***

"Please grant me the knowledge that I seek and deliver the answer to my worries."

That was how it all started.

Well, that, a witch doctor, a candle, and some burning hair wrapped in a leaf.

And the unexpected appearance of a clone. Or his identical twin. Whatever you want to call the doppelganger.

This story was nothing at all like I'd anticipated once Angel, the 'twin', made his appearance.

Instead of immediately answering the Mike's initial "is my penis too small to keep a partner long-term" question, Mike begins to see how his 'twin' interacts with the world. And, in turn, how people see him as interacting with the world.

I'll be honest, a lot of this story left me wanting more. I never felt entirely compelled to keep reading, which isn't great for a 120+ page story.

While I did enjoy some parts of the book, there was just something that I felt was missing. That intangible quality the pulls you in and keeps you on the edge of your seat.

I think that part of what I may have felt missing was due to the fact that Mike, at least partially, kept Kevin at arm's length, not wanting to go 'full frontal' and chance their budding romance before he'd fully figured out the answer from the spell.

The steamier bits were fairly limited, but pretty satisfying, when they did occur, with emphasis on the cuddly after-glow to help convey that it wasn't only about sex for anyone involved.

I did like where the fate of the 'twin' ended up going, as I'd grown a bit attached to him, just as Mike and his sister Carmen both had.

So if you're looking for a light paranormal romance, you might enjoy this story. I was just hoping for a bit more *zing* than the book delivered.

3.25 stars.