It's Momplicated

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date: 04 Dec 2018

Member Reviews

Everyone has a mother in some shape or form... whether she was around and loving, around but distant, hardly around, or never around. Our relationships are different but since no one is perfect, we are all sinners, there are bound to be thorns among the roses. This book is for everyone! It's Momplicated addresses many situations but doesn't speak in a negative condescending tone. It's one of grace and forgiveness. One of healing and beautifying. The thought provoking questions at the end of each chapter can be done individually or with a group. They cause the reader to really dig into their past and deal with it instead of just tossing it to the side thinking that that alone will remove it from their life. There are so many examples! I loved the way the book didn't leave you to stew in your hurt but gently guides the reader through examples, scripture, and encouragement towards restoration. There are practical ways we can relate to our moms and accomplishable next steps. It's hopeful and realistic but not in a fake impractical way. I can't wait to go back through this book slowly and allow God to use it to change my life.

I received a copy of this book from CelebrateLit. This has in no way influenced my review. All thoughts are my own.
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Wish I had had this book many years ago. Uplifting and very meaningful, this book will help the mother - daughter relationship. Very well done. 

Thanks to author,publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free, this had no bearing on the rating I gave it.
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A highly relevant book about the complicated relationship between mothers and daughters. Alsdorf and Kay delve into the complicated aspect of past hurts and relational patterns that affect present relationships. They provide practical solutions for finding forgiveness through faith in God. All mothers and daughters should read this book!
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I think I cried more through this book than I did with any other book I can recall reading. It was intense in a way that many of us need. It called to this reader in a way that I never knew I needed but it certainly left me with feeling that I can be a new mom and a new daughter still. It isn’t easy navigating the channels of motherhood and daughter-hood. But this book allows for you to learn to forgive, love strong and lean more on God.

It starts with personal stories, then prayer. Each chapter and section is designed for you not only to recall the past but find ways to mend the future as needed. I love that I was constantly reminded that moms are not perfect and we are not alone. Motherhood can feel lonely, it is a host of emotions that a man will never feel, a connection from birth to death with your children. This book was a loving reminder that we can lean on God through this journey.
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I wasn’t really sure what to expect when I started reading this book. I have an unusual backstory when it comes to the mom thing. There’s a whole lot of baggage there too, so I was hoping that I would perhaps find some comfort in between the pages of this book. While I didn’t find the exact solace I was seeking, I did find this – I am not the only person in the world with a mom problem. There are so many unique stories about daughters and moms, many of which make mine seem inconsequential. In fact, they almost make mine look like a walk in the park. Maybe there is comfort in that alone, or at least a little bit of comfort.

As I was reading I felt like I was sitting in a group where everyone shared their story about their relationship with their mother. I didn’t dislike this, however I think I was looking for something a little bit deeper. There were reflective questions at the end of the chapters, but I still felt as if I was missing something. I wasn’t connecting with the stories, and I just wasn’t feeling their stories apply to my life. However, it could very well be because I went into the book expecting something totally different, and my mind sort of stayed closed to that idea.

But here’s what I loved – I loved feeling like that I was surrounded by lifelong friends. I loved the centralized theme that God’s love is most important. And I loved the chapters that reminded me that my mother’s failures did not have to be my failures. I am my own person and with the strength of God, I can change our family history, which is something I’d like to think that I’ve done. I think this is a great book for someone who wants to read stories and connect with other moms. It’s good for some light reflection on motherhood. It may even be good to read with your mom and discuss!

I received a complimentary copy of this book. I was not required to write a favorable review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
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Momplicated is a self-help book examining relationships between mothers and daughters. It is chock full of real life stories from the authors of the relationships they had with their mothers (from completely different backgrounds), the challenges they faced and how they overcame them.
The book is divided into three sections outlining the kinds of challenges every woman faces in her relationship with her mother/mother figure, God’s design for mothers, and healing steps. There’s a lot of personal stories shared throughout each section illustrating the points presented, including developmental needs/stages/etc. that affect us throughout our entire lives. A fair amount of biblical references are given. At the end of each chapter are a variety of questions regarding different aspects covered. These questions are meant to help the reader identify potential “momplications”, to process, and begin healing from the past. (There is a disclaimer to seek professional help if the reader needs it.) And “Connect with God” prayers close the chapters.
For me personally, I found the book heavy on the story side of things. It was difficult to focus and concentrate, even though the personal/real life stories were well written. The authors bounce back and forth between each other, though it’s always clearly labeled who is writing (perhaps this attributed to my lack of connection with the text?). 
Much credence is given to childhood experiences shaping who we are later on (which I’m totally on board with) but it seems hopeless when it’s pointed out that even the best of mother-daughter relationships have “momplications”. It was more discouraging than encouraging, reading that my little ones will be forever “momplicated” by me (thereby guaranteeing that they will need this book in the future…). 
Some quotes at the beginnings of chapters are from secular authors so this was a bit of a letdown for me when one author in particular promotes self-love, and Scripture talks about men becoming lovers of themselves rather than lovers of God. Other quotes used are from noted false teachers (though the authors of this book don’t rely heavily on the quotes used in their own text).
In all honesty, I’ve read books by other well-known Christian counsellors that haven’t raised flags by using quotes from false teachers or secular authors, and that have given practical advice based on Scripture providing hope (instead of discouragement). I would be quick to recommend those books over this one.
Unfortunately this book fell short of my expectations.
I received an ecopy from the publisher through NetGalley. All opinions expressed are my own.
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It’s Momplicated 

I love the name of the book, of course, a made up word but so true with mother/ daughter relationships. The makes you think about your relationship with God, with your mother and with your daughter. Brings back memories from my childhood and my daughter childhood. 

The book has lot of useful information, at the of the chapters has questions to make you think and answer.  A lot of examples from the authors with their relationships. I found the book very interesting. Love the chapter when comparing to the Serenity Prayer and how to use that for healing. 

I received an complementary copy of the book from Celebrate Lit. I was not required to write an positive review.
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I didn't know what to expect from this book, but "momplicated" sounds just about the right term to describe the relationship I have with my mum. And it doesn't help that we hold different religious views. So as a believer, I do have tons of baggage (who doesn't?) and the authors of this book shared their stories and examples in a relatable way... I kept nodding my head as I went along reading. 

I love the "Explore Your Story" at the end of every chapter, where readers are encouraged to answer reflective questions in their own situations and anchor on the Truth of God's Word in their circumstance. Connecting with God and healing is made very possible if you are honest with yourself and are willing to try out the steps recommended. Even if your mum is not around or it's not possible for her to be a part of the process, one can still heal internally (with the Lord's help) as they journey through this resource. 

I received an advanced readers' copy as a part of the launch team. However, the review is based on my unbiased and honest opinion.
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Mom had a young heart and loved to laugh and be silly. I loved laughter and being silly too, so we made a great pair.

We went through a lot together. And now, I look after her and her home without her. Her mind slipped away after my little brother died and she is just kind of existing now. It’s definitely not always easy, in fact it’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to endure in my life, having my best friend slip away from me like this.

But I admit, it wasn’t always a healthy relationship on either side. I’ve realized recently, that I picked up on Mom’s emotions and frustrations and tiredness and instead of submitting it to God and having a healthy, helpful relationship with her, I tried to become her rescuer. I could have done all the same things, helped the same way, but I could have done it with an attitude submitted to God, and doing my best and letting God do the rest. But in a way, I acted out of pride, the “great fixer of things”. Like Mighty Mouse, I’d fly in to save the day!!”

I think the authors of It’s Momplicated have done a great job discussing the dynamics of relationships between moms and daughters. While I am just a daughter and not a mother, I knew I could at least relate to one side of the issue when I read this book.

Two women give their accounts of their relationships with their mothers. Each woman tells her experience and what she has learned. (Technical issue: Even though they gave the name of the person who was giving her story, it was a little tedious to keep track of, it bounced around a bit and made it hard to follow. I think the book could have used better organization.) The bottom line to the whole issue of a mother daughter relationship is being centered on Christ. Doing what God requires of us, to love and to honor our parents (My note – not from the book: “Honor your father and mother” doesn’t have an expiration date on it. You honor your parents for life, whether they are alive or not). Above all, beyond everything else, is forgive, because we all fail each other. We all mess up. We all hurt each other. Forgive and move on, in wisdom is the best way to mend any relationship, even a “momplicated” one 😊

This book is good for any Christian woman who struggles with the emotional issues of motherhood, whether it’s being a mother or having a mother or both. It could also be good for a non-Christian, but I think it may be a bit hard to understand a lot of the principles, because most of them are from the Bible. Being born again, having God’s spirit living within is the main means of having the ability to overcome the hard things and forgive, even when the person hasn’t asked for it.

DISCLAIMER:  I received this book as a gift.  The opinions I express are provided without obligation for a positive review. I receive no compensation for the review, other than a really good read.

Read my full review at my blog
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If you are a mom, or a daughter, you will want to read this book. It is powerful and life-giving. These ladies dive right in to the hard issues that we face. Issues relating to our relationship with our mother. And how we can learn from our past and move forward to be a better mom for our daughters.

I found many, many thoughts that I'd love to share here, but there are just too many I don't even know where to start.

One of the main ideas presented here is that we ALL have imperfect mothers. Just like each one of us mothers would be the first to admit that we are also imperfect in our mothering.

This book gives keys to help you become aware of areas in your life that you need healing. Tools to recognize, and then help you move on and be the mom your children need.  To be the mother that God is calling you to be.

I've learned so much from reading this book, and I hope to remember and utilize it as I grow in my Christian life.

Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review, and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
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No matter how great your mom is, mother-daughter relationships are complicated.  Or, as Debbie Alsdorf and Joan Edwards Kay say, they are “momplicated.”  Those ways you are anchored to your mom for life. The ways you rub each other the wrong way and hurt each other, sometimes completely unintentionally or even unknowingly.

Relationships with our moms are complicated. Or should we say "momplicated?" + enter the giveaway! -

It's Momplicated walks through some of the ways our relationships are momplicated: the full spectrum from situations of abuse or neglect to innocent miscommunications or childhood misunderstandings.  While reading this book, I was reminded of an incident with my little sister when we were 6 and 8 years old.  I was reading the side of a cereal box, out loud to myself, and when I read the words “total fat,” she thought I was talking about her!  (There was nothing fat about my sister, by the way!).  She let me hear it – she called me a “meaniestatic” – and the name has jokingly stuck around since then.  But just like my sister misunderstood, sometimes our little girl minds and hearts (or even our big girl minds and hearts) just don't get it.

3 Things I Loved About It's Momplicated
Even while this book gave us all permission to examine our hearts and our memories to expose where we may have been hurt and need God's healing touch, there was no mom-bashing here.  This was surprisingly true even for situations that might have truly merited it.  The authors were full of grace (not excuses) even for moms who had completely dropped the ball in big scary ways.  There can be room in our hearts to have both grace and boundaries.

The authors recognized that regardless of “whose fault” it is that our relationships and perspectives get so tangled, we + God are in control of what happens next.  Each chapter walked us from a place of understanding what might need God's touch in our lives to inviting that touch, not blaming Mom.  There was one chapter at the end about resolving issues with your mom.  But most of the book discussed how God wants to heal and restore you.  It's Momplicated is less about you + Mom, and more about bringing your history with Mom into God's safe, healing hands.  It's more about you + Jesus.  That means that if these complications maybe took place in a different relationship, not a mother-daughter relationship, you can still apply the principles and journal reflections to invite God to restore you.

Our moms aren't perfect – even great moms like mine!  But each chapter of It's Momplicated brought us face to face with how God fulfills our needs perfectly. He parents us the way mom or dad never could.  This part of the chapter brought me to tears almost every time.  I know this stuff. I grew up in church, I'm a licensed pastor…but sometimes we forget that that's really how God feels about me.

Yes – if you are ready to grow, to take ownership, and to be challenged.  Don't read it in a few days.  (I did, because I goofed up my dates on this review!).  Take your time.  I'm going to go back and spend some time on the journal prompts.  It's going to require some wrestling.  You and Jesus will need to decide if this book is right for you in this season.  You probably won't want to read it with your mom, although I'm going to encourage my mom to read it.  But you might want to have a close friend or mentor to talk things over with.

This book is a lot to process – in a good way.  So don't think you're going to magically arrive at something different.  That would be like buying a book on weight loss and then assuming you'll just drop the pounds by reading it.  I've been asking myself as I read..a lot of “why” questions.  Why do I feel this way when…? Why do I overreact when…?  I did wish for more help with the momplications in our relationships that are really my complications.  But I think that by continuing to bring these questions to God in prayer, he will reveal what needs healing in my heart, and what I need to change.
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It’s Momplicated. It’s not always easy to admit the good, bad and in between in our relationships — with our moms AND as a mom. I love this book as it reveals the truth in the sometimes just simply momplicated moment in life.

Authors Debbie Alsdorf and Joan Edwards Kay co wrote this book that helps break barriers in our mom life - whether you have a good relationship with your mom or your kids think of you as the worlds best - we must remember no mom is a perfect mom. And, that’s ok!

This book can be read in a gentle, leisurely way or more in depth utilizing the sections “explore your story” to help overcome past, present and future moments that try to shape and define you.

I encourage every woman to grab a copy of this book. Ladies, we all have moms even if the relationship wasn’t the best or even existent. If you seek healing for yourself - grab a copy! You owe it to yourself.
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I am probably not the best person to review IT'S MOMPLICATED, but I signed up for it anyway. I had a very good relationship with my mother. She wasn't perfect -- who is? But she was my best friend when I grew up. Was, because she's gone on to glory. And so far I have a really good relationship with my children.

It was quite sad and startling to read through the pages of IT'S MOMPLICATED to find out that some real life mothers were not as good as mine. I went through the self-checks and my mother never did well, most of the things listed. She did make an occasional comment about my looks (I prayed you wouldn't look like my mother-in-law.... I do. Enough said.) 

But anyway, if you are someone who has been hurt by your mother, either as a child or an adult, or if you are a mom who hurt your children verbally or physically or unintentionally, then maybe IT'S MOMPLICATED will be a good book to consider. It is written by professionals and has a scriptural base, and it might help to bring healing to your emotional relationship with your mother or children.

This would be good to study through on your own or in a small group setting of trusted friends. Recommended for counselors and preachers as well. 

I was given an Advance Reader Copy free. All opinions are my own.
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Two women share their stories of how complicated the Mother/Daughter relationship can be. One of the many things I love about this book is it is not a blame game book. Which leads to another thing I love. It helps the reader to learn to see the other person not just as a mother or daughter but as a separate individual living out their own story. Which each one sees from their own perspective of their life experiences both good and bad. 

The authors remind us we're each one created in the image of God and what He says about us is Truth. Sometimes what we hear from our homes, our friends, our co-workers, our church, the world, even from ourselves is not always based on Truth. It's often tainted, with thoughts and beliefs from the stories that have been lived, told to us or are occurring at the moment.

This book is chocked full of wisdom. It points the reader toward healing, to be honest healing often comes by taking an honest look at the Mother/Daughter relationship with open eyes knowing you're walking on level ground, neither is above the other. You're both individuals doing the best you can. However, there is always room for improvement, encouragement and celebration. 

Even if you're like me and your mother no longer walks this earth or you're a male this book would be good for you to read. Because healing can still happen and the relationship we have/had with our mothers and our perceptions of it and ourselves, effects many areas of our lives.

The book has scripture all through it but it's not preachy. I like the "Explore your story" section at the end of the chapters, it encourages the reader to think about how what they've read may apply in their lives. The chapters are closed with beautifully written prayers.

I'd recommend this book to anyone and while it's centered on Mother/Daughter relationships I believe a lot of it could be used to help improve other relationships as well.

The quote below is part of one of the prayers in the book, I see it as a blessing spoke that I pray all readers may see in their lives.

"May I accept my past as part of my story but recognize that the story is not over."

I received an advanced copy from the publisher, these are my thoughts on the book.
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Daughters and moms are sometimes awesome together and sometimes the relationship isn’t that great. Such a great book to read and gain insight into how to resolve some of the issues you might have or had. This connection with these two is vital
in our lives. I personally needed to read this. I highly recommend this book to all woman.
I was given an advanced copy by the publisher. This is my honest opinion.
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There isn’t a women I know who hasn’t had some type of Momlication in her life. Whether it was all good, all bad, or somewhere in between, it’s leaves a lasting imprint on our souls. In this book, “It’s Momplicated” both Debbie and Joan discuss their relationship with their Moms, along with examples of others with theirs. They show how any mother-daughter relationship can always use a bit of reflection and healing along the way. I recommend this book to all Moms and daughters, because I know being a daughter and a Mom, how complicated the relationship can get. #netgalley
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It’s Momplicated by Debbie Alsdorf and Joan Edwards Kay is a beautiful book. They speak of mothers being our first love. Nothing can separate us from our mothers, not time, not space, not death. So true. The authors were very brave to write this book because their childhood experiences are heartbreaking but they were able to find healing thru God’s grace. I would recommend this book. It’s beautifully written. I like the prayers at the end of each chapter and it provides a guide to healing for imperfect mother/daughter relationships.  I was provided an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review .
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This book has a lot of value in moving toward healing bad relationships or scars from them, but I don’t think it is for those who have a great relationship with their mother. I read the book and was pained with the stories of both author’s relationships with their moms, but I have a wonderful relationship with mine, so I could not relate. I like the questions and prayers at the end of each chapter. It will be a good resource for me to recommend to others but did not fit my situation at all.
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Have you ever thought about the legacy you received from your mom? What if the mother-daughter relationship left you with scars? What if the memories you have of your mom are more negative than positive?

It’s Momplicated walks you through the healing process. The writers gently inspire you to uncover the memories of your mother-daughter relationship and discover your momplications. As you work through your memories, they share stories of other women and their mothers – not for you to compare lives and to feel burdened, but for you to realize that healing is possible.

Know God – Both Joan and Kay recognize that true healing comes from our Heavenly Father. They encourage you to seek God during the healing process. The book includes Bible verses and biblical concepts for you to meditate on. Each chapter ends with a prayer related to the steps or lessons covered.

Know yourself – In order for you to be healed, you have to admit how your momplications have affected your life. Each woman will have a different story. As you work through the exercises in the book you’ll learn more about yourself, don’t be surprised if you realize some of your habits and practices are the result of hidden momplications.

Run your race – Every woman’s mother story is different. Our mothers leave different impressions on our lives and the way we respond to them will be unique. We have to be bold enough to walk the path we are given. We have to be brave enough to seek the healing that we need. 

I received a free copy of It’s Momplicated through the Lindsay Hartz Author Ambassador program and Netgalley as part of the book’s launch. A positive review was not required.
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Mom/daughter relationships indeed can be up and down and very complicated. No matter where you're at in your relationship this book will touch you and help you to improve your relationship. Stop avoiding conflict, break the recycling of hurt, and unstick those sticky areas and be free!
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