Cover Image: The Girl He Used to Know

The Girl He Used to Know

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Member Reviews

This book was amazing! I loved every second of it. I have never read a book like this with a autistic main character that was so refreshing to see that perspective written. I fell in love with the characters especially Annika but Jonathan and Janice too. They were so well written and such special characters the uniqueness of getting to understand the perspective of a women living with autism made Annika stand out and the kindness and compassion of Johnathan and Janice made them some of my favorite characters I’ve ever read about. The love story was beautiful and sweet and the ending had me holding my breath! I loved the development of Annika and the courage and strength she grew into it was beautiful heartwarming story that will be hard to leave I miss the characters already

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I was so excited to dive into this story because I’m a big fan of TGG. Unfortunately, this is probably my least favorite of her novels. Couldn’t quite connect with Annika. However, I really liked Jonathan. This isn’t a spoiler because their breakup is shared in the first chapters, but when the reason for their breakup is finally revealed, it felt like TGG didn’t put much thought into it. Also, the last few chapters of the story confused me a bit. It’s like TGG didn’t know how to end the book so she decided to take us on a wild ride and kick us out of a moving vehicle. So abrupt and somewhat sloppy.

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The Girl He Used to Know is the first book I’ve read by Tracey Garvis Graves, and it will not be my last. I love the author’s writing style - it flows really well. The characters are fantastic and very real, as is the storyline. The ending was perfect - I was so glad it didn’t go the other way,

I received an advance copy of this book.

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In this outstanding novel, we meet Annika who suffers from some form of Autism when she enrolls in university. To navigate her environment is difficult for Annika and she faces many problems in typical social situations. This made me aware of how we act and treat people with a disability or just people who are different. Often her fellow students take advantage of her condition, like her first boyfriend. She finds help through her roommate Janice who becomes her interpreter what ‘normal’ people would do. Through the chess club Annika gets some interaction and here she meets Jonathan, her great love and supporter. Unfortunately, life separates them and they meet by chance 10 Years later. I do not want to give away too much but the ending is surprising and the whole story fascinated me. I definitely would recommend this book.

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4.5 Stars

The Girl He Used to Know is another fabulous read by this author. This author is a favorite of mine. She knows how to make you feel every emotion that the characters are going through. This book is raw and emotional with a surprising twist.

We really understand the story of how Annika and Jonathan met and reconnected as it flip flops from the past and present throughout the book. Annika is a unique character who you just want to befriend, even with all her quirkiness and honesty. And it's exactly what made Jonathan Hoffman fall for her ten years ago in college.

Annika and Jonathan shared a special bond. Jonathan understood her the way no one else did and she brought out the best of him. But after college plans fall through, their college love affair took a toll and they grew apart. Ten years later, Annika and Jonathan reconnect and begin to rekindle their friendship and romance. They are older and been through a lot over the years, but still the same with each other.

A fabulous second chance story.

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This book absorbed me so much thst I read it in one sitting. I loved the characters and felt very profoundly for Annika as a person. I enjoyed the back and forth. The ending was a bit rushed and I could have used an epilogue, but overall... All the feels.

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This was a totally engaging book about a college student named Annika who struggled lifelong with social cues. She was naturally very beautiful and smelled good without ever having to wear perfume. While being born with these physically attractive gifts, life could still become dangerous to someone so vulnerable and easily taken advantage of. Annika had been home-schooled since the seventh grade following a horrible bullying incident. She didn't know anything else but to say honestly what she thought. Some people might find this refreshing, but others might find it laughable and a reason to mock her. She survived just enough by carefully watching the way other people acted in social situations, and then mimicked them. Now she was at college in her home state of Illinois, and she had a wonderful and caring roommate named Janice. Janice patiently explained things to Annika to help her navigate life.

One evening when Annika was frustrated and actually planned to have her parents pick her up the next morning to abandon college, Janice encouraged her to go to the Student Union building for some lemonade. Knowing that Annika was a masterful chess player, Janice casually steered her towards the chess team who were having their usual Sunday gathering. It was here, during 1991,that Annika met Jonathan...the love of her life.

The book begins ten years later in August 2001. We learn that something had happened to break these two lovers up, and Jonathan had been living in New York until recently. They had both been shopping in a supermarket named Mariano's, a favorite of theirs. They are shocked at seeing each other after all these years, both experiencing a multitude of emotions. He's been living in Illinois for several months to tend to his ailing mother before she died. They marvel at how they never ran into each other until today. It's obvious that something tore these two apart ten years ago, but there's still "something" there. There's also a hesitancy on Jonathan's part, but on impulse Annika asks for Jonathan's phone number as he's about to walk away. Annika's been growing as a person since they separated a decade ago. She now visits a therapist named Tina, and one of the main topics Annika works on is the impact of her failed relationship with Jonathan. She also discusses her challenges with daily living, as someone who feels as though she's living life without a map while others don't need one. So, the two main issues driving this story are Annika's mental roadblocks and the mystery of why this relationship unraveled when they clearly never stopped loving each other.

The book is narrated randomly in chapters by Jonathan or Annika, and you know this without seeing the name because of how exquisitely this author captures their personas in dialogue. Annika will snare your heartstrings with her simple and honest narration, which I'm sure many will identify with, some who suffer with her affliction and even some that don't. Just to name some of her "quirks", she has no shame of nakedness, cannot withstand loud/throbbing music (such as in a bar), and would much prefer reading a book in bed than going to a party.

The story of Annika and Jonathan deliciously unfolds to an incredibly emotional and unexpected crescendo. This was a very satisfying and moving read that swept me away. My heart is full!

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I read The Girl I Used to Know in one sitting. These two characters captured my heart from the start and would not let go. At first, it seemed to be following the typical trope of a college couple reuniting after years apart, but this story became anything but typical. Reading this book was an emotional, heartwarming, and inspiring experience for me.

The writing is really smart and thoughtful. The story alternates between Annika’s and Jonathan’s perspectives and between two different time periods-  both characters have their own unique voice that is true to their character. Their voices change and grow over the years and really shows the full arc of their characters. Getting to read the unique perspective and understanding of Annika- who is on the autism spectrum- really endeared me toward her. It was really heartwarming to see her grow over the course of the novel and command more agency in her own life. I absolutely fell in love with her character- crying when she was struggling and rooting for her success. It was heartbreaking to read, but also really refreshing and inspiring at the same time.

“I remember feeling stunned when Tina explained that most people draw these conclusions instantaneously, without any extra analysis at all. How amazing but also heartbreaking, because I’ll never be one of them.”Annika

The support that Annika receives from those that love her- her parents, Janice, her brother, and Jonathan-  really shows that it is not about those that try to bring you down for your differences, but the precious few that love you because of your differences.
“I’m trying to explain that the way you navigate the world will never be more important than the type of person you are.” Jonathan

My only complaint was that the climax and resolution both seemed a little rushed. I wanted the long, super sappy, drawn-out ending, but I was still really happy with the ending overall. This story has a powerful and heartwarming message that I think will resonate with everyone.

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Having recently finished “The Girl He Used to Know” by Tracey Garvis Graves, I am happy to have had the chance for the preview; thank you NetGalley and St. Martin's Press!

I really enjoyed this romance with unexpected...didn't see it coming... high drama the last several chapters. Annika and Jonathan's kisses that "taste like Pep O Mint Life Savers" moments were well worth my time. I felt I knew them and grew to understand their personalities as their story progressed. I will miss and remember the moments that I was immersed in their heart-warming love story.

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4.5 STARS

I've been having a hell of a time finding the perfect rating for The Girl He Used To Know - I think this is one of those books that you need to read a second time to get the full experience. You are very much in the dark as to why Annika and Jonathan's relationship didn't survive. You know it wasn't lack of love because that's still there on both accounts. By the time you learn what happened you need to go back to the beginning to remember both of their feelings and memories when they reunited and rekindled their connection.
Standing on the sidewalk, I wonder if she remembers how it felt to be in love with me? I haven’t forgotten how it felt to be in love with her.

This heroine is what makes this book outstanding. Annika has so many quirks that her quirks have quirks. She is unable to recognize people's intentions, their feelings and how to react to people's actions. She has a childlike quality to her, a sweet and kind nature, that I found incredibly endearing. Her desire for independence and her single-minded determination made her admirable, her frustration with herself, her anxiety, her loneliness and her fierce love for Jonathan made my heart ache.

“I never know what people are thinking. It’s like visiting a country where you don’t speak the language and you’re trying so hard to understand but no matter how many times you ask for juice, they keep bringing you milk. And I hate it.”

Some of Jonathan's reactions to Annika were born out of his own insecurities and frustration which came from an inability to understand her sometimes. Some of the things young Jonathan said painted a selfish picture which I don't think he really was because of all the other times he took care of Annika and protected her. That message on her voice recorder when we learn what he said in the end gutted me. He didn't handle Annika's feelings to that one life-changing event during their college time very well but I also got where Jonathan was coming from and that it was an expression of his frustration and hurt.

I genuinely believe that he loved her deeply, the way he treated Annika with so much care, how he not only accepted her quirks but found them adorable.

There is nothing better than a great friend at your side who looks out for you. Annika's best friend Janice is the best of the best. I was so glad that Annika had someone who accepted her and loved her without conditions.

“Are you going to kiss me?”
He laughed. “I was planning on it, yes.”
“Okay. I’m ready.”

When you look at the date this story is set in, you know which major event that changed the world will be the backdrop of the finale in this story. The last 20% were a mix of harrowing emotions, anxiety, heartbreak, relief and joy.

The half star deduction comes from the lack of an epilogue. I wish we could have had a couple of pages more with a bit more sweetness between Jonathan and Annika, that would give us the sense that this time they'd go the distance and make it work. I didn't get that completely.

THE GIRL HE USED TO KNOW is a tender one-of-a-kind love story, one that will stay for me for a long time. Despite the lack of an epilogue it still goes on my favorites shelf. I loved Jonathan and Annika who felt so real and authentic, who had flaws and never claimed to be perfect yet still aimed to be. I'm sure I will re-read this poignant, meaningful, wonderful and all the other -fuls story again.

"It’s me, Annika.”
“It’s always been you,” she says as she presses her lips to mine.

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“Reading transported me to exotic locales, fascinating periods in history, and worlds vastly different from my own” .
Annika (the main character) admits she prefers books and animals to people. She has a hard time communicating with others and usually says the wrong thing. Then she meets someone who loves her bluntness and accepts her completely as she is. .
I loved this book! It is a story that shows true love is the person who accepts you completely how you are. Thank you @netgalley and @stmartinspress for this book in exchange for an honest review.

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The Girl He Used to Know is a charming, heartwarming, romantic, and unique love story that captured my heart from the first page. The story is told through two timelines, switching seamlessly between 1991, when the couple meets in college, and 2001, when their paths cross again. The story alternates between Annika’s and Jonathan’s points of view, and both of the timelines and voices are easy to follow. Both characters were well-developed, extremely likable, and their perspectives were equally compelling.

Without giving away any spoilers, Annika has the characteristics of someone on the Autism spectrum. The author’s portrayal of Annika is spot on. (I work in the field of special education with students who are on the spectrum, and the author’s portrayal of Annika is realistic). The author must have had familiarity with an adult on the spectrum in order to depict such an authentic characterization of Annika. There is not a false note in the entire book. With sensitivity and compassion, Ms. Graves gives the reader insight into the mind of an adult on the autism spectrum that surpasses any book I have read dealing with a similar topic. Unlike characters on the autism spectrum who are depicted simplistically in many novels, Annika is a fully realized character. The author realistically portrays Annika’s challenges which include: difficulty interpreting social norms and the behavior of others, craving of order and discipline, social awkwardness, anxiety, bullyinf and trying to fit in.

Throughout the book, the author shows the reader how Annika’s “differences” are actually her “strengths”. An added bonus is that this book is set in Illinois. Annika and Jonathan attend college at the University of Illinois, Champaign, and ten years later they reunite in Chicago. The reader also learns about the inner workings of collegiate chess tournaments.

Overall, this is a tender, powerful, uplifting love story that will warm your heart. The characters are multidimensional and you be invested in them, root for them, grow to love them, and admire them for their courage, ability to change, fight for each other, and to help each other heal. I am still thinking about this book weeks after I finished it. I didn’t want this book to end, and am hoping that Ms. Graves will write a sequel. Review by Guest Fairy Ronna.

Quotes I liked:
I never know what people are thinking. It’s like visiting a country where you don’t speak the language and you’re trying so hard to understand but no matter how many times you ask for juice, they keep bringing you milk.”

“Marched to the beat of a different drum, did she? She marched to the beat of an entirely different band. One you’ve never heard of and under no circumstances ever expected to like.”

“All my life, I’d been waiting for someone I could be myself with. It had never occurred to me that I could be that person for someone else.”

“I try so hard to fit in. I spend hours studying behaviors…”It’s like everyone around you has a copy of the script of life, but no one gave it to you so you have to go in blind and hope you can muddle your way through. And you’ll be wrong most of the time.”

“Concentrating on the game eliminated a lot of the anxious clutter that constantly took up real estate inside my brain.”

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This was one of those books that you just get right into and want to read. Annika is a different woman who struggles relating to others. But back in college she met Jonathan who understood her from day one. All through college they are together and fall in love. Years later, by chance they meet at a grocery store and then decide to meet for coffee. Through the span of the book, you find out how thy get together and then fall apart then find each other again, but has too much time gone by and can they remember how they loved each other. I would definitely recommend this one to anyone who wants a quick but touching read where you know just whose side you are voting for, but don't think there won't be any surprises in there for you.

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I was really enjoying this book, but the ending really just threw me. I was super stressed out, and I felt like it wasn’t necessary to add to the story. So that may have brought it from a 5 star rating to a 4 for me.

Regardless, I really loved Annika and experiencing the world through her eyes. I was really touched by her relationship with Jonathan, and I was particularly moved by her relationship with Janice.

All around, a solid romance novel that I would recommend.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing a copy in exchange for an honest review.

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Annika is different. Though beautiful, she is extremely shy and constantly unsure of the “right” thing to say or do in social situations. Her heightened anxiety around people means that she sometimes does strange things—and there have been many times in her life when she’s been called out for behaving like a weirdo.

When she finally manages to go off to college (after being homeschooled since 7th grade), she has a tough time. Less than three weeks in, she almost hightails it home. But luckily, she has a caring roommate who genuinely enjoys her quirky personality, and because of it, Annika ends up doing okay. It helps, too, that she finds some activities that keep her calm and focused: mainly reading and chess.

It’s at Chess Club one night that she meets Jonathan. He’s a skilled player, but she wins the first game. Surprised but intrigued, he comes back the following week for a rematch. It’s not easy for Jonathan to crack Annika’s introverted shell, but the two begin to spend more time together and they eventually become very close. The story follows their relationship as it develops, alternating between Annika and Jonathan’s perspectives, both during the early days of their relationship in college, and in the “present” (which in the book is 2001) over five years later.

This is an interesting story. I’ve never met a protagonist like Annika. In fact, when I first started reading this book, I told my husband that I had never identified with a character so much. I honest-to-God felt like someone had followed me around (especially a younger-me) and written a book about it. I could relate to so many of her quirks and fears—from having a hard time holding eye-contact and being unsure of what people are thinking, to being easily overwhelmed by smells and sounds and, here’s the biggie, being completely and fully exhausted by the constant vigilance necessary to watch other people and copy them in an effort to fit in and be normal. It’s so hard to explain what it’s like forever feeling that no matter what environment you’re in, you absolutely don’t belong. Somehow the social norms that seem to come so easily to others just don’t for you.

Of course it eventually comes out that Annika has a specific medical issue she’s dealing with—which, in turn, made me question why I related to this character so much. (I guess I’ll just have to work that out on my own… 😳) But I think the main takeaway here is that, in Annika, author Tracey Garvis Graves paints an exceptional portrait of a full and complete, and maybe slightly tormented, human. The book reads a little cold and distant at times (which I suppose is fitting for Annika’s character…), but it absolutely draws the reader in. I ignored my family for two days while I barreled through it, unable (or really just unwilling) to put it down. Even now, a week later, I’m thinking, thinking, thinking about it.

My only criticism—and I almost took off a full star for this, but, in the end, decided not to—is that the ending is waaaaay outta left field. I mean, like for real. The ending could have been a whole other book in itself, so I had a really hard time wrapping my mind around the what and the why and the huh? It was a little odd.

STILL. The rest of the book was ridiculously good, in my opinion. Significant. I enjoyed it so much that I’m giving it five stars. I don’t know that everyone will love it as much as I did, but this one is definitely worth a read.

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Received an advanced copy from Netgalley and a print copy courtesy of the publisher though a giveaway.

I flew through The Girl He Used to Know and really enjoyed its storytelling and emotion. The story of a couple that fell in love in college then reunite 10 years later is told well through alternating perspectives and times (flashing between 1991 and 2001). Annika and Jonathan are easy to love and you root for them so hard and so quickly.

This book is one of a handful I've read in the last year that has a main character with an autism spectrum disorder and when written from the first person it is compelling to see Annika adapting and compensating and Jonathan learning and loving. I cannot speak for individuals on the spectrum about whether this is an authentic representation but I hope it is because I love seeing this representation in women's fiction and romance.

(spoilers below)

The twist, such as it is, of this book is that the conflict is not internal like you would expect in a story about second-chance romance but very, very external: toward the end, we're in Chicago in August and September 2001 and Jonathan works in finance. I had a hunch this might end with Jonathan being in New York on September 11 and I was extremely correct. I totally had to flip to the end to check how things shake out because I was not prepared to sob my way through the last 50 pages.

It's a HEA, guys. Don't worry.

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5 Stars!

WOW! This story grabbed from the get-go. Tracey Garvis-Graves wrote a such unique and poignant characters with this one and I know it will be sticking with me for a LONG while. I have to compare this to another novel, but if you read "The Kiss Quotient" and enjoyed it - I did get similar vibes. They are completely different stories, but they did have some similarities.

The Girl He Used to Know switches back and forth between 2001 and ten years prior when the hero and heroine were in college 1991. You get to see how the main characters meet and fall in love and see why their relationship fell apart before fate led them back to each other and the journey to the couple trying to overcome their obstacles to get their happily ever after.

Annika was great! I loved how realistically the author wrote from her perspective. When reading from her point of view, I could actually see things as she saw them and provided me with great insight with how her mind works. She is such a quirky character and Jonathan fell in love with all of her and I adored him for it.

I have to say as an adult in her mid-30's the drastic ending didn't surprise me (I saw it coming with the timelines), but that didn't mean that I wasn't shocked. My only complaint is that the ending was a bit abrupt, but that was only because I wanted to more from Jonathan and Annika. I came to love them as a couple and didn't want to give them up yet.

Pick this up! You will thank me!

"Well , guess what? You haven't changed all that much. You're still the same girl I fell in love with at twenty-two. And here's a newsflash: I like that girl and always have, and I never once said I wanted her to change."

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I did NOT see that coming...but I should have.

I read Graves' On the Island a few years back and it really stuck with me, so much so that I've wanted to pick up all her other books (just haven't yet). I grabbed at the chance to read and review this one and it did not disappoint. Told from two perspectives and two alternating timeframes. We have Annika and Jonathan, we have their relationship in college and ten years later (past vs present). As the reader, we know something happened to their relationship and the tension builds slowly as Graves starts to let us in. Annika struggles with independence and craves routine, she finds solace in joining the chess club in college and meets Jonathan. Present day Annika is a librarian (Swoon) and living in Chicago when she runs into her ex-love of her life.

I'm keeping it there, because I don't want to spoil anything, but once I hit a certain point, I slapped myself in the head, because how could I not figure this out before it basically was in my face?? Ah well, chalk it up to good storytelling. The writing had me engaged and wrapped around the pages. I had to know how this would end and was invested in the relationships. There may have been one too many themes/topics that took the attention away from each other, but I really enjoyed this one. Now, I really must get back to Graves' backlist-- STAT!

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I absolutely adored The Girl He Used to Know. I had high expectations for this book because I enjoyed On the Island and I must say this book didn't disappoint. I think I enjoyed it even more than On the Island.

The Girl He Used to Know is a second chance love story between Annika and Jonathan, who have met in their senior year of college, only to be torn apart by a devastating event in their lives and Annika's struggle to move on from the tragedy and her grief. They reconnect 10 years later and rekindle their relationship but they both still have obstacles to overcome in order for the relationship to work. I loved both Annika and Jonathan. Annika is smart and beautiful but she struggles with social situations and interactions with other people, and Jonathan is extremely patient with her despite the challenges that a relationship with someone like Annika presents. I also loved Annika's friend, Janice, she was such a great character!

The story is told in two timelines, one in 1991, when they first meet, and another 10 years later, in 2001. The biggest part of the book takes place in 1991 and the one thing I wish we would get more of is the 2001 storyline. I wanted to see more of them rediscovering each other and rebuilding their relationship. Regardless, I enjoyed The Girl He Used to Know immensely and cannot recommend it enough.

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This book was very readable with a great plot that made it a quick read. I really liked the balance of a light read that got really heavy at times. I will recommend this book a lot.

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