Brooke pressured Jason “tell me who else was there that night Jase?” he slammed his hands against the table to push himself away, and he got up and told the guard “I’m ready to go back”.

Talk about suspense, mystery and a who, how and why plot. Oh my goodness this book has got it for sure. I could not read the pages fast enough. I had to find out what was going to happen next. It also has pain, heartbreak, resentment, hatred, and a slow journey to healing.

Would I recommend this book? Yes, with out a doubt. I have never read anything by Abigail Johnson before, but you can bet I will now.

Thank you to Harlequin TEEN & NetGalley for the opportunity to read this fantastic book. I received an eARC from them for my honest opinion.

I really enjoyed this one. There were so many layers, different relationships and reasons why for people to behave the way they did. Brooke was dealing with a lot, way more than most teens, and dealt with things in the best way she could. Heath was mature and sweet. I'd love to read more by Abigail Johnson.

Amazing read! The author wrote a story that was interesting and moved at a pace that kept me engaged. The characters were easy to invest in.

**4.5 Stars**

Even If I Fall beautifully handled the parallels of love and guilt without sacrificing the voices of any of its characters. It was powerful to experience Brooke’s exploration of identity among the sharpness of others’ misplaced anger, and how it affected me as a reader—my anger in wanting to protect her while sympathizing with her every emotion. Johnson’s story in connecting two people on such contentious sides of each other wasn’t without its obvious tensions, but the beauty and maturity that grew from finding solace in one another was simply beyond words.

Brooke’s journey was mesmerizing in its ability to transport the reader into this heartbreaking and blanketed life of hers with ease. The ire, disgust, and downright ignorance of the small town was palpable and I wholly admired her for maintaining some semblance of self within it. She still held that fire, whether it was reserved for her own power or that of others she cared about, and that felt completely honest and inescapable of her character. And yet, watching her hold together a family on her own two shoulders was as heartbreaking as it was inspiring. I cherished what grew between her and Heath despite everything that should’ve disallowed it; how the draw they had to each other inspired this openness to be their true selves in spite of the drowning pain and grief. Johnson’s sensitivity to both of their narratives held true to the very end and I loved everything about how it created a well of hope to draw upon—for them and that of their families.

Even If I Fall held a real power in showing acceptance and hope even with an impossible darkness attached. I couldn’t help but become enamored by the resiliency of her character and how deeply she could both love and forgive. It was a story of family and what love can overcome, and it was so very well done.

Even If I Fall was such a wonderful YA contemporary romance! When I started this book, I was a tad bit skeptical that I wouldn't like it. I typically either hate these super cliche "oh our families hate each other but we don't have to" stories or I love them. In this case, I loved it. I was a big fan of the settings, characters, and of the plot.

There were very few settings in this book, maybe about four main ones. These settings were pretty simple, and I greatly appreciated it. They allowed me to focus on the characters instead of flashy descriptions or new environments.
My favorite setting would have to be the secret meeting place for Brooke and Heath. There is only a tree and a lake, but it is the perfect background for Brooke and Heath's relationship to grow.

By the end of Even If I Fall, I had grown so attached to all of the characters. Easily though, my favorite character would have to be Maggie, Brooke's best friend. She was the most relatable for me, as I related to some of her passions and she dealt with genuine, modern-day issues. Maggie has this YouTube channel where she does book cover inspired makeup, and I love the idea so much! If I had any makeup talent, I would definitely be copying that idea.
Throughout the whole book, Brooke and Heath continued to meet at their secret location. These little meetups were where I saw the most character and relationship growth. It was so beautiful to watch them begin to realize that their siblings' crimes weren't their own and that they should try to look past them.

The story itself felt a bit slow at times, but I overall enjoyed the pacing as well as the plot. Even If I Fall mainly focuses on Brooke's growth and acceptance after her brother is sent to prison. As I've mentioned before, there are a lot of moments where Brooke and Heath are talking about their family's history. However, what were the slow parts were Brooke's interactions at the ice rink. Those scenes felt more like filler scenes, and while they were necessary, I don't think as many were needed.

The writing itself was beautiful! I didn't think that I would get attached to this book, but I did! There were some really heart-wrenching, emotional scenes throughout the book that affected me more than I predicted. The writing just flowed in a great way, and I enjoyed every word and chapter. However, there were times when the descriptions of some things confused me. I'll touch on it in the next paragraph, but some technical ice skating moves were described in a way that left me completely confused.

What ultimately made me rate this book 4 stars instead of 5 are for three reasons. The first is some of the descriptive writing. Brooke is a skater and Johnson included some of her skating moves in this story. I liked that they were included, but I found that it was hard for me to imagine what everything looked like. I know that Johnson tried her best to describe the move, but I was never able to understand it fully. I don't entirely blame her, as I can barely do a bunny hop on the ice and know no skating terminology, but I do wish more descriptions were used.
The other part that slightly annoyed me was the twist at the end. I won't try to spoil anything, but the description made it seem as if there was this super big twist at the end. I guess that there was a twist, but in my opinion, it isn't as dramatic as I thought it would be, which was a bit of a letdown.
Finally, Brooke's brother, Jason, seriously bothered me. I am not going to get into it too much as to not spoil the story, but his reasons for murder were not the best. I understand that murder isn't always the most logical action, but everything about it just seemed to go against Jason’s character. Throughout the story, more of his personality was revealed, and when the ultimate reason for the murder was explained, I was unimpressed and frankly, I didn't believe that what I had read was the full story. I guess I just needed a better reason for murder than what was given to me.

Overall, I would recommend this book. It was a slower paced book full of conversations, and while some won't be a fan of that, I greatly enjoyed it. The writing in this book was exquisite, and I enjoyed every chapter. Many of the characters were relatable, they weren't extraordinarily unique and they dealt with similar issues that we all face. There were only a couple of small problems that I had with the story. There were just a couple of moments where I was a bit confused, the twist was not as dramatic as I would've liked, and I was bothered by Brooke's brother's reason for murder. But I would still recommend this excellent book!

3.5 stars — This one ended up being a little weird for me, b/c the thing I usually love most about a book is characters…read any of my reviews, it’s always about the characters. Normally if I can’t connect with them, the book is just not going to hold my attention. But this was my exception to the rule!! Because truly, the exploration of what a family would go through in these circumstances was fascinating, and kept my attention. Not to mention the mystery surrounding the murder! I had many theories, and it was interesting to learn pieces at a time. I fell for some red herrings, and definitely didn’t get it right in the end, but I appreciated the answers I got.

I have to say, if you’re going in expecting an epic romance (especially given that blurb), you’re going to be disappointed. The romance was very much a background story. And while it played heavily into Brooke’s journey, I would not categorize this story as a romance. I kind of wanted more to be honest.

What we got instead was a story about a family struggling with something unimaginable. I was sucked in right from the start, and I had a hard time putting it down. There was a point where my attention started to wane, but that could have been just me (either that or the pacing could have used some help).

Brooke was a character that I simultaneously felt a lot for, and had a hard time connecting with. I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but occasionally it felt as though she wasn’t consistent…like I couldn’t figure her out, and certain things didn’t fit. She was so steeped in guilt, it was insanity. And her feelings were often kept close to the vest, even from the reader. The romance actually took me a bit by surprise as a result! Because of the nature of their relationship, it’s not like other romances where you read about their crush and butterflies and stuff. Their feelings for one another were mixed in with all these other feelings, and often the romantic feelings didn’t come to the forefront. It’s hard to describe. Obviously. But I never really got a good handle on what they felt for each other or why…or at least not as much as I would have wanted if this book had been more heavily a romance. I give it a pass because of everything else going on.

The book is full of very flawed characters. They all make such poor decisions, and are constantly hurting each other. It’s very hard to read about actually. Even Brooke was hurting people, from her family to Maggie. Which is why I’m still surprised I enjoyed the story so much. But in the end I really did enjoy watching the dynamics shift in Brooke’s family. When everything came to a head, it was satisfying to watch them start to figure things out and finally heal. While I hated the way they hurt each other, I thought each of their coping mechanisms were completely believable, and I understood how they got to the point they were at at the beginning of the story.

So if you’re desperate for a romance, I’d give this one a pass. But if the whole idea of how a family would cope when one of their own is guilty of murder fascinates you, then you’re looking at the right book. Again, it didn’t have any of my usual go-tos, but it made me think a lot and feel a lot, so I call it a success.

I enjoyed reading this book! It grabbed my attention right away, the story is easy to follow, it flows well! It's a very beautiful and emotional story I had tears in my eyes! It's very heartfelt! I couldn't put it down and finished it in a few hours! It's a story about heartbreaks, family, and forgiveness! And finding friendship in the unlikeliest of places!
I definitely recommend this book! I couldn't get enough!

I received a copy of EVEN IF I FALL from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Thank you so much!

Five stars and here’s why:

I loved it. Outstanding YA story! This book nailed the gut-wrenching sacrifice of two families torn apart by an unforeseen tragedy. Then, it added a tender-hearted layer that not twisted and turned in ways I didn’t expect, but it kept me reading all night long. I simply started reading it and couldn’t put it down. The characters are engaging and relatable. These two teens had the odds stacked against them, but their desire to be loved and appreciated for who they were, and not defined by their families or their circumstances, prevailed.

If you love good writing, engaging characters, and an intriguing plot that explores what it truly means to love someone, then this book is for you. Highly recommend!

I really enjoyed this book! First, I was so shocked that not only did Brooke's older brother really kill his best friend, but he did in cold blood! I was expecting it to be the usual, accidental, death, DWI accident or something along those lines. I loved watching Brooke and Heath's friendship grow into more.. I felt for both characters through this entire book. If you want an emotional read, this it the book for you!

I loved this sweet, heartbreaking story of two families dealing with grief and tragedy. It has been a year since Brooke’s brother Jason has been in jail, since he confessed to the murder of his best friend, Cal. For a year Brooke and her family have been barely getting by. They have been living in almost isolation due to the shame and rejection of their community. When Brooke offers a ride to Cal’s brother Heath on a rainy day, she finds that he is one person who can relate to the terrible loss that her family is feeling.

This book is so much more than a romance between two unlikely characters. The struggles of Brooke’s family after the tragedy really tore at my heart. Here, we get a unique perspective from a teen who has done something that alters the rest of his life. It starts out slowly as Brooke gets to know Heath and their relationship grows, but at this time she also starts pushing Jason for answers. I wasn’t expecting any kind of mystery here, and I was truly surprised by what she discovers in her search. The characters are so well written that I could really feel their pain, and felt myself lifting up with them as they began to find their way. Even if I Fall is a beautiful story of love, family, and friendship, and despite the heavy topic, it left me hopeful and inspired… and maybe with a few tears. I highly recommend this one!

Thank you to NetGalley and Inkyard Press for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed this story. Abigail Johnson did a great job at representing grief on both sides of a situation and they way that it can affect the live of others. Over all this was a very well written and though out story.

I was INSTANTLY enthralled in this story. It reminded me a bit of Saint Anything by Sarah Dessen. I felt like I knew and loved Brooke from page one. I felt her pain and loneliness and confusion and misplaced guilt so strongly. The chemistry, even in the beginning, between Brooke and Heath was so compelling. Their emotions were so honest and raw. I sat down to read a few pages before bed and before I knew it, it was 3:00am and I still couldn’t put it down. The suspense was perfect. It was enough to keep me on edge and turning pages with a NEED to know the truth, but not too suspenseful to be distracting from the honest and beautiful friendship blooming between Brooke and Heath. Their need for each other was such an unlikely and beautiful thing. To find healing in the VERY last place you expected is so poetic and so real. This story is SO well written, honest and realistic and believable. It was so naturally written that it never once came off as cheesy or rushed or over-the-top. The pacing is great and the characters are my favorite that I’ve read in a while, and I know this story will stick with me for a while.

Thank you to NetGalley for the copy to review.

I would like to thank NetGalley, the publisher and the author for my advanced copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

In this young adult novel, we get to know Brooke and Heath. Two broken teenagers. One the sister of a murderer, the other the brother of his victim. They give each other solace and understanding and someone to rely on during a time their families suffer and certainly don't allow their paths to cross. Abigail Johnson deals with death, grief, and loss in a beautiful way in this book. It's raw and real. It's all-consuming but also slowly subsiding. Her writing takes you through the different stages of letting go and coming to terms with the past. It allows you, the reader, to move on together with her protagonists. The main plotline is secondary but gives the novel the structure it needs to bring its message across.

I believe this is an important read for kids and adults alike. If you're looking to understand what you or someone is going through at a time of hurt and sadness, you will find some condolence and maybe even answers in this story.

“I can’t find the words to explain myself or to tell her that just because I’m not slamming things or crying doesn’t mean I’m not hurting any less.”


The Plot

Brooke's brother Jason had committed a horrific crime. He killed his best friend Calvin in cold blood. But Brooke doesn't understand why or what even happened that night. All she knows is that her family has been left very broken. Her sister has stopped speaking and hides behind her ear buds. Her father is in his workshop constantly and rarely ever shows his face. Her Mom tries to put on a good front for them but Brooke knows when she has been crying and sometimes it gets so bad that she cannot even function.

One day Brooke sees Calvin's younger brother Heath walking in the rain down a side country road. She stops to give him a ride which he accepts to her surprise! This starts a whirlwind of sneaking around and forming a bond that no one had anticipated.

The Characters

Brooke's family had sacrificed so much after the murder. They basically became the pariahs of the town. They got talked about and made fun of for months. They had reporters camped on the front lawn, Brooke lost all of her friends and her boyfriend. She feels completely alone, so when Maggie moved to town, it was perfect because she knew nothing about her past and maybe she could start over and actually have a friend. The two bond immediately and Brooke tries so hard to keep her past hidden.

Heath's family is just trying to get by the best they can. They cannot stand the sight of Brooke's family and hold a lot of resentment. Heath works to help put money on the table to keep the family going. He is kind of a loner. He is the complete opposite of his brother. Calvin was a star athlete and top of his class. He received a full ride to college. Heath never applied for college and is not really sure what he wants to do with his life. Until Brooke arrives in it, she helps him feel alive.


"I'm not allowed to feel bad in front of you. I'm not allowed to feel bad in front of anyone, but especially not you, and I don't know how to stop."


In Conclusion

I adored this book! Oh the feels! I loved Maggie, Brooke's BFF. She was outgoing and straight forward with Brooke. I enjoyed Brooke & Heath, both together and separate. The story was told from dual POV, so the reader is able to get both sides of the story. Their grief kind of brought them together but they struggle to fully understand what the other is going through.

This book was a complete emotional roller coaster. It definitely brought on the water works. There were some highs and a lot of lows but I enjoyed it so much because it made me feel something!! Even if it was anger towards the towns people or hope for these two to be happy again or at least try to.

I cannot even truly put into words how awesome this read is, you will have to find out for yourself!


Trigger Warnings

murder, bullying

Even If I Fall by Abigail Johnson is a heart-wrenching story of grief and the strange ways in which our minds choose are best to recover.

The story follows Brooke as she faces a life of solitude with only one best friend that stands by her, and only because she doesn’t know the truth. Her family is grieving in a way another local family is, but for much different reasons. one is grieving the loss of a son and brother who was brutally murdered. The other is grieving the loss of a son and brother who is locked up for committing the brutal murder. The town has basically turned their backs on Brooke’s family and a year later she has learned to cope with a life where your presence makes everyone awkward.

I loved this story because it showed both sides of a tragedy. Most of the time in a story about a murder, we hear a lot about the accused murderer and a lot about the family the murder effected directly. You don’t really think too much about the family who has to deal with the fact that someone they know and loved committed this heinous crime. For some, they can’t quite understand how the family didn’t know the person was capable of that. For others, they feel like they did know and did nothing to stop it. Johnson wrote this dilemma beautifully. It showed the suffering that other family goes through trying to balance their love for an individual and their confusion over how they could become such a person.

On the other side of this story Johnson wrote the absolute devastation that murder caused the family who is now forever without their loved one. Heath was this upstanding gentleman that his mother taught him to be, but fighting his inner anger at the same time. There is a conversation Heath has with Brooke in this book where he explains that sometimes he finds it hard to even look at her without his anger boiling, but he does understand it’s misdirected. I feel like that is such a realistic struggle for people in this situation. Johnson nailed it on the head.

I loved the relationships we got to see in this story, whether it be between enemies, friends, and family. They were raw, uncomfortable, beautiful, and intricate. Johnson has a way of writing characters just enough to make you feel what they feel, but leave you enough to form your own image as well. It was perfectly balanced. I found it interesting how a new relationship that should be painful because of the circumstances ends up being exactly what a few of the characters need to start the real road to recovery.

While this may not be a book for everyone due to the nature of the story, but I think it’s one everyone could learn something from. It was an “easy read” in the sense that it flowed well and Johnson writing style is detailed and smooth. The characters keep you interested. There was even a little mystery tied into this novel. I think anyone could enjoy this book for different reasons. I’m a fan and will be checking out more from Abigail Johnson.

Even If I Fall is a must read, so place it on your bookshelf NOW; take no chance of missing this amazingly well done novel and rates 4.5 stars from me!!

The story centers around Brooke Covington whose older brother Jason killed his best friend Calvin and is in prison for murder for thirty years. Anyone who has lived in a small town knows that Jason is not the only one being punished for what he did. The Covington family, heartbroken by an act they can't understand, is being shunned by their community. As a result, they become very reclusive and their family is in shreds.

Sympathies lie with Calvin's family, yet there is little comfort for them in that. They have still lost a beloved son and brother. Their family is devastated as well.

Brooke knows that it would be best to avoid Calvin's family - what could she possibly say to them? Yet when she sees Calvin's younger brother Heath walking in the rain, she stops to offer him a ride. Both of these young people are trying to process what has happened, heal themselves and their families. Each of them has no one to talk to who could come close to understanding what it's like. Soon they begin meeting, and develop an uneasy friendship which turns into romantic feelings. Is it possible, given the tragic situation, for them to have a relationship? Should they even try, or would it cause more pain to their families?

Abigail Johnson beautifully, compassionately and completely explores the emotions of each family member in this excellent character driven novel. I found myself caring deeply for each of the characters.

Many thanks to Ms. Johnson, NetGalley and Harlequin Teen Inkyard press for allowing me to read an e-ARC of this great read in exchange for an unbiased review. All opinions expressed here are my own.

Even If I Fall is an outstanding Young Adult romance. It's an incredible story of two teens who become friends despite so many reasons why they shouldn't be friends.

Brooke's world imploded when her brother Jason was convicted of killing his best friend, who happened to be Heath's brother. As Brooke and Heath become friends, they hide their relationship, knowing no one would approve.

There are so many complications in their way - the townsfolk, their friends, and confusion over what happened that dreaded night. There's a family divide over what happened. And there's a whole lot of trying to separate Jason the murderer from the brother she knew her whole life, as Brooke can't turn her back on her brother.

Brooke and Heath's story is complicated, full of suspense and a whole lot of emotion.

Overall, it's a tender family story, a coming of age tale, and the tale of friendship.

Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC of Even If I Fall by Abigail Johnson. I really, really loved this book. It made me laugh and it made me cry. When I follow true crime, I never think about the effects of the crime on the murder's family. This book really put that into perspective for me and it was very eye opening and heart breaking at the same time. I've already requested the library I work for purchases this book, and I'm anxious to get it on our shelves so I can start recommending it to patron's!

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with this ARC.
Wow. This book was amazing. I was immediately intrigued by the premise but the book exceeded all my expectations. Brooke was a compelling character whose struggle between loving and blaming her brother for his actions was moving. As was her relationship with Heath, the younger brother of her brother's victim.
I thought the reactions and feelings of the characters were realistic which made this book so good, yet so utterly heartbreaking at times.
I can't wait for more people to read it.

Very emotional book, well written. I'd recommend this book, it was easy to get caught up in Brooke and Heath's story. The family and the pain they have all been going through was very real and vivid. 4 Stars!