Even If I Fall was a perfect example of why I read YA. Brooke and Calvin are on opposite sides of tragedy and yet still find a way to come together and heal. They both have so much to live for but are stuck in a cycle of anger and sorrow. Working together they come to a point that they are able to move on.

I would like to thank Netgalley and Inkyard Press for allowing me to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

OMGosh I could not put this book down. I was sad that I didn’t know anyone else who was reading this book so I could talk about it with them. I was so invested and I was pretty surprised at the ending and who actually committed the murder.

This is a story about two teens, Brooke and Heath, who both had their lives turned upside down with the confession, by Brooke’s brother Jason, that he had murdered his best friend, Heath’s brother Cal. Although how they are treated by the small community in which they live is different or the fact that how their families are handling this murder is different they both need someone to talk to. For some reason they find solace in each other. The two people you would least expect to turn to each other do in a dynamic way.

This was a beautifully written, well thought out novel. There were lots of twists and I loved the budding friendship between the two. There are a lot of mistakes made through out this book and it really made the story more relatable. A truly tug at the heart story.

What an amazing way to start my reading year than with a book that emotionally captured me and broke my heart while simultaneously filling it with hope. Even if I Fall did all that for me and more!

Brooke Covington's brother is in jail after confessing to his best friend Calvin's murder and as a result her once close knit, loving family is unravelling around her. Being the family of a murderer in a small town isn't easy. They become social pariah's forcing Brooke, her parents and her younger sister Laura to live as recluses in their home.

When Brooke sees Calvin's younger brother, Heath, stuck in the rain on the side of the road she is compelled to offer him help. Inexplicably, Heath accepts Brooke's offer and finds himself in a car with the sister of his brother's murderer. Soon they are meeting in secret. They are drawn to each other, finding solace and understanding in one another. Yet, they each know because of their family's shared past their relationship can't really go anywhere. Can it?

What follows is raw emotion and so much heartache. Each family is struggling to cope in the wake of unimaginable tragedy. Abigail Johnson did an outstanding job of sharing each character's grief. I was pulled in to the story and it had my heart in a vise grip.

I was fully invested in Brooke and Heath's story. I wanted them both to find a way to heal and be happy. This is a story not to be missed. It was a beautiful, emotional, heartbreaking and thought provoking story of broken people struggling to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives and find a way to live again.

I loved this modern day take on star crossed lovers, Brooke and Heath!

The book begins a year after Brooke's brother is sent to jail for a 30 year sentence for murdering his best friend. Brooke's family is baffled at how their bright and friendly son could do such a heinous act and at the beginning of the book, they are still broken and distant. They are no longer bonded together and the whole town looks down on and will have nothing to do with them. Brooke has been betrayed by her friends and is essentially ignored by her family, who are so absorbed in their own grief that they do not see what she is going through.

Brooke has the good fortune of meeting a girl who knows nothing of her family's story that moves to town and quickly befriends her. In an effort to maintain this friendship, she hides who her family is, what her brother has done and convinces her not to associate with many of the people in town.

Brooke also finds a kindred soul in Heath, who is also suffering the pain of his brother's death. His family is dealing with their own hardships too and while his relationship with Brooke is initially hesitant, they soon find that they are the only people they can be honest with and begin to care for one another much deeper than either anticipated.

To the tone of a modern-day Romeo and Juliet, Brooke and Heath must learn how to balance their feelings for each others families and their own grieving with the obvious attraction they feel for one another. The love story is undertoned, yet adds great depth to the story.

This story was excellent at dealing with real life issues. Brooke is struggling with accepting that her brother really did such a horrible thing. In her attempts to defend him, she tries to make sense of why he would do that: Was he provoked? Was somebody else there that actually did it? Her hesitancy in believing her brother could do such a thing makes her character all the more real. She does not accept it and won't until she absolutely knows what really happened there that night.

The story of their healing and learning to move on with reality really made the novel very relatable. I found Brooke to be a very engaging character. She isn't perfect and made some honest mistakes with her relationships to various individuals throughout, but she was trying and appropriately, misjudged some situations, sometimes based on past relationships with friends. The romance was very sweet, but again, not a main focus. It was also clean and very appropriate for YA. A great coming of age book as the characters had to make some very hard decisions and choices for their lives. While they may be very different from ones readers may make, it still explores the hardships that come upon many and the feeling of being alone because of them.

It was an emotional read but I really loved it and am excited to discover more by this wonderful author!!

The best book ever to start 2019! I've never read an Abigail Johnson book before but after this book I definitely will. It had me gripped form beginning to end, The writing of this story was beyond anything I could image. Every single character in this book had their own additional story to tell that just added to the tension of this FANTASTIC story. If you read one book this year it needs to be this!

I really enjoyed Even If I Fall. The main character, Brooke, is interesting and we follow her on her journey through pain, loyalty and anger as she comes to terms with her brother’s crime - murdering his best friend - and it’s affect on both of the families. Over the course of the novel, Brooke develops a friendship with Heath, whose brother was murdered, and the reader sees how they both struggle and grapple with their loss and their newfound feelings.

One thing I really liked about this novel, is that the romance takes a back seat, and Johnson doesn’t shy away from addressing the huge family issues. There is no ‘perfect’ family and we see a full range of emotions from Brooke, Heath and their respective families. It slowly builds until it all comes to head, and even as a resolution is reached, it doesn’t all happen at once. Instead, everything happens realistically and naturally which makes the story so believable. Additionally, it is definitely not a thriller but towards the end I found myself completely enthralled wanting to know what happens next, and what really happened (vague, I know, but it’s too good to spoil). All in all, I really enjoyed this novel.

"Even if I Fall" is a quiet book. Brooke navigates her daily life dealing with the scrutiny of her brother having confessed to the murder of his best friend. She has a passion for figure skating and puts up with a lot just to get any ice time at the local rink. Her friendship with Maggie is what actually holds her together. It's a beautifully written relationship and the glue of the book itself. Maggie has been with Brooke through thick and thin, and she never seems resentful of the effort she puts into the friendship vs what little she sometimes gets back. I wish the book had delved a little more into this friendship rather than the romance aspect. However, Brooke and Heath's unexpected attraction for each other gives them - and their community - plenty to chew on.
The writing style is gentle - which is a plus for the subject matter covered in the book. As I read the book, I almost didn't realize what was really happening to advance the plot until I was thinking over it later. Nothing is in your face. Nothing seems truly urgent. It was a good read for a winter's day.

Thank you to Netgalley and Harlequin Teen for the advance Kindle copy of this 1.8.19 release. All opinions are my own.
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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5. Brooke’s world was forever changed when her brother confessed to murdering his best friend. Now her family members are outcasts in their town, shells of who they used to be as they live in dysfunction. Only Brooke and her mother visit Jason in prison every Saturday, but when Brooke goes alone one week her brother slips and she finds out that someone else was there the night of the murder. As she tries to keep her family together, follow up on what may have happened that fateful night, and keep herself from falling in love with the victim’s brother, Brooke opens some old wounds that may not heal the same. Recommended for grades 7+.

This book was so good, it was intense and angsty, just the way I like them. There were so many emotions running the gamut through me when I was reading this. I felt really bad for both Brooke and Heath. Both put in a horrible place put there by circumstances they could not control. All in all this was a fantastic read.

An exciting and striking book.
When I got it, I figured the focus would be on Heath and Brooke, but the focus is precisely the feeling of the families and understand why the brother did what he did with his best friend.
My heart was in my hand and I could barely sleep after finish the book. The ending was breathtaking.
The ambiguity of the phrase on the cover is perfect. She is an ice skater who is afraid of height and interrupts her dreams to take care of her family after the tragedy. It ends up that Heath begins to help Brooke to overcome the fear of height so the approach shows that no matter how you fall but who will support you.
I cry with them every second....

“There’s this big live oak just off from the road, down by—”
“— I know the one,” I finish quietly. His gaze is locked with mine, and it almost feels like he’s daring me to let him keep talking and begging me not to at the same time .
“It’s nice there in the afternoons, when it’s not too hot.”
“Like the day after it rains,” he says. I nod, knowing I shouldn’t.

I loved Even If I Fall. It is a fantastic, contemporary YA read filled with romance and family.

There are a lot of YA books where the family relationships aren't the center focus but still a major point in the novel. However a lot of them aren't very fulfilling and feel like they were added just because it was what was expected. Abigail Johnson's books are one of the exceptions. In Even If I Fall family and romance equally take center focus, not once does one over take the other. I feel that she balances both perfectly. We have parents who are involved in their children's life because both the parents and children are open and honest to each other (as much is possible).

The book starts off a year after our main character, Brooke's, brother (Jason) has been imprisoned for supposedly murdering his best friend. Her whole family has been broken, devastated by how their intelligent and well brought up son/brother is in jail. Brooke is the only one trying to fix her family, just talk what happened and how its affecting all of them but they either act like nothing happened or that Jason is just off to college. So she ends up talking and opening up to the last person she expected, the victim's brother Heath.

Even though Even If I Fall is not a thriller I found myself near the end of the book reading as fast as I could to find out whether he did or didn't and well...And also if the romance would work out, which to be honest is something that I look forward to reading in her books. The romance is very slow, very quiet and realistic. Even though they have a painful history you can't help but root for them.

Even If I Fall is a great book to start off the new year. Unfortunately I have now read Abigail Johnson's 2019 book and will have to wait a year for the next one.

Thank you to Netgalley.

This was a really sweet book about family in a time of crisis. I honestly thought that this book would be more murder mystery and less romance and friendship, but I was wrong. For most of this book, nothing really happens. Brooke, the protagonist, is struggling with family issues in the wake of her brother's murder conviction, and has given up on her lifelong dream of becoming a professional ice skater. When her family won't talk to her about everything that's been going on with her brother, she ends up talking to Heath Gaines, the brother of the boy Brooke's brother murdered. While the premise is promising, the execution could have been better done. There were a lot of scenes of Brooke just doing everyday things, but I didn't connect to her or any of the other characters and didn't really care as a result. Brooke, her sister Laura, her father, her mother, and even Heath were cookie-cutter YA characters.

The romance between Heath and Brooke also seemed kind of forced. There was nothing that they really liked about each other, or any interests they shared--I don't even think they would have been friends if the murder hadn't happened. There was a lot of potential for conflict with the Gaineses and the Covington's (Brooke's family) not getting along, and not forgiving each other, but much of the conflict happened in snippets, towards the end, and was easily resolved. Even Brooke's big fight with her best friend, Maggie, ended easily. This book was simultaneously overdramatic and underwhelming, and I debated between giving this book 2.5 and 3 stars. I settled on three stars because it's Christmas and life's short.

Overall, a book with a lot of potential, but which ultimately fell flat.

Summary:

          One night- one action- can shatter everything.  No one knows that better than Brooke.  A boy is dead, and her brother is locked away having pled guilty.  Why?  What happened? Jason and Cal were best friends!  Part of her feels that there's something missing- she can't let it go.  What could have happened to come to that point?  The rest of her family is broken- her father hides in his workshop, her sister never talks and doesn't leave the house, her mother runs from the issue- literally..... and Brooke?  She has to be the one to keep everything together.  Not just going with Mom to visit Jason, but accepting the disdain of the town that used to accept her, the hatred shown her at work... the stares.  She used to live for ice skating, wanting nothing more to make a career of it, but that was before.  How can she leave now?  The worst part?  She can't even talk to anyone about these things- her family is too vulnerable and her only friend has no idea any of this ever even happened.  

           Then she runs into Cal's brother Heath- and he might get it.  He lost his brother, the town sees him and his family differently.  It's wrong, the two should hate each other- her brother killed his!  And yet... through their pain, a friendship blossoms- maybe something more if they are strong enough to grab hold.   But when Brooke learns something about that night- something important- will her loyalty to her family keep her quiet, or will she help the broken boy she has grown to care for?

My thoughts:

           I felt like this book was really well done.  Brooke's an interesting character, with her pain, loyalty and anger.  I loved watching her, even as I hated some of the things she did.  I hated some of the things she did to her best friend Maggie, though I could see her line of thought.  I felt for her and her family.  These characters are well developed and interesting, the subject of the book done with care and finesse.  So often books like this either feel too heavy. or so light as to be farcical.  This one, to me, was just right.  You need a bit of warmth, a bit of levity, but you can't detract from the story.  You need to feel for the characters- and I did.  For me, this is a four star book.  

           On the adult content scale, there's language and violence.  It's not over the top and actually very well done.  While I disagree with Amazon who has marked this for ages 12+, it's definitely geared toward teens.  Fifteen definitely, younger at parents discretion.  I give it a three.

         I was lucky enough to receive an eARC of this book from Netgalley and Harlequin Teen/ Inkyard Press in exchange for an honest review.  My thanks!

I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Brooke’s brother was the killer, but her family became prisoners. This book explores the grief of having someone you love do something unforgivable, and how a person can heal after that.
I loved this book. Brooke felt real, because of the walls she put up around herself, her feeling like everyone hated her, her love for ice skating, and most of all, her trying to keep her family together when they’re all trying to deal with their grief in different ways. I liked how complicated the love story was, and Johnson didn’t shy away from how difficult it was for Brooke and Heath to be together. Overall, a great read and I’ll definitely be checking out Johnson’s other books.

WOW! This book was absolutely incredible! This was my first read by the author, and certainly will not be the last. The writing was fantastic, descriptions were perfect, and the story moved at a beautiful pace. This is definitely one of the top 3 best books I’ve read this year.

I honestly had put this book off for awhile because of how heavy the content would be, but I’m kicking myself for not picking up this book sooner. It was heartbreaking and emotional.
While there was a love story, it was not the focal point of the book. I found the relationships with her family actually more interesting. Brooke also is trying to find the truth about what actually happened that horrible night; this part was so thrilling, my pulse racing the entire time trying to put it together, and when I finally did, I just kept saying “no, no, no.”

This story was more about the different ways people deal with their grief, how to forgive and move on with their life. Brooke, her sister and her parents all dealt with their reality in vastly different ways. I’ve never really given much thought to how a criminal’s family must feel after their loved one did something so horrible. But, this book really opened my eyes to that. I finished the last page in the middle of the night and literally sat there for minutes after just saying “wow” over and over. This is a book that I cannot get out of my head and something I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

* ARC provided by NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!

This book is bloody brilliant, and so unexpectedly beautiful.

At first I was worried I wouldn’t be able to relate or enjoy this book, told from 17 year old Brooke’s perspective but I was wrong, delightfully so.

I go into all of my books 100% blind, I know what the cover looks like and the title, and that’s literally it.

I never expected to fall in love with such young characters, to feel their hurt, fear and triumphs. I never expected the relationship that blossoms in this book to give me hope for my own love story down the road.

While the two main characters (Brooke and Heath) are fantastic, the supporting characters Maggie and Lauren take this story to another level. They ad depth and dimension, a little bit of intrigue and mystery as well.

I would love love love for Maggie to get her own story <cough cough, If you see this Abigail, I’m waiting!). I want more of her backstory, and to see where life takes her in her final year of high school.

Outside of wanting Maggie’s own book I’m praying to the YA gods that there is a sequel to Even If I Fall, because they way this book ends has me BEGGING the world for more. These characters wormed their way right into my heart, and I want to hold them there a little bit longer.

This was A Lot of Emotions in one book. I mean, that's entirely predictable when you read the summary, but I wasn't expecting the level of softness that came with all the rest. The central families caught in the aftermath of the murder are so broken and reading about how Brooke and Heath go from that to finding their own new understanding is so beautiful. One thing that initially attracted me to this book was the inclusion of ice skating and those parts were full of so much joy and sense of life - as they were for the character.

Overall a satisfying and emotional read.

Even If I Fall is about two families dealing with grief and loss of their sons; one dead and the other a murderer. Brooke and Heath have this forbidden relationship going on because of their brothers and they both learn and grow throughout this story. It was so good and heart-wrenching and I definitely teared up a few times. The emotion of everything is written so well. It could have ended horribly, but I really liked how it ended and it didn't go the other direction. I really liked Brooke and Heath's relationship and how it slowly blossomed. I didn't realize before, but we don't usually see how the murderer's family is affected and I thought it all made a really great plot.
Also it's not a fluffy love story, but it pulls you in and keeps up a fast pace like it is one.

Even if I Fall is an amazing story of heartbreak, family ties, and overwhelming love that can persevere through the darkest days. This book will have you on a rollercoaster of feelings. I loved how real and raw the story was written; I couldn't put it down once I started! Thanks for the ARC

While I really wanted to like the book, I just couldn't get past the writing. The book just feels underdeveloped, and, on a sentence level, the author doesn't seem like she's really worked out how to find a flow with her word choice and sentence structured. It just felt forced.