⭐️⭐️⭐️ 3 ok stars

This was a tad disappointing for me having enjoyed the author’s other books more.

I found Grav to be really annoying, and a bit cliche and the writing was a bit too simplistic.

It plods along ok but not a strong book sorry.

Before I Met Him by John Nicholl has all of the makings of a great movie. This would be a great book to film mystery. Rebecca was only 6 when horrible acts were performed on her and the man responsible was set free. Deceive Gravel went to see her parents to inform them that there would be no prosecution, no jail time for that creep. Not because he did not try though. Fast forward 20 yrs finds Rebecca hunting down pedophiles online. Everything about this story is great. From the beginning to the end. I was angry, then angrier but then the author provided me with jubilation. I think that what you get out of this story is how you perceive it but overall the author did a great job at making the characters fit together and the timeline work out perfectly. I did not find any flaws but I was so into this book that I read it in one sitting. A very easy read that is gripping and has some twists and turns that you would not expect.


Thank you so much to netgalley as well as the author/publisher for allowing me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest review.

5++++ stars ⭐️ out of 5

I think that Nicols has the edge you need to keep you enthralled, disturbed, and captive until the last page. This book was sad, but also tense, thrilling, scary; and chilling. You had to know what was going to happen and to who and why. Highly recommend and will be recommending and using in challenges in Chapter Chatter Pub!

This is the second book I have read of John Nicholl in the last few days and I am hooked on the author. "Before I Met Him" was another great read, it was dark, gritty and a very hard subject to tackle - of Paedophilic, Vengeance, and Justice.
This book isn't for the faint hearted as there are scenes in the remarkable book that will make you cringe and can be very disturbing but will make you want to read the book more to see what happens.
I was hooked from the very first page and I just want to read more from this author!!!

Rebecca was Sexually abused as a small child by a local paedophile, that left her emotionally and mentally scared. Her assailant walked away "Free" and avoids prosecution, this tore her family apart. They tried to live a normal family life but the family was damaged. This is when Rebecca and her parents meets DI Gravel.

Seventeen years later, Rebecca now twenty three, has made it her mission to punish sexual predators. She does this by posing as children online, chatting to them, setting a trap, then luring them to her house, where she tortures them and slowly killed them.

*COME INTO MY PARLOR SAID THE SPIDER TO THE FLY*
"‘I’m in here. Come on. I’m in here. Come and play with me. I’ve been waiting for you…’

DI Gravel has been advised to take some time off work, as he is suffering from PTSD. Travels to Jamaica to visit his son. Whilst DI Gravel was on his vacation, a man's severed head, two arms are found washed up on a windswept estuary beach, by a dog walker. DI Gravel had to return home and lead the investigation.
I love the character of DI Gravel, he is fit in these book very well. He smokes a lot, heavy drinker and his language can be foul at times.
But, he is someone that gets results and one of the best detectives on the force.

I loved this book and can't wait for more from this incredibly talented author John Nicholl.

Before I Met Him by John Nicholl is the 2nd in the Detective Gareth Gravel series. Note that this book was previously titled A Mind to Kill.

First, let me thank NetGalley, the publisher Bloodhound Books, and of course the author, for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Series Background (Warning – May contain spoilers from previous books):
DI Gareth Gravel (Grav) has been with the West Wales Police force for over 20 years. Grav has recently lost his wife Heather to cancer, and his some of his bad habits are resurfacing. He has a rather gruff manner, smokes cigars, loves his sugar, and has really good investigative skills. He figures he could probably be a DCI, but he doesn’t always play well with others, and politics are not his forte. He has just lost his long-term partner, DS Clive Rankin.

My Synopsis:
Rebecca Smith didn’t get justice as a child. She was abused by her ballet teacher, and her abuser went free. Partly to blame is the justice system, and young Detective Gareth Gravel. She is 23 now, and taking things into her own hands. Since she can’t find her abuser, she takes revenge on others who would abuse a child. She’s gotten quite good at this.

DS Laura Kesey is called upon to step up and investigate when body parts found in the water. A severed head, and two arms are found, but they are from two different people, and identifying the owner of that second arm is going to prove difficult. Kesey wants to prove she can handle this, but in truth, hopes for help.

Grav is on a 3 week holiday to visit his son in Barbados. It is not going that well. His anger and drinking habits quickly take their toll on an already fragile relationship. But the department forced him to take a break, and he’s trying to make the most of it. When he is called back to Wales to take over the lead of a double murder, he is happy to respond.

When Grav and Rebecca meet again, he will have a difficult decision to make.

My Opinions:
This was a rather tough read. The subject matter was difficult. Child abuse always is. But when someone is hunting the abusers down, and those victims deserve what they get, sometimes it’s hard to find fault with the perpetrator. But Nicholls handled the topic brilliantly. He’s not afraid to make you uncomfortable.

I may not be fond of Grav’s attitude toward women, nor his abuse of alcohol, but I do love his heart!

Overall, I am really enjoying this series. This book was dark, it was disturbing, and it was really good.

Can’t wait for more!

I am a massive fan of this author’s books and even though I was late discovering him as an author I am very glad that I was introduced to him through his new publisher, Bloodhound Books!

He writes the kind of books that make me cringe at times and give me a shudder – and he is definitely a go to author if I want to read a chilling and disturbing book – and sometimes that is exactly what I fancy reading!! He writes excellent thrillers and this one was no exception – I absolutely LOVED it!!

I am really enjoying reading about DI Gravel and his team and I loved how it went back to his early career at the start of the book to get a bit of his back story.

The writing style was brilliant, the plot was great and the pace was spot on. No hesitation it is 5 stars from me, another fantastic book from this author – cannot wait to see what he releases next!!

This psychological thriller was engrossing. The author did a great job of showing the pain of Rebecca as she deals with the abuse she suffered as a child and the dark journey she is on. It was a bit gruesome for me at times, but overall, it was a great read!

I need to have a shower and scrub my skin clean after reading this book, it is so dark, gritty, raw and rather unnerving especially when the chapters are from Rebecca’s POV!

Rebecca, when she was six was abused and the abuser got off, none of the family ever recovered from this, especially not Rebecca. She seeks justice against other sexual deviants. It was hard to read her chapters, as she plotted against these men and acting as judge jury and executioner. In a way, she reminded me of Dexter, with her preparation skills and her acting abilities!!

DS Gravel, aka Grav, the officer on Rebecca’s case fifteen years ago, has been told to go away due to his suffering of potential PTSD with everything he’s been through from the first book. (A quick pause, I didn’t get the chance to read the first book before I read this, you can get away with this. However, I am going back to read it because I want to end of.) He is a likeable character, not your normal hot slim fit type of man, but a man who has been on the job a long time with a  drinking problem and insane stress levels. He has his demons and who wouldn’t, but he is one of the best detectives. Receiving a call from his superiors to cut his holiday short,  he is back on the case when body parts start turning up with a new partner in tow.

This story is dark and definitely not one for the faint hearted at all, and it is hard to 'gush' about the book due to the subject matter but it is a page-turner nonetheless and I loved it! (I am not some weirdo or anything that loved the content but the writing and the story...ok I will shut up now!) I haven’t read any of John Nicholl books before, and the covers are so dark but I was drawn to them and now I see why! I will be going back to read Portrait of death and revisiting the characters, and to be honest I cannot bloody wait. I have it on great authority that I may have found a new favourite author.....

John Nicholl is an author that keeps just getting better and better.  White is the Coldest Colour still remains one of the most chilling books I have ever read, and the third book in the DI Gravel series gave me similar emotions.

The dark and disturbing plot of child abuse, vengeance, and justice in Before I Met Him had me hooked almost instantly.  The story line here is just as sinister and disturbing as in his other books, a gripping combination of psychological thriller and police procedural.

"I'm in here. Come on. I'm in here. Come and play with me. I've been waiting for you"... "Walk into my parlor said the spider to a fly. Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy."

Rebecca's story is both gripping and harrowing.  The author John Nicholl has worked in the past as a police officer and as a Child Protective Social Service officer, so although this is a work of fiction, he draws on his own professional experiences, and it really shows.  The writing of this story was riveting, so compelling that I could not put it down.  I couldn't sleep till I knew how it ended, reading with my eye stinging with tiredness (and then I struggled to sleep).

The characters are well-developed, and damaged enough to make them believable and totally relatable.  I loved the description of Grav in his shorts, socks and sandals, an unusual light moment that made me smile and the image stayed with me throughout.  I also felt that Rebecca more than fulfilled the role of victim-turned-killer and I loved the ending, whizzing through the final few pages read it with my mouth hanging open.

Definitely not for the faint hearted, Before I Met Him is a dark psychological study of the effects of traumatic experiences on the human mind.  It is disturbing in places, especially in the scenes in Rebecca’s “killing room” but if readers can manage to get through those scenes, they will find a complex and rewarding book.

It reminded me of one of my favourite films, Hostel 2 and it warmed the cockles of my raging feminist heart.

This story was previously published as Mind to Kill. Now I have read every book so far by John and he has not let me down yet. And yet again… he has written another belter of a book! I would go as far to say this one is his best one yet!

Now this story focuses on an issue you and I have probably seen a lot of on social media recently especially Facebook! Sexual predators and peadophiles. Now this may not be a subject some readers want to read or enjoy. However, it is a cleverly written story.

It highlights how angry and determimed Rebecca was due to the unexpected outcome of her child abuser. She wants to take back some control! Parts of this story are dark and gritty but it is a brilliant read! A fast paced, page turner and thrilling.

I’ve awarded a well deserved five stars and would highly recommend it to you all. John is an author whose work I am loving, each and everyone I have enjoyed and loved.. I already look forward to the next book!

They were all predators. Godless creatures who preyed on the innocent without thought or mercy. They destroyed one life after another, and would have continued doing exactly that if allowed the opportunity. Someone had to kill them. Why not me?"

Rebecca Smith, now 23, was 6 years old when she was sexually abused by her ballet teacher. Now she's a vigilante -- luring and killing nonces. Since she's a computer expert with the local police, she knows just how to find them. Her anger at the lack of a conviction in her own case fuels her desperate quest to rid the world, well at least West Wales, with as many of those evil men as she can.

DI Gareth Gravel, unnerved by the recent suicide of his long-time partner, is on leave vacationing in Barbados when summoned back by newbie, DS Laura Kesey to investigate when the body parts of two different men are found in the mud by a local river. Part police procedural and part suspense thriller, the narrative shifts in point and view as the narrative unfolds. Though the reader knows at the outset the identity and motivations of Rebecca, the revelations as the case is worked are compelling and thought-provoking. As much as we understand the WHY of what Rebecca is doing, and the heinous nature of child pederasty, we know that she is still on the wrong side of the law. It's hard not to root for her as we cry out for her to have some vengeance against those child predators.

I loved the pacing of the story and the grisly details as much as I did the underlying and frightening theme -- there are way too many of these men loose in society, unpunished and free to continue destroying the innocence of children and the lives of all connected to them.

Thank you to the author for supplying a copy of this ARC for me to read and review. The characters were well-developed and unique and I could see a series built around them. I highly recommend it and I'd definitely read other books written by John Nicholl.

Before I Met Him by John Nicholl
DI Gravel #3

Coming into this series on book three was no problem at all. I immediately realized that Gareth Gravel was a policeman who cared about his job and the people he encountered early on the job and continued to care almost two decades later. In this book he is a widow still missing his wife while dealing with PTSD. The PTSD is, I surmise, from his job and recent events that no doubt took place in previous books. He is called back early from vacation to head up a task force dealing with multiple murders and what gruesome murders they were!

The murderess is someone who is dealing with past childhood abuse in a way that helps her, in a twisted way, but her method also pedophiles meet the end she wishes the man who molested her had met years ago. I could not figure out if she was crazy or wicked smart or some combination of both but she was definitely not “normal” – at least to my way of thinking.

So, DI Gravel and DS Kesey, new to the police force, tackle the search for the murderer. The police procedural part is followed rigorously, people are questioned, clues are provided, murders are described and justice, of sorts, is perhaps provided.

I enjoyed this rather twisted tale of revenge and vengeance and vigilante justice. I enjoyed getting to know Grav and Kesey and I would like to find out more about this series because the team intrigued me. As an American I wondered if there are people that use the word “Love” as often as Grave did when talking to others BUT figure they must…or at least this character did! One thing I liked was the spider reference and the “tip, tap” use within the story…

Thank you to NetGalley and Bloodhound Books for the ARC – This is my honest review.

4 Stars

Fantastic book very twisted and dark. Takes you on a gripping ride through the story . Brilliant characters

Before I Met You is the second book I have read by John Nicholl and it has some crazy, dark scenes.  On the surface, this book is about a young woman who was assaulted when she was just a little girl who grows up and decides to take justice and revenge into her own hands.  She starts pretending to be nine and ten years old again, luring these creeps into her web the same way a spider does a fly.  The things she does once they arrive expecting a little girl with their promises of ponies, secret fun, and everything else under the sun will shock you to your core.



There were times I had to look away from what was happening in the book because of how detailed and shocking it was.  But then, of course, I had to look back and carry on so that I could finish.  So looking away really did nothing for me except give me a second to breathe and regain composure.  On one tiny, small hand (like the one from Scary Move 2, perhaps), I did feel a teeny tiny bit of sympathy for the men who went from predator to prey.  But only because they were, in fact, so helpless, pathetic, and lost.  I was mostly cheering her on but then I started feeling kind of dark, too.  I think this book may be the reason I woke up two nights in a row around 2AM all hot and paranoid.  This book did something to me after reading certain scenes. 

In the end, though, the aforementioned torture scenes were most of what this book had to offer.  The police an detective scenes were pretty average and I felt myself rushing through them to get back to HER point of view so I could see who was next in line to be judged and executed.  There was nothing wrong with Nicholl’s writing, I just was not as entertained with all the investigating work and what not as I was in the previous book of his I read, Portraits of the Dead.  The ending of this book is also quite sudden and I found myself thinking, “Well, that’s that.”

This book gets a 3 out of 5 for me and Nicholl continues to be an author I want to read more of – and lucky for me there are some more books of his out there calling me name!  Thanks to NetGalley and Bloodhound Publishing for this advanced copy in exchange for an honest review!

This is the first book I have read by this author although I have subsequently found another three on my kindle which I will definitely get stuck into. I love his style of writing which is very easy to follow and although the background to the story is about child abuse there is not so much graphic detail to make it upsetting to read. The story moves swiftly along with never a dull moment which makes it quite hard to put down.

Good grisly writing here with Rebecca as the avenging victim of past crimes unrequited and Grav as the plodding hero who has issues bit is still the best. I found some Joe Nesbo hooks interwoven but a great read for me even when you have the who/what answers early on. Read this one for sure.

i have only recently discovered this author but have to say he’s become one of my favourites. each book gets better and better.

rebecca was sexually abused as a young child. after a police investigation, the CPS decide there is insufficient evidence to take the case to trial to obtain a guilty verdict. the matter is dropped. years later still affected by the horrors she suffered and anger at the lack of justice, rebecca starts a one woman crusade to eliminate the world of paedophiles. It is up to DI Gravel and his team to solve the case.

this book is definitely worth a read. many thanks to netgalley and the publishers for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

This is quite a dark crime thriller with revenge very much at it’s heart.
We learn that Rebecca was abused as a child and DI Gravel was the person who caught him, but the CPS said there was not enough evidence to convict him, so he was let go.
This trauma stayed with Rebecca so much so that she is pretending to be a child on chat rooms, and then asking the men to meet her. She then sets a trap and kills them.
DI Gravel is still recovering from the death of his colleague and is told to take a holiday. He goes to visit his son but is soon called back when the bodies are found.
Rebecca also works for the Police so thinks she’s safe but her crimes soon catch up with her.
I wasn’t prepared for the ending and it certainly had me on the edge of my seat.
Thanks to Bloodhound Books and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book.

Another great story featuring DI Gareth Gravel, now with a new DS, Laura Kesey, following the death of his former DS Clive Rankin. Grav is diagnosed with PTSD following an assault on a fellow DI and is forced to take a holiday. Off to Barbados he goes to re-start his patchy relationship with his son Dewi. But Grav is Grav and all is not going smoothly before he is recalled back to West Wales to work on an investigation into severed body parts which have turned up on the beach. More intriguing still is the fact that PAEDO has been carved into a head. We know all the way through who the killer is and their motives for the killings, but again the race is on to catch the perpetrator and prevent any more deaths, however well deserved they might be. This is a very gritty and gruesome book, and not for those who have a problem with child sexual abuse and scenes of torture, but it will draw you in and keep you turning the pages. This is what John Nicholl does best!

Having just read and reviewed a book where the story heavily depended on the victim wanting revenge on the perpetrator but the criminal escaping justice due to a legal technicality and the shortfall of the criminal justice system leading to vigilantism, I was not expecting to come across another title that is based on those same issues so quickly! That said, I have a soft spot for John Nicholl books so this blew the other title completely out of the water.

This is exactly the sort of book i've come to expect from Mr Nicholl - it is certainly not for the faint-hearted. He has a vivid imagination and as an ex police and child protection officer some of these ideas may have come from his previous employment and transferred into his fiction. "Before I Met Him" is the third book in the DI Gravel series and what a dark and gritty read it is. Nicholl seems to like to verge on the sick and twisted side in terms of his crime fiction which has me hanging on his every word.

What makes this book different is that you actually side with the killer when usually most of us would side with the detective with a view to justice being done. There are deeper topics explored here than in your bog-standard thriller and I appreciated that. I also marvelled at just how engaged and enthralled I was for the whole gruesome ride!

Many thanks to Bloodhound Books for an ARC. I was not required to post a review and all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.