Normally, I'd be obsessed about a memoir like this one - a single woman fighting to survive and thrive beyond trauma from her childhood. However, this book just did not click with me. Even though my life has some similarities to Moore's, I felt I couldn't connect to her narrative at all. She claims in the beginning of the book to have absolutely no one in her life (especially not a single person who she could use as an emergency contact). But throughout the book, she mentions many different people who she's connected with. She's definitely less alone than she thinks she is. Instead of Moore explaining how her loneliness has affected her life (or any details about what she's gone through as a child), she uses this book to document her many failed relationships. The only part I truly liked was the very last chapter where Moore tries to encourage other lonely people that there's hope for a better life out there. If the book had contained more of this sentiment (or at least more honest disclosures), I might have found it to be a more worthwhile read.

Lane Moore’s collection of personal essays, How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don’t, is sure to make you feel all the feels.

Many of us know Lane Moore for her comedy show, Tinder Live, while others may connect her name to her band, It Was Romance. What is certain is that if you weren’t already a die-hard fan of her vast scope of work, you will be once you’ve read her latest brilliance – a published collection of personal essays titled How to Be Alone: If You Want to, and Even If You Don’t.

While there is nothing impersonal about song-writing or sharing your Tinder account with a room full of strangers, How to Be Alone shows a much more vulnerable side of Moore by laying bare aspects of her personal relationships and past traumas. “I wanted to write a book for people who are not often written for, which is people who don’t have the ‘right’ family you’re supposed to have,” said Moore. “I never ever felt like people’s stories were fully for me, even in many books I adore. You always see the dedication and it’s presumably to someone who has been this lifelong support system for the author and my heart would just be reminded I didn’t have that. That’s why my book dedication is to all of my touchstone books and movies and tv shows and music, it’s a little nod to how alone many book dedications have unintentionally made me feel.”

In her essays, Moore shares pieces of her life that range from traumatic childhood experiences to her current struggles as an adult attempting to learn how (and when) to trust others enough to let them get close. Moore writes of her romantic relationships (both good and bad) with such genuine insight and humor that it appears writing this book may have been a bit therapeutic for her as well. “In writing this book, I learned so much about the problems that arose from my being such a hardcore hopeless romantic (which I do think is a beautiful quality I really adore) and hoping, subconsciously, to be saved by someone’s love,” said Moore. “And that just never ever worked for me. I’ve heard it’s worked for other people and that’s great, but I’m seeing now that I’m the hero of my story. I just am. And this book is really about finding so much comfort in that.”

It is her thoughtfulness and compassion that will make How to Be Alone resonate with readers long after finishing the last page. Reading Moore’s book not only allows a closer look into her personal life, but truly makes anyone who can relate to any of her experiences feel a little more connected. If you have a toxic relationship with your parents and the holidays trigger anxiety and depression or you’re a queer woman who doesn’t easily fit into the categories of “gay” or “straight” that online dating sites expect, Moore’s book is the empathetic friend you’ve been searching for your whole life.

My review was published in Curve magazine (now defunct).

I dont mean to be dismissive of the pain and suffering that comes from membership in a dysfunctional family. What I do mean. is that Lane Moore's ability to see the humor in situations made the material covered in How To Be Alone palatable. It was depressing at times, and a difficult subject, but Ms Moore writes conversationally and intersperses the tense moments with lighter observations. I read the book in fits and spurts, not straight through, which made the read easier in my opinion.
I received my copy through NetGalley under no obligation.

A well written memoir offering insight and humor to her experiences in life. She struggled to make connections in her life with other which many people take for granted. Great read overall.

Thanks to #Netgalley for a copy for my honest review

HOW TO BE ALONE, by Lane Moore, is a memoir of Moore's journey of self-discovery and her struggle to find compatible relationships, romantic or otherwise, that work with her unique and quirky approach to life. Really she is constantly revaluating what she wants and is working to get closer and closer to the answer of who and how does she want people in her life.
Moore strives to find balance in her life. She recounts times where she yearned to be with someone, and times when she wanted to separate herself from people. Over the course of the book, Moore runs the gamut from total aloneness to constantly searching for her next relationship. Moore's attempt to hone down what it is she really wants mirrors what most of us are trying to do; find ourselves. Moore has a hand in a lot of things: a comedian, a musician, and writer, amongst others. She touches on some of her writings and that she hosts "Tinder Live", and I wanted to hear more stories from those things and thought the amount of times she brings them up, the book would contain a little more. Moore spends a good amount of time discussing several relationships and where they went right or wrong, but I wanted a little more writing/comedian stuff and maybe a bit less relationship struggle. But then again, the book is titled HOW TO BE ALONE, so I get why relationship discussions were the focus.
Moore is funny and I certainly want to read other things she has written or has yet to write. HOW TO BE ALONE kept a smile on my face through most of the book and there are certainly parts of the book that should touch everyone.

I really enjoyed this memoir that was like a collection of essays. It isn't your typical self-help book, and I was glad for that. It is one that many can relate to and maybe help you feel not so alone. I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels alone.

I would like to thank Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book free of charge. This is my honest and unbiased opinion of it.

Most who have read this, would probably say something about how the title is misleading because they expected a book with advice on how to deal with being alone or some kind of self-help thing or something like that. But truly if you read this and actually engage with it, then you will see that this book does help. It helped me reflect on myself and how I deal with my solitary nature. I related to a lot of what Lane has dealt with in her life and it was insightful to see how even though her and I are such different people in almost every way on the outside, we still felt very similar towards certain things on the inside. If that makes sense...and it was comforting.
I’m not the biggest fan of humor book or books like this but this one was really good.

I felt this title was misleading. I assumed it would be a series of essays that looked at loneliness, solitude, and contentment with being alone; however, this is basically a memoir of the author's attempt at finding love. I've read a few memoir/autobiographies told in essay form and they worked quite well, but this one fell short to me. It may have been because I was expecting something else, but the author's voice also grated on me after a while.

The author's thoughts, actions and life are not interesting enough to warrant a book.

Insipid, at best.

Truth be told, this book broke my heart. It was so difficult to read that I had to give up about fifty pages in and do some selfcare. I really hope this writer finds happiness.

What attracted me to the book was the fact that I am alone (romantically) but not lonely. I enjoy it, frankly. And I was hoping to be able to read something that may be able to understand my version of me so that I can get people to understand my version of me.

What I got was gutted. Lane’s rawness and willingness to show vulnerability was amazing. When she talked about the friendships she was seeking, I wanted to give her a hug and be her friend.

When she wrote about her relationship with Everett, that was me. When she wrote about her relationship with Max, that too was me.

I had a decent childhood. I have a very good relationship with my parents as an adult. But I keep falling into these toxic romantics relationships to the point where I’ve realized I really would rather be alone.

Lane nails it deciphering the relationships between people (romantic or otherwise). And makes you feel like you aren’t alone in the WTF way of human interactions.

By the end of this book, it was Lane giving me the hug. She reminded me it’s better to be alone, than be around the wrong people.

Must read for anyone who has ever felt alone, on purpose or not.

An authentic and raw memoir told with humor and honesty....

For anybody that has ever felt lonelier in a room full of people than they would if they were Buy themselves.... this is not a self-help book it is a memoir... Lane Moore has laid herself bare in these poignant essays about human connection... from a troubled child, to a tragic teenager, to a triumphant adult... Lane Moore has struggled throughout with making connections that some of us take for granted....

I thoroughly enjoyed Lane’s insights of not only herself but of others as well.... some of these essays were hard to read, but they were all totaled with integrity and a generous dose of humor.... really appreciated that humor was found in even the darkest of situations... some of these essays really resonated with me and I found myself sharing some of the insights with my friend on our weekly walk and my oldest son who is away at college....

This definitely is not my usual type of read, but I thoroughly enjoyed it! It was well written, relatable, and tremendously insightful.... I love humor in my books and this book had a huge dose of that! I absolutely recommend this book I think it will resonate with most people, because most of us have had times in our lives where it was harder to connect then others....

*** many thanks to Atria for my copy ***

My Highly Caffeinated Thought: An honest and humorous look into one woman’s life and relationships.

HOW TO BE ALONE is a truly candid, lay-it-all-out-there memoir exploring the ups and downs Moore had with the people who came into her life. The author looks back and exposes her innermost thoughts, fears, and hopes in a witty and at times self-deprecating way.

In what seems like a trend within memoirs recently, this book exposes the life of its author. Moore opens up about her experiences for us to understand her and possibly ourselves better. The one thing which stood out the most to me was her voice. I loved the writing and flow as she sprinkled in zingers with her reflections on a quite unique life. There is a genuine sense of reality within the pages of this book because nothing is sugar-coated. However, with all the moments I was shocked or felt bad for her situation, I wasn't put off by the memories told. In fact, I was kept reading with interest.

For those who may think this is a self-help book or a guide to better relationships, please note this is not. This is a smart, funny, and raw memoir chronicling a woman's journey through life so far.

Thank you to Netgalley for giving me an ARC. This book was very informative, I would recommend it to my family and friends.

So here's the thing. On paper, I think I am supposed to fall all over myself about this book. It's a series of essays from a 'comedian' who lives in New York and write for publications I know and does comedy shows in places I frequent. But...in reality, I could not connect with this book.

Lane Moore is a talented writer, that's a fact. However I couldn't connect with these essays. With a title of "How to Be Alone" I assumed this would focus on empowering oneself to be an independent person, living their best life, despite whatever obstacles may pop up. Instead this focuses on Moore's anger about her family and past, as well as her striving for romantic relationships. It felt empty to me.

The need to fill the hole left by the lack of a support system is very apparent in these essays. I get it, I totally understand, but this writing feels like pre-therapy journal entries of a self-depreciating writer. Find your family. Accept the love and support that your friends offer. (Also, not to be a total bitch, but moving to New York City on your own doesn't make you special, millions of people do it.)

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book.

This memoir by comedian, writer, and musician Lane Moore was not what I expected. I know her work and follow her on social media, and am a fan of her writing. Unfortunately, I was a bit disappointed with this book. For all of Moore's repeated observations that she's been through family trauma, she is all alone, etc., I felt like there were big pieces of her story that she left out. Not that she owes readers a thorough explanation of her trauma — I understand not wanting to write about it in great detail — but she referred to it covertly (and casually) so many times that I wanted to understand, and couldn't, because I felt like I didn't really know what had actually happened. So I really didn't know how to take her repeated statements about not having a family and basically being an orphan, but they did become a bit grating after a while.

This book isn't really "how to be alone" in the sense I was expecting, like a manifesto for people who are alone or an examination of what's good and bad about being alone. It was more of a memoir about how Moore feels perpetually lonely even when she's with people and in relationships. Her writing style is confessional in nature but not confessional in fact, and it just felt like there was something missing here.

I am conflicted about this book. There were parts that made me want to jump up and shout, "YES!" and other parts that were rather cringe-worthy. After finishing it, I think the discrepancy is due simply to Moore being a new author; figuring out one's voice and timbre takes time that she just hasn't had yet. It's a very promising debut and I look forward to reading what she does next.

Lane Moore is the cutest human, creating relatable comedic material that is so raw, you’ll want to cry and cuddle with her— partly because she point-blank states that she craves comfortable, platonic cuddling, and partly because you’ve realized, while reading, how much you crave it, too. And by the way, yes, I can say a woman is ‘cute’ and still be a feminist. I’m not saying it in a condescending way. I genuinely find Moore’s outlook on life and her sensitivity to be adorable, though by no stretch do I mean to suggest that this precludes her from also being a badass. After all, how many authors have the brass to give their book the same name as a Franzen work, in the same nonfiction space? I can just imagine a (probably male) editor saying “so, Lane, we like all of it– at least all of it we understand and digest– but you do know the title is taken? By none other than Jonathan Franzen…” and her being like “yeah. I know. I like it, though.” end of story.

I have a hunch this book won’t appeal to everyone, and that quite a lot of people will find it “too millennial”; too soft, too much complaining, too much. But that’s also what makes it so special, that it won’t have universal appeal, that an agent and an editor and a publisher (and all the other members of the village it takes to raise a book up from a conceptual stage, through publication), all found the story worthwhile. They saw past profit margins, to the heart, and decided it was more important to publish good writing that would likely only resonate with a niche market. A book that could make an actual difference in. Areader’s life. A book called How to be Alone, that, for a few hours, makes you feel you’re not alone. Someone, a real, living human, also experiences similar emotions, and she’s afraid to express them, yet she pushes past her comfort zone to deliver us this gift.

If you're a fan of funny female memoirs, or if Carrie Fisher, Jenny Lawson, or Sloane Crosley are on the top of your list, pick up this gem immediately.

Rating: 4.5/5 stars, rounded up on Goodreads because 99% of the people on here are assholes or idiots (or a combination of the two) and I want to make sure I’m bringing the average up.

This was a difficult book to read. I am probably a bit older than the average person who knows Lane Moore from her Tinder Live with Lane Moore comedy show, and really didn't know what to expect.

The book is filled with raw and open essays about the author's struggles to survive in a world that provided very little external support. Her stories have a flare of the grotesque, but within this context I mean outsized and difficult to believe. Yet, I do not think that she is making anything up, but is instead sharing experiences that she was never taught to avoid.

I have to say that, based on the description, I was expecting that this book would be funnier than it was. I don't consider that a negative, but it wasn't necessarily what I would expect from an author who has been named one of the 75 funniest people on Twitter (see her Goodreads profile). If you are reading this review, please be aware that you won't finish this book with tears in your eyes from laughter.

All in all, I found this a very moving book--full of essays that elucidate many of the same struggles that I find myself facing everyday with trying to find personal connections within a world that seems to be all about surface understandings.

I received an advanced reading copy from the publisher via NetGalley. Thanks!

I am pleased that I was given the chance to read this book but I was left with confusion on what exactly I read. I felt that the message and title of the book was very misleading. I thought it was going to be about people that are alone and how to overcome the challenges that are associated with being alone. But, the story was focused primarily about Lane Moore's life and "not being alone."

I think that being "alone" can mean different things to different people and clearly I feel that the message behind Moore's book was she had romantic relationships, friends, etc and felt completely alone in the world. I feel like because I was so focused on it being the latter of what I felt the book should be about.. I just was pretty disappointed.

I think the novel would have been a lot stronger if Lane Moore offered advice at the end of each chapter behind her stories of her life.

Overall, 2 stars on this for me.

Huge thank you to Atria and Netgalley for a copy of this arc in exchange for my honest review.

Publication date: 11/6/18
Published to GR: 10/15/18