An essential addition to the adoptee memoir works. Highlighting and elevating the experiences of indigenous adoptees who were taken from their families is extremely important, and I will recommend this work to all those in the adoption triad.

I gave it 5 stars not because of groundbreaking writing style or storyteller skills. It’s simply a book which need to be read.
We know Canada as all-friendly-neighbourhood- superhero in the world of politics. The truth is it has got it’s own post-colonialism issues, and we need more books about that, more voices in public area just to discus them and find a solution.
Author of the book went through hell and I can’t imagine how paintful it was to go back to those memories to share them with a reader. And just because of that - her book needs to be read.
Therefore I won’t write about the technicalities, editor’s job because the story is worth to be heard anyways.

Tragic doesn’t even began to explain the life of Colleen Cardinal. Her biological parents, Esther and Ricky, were from Onihcikiskowapowin First Nation (Saddle Lake Cree Nation) in Alberta, Canada. This memoir is a remarkable journey for Colleen from her birth in 1972 to being torn from her parents who were deemed neglectful drunks in the first year of her life; through the horrific physical, emotional, and sexual abuse that she and her biological sisters suffered at the hands of their white adoptive father, Ronald White. Ronald, his white Mary (who was secretly biracial white and indigenous), and their biological son, Scott lived different lives than the girls who they forced into hard labor around the house and sexual abuse.

There are many passages in this book that I highlighted because the pain, misery, utter below-bottom despair, and rare signs of hope propelled me to want to keep reading even though the chapters were graphic and unpleasant traumatic stories. Colleen had five children of her own. It was hard to keep track of who fathered whom. I think there were three different fathers — all abusive to Colleen. Joseph, she described as the worst since he nearly killed her. She suffered through rape and beatings; one instance so intense she miscarried.

Colleen Cardinal’s abusive history is vital to understand because she was part of the “60’s Scoop” where Canada child services tore thousands of children from their people. They weren’t given to family or tribal kin for adoption. They were given to terrible white parents. The generation prior had been removed from their families and tribes too and sent off to residential schools which meet the definition of genocide. The white people who ran these schools forbid the indigenous students to use their native language, customs, clothing, or any identity at all.

“I thought this was how my life was meant to be: a broke-ass Indian living on welfare, just like the stereotype.”

The generational poverty, alcoholism, personality disorders, cycles of abuse, and PTSD are specifically rooted in the racism of colonialism. Colleen’s sisters had both become sex workers when they ran away from the White household. They didn’t have any choice. Unfortunately, her oldest sister Gina was murdered during this leaving behind orphaned children which different family members took stints in raising. The fleeting moments of hope came each time Colleen tried to go to college. She wanted to become a social worker and even found a long period of steady employment in crisis work. Trying to care for children without reliable babysitters forced her to leave job after job. The crisis work became too traumatizing as did what she believed would be an “easy, stress-free” job as a receptionist for the Assembly of First Nations.

Colleen was failed by the social systems in place until she finally encountered the right people — people who would dedicate their lives to helping the indigenous population. Life turned around again when she entered Sault College’s Addictions Counselor program. It was her first exposure to sharing circles and building trust in a group of people.

“I began to heal but something even more valuable was happening: I was learning spirituality, language, and culture. In my whole life I had never been exposed to smudging, praying, sweat lodge, ceremonies or any teachings about our Creator.”

The pace of the book feels natural. The author’s language changes about eighty percent through. Once Colleen had found some roots, she started to weave phrases of her Cree language into the text. Poor health forced her to seek out disability income but there was a silver lining here. She was able to set her own pace, her own passions, and begin to give to her community through public speaking. She co-founded gatherings for 60’s Scoop survivors. After finding the right friends, the right connections, there was no way not to keep internally cheering for Colleen, a woman by her own definition who failed as a mother. Her new found knowledge allowed her to educate others on the harms of colonialism, the complex PTSD (C-PTSD), and survival.

As stated, it’s not a pleasant story, but it is a necessary one that white people of North America need to read. In a time where the United States is "scooping" up children who are crossing in from Mexico looking for new lives and then sticking those children in concentration camps away from their siblings and parents, there has never been a more critical time to get educated on the trauma this causes. 

Rating: 5 stars

This was a difficult book to read, so full of heartbreak and pain. I felt so bad for Colleen and her sisters. No child deserves any of what they went through. I am ashamed of her adoptive parents. Even more so because I live not too far from where they used to live. I was mortified to learn that people that lived less than 40 kilometres away from me could treat helpless and fragile children so horribly. I confess, there were tears shed on my part.

I am proud of Colleen for surviving, for seeking out help and pushing her boundaries to grow and heal. She has such strength of spirit that it is surely the only thing that saved her life.

Yes, this is a hard book to read, but it reminds us that people, women, are stronger than they look, than we think, and even stronger than they believe. It reminds us that far too many of us have forgotten how to treat our fellow human beings.
It reminds us that we are all fragile and worthy of love. No matter our gender or colour of our skin.

Colleen recounts how she, and her two sisters, were removed from her parents home because of neglect, and placed with a white family, and there treated like second class citizens, because they weren't their birth children.
This is not fun reading. This is not for the faint of heart. This is something that should be read, however, to understand the damage that the process of removing Indigenous children from their birth parents did to the children, very timely reading

Ohpikiihaakan-ohpihmeh (Raised somewhere else): A 60s Scoop Adoptee’s Story of Coming Home by Colleen Cardinal

How much do you know about the Native children in Canada that were taken from their families and put in the homes of non-Native adoptive families? I knew very little about this part of history known as the 60s Scoop. This book changed that. Through Cardinals experience I learned of the horrific practice and the effect it had on her and entire generations of people who were taken from their home, their people, their culture and placed in the homes of white families in hopes of assimilation.

What Cardinal experienced was neglect and abuse in the home that she shared with her two older sisters and adopted mother, father and brother. She was never taught about her Native culture. She was beaten and assaulted by her adoptive father, neglected by her adoptive mother as she watched her adoptive brother be treated like a prince. Her and her sisters would all eventually run. Cardinal kept running for most of her life. Into the arms of abusive men, into alcohol, into the beds of strangers. Motherhood would bring its love and its challenges. Until she realized what she was running from and sought the help she needed to heal. Heal from the wounds of growing up away from her culture. Cardinal would grow and recognize the damage caused by her being forced to assimilate. Learning the history of her people and the damaged caused by colonization and systemic racism allowed unlearn all of the racism and homophobia she accepted in herself and others. Activism and educating others would be what saved her.

This was a heart wrenching story. Not only because of her life experiences and the sexual, verbal and physical abuse she endured but the realization of what her life could have been if not for the colonial powers at work that damaged her mother, her mother’s generation and led to the damage of her own generation. It’s so disheartening. But Cardinal is healing and putting in the work to help others heal. This memoir shines a light on a dark part of Canadian colonialist history. But it’s a story everyone should read to make themselves aware of that history.

Wow, this story is a revelation about Canada, a side of a beautiful country which has been kept hidden. With shreds of hope, snatched happiness in the vicious circle of abuse, drugs and racisim it is a wonder the author has come out alive, brave indeed.

“What they didn’t see was the pain, trauma and suffering that we endured living under that roof with those people.” – Colleen Cardinal

It’s been a few days since I finished Colleen’s story. I had a lot to think about. Colleen, an Indigenous woman, grew up in the Sixties Scoop – a practice that occurred primarily in Canada where Indigenous children were taken from their families and sent to foster homes or adopted (usually by white families) in the late 1950s on. Her story is one of growing up in a family different from her own and how it snowballed into the life she created for several decades. Colleen dealt with abuses abound including mental, emotional, physical, and even sexual. Trauma can alter people in vastly different ways and this story was a look at how Colleen coped through her life (very rough, detailed patches and all) and found her way back to herself and to the people and culture she was taken from years ago.

Colleen told this story as if she were sitting across from me speaking her truths. Honestly, there were a few instances I looked up almost expecting someone to be there telling me what her words were telling me about her life. What also impressed me is how she has owned up to so many things about her past that even she admitted aren’t easy to do for many people. In that, I applauded her greatly.

“I am not perfect by any means and have hurt and been violent to other people in my past.” – Colleen Cardinal

“Like a familiar piece of luggage, I have dragged my abuse right along with me, and in many ways have taken it out on my children.” – Colleen Cardinal

Perhaps wisdom does come with age and watching Colleen’s story unravel and lead her to a place of self-discovery was inspiring, hopeful, and educational (the Sixties Scoop was yet another piece of Indigenous culture I didn’t know existed beforehand). Additionally, her extreme love for her children was something to be cherished as I read. Yes, she has made many errors in her life (which of us haven’t?), and sometimes her own desires sadly did come before her children’s desires. However, she credits them for her ability to grow and change constantly and I appreciate that as I never had a mother who loved me as much as she loves her children.

The downside to her story, for me, was certain parts felt slightly repetitive. It wasn’t necessarily overdone to a point I was irritated or annoyed, however, it did detract from the way her story unraveled when we would see her travel back a moment to re-live something already discussed. I think why this was hard for me is that Colleen’s story has a lot of emotional and rough spots in it – things I have never experienced and things I wish no one would ever have to experience. Rehashing a section that I already felt sad about was difficult the first time and sometimes I didn’t want to stomach things a second time.

This book was neither easy to read nor bursting with warm, fuzzy feelings. I cannot relate to her on many levels, yet that is why I loved her story so deeply. I have been in awe of Native American and Indigenous culture since I was around five or six and have felt that so many of their stories have been skipped over or not given a platform or opportunity to reach as many people as they should. What has happened to their lifestyles and culture has unsettled me for decades and in listening to Colleen’s story I felt proud for her and her people to finally raise a voice and put a foot down to accepting what they are told to accept. While many voices are still not heard, this story was fascinating, saddening, and hopeful. I hope it allows others like her to find their way back to their true selves and allow the rest of us to see what has happened to so many Indigenous people. Those actions cannot be taken back – history is history. Yet there is always time to change the future to be better and brighter for future generations that have been previously been wronged for so long.

“There are things you just keep on doing no matter what. You drag your ass out of bed or off the couch and you keep going because you have to, because no one is going to do it for you.” – Colleen Cardinal

This is just one of many stories that should be read by many to help further the knowledge of what has happened under the rug to so many for years upon years. Don’t assume you know the full story unless you’ve truly looked at every angle. I highly recommend reading this story for anyone interested in learning more about the Sixties Scoop and understanding what’s really happening under the stereotypes put on many Indigenous by those who do not truly understand.

This book shows you the tragedy of what happens to first nations children taken from their homes. Not only did Colleen and her sisters lose their right to know their culture from a young age they were abused by their white family.

This book was hard to read and is not for the faint of heart, but it is a book that must be read. There are still native children taken from their families today who may never learn their culture.

I would like to thank Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a review copy in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion of it.

For those that think that taking a child out of its culture, and raising it by another culture is just fine, this book will change your mind. For those that think that the poverty of First Nations and Native peoples are not conducive to raising children, and that they are better off with wealthier, white families, then this book will change your mind. And for those that think that children are resilient and will bounce back from anything, this book proves otherwise.

Colleen recounts how she, and her two sisters, were removed from her parents home because of neglect, and placed with a white family, and there treated like second class citizens, because they weren't their birth children.

The author says that she was told that this was better, that she was not neglected in her new home, that she was taken care of. But, her new father sexually assaulted her sister, and tried to do the same to her. He would beat them for small infractions, and treat them cruelly, and her foster mother did nothing to save her.

This is not fun reading. This is not for the faint of heart. This is something that should be read, however, to understand the damage that 60s scoop, the process of removing Indigenous children from their birth parents, did to the children.

Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.